Chapter 5: Wolf In You
I hate myself, I really do. How could I forget about Harry like that? Sure I lost Sirius, but so did Harry. I should have checked up on him sooner, now look at him! He's in a coma and it's my fault. I should've known those relatives of his would try something. I should have insisted he come home with me. Guess I wasn't thinking straight; was too absorbed in my own grief. Poor Harry.
Remus was sitting on a plastic seat next to the hospital bed of the Boy-Who-Lived, Harry Potter, wondering what had happened to land Harry in hospital, and on his birthday too! To say that Remus was not feeling guilty would be a lie, he felt awful. He had been sitting in the same hard, plastic seat since Harry had been bought into the hospital wing three days ago. He had been doing a lot of thinking, and it all revolved around the boy lying unconscious next to him.
Sirius would kill me if he could see Harry now, he asked me to look after him. I don't think him being in a coma is looking after him! Why does everything seem to happen to him? First he loses his parents, then he gets stuck in that cupboard under the stairs for the next ten years of his life, then Voldemort. I wish he didn't have to face all that, he never had a chance at a normal childhood. In a way I really admire him, he's lived through so much. Most people wouldn't be able to handle it as well as he has. He certainly is nothing like his father, he isn't the slightest bit arrogant like James was, and he never had the chance to be. He'd probably run a mile if he knew how I felt about him though, but I can't help it. Must be something to do with being a werewolf, must look that up. I already have a mate, Sirius, so why do I feel this way about Harry? According to all the books I've read once my mate has died I should start pining away and die soon after. I have been upset but not nearly as much as I thought I'd be if Sirius died. I still have Harry, and I would do anything for him. That must be why I'm still sane and not dead, I have Harry. James would kill me if he knew, his best mate falling for his son. He'd most likely call me an old pervert. I can't help it, and I certainly can't stop it, I've tried. I love two men, Sirius and Harry, and I don't know what to do about it.
Remus eventually fell asleep, still sitting on the hard, plastic chair. Professor Dumbledore appeared to check on Harry whilst Remus was asleep and he stood there for awhile just looking at the two men, one sleeping and one in a coma. He wondered whether he should tell them. Would it achieve anything if the truth were known? Would it only upset and not solve anything? Dumbledore wandered off preoccupied with his thoughts.
4 days later
No, I've decided. Even if it doesn't help things, they both deserve to know the truth. I will tell Remus now, he can tell Harry when he awakens. Yes, that is the best course of action.
Having decided upon the best course of action, Dumbledore sent a House Elf to summon Remus to his office immediately.
Meanwhile, back in the hospital wing, Remus was still sitting in the same hard, plastic seat next to Harry's bed. He looked up at the 'pop' of the House elf and reluctantly left when told that Dumbledore wished to speak to him. He didn't want to leave Harry, what if he woke up and no one was there? Professor Dumbledore normally meant business so Remus left the hospital wing, his residence for the last week and made his way to the Headmaster's office.
Remus approached the stone gargoyle that guards the entrance to the Headmaster's office with a feeling of trepidation. What could he want? Saying the password "Bertie Botts", Remus went up the stairs and knocked on the Headmaster's door.
"Come in, Remus" called the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, from within his office.
"Good Afternoon, Albus, How are you?" Remus asked, polite as always.
"Good, my boy. Good indeed. Lemon Drop?"
"Ah, no thanks. What did you ask me here for?"
"Ah, yes. A most serious matter. Now, Remus, what I am about to tell you is only known by a few people – two of whom are dead. Now, I ask you to listen with an open mind to what I am about to tell you and to listen to an old man's reasons for doing what he thought was for the best. You remember the month of October in 1979? You, at that time, were dating Lily Evans, were you not?"
"Yes, I was. What does that have to do with anything?"
"It has everything to do with what I am about to tell you. The marriage between Lily and James Potter was a cover-up to protect someone, you, actually. You see Lily was carrying the son of a werewolf. I assume you are well aware of the ministry's laws regarding the breeding of werewolves?"
"Yes. I am."
"Well, Lily knew that if the true father were known she would have to abort the baby. So, in distress, she came to me. I suggested she enter into a marriage with someone else to protect the unborn child and to claim that the baby was their's. Lily chose James, who agreed, and they were wed in Early December 1979. Lily's child was born on the 31st of July 1980. That child is Harry."
"What? You mean Harry is my son, not James'? That can't be right, Harry looks so much like James."
"That may be true, at the moment, but I can assure you that the child Lily bore looked a lot like its father, you, Remus. James, as you know, was excellent in transfiguration and Lily was gifted in charms. Before Harry was a day old they got an old photo of James at that age and used it to transfigure Harry into a mirror image of James. Lily then cast a charm to make the spell permanent, and to lend some of James' characteristics, like height, etc, to the new baby. The charm was, as I said, permanent. Alas, when James and Lily died that Halloween night in 1981 the charm started to wear off. It has taken fifteen years and may even take a little longer, as Harry is so malnourished and the spell is probably what is keeping him alive at the moment. The charm will wear off and when it does don't be surprised if Harry looks very different from what he does now. For one thing, you and Sirius were both taller than James, so I expect Harry will be gaining a few inches once the charm wears off."
"But why? Why didn't you tell me all this before now? Harry just turned 16, that's 16 years of my son's life that I've missed out on! Why?"
"For your own good. If I had told you sooner, while you were unable to act how would you have felt? You would have felt awful, seeing what was happening and being unable to do anything about it. I did it for you. Now, as Harry is 16, you can gain custody of him in a Wizard's Court. He is able to make up his own mind where he shall live, and the magic world will accept that. Now, you can get to know each other without the Ministry breathing down your necks."
"I still don't think you had any right to make such a decision for me. He's my son! Does Sirius know? Has he lied to me too?"
"No. Sirius never knew. No doubt though if he sees Lily or James where he is now they will tell him."
"I've got to go, I need to think things over. You haven't heard the last of this though, you can't just take decisions that affect other's lives into your own hands, you don't have the right! I can't believe you hid this from me – I trusted you! How could you do this to me, to Harry? I need to go!"
"I have made your old rooms available for your use. You will still teach DADA this year, won't you? This hasn't changed anything has it?"
Of course it's changed things, the silly old, meddling busybody! "Yes, Albus, I said I would and I will. Thank you Albus."
With that Remus left Albus's rooms and headed towards his old quarters. He hadn't seen them since the end of Harry's third year, when he had tendered his resignation. It was good to see his old rooms again. Remus paced his office, thinking about all that Albus had told him.
Fancy me having a son. I never thought I'd have any kids. Why didn't the old man tell me? Oh, I know what he said, but who does he think he is? God? He can't make those sorts of decisions for people, it isn't fair!
Merlin, I wish Sirius were here, he'd know what to do. I'm so confused. He'd probably be in Dumbledore's office giving him a piece of his mind. Wish Harry were awake, I need to talk to him about this. He probably doesn't even know. No doubt he'll get angry, after all his whole life will seem a lie. He thought he was James' son and that's what everyone told him and the whole time he wasn't. That old man can not meddle in people's lives like that, it's not fair.
Remus continued pacing and thinking for many hours until he finally threw himself on his bed and continued thinking, falling asleep occasionally, only to be woken again with more thoughts about what will happen to Harry and himself.
He awoke the next morning feeling extremely tired but resolved about what he would do next. He went to the hospital wing and spoke to Harry – he'd heard that coma patients could sometimes hear what was said to them while they are unconscious. Remus figured it was worth a try; he had nothing better to do. And so that is why the rest of that week and the next he was to be found beside Harry's bed talking softly to the comatose boy.
A/N: I am so sorry this chapter is so long in coming, I had a lot of trouble with this chapter, writing angry characters is not one of my strengths. Do R & R! I do enjoy reading them! Makes my day.
Next chapter: Remus' transformations and Harry awakens . . . .