Chapter One
The desk lamp cast a pool of light in the otherwise dim room. It threw into relief the clutter of items on the desk that was placed in the corner. The tower of books, pushed to one side, the litter of paper and pens scattered over the surface and the pile of files all cast eerie shadows across the pad that lay open on the desk.
Eric blinked in the dull light. The statistics in front of him refused to stay stationary, the figures dancing across the page. He tiredly crossed out his current answer and threw his pen down leaving a trail of gleaming ink drops on the paper, adding to the current chaos on the page#. He was distracted, not concentrating on the assignment. Normally maths posed little problem for him, he enjoyed the cold approach of calculus and the certainty of the answers.
Allowing distraction to win, he eased himself out of his chair and glanced around. Like so many halls of residence, it was worn and lived in as generations of students had passed through. Therefore despite the poor light the general shabbiness of the room was not hidden.
With a brief glance once more at the statistics, he shook his head in despair and picked up his guitar that was propped up against the wall. Seeking refuge in the music he sat on his bed and started to softly strum the instrument, not wanting to wake Rob, his sleeping next-door neighbour. Yet the music swelled beneath his fingers and sprang from the strings, drowning out the usual noises from the corridor.
Lost in the sound he allowed his imagination to wander, to approach the source of his distraction. It was that girl, he admitted grimly to himself. A woman, always a woman that caused him to lose his concentration, to forget what he was in life and why he held the position he did. He plucked the strings with force as he remembered the other evening.
Rob had dragged him out. He was the one person that Eric truly regarded as a friend; for he seemed without the prejudice or artifice, so many people had. Rob claimed that Eric needed to truly discover all that life had to offer, which as far as he was concerned was a lot of alcohol and as many relationships with the opposite sex as he could fall in lust with. Eric was taken up in his neighbours hulking great stride and swept down to the bar with several of Rob's friends.
Normally Eric tried to avoid groups of people like this. Amongst a tightly knit community of friends, he always felt awkward, standing outside the circle of trust that was shared between them, the intimate understanding that could only exist between friends and couples, something he had never experienced. Waves of anger, born from a deep rooted fear washed over him as he stood on the outside of the group, a pint clutched in his hand, trying to participate in the general discussion and ignore the way their stared at his face.
He was just trying to resist the urge to bolt back to his room and hide from them all when their conversations were interrupted as one of the most beautiful girls Eric believed he had ever seen bounded up to them with obvious enthusiasm. She hugged Rob warmly and greeted the others in a similar fashion. Eric had been stunned, as he has stared at her, drinking in her smiling face, long shiny hair and throaty laugh. She turned to him, still smiling and introduced herself, but before he could do more then answer his name to her questioning, she was distracted and dragged away by another of what seemed to be her numerous acquaintances. Eric watched as she disappeared amongst the throng of people that filled the bar area, trying to imprint her image on his mind. He had seen her before, in a few of his lectures, but she had never noticed him and so Eric has never been witness to her smile, her laugh.
At this thought he threw his guitar on to the bed with disgust. Of course she would have noticed him. He knew he was hard to avoid, that he was clearly obvious on campus, despite his attempts to blend in. Standing up he flung his cupboard door open, forcing himself to stare at his reflection in the small mirror that hung on the inside of the door. Most of it was lost in the shadows, but the soft white of the mask that covered his face stood out clearly.
Eric groaned in frustration. Always, always it was there like a barrier to the rest of the world. He turned on the overhead light so that the room was suddenly cast into harsh clear colour. With a beating heart he raised his hands and removed the mask with trembling fingers, staring at his reflection in the mirror, forcing himself to acknowledge his face.
It stared back at him, as it always had for the past eighteen years. Admittedly changed from the horror it had been when he was young, by countless operations, it still was not the same as other people's faces. He knew that he could make the choice to leave the mask off, to bare his face to the world, but he could not bring himself to do so. A childhood of being forced to wear it had bred in him a habit that was hard to break.
It was his mother that had fed his insecurity and disgust by revealing to him her own. Unable to come to terms with the fact that her son did not reflect the dictates of a society that valued perfection, she had been unable to overcome her own prejudices and treat him like a normal child. Eric became aware from an early age that he was not so and that his face was the reason for his Mother's attitude. She had made the covering for his face and refused to look at him unless he was wearing it, deliberately distancing herself from her offspring.
Deprived of the affection of his only surviving parent and denied access to other children, Eric had grown up in imposed isolation that only compounded his self-disgust and loathing. By the time he reached his teenage years he was torn between the desire to join the world at large and to hide away from the curiosity and disgust with which he seemed to be judged.
His brooding was interrupted by a knock on the door. With a gesture that was second nature he replaced the mask. He warily looked at the door unused to having visitors. The summons sounded again and he walked over, opening it roughly and staring down at the person who dare interrupt his evening. He recoiled slightly as he saw that his visitor was the girl of his dreams, standing in the doorway, clutching a piece of paper in her hand.
'Hi,' she said slightly unsurely, a frown briefly settling on her forehead as she took in his stoic manner. 'I'm Katherine,' she continued when Eric did not reply. "I'm on your course, we met down the bar the other day." He stood there and stared at her. 'I was wondering if you could help me," she continued, filling the lengthening silence. "I am stuck on the last question on the assignment. I was going to ask Rob to introduce us, but there is a notice on his door promising unbelievable pain to anyone who disturbs him.
'Yeah,' Eric found his voice and stepping back admitted her to his room. 'He was balled out by his DoS for missing lectures and not handing in a couple of assignments. I think he is trying to catch up.
'That sounds like Rob,' Katherine replied. 'Sport first and everything else afterwards. So have you managed to figure this out? Pretty nasty set of questions, they've taken me an age to do.' She held out the piece of paper to him a hesitant smile widening her mouth. Eric took it from her hand and turning to his desk looked at the mess that his homework was in. Suddenly the fog that had been clouding his senses lifted and the answer seemed clearly obvious to him. He gave a brief grimace at his earlier stupidity.
'Easy,' he picked up his pen and corrected a few figures in her formula. 'You had the right method, just the wrong direction. But this one is very misleading - there's actually a mistake in the question.' He turned and handed the paper back to Katherine, who had sat down next to the guitar on his bed. 'That should work.'
"Gosh," Katherine looked suitably impressed as she smiled up at him. "Rob said you were good at Maths, but I didn't realise you were a genius." Eric let out a startled laugh at this comment.
"The word genius is like the word luxury, far too liberally applied. I just find Maths easy. Either you do or you don't." He shrugged his shoulders gracefully.
"And music." Katherine stated, placing a hand on the guitar next to her.
"Pardon?"
"I take it you find music easy. They often go together I believe." Katherine explained tapping the wood, so that it vibrated softly.
"I was never aware that it could be difficult," he replied to her explanation, bending down and retrieving the instrument from under her hand and propping it up against the desk. "A world without music would be a horrible place." He turned and gazed at her, slightly startled to find his eyes met directly.
"Absolutely," Katherine agreed, standing up as if aware of his discomfort. "Well, listen, thank you very much for all of this," she waved the paper in her hand. "You have rather saved my bacon, as they say." She smiled softly as she looked at him towering over her. "Tell you what, can I repay you with a drink?"
"Now?" Eric was startled.
"As good a time as any, don't you think? We can celebrate the fact that you have helped me finish a whole Maths assignment."
Eric hesitated, unsure of the offer, the bar was not a place that he tended to spend much time. "Okay, just a quiet one," he confirmed, not wanting to meet a lot of people. He paused and looked around the room with confusion before locating his shoes underneath his bed. Bending his tall frame in half he retrieved them unaware of Katherine's stare.
She quietly inhaled as she looked at him, having never been in such a private situation with him before. As the mask was so obvious, people tended to use that as the defining feature when they described him, but for the first time Katherine saw the tall frame unfurl itself. "He must be at least six foot four," she thought to herself as he stood up his height dwarfing hers. Yet when he moved he carried himself with such grace that it was almost as if he were listening to music. Katherine watched him silently, taking in his movements as they left the room and headed to the bar.
Being early in the week, it was doing a quiet trade that night and they easily found a table. Eric had naturally veered towards a seat in the corner away from the traffic approaching the counter.
"What would you like?" he asked taking his wallet out of his pocket and standing over her.
"Lager would be lovely," she smiled, "but let me pay for this, as I've dragged you out." She handed him a five-pound note and watched as he went to get the drinks. She bit her lip unsure and looked down at the ring-marked table, before once again raising her eyes to Eric waiting at the bar. "You are crazy Katherine," she muttered to herself. "He is a closed book, nothing to find out here". She smiled sadly to herself as she waited for him to return.
She had seen Eric plenty of times on and around campus, he even attended some of her lectures, but she had never dared approach him before. He always seemed so proudly alone, rarely speaking to anyone else, his communication with other people brief and often terse.
She had wanted to talk with him for ages, but could never find the right moment to strike up a conversation. There always seemed to be a gaggle of people around her and if her observations were correct it was the one thing that would make him run a mile.
She had hoped that Rob would introduce her, for he seemed friendly enough with his next-door neighbour. But she was frustrated when, having finally plucked up her courage with a legitimate reason she found her friend unavailable for the evening. It had taken courage to knock on his door.
"Here you go," her thoughts were disturbed as a pint was unceremoniously placed in front of her. "Hope you don't mind Fosters, it is all they have on at the moment." He smiled at her, a smile that faded fast as he realised how intently Katherine was looking at him. He noted that she was not doing this with the same curiosity that others did and she was not staring at the mask so much as looking at his eyes. "So," he finally broke the silence. "Have you known Rob for a long time?"
Katherine laughed. "Don't you mean why have you not met me sneaking out of his room in the early hours of the morning?" Eric looked at her in shock.
"Well the thought did cross my mind."
"I know Rob too well," she explained. "We grew up in the same town and have been to school together since we were nine. You kind of get to know peoples habits."
"Like promiscuity?"
"Exactly, he started at sixteen and has never stopped. I suppose he will settle down one day, but at the moment I believe his motto is 'rugby, women and then work. I hope he manages to catch up," she added as an afterthought.
"Well he was trying to get me to help him," Eric admitted. "But I pointed out that I couldn't exactly read the books for him."
"You might be a bit big to take into an exam as a mascot as well," Katherine chuckled. "Besides, you do maths, how could you help him with chemistry?" Eric shrugged and took a sip of his drink. "Ah, I see, a man of many talents." Katherine answered for him. "You should charge for you services, I could do with your help more often." The comment wrenched a laugh from him.
"If you find Maths so difficult, why are you reading it?"
"I'm not," Katherine explained. "I am actually doing Economics and am taking a few modules in Maths as I really want to do my final year in Business Management and it will stand me in better stead." She cocked her head and looked at him. "I will just have to keep you sweet so that you will continue to help me." She smiled cheekily, a dimple adding an air of innocence to her face. "Now tell me, what else do you like to do apart from helping people with their work?"
Eric paused rather amazed at the question, as he was not use to explaining himself and his likes and dislikes. He fell silent and mused over the idea. "Well music," he said finally. "I like to play the guitar, piano, compose, that sort of stuff."
"Do you sing?" Katherine demanded.
"Uh, yeah. Goes with the territory really."
"That's a pity," she signed. "I love music, but as soon as I open my mouth, even the cats and dogs run for cover."
At this, Eric burst out laughing, the sound causing Katherine to smile. "Why is it a pity?" he finally asked after he had calmed down.
"Well, it means that you will never ask me to partner you at Karaoke and we probably won't be able to be in the drama musical together. I mean just think of all the potential doors that are shut in our faces, just because I sound like a croaking toad!"
"That hasn't stopped many people who sound even worse," Eric commented. "I could always teach you if you want."
"And what would that require?"
"Total submission to my training methods," he replied, propping his chin against his hand and gazing at her intently, returning her stare, too lost in the conversation to practice his usual caution. "Oh and no chocolate or cheese."
"If that's the case then no thanks," Katherine replied, shaking her head. "Sounds far too hard a bargain, I would rather croak like a toad!"
Eric laughed again; unaware of how he had been drawn out. He began to relax, his grip loosening on the glass and his frame relaxing in the chair. "So when you're not out scaring the cats and dogs, what do you do?" he questioned.
Katherine pulled a face in thoughtfulness. "Go out a lot, get drunk more then I should," she added. "My Dad is a vet, so I've grown up learning to love animals, nature, being outside. I love riding, cycling, swimming, but I do it all so haphazardly that I am okay at all of it, but fantastic at nothing. I just love being with friends, enjoying life, the joie de vivre, all that. There, now I've told you, it's your turn. Music, what else?"
"Music, drawing, singing, keeping fit. Do you want another drink?" Eric noticed that her glass was empty.
"Yes please." She watched him walk to the bar again and returned with a large pitcher. "Good thinking," she commented as he slid back into his chair.
"Saves getting up," he replied. "So, what were you asking me?"
"What do you enjoy doing?"
"Drinking," he replied filling up both their glasses.
"Naturally, but you said more."
"More?" He paused. "Oh you mean drawing, singing and all that." He subtly dismissed the subject. "The usual."
"Well that's one thing we have in common," Katherine mused, a grin on her face.
"But they do say that opposites attract," Eric regretted the words the minute they left his mouth. "I mean, I, it's just," he stammered, trying to justify his comment, cursing himself for his stupidity, for allowing the words to leave his mouth. Katherine stopped his flow of self-denial by firmly placing her hand on top of his.
Suddenly it all became clear to Eric. He needed to make this girl opposite him realise how he felt, explain his behaviour. He realised that she was watching him intently, her hand still trapping his, smooth and warm against his skin. People didn't normally touch him like that and he savoured the sensation. "Katherine," he said her name quietly, "I would like it if we could be friends - not through Rob, but because we enjoy each other's company." He realised that his speech sounded stilted and formal "I'll even help you with your homework," he added, hoping to lighten the mood.
Katherine stared at him, slightly surprised by the question for she had not been asked to be someone's friend since she was little. She stared at the man opposite and found he met her gaze unblinkingly. She studied what little of his features were on show. Even in the dim light of the bar, she could see that his hair was thick and dark, a wayward lock falling over his brow. The mask covered his forehead and cheeks, with space around the eyes, then continued over the bridge of his nose and across the top of his mouth, curling slightly downwards at the corners, but not enough to hide the hesitant smile that was dancing around the corner of his mouth, as he awaited her answer.
Her heart skipped a beat as she thought of the enormity of what he was requesting. Obviously he had noticed her, the way she had noticed him. Perhaps she had not been so foolish to believe there was an attraction. Love at first sight? She smiled slightly at the thought, realising that he was waiting for an answer, holding her in his gaze as if he were afraid to let it go.
"Of course," she spoke, after what seemed like an eternity. "Why else do you think I would have invited you out?" She squeezed his hand and released it, before breaking into peals of laughter so contagious that Eric found himself joining in.
It was only when a member of staff came and asked them to finish their pints that they both realised the time. They had been lost in their conversation, aided by several drinks. Katherine stood up first, only to sway unsteadily and sit back down. She shot a look of despair at Eric who burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" She demanded loudly.
"You are," he replied and standing up almost as unsteadily, he put out his arms and hauled her up from her seat. "Come on, let's get you home." With his arm around her waist, they weaved an unsteady passage around the Great Court and back to their halls. Reaching Katherine's room they stood outside the door, arms locked around each other in an attempt to provide balance to the other.
"I had a really good time tonight." Katherine whispered with a giggle, leaning her head against his chest, her inhibitions drowned in what she had drunk. She looked up at him and Eric realising his opportunity bent his head and kissed her with alcohol fuelled passion. Katherine was vaguely aware of the mask rubbing against her cheek, but was soon lost in the kiss, the intensity and emotion of the evening pouring into every fibre in her body. She leaned into him and kissed him back with the same force as he was kissing her.
"Golly," she said as they broke apart, her face split in two with a wide grin. "That was amazing" she looked suggestively up at him, hoping for a repeat.
"Uh, I uh, better get going." Eric mumbled, realising that there were a severe risk of them both getting carried away. He bent down and kissed her again before staggering away to his room. Buoyed up by alcohol, he took off his clothes and his mask and fell into a comatose sleep on his bed, not even having a chance to go over the fantasies that had turned into reality.
The next morning, he wished that he could forget as easily. His head throbbed as if someone were beating a tempo on his skull, his tongue felt like there was an inch of fur growing on it and the feeling of nausea in his stomach refused to go away.
He managed to roll out of bed and stagger into the bathroom to the basin. He clumsily grabbed a glass and drunk as much water as he could stomach. Moaning, he sought the refuge of his bed again and pulled the covers over his head. The sunlight glared into the room in unseasonable brightness, where he had forgotten to close the curtains and in a nearby room someone had turned their music up very loudly.
Just as he was at the peak of feeling sorry for himself, there was a knock at the door. Eric glanced out from under the sheets, panicking, as he could not locate his mask anywhere. "Bugger off," he shouted, giving up his fruitless search. He barely had time to throw the duvet over his head again, as the visitor ignored his command and came into the room, letting the door slam shut behind him. Eric winced with the noise as it reverberated through his body.
"What's got into you mate?" he heard Rob ask with false pity.
"About twelve pints," came the reply from under the covers.
"I like that," the voice took on an offended tone. "I stay in for one night and you decide to go and get wasted without me. Who with?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Eric replied evasively. Rob glanced around the room, looking for some evidence of another occupant, especially a woman. But all he could see was a heap of clothes where Eric had stumbled out of them the night before and his mask dangling drunkenly off the desk lamp.
Realising that his friend was exceedingly hung over, he remained silent on the subject. "Well I better get going. Do you want me to get you anything?"
"Water, paracetamol," came the reply from under the cover accompanied by a large groan as if to symbolise the extent of his suffering. Rob walked down the corridor, musing on his friend's activities last night. As he reached the stairwell he met Katherine coming down the stairs.
"Hey Rob," she greeted him gingerly, without any of her usual effervescence.
"Hey Katie," he answered before pausing. "You okay?" He added in concern as she closed her eyes and grabbed the handrail.
"Just slightly hung over," she commented. "Bit too much to drink last night."
"Was there some party on last night? Everyone seems to have hangovers."
"Everyone?"
"Well you and Eric," he commented. "Hang on a sec, were you out together?" Katherine lowered her eyes and nodded her head.
"He helped me on some maths and we went out for a drink, got rather carried away. I am so regretting it so much." She swallowed heavily. "How is he?"
"Worse then you are I think," Rob said looking her over. "At least you are standing. "Were you going to see him?"
"I left some Maths homework there, better go and pick it up."
"Would you do me a favour and get him some pain killers and water?" Rob asked, passing over the responsibility. "I better not be late for lab, had a bit of a bollocking yesterday."
"Rob," Katherine admonished sternly before capitulating with a sigh. "Okay," she accepted, smiling gingerly at him. "See you later." She touched him gently on the arm in friendship before retracing her steps to her room.
Eric stumbled over to his desk and tied the mask on, intending to find Rob and the supplies he had requested. His alcohol soaked body trembled at the effort and he sunk into his chair, holding his head in his hands in an effort to stop the room spinning and control his increasing nausea. He sat there for several minutes, admonishing his irresponsible behaviour the night before, trying to force himself to accept his state as a duly deserved fault.
A knock at the door interrupted his downward spiral of self-sympathy. "Yeah," he groaned in invitation, unable to find the energy to stand up and open the door. "Cheers Rob," he thanked the person standing there, turning slightly and glancing at the figure through his fingers. To his surprise, it was not his neighbour, but Katherine looking down at him with a mixture of curiosity and pity. "Oh shit," he groaned realising he was presenting an unbecoming sight.
"Not feeling good?" she questioned with sympathy, resting a hand on his shoulder. "I don't feel fantastic either." She placed the bottle of water cradled in her arm on the desk and held out a packet of paracetomal. "Want some?"
"Cheers," he muttered, popping the tablets out of the wrapping and swallowing them, chased by a gulp of water. Closing his eyes, he tried to think of a clever conversation to impress her, to regain the intimacy of the evening before. However, his brain refused to cooperate and all he could think about was the soft manipulation of his shoulders as Katherine stood there, massaging them softly. He relaxed into the sensation, forgetting who was giving the comfort and sinking into his thoughts, as the bulk of his back was gripped, soft hands willingly touching him and rubbing his neck and shoulders. Suddenly, without warning, the hands stopped moving across his shoulders and ripped the mask off his face.
Eric's first reaction was one of pure panic. "What the fu…" he shouted, throwing his hand over the worst part of his face. Adrenalin surged through him, temporarily removing his hangover. Rising, he turned to face Katherine, dropping his hand as anger replaced his alarm. "You stupid bitch," he stepped towards her, intent only on recovering his mask, unaware of the threat in his movement.
Katherine stood rooted to the spot with fear, staring at the hungover, half-crazed man in front of her. She could not fully explain her actions to him, as she did not understand them herself. Her natural reaction was to take a step back, away from the angry swearing person in front of her, clutching the mask against her chest, whilst he continued his litany of curses. Having presence even when he was at peace, Eric now presented a formidable sight. Hoarse with rage and fury, his hangover added clumsiness to his otherwise graceful movements, but could not hide his inherent strength.
But it was his face that Katherine could not take her eyes off. She only had a half formulated plan when she pulled the covering off, a desire to truly see this man for whom she was beginning to develop feelings. Now her heart was beating in her mouth as she gazed at what he hid from everyone. The skin seemed almost too thin where a growth covered one cheek, raised hard and raw. It ran from under one eye, ending above his lip, slightly pulling them into a sneer. His other cheek was clear, except for scars, signs of early operations. Most were around his hairline, but one ran from the edge of his nose, into the curve of his mouth.
"Eric," she whispered softly. "I'm sorry." Trembling, she held out the covering to him, pleading with her eyes for him to accept her apology. He snatched it from her hand and tied it once more in place, over his features. Having had this restored to him, he sunk onto his unmade bed, clutching his head against his knees. Katherine watched him, unsure of what to do, desperate to leave but rooted to the spot with worry, fear and a curious lingering pity.
"Don't feel pity," the voice came from the figure on the edge of the bed. "Think whatever you want, feel disgusted, but don't pity me."
"Eric," Katherine started again hesitantly, wanting to explain, wanting to restore what they had the night before. At the sound of his name, he looked up at her. "Why don't you just get the fuck out," he roared, startling Katherine so much that she turned and wrenching the door open, ran out.
Unthinkingly she fled from the corridor and ran up to her room, before falling on to her bed, sobbing her heart out. She could not truly understand her feelings, but she realised that something that had seemed so promising had just come to a premature end and it was all her fault. She lay there for an hour, staring at the wall, replaying the scene in her mind.
She tried to be rational and argue that she hardly knew Eric. Yet she also knew that this was not the truth. What had started out as a friendly drink out of a wish to get to know the enigmatic person she had seen around campus, turned into a deep admiration and if she admitted it desire. From the first instance that they had started to talk she had felt a connection, hypnotised by his very being. His way of moving, the modulation of his voice, the way he carried himself. His overall presence was of power and strength and she found herself drawn to his presence, the commanding way he gestured when he spoke, held himself and moved. Yet as the evening drew on, Katherine realised this was just a facade. There was a childlike vulnerability to him that she craved to protect, but this was coupled with a ferocious intellect and what seemed like many unbounded talents in a variety of areas.
Their conversation ranged over many subjects, yet whenever Katherine had attempted to ask anything about Eric's past he quickly became evasive. She realised that this was hidden, like his face, behind a mask and the only way she would find anything out was to discover it for herself.
Focussing on this thought, she reassured herself that her actions could at least be explained, if not justified and if she wished to redeem the situation, she had better go and try and bridge the chasm that had just sprung up between Eric and herself. Clambering off her bed she splashed her face with cold water and gazed into the mirror.
She was the one who could do with a mask, she thought. Her eyes looked like slits in a swollen and puffy face, her hair was tousled and curled into a myriad of little ringlets around her hairline. She pushed them off her face and the action made her remember the scars that she had seen on Eric's face in a similar place. With a sigh she turned away from the mirror to concentrate on her next actions, putting eye balm on hoping to make the puffiness go down.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Sighing at the disturbance she walked over and pulled it open. "What?" she said brusquely, hoping to fob off whoever was disturbing her. She looked up and saw him standing in front of her rather warily. Showered and dressed he resembled the Eric of last night.
"I figured I had some explaining to do," he offered.
Unable to find words to reply, Katherine raised her eyebrows and stood back, admitting him entry to her room. She tried to remain calm, faced with an opportunity she wanted, but was not prepared for as he wandered in and sat down in her armchair. "Would you like some tea? Or coffee?" She tried to bring a degree of normality to the situation, to try and prevent the feeling the executioner axe was about to fall.
"Yes, thanks," Eric accepted. There was hesitancy in his movements and Katherine guessed that he was nervous. As she made him the drink she watched him out of the corner of her vision. He had lost the enraged power that had surged through him earlier and now sitting uncomfortably in her room, resembling the man she had begun to connect with the night before.
"So?" she prompted, giving him an opening as she handed him the cup, before sitting down opposite him.
"I just, well I just wanted to ask, um well…" he trailed off, unable to formulate the question, pleading at her with his eyes, wanting her to understand how pathetically sorry he was for his outburst, to be able to take apart where they had been last night. For the first time, a girl had shown interest in him and he had ruined it with his temper.
"Why?" Katherine filled in for him after a pause. "You want to know why I did what I did?"
"Well, um, yes."
"I don't really know," she sighed. Raising her eyes she looked steadily into his noting that they seemed to be clear of any lingering traces from how much he had imbibed. "I wanted to know you Eric, to really see you." She paused and swallowed heavily. "I am sorry you know. I didn't realise. Didn't even begin to imagine that you would be so, well, so angry. I just didn't want there to be any lies between us."
"Did you think I was lying?" Eric asked.
"No, but you were hiding something from me, which is the same thing." Katherine replied quietly. "We could hardly start a relationship unless it were based on truth." She spoke the words quietly, sadly, not holding back her true emotions, knowing that unless she was honest with this man she might loose him for good.
"Relationship?" Eric questioned, wondering if he had heard correctly, startled at her use of the word.
"Eric," she jiggled about nervously. "I don't want to be just friends. I mean what I am trying to say is that I want something more then just another drinking partner. I like you," she paused. "A lot – there seems to be a connection and well, I just wanted us to start on a level footing."
She could tell that he was at a loss for words as he stood there, his mouth falling open, shaking his head slightly as if he did not believe her words. He briefly closed his eyes and when he opened them again he seemed calmer, once more invested with the aura that flooded through his body. "I'm sorry," he said slowly. "I lost it. I cannot give a better explanation. I just tend to do that sometimes." He smiled slightly. "I do it to Rob a lot, he just doesn't let it bother him."
"You scared me," Katherine said quietly.
"I know - I'm kind of good at that," Eric said with a slight grin. "But I really don't want to hurt you and Katherine, I would like to, well, I would like…" He trailed off and Katherine realised that despite the opening she had offered him, he was still unsure. "What I am trying to say, very badly, is I like you too, a lot and would like to, um, get to know you better," he finished in a rush. Katherine thought that if she could see his face he would be blushing.
"So we start with the truth," she offered. "And we'll take it from there. Agreed?" Eric nodded, his eyes never leaving her face. "Okay," she said and came and sat down on the arm of the chair, lifting her hands very slowly clearly emphasising her intent. Eric leaned away from her slightly, as if afraid. "The truth," Katherine repeated and he sat rock solid as she once more lifted the mask off his face.
He sat unmoving, staring back at Katherine; the only sign of his inner turmoil was the increased heaviness of his breathing. She stared hard at his face, looking at the weld on his right cheek, examining the scars. She lightly traced the air over the one that ran by his mouth. "Did it hurt?" she asked.
"Yes," he replied. "Not as much as some of them, but more then others." Katherine, realising the immense inner control it was taking him, smiled slightly and leant forward, placing her lips against his. An intake of breath indicated his surprise but he returned the kiss.
Breaking apart Katherine handed him back the mask. He smiled as he took it from her, the gesture straightening his mouth before he tied the covering back in place. He rose off the bed and stood towering over Katherine. "I've got some stuff to do, but I guess I'll see you this evening then?" he said quietly. "We can go for a drink or something." He briefly reached out and traced the air around her cheek. Then without another word he turned and left the room, leaving Katherine alone with her thoughts.
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