Hardest Decision Ever

How much longer am I supposed to suffer? How much longer am I supposed to wait?

I thought as I sat on my bed one afternoon. I was surrounded by shadows, with the sunlight from the window being the only light source in my room.

But wait for what? Death? Or a new girlfriend? None of those would help…nothing can…I'm hopeless…

I kept my feet firmly on the ground as I tried to avoid my knees from shaking. My elbows rested on my lap as I leaned over so that my hands can reach my head and grip it tightly. I started to sway back and forth as I dealt with the pain devouring me from within. The strength of my hands pulling on my hair wasn't enough to avoid my lips from shaking, or the tears from appearing. I was having another emotional breakdown. It started to occur more often as I continued to endure all this flaming anger. Jealousy wasn't only hurting me emotionally, it hurt me physically as well. I kept experiencing an agonizing pain in my chest almost everyday.

"Wally?" Hoagie said after seeing me when he entered the clubhouse later that afternoon. I ignored him. I continued to pace around the room, breathing heavily as the emotional breakdown continued. Hoagie watched me and saw the bottle of Vodka on my hand.

"Where'd you get that?" He asked me.

"My parents" I said, taking another gulp.

"But didn't they ban you from alcohol for the nextsix months?"

"That's why I had to steal it…" I continued to walk around in circles.

I knew that Hoagie was alarmed when he heard this. That's why he left the room in a hurry and came back later with Nigel.

"Wally, give me the bottle" Nigel told me.

I ignored him and continued storming around.

"Wally, give it to me" He said in a more demanding voice.

I still ignored him. Nigel did something stupid after that. He fought me to take the bottle, and Hoagie helped. Of course I was defeated. I was too weak, and there were two of them.

Two hours later the vodka bottle that used to be in my hand was replaced with a cup of coffee, which I drank. I was lying on the couch waiting for myself to get sober as Nigel, Abby and Hoagie watched me.

"What is this about, Wally?" Nigel asked as he leaned against a wall with his arms folded.

I didn't answer.

"It's about Kuki isn't it?"

I rolled my eyes. I didn't want to talk about her.

"Wally, we're all sorry that you're in this situation but you can't drink just because of this. That won't get you anywhere"

"Whatever…" I said.

"You do know that you could die because of drinking, right?" Abby snapped.

"I don't care…"

"Lament all you want but we're not gonna let you go too far. We're gonna take care of you and we don't care what we have to do to succeed"

"Crud…You guys are acting like my parents"

"Speaking of your parents" Hoagie said, "We're gonna get them to help us take care of you"

I stood up. "No…! Don't tell them what happened" I mumbled despite my headache. I can't let my parents know, especially my mom. It'll break her heart.

"Sorry, Walls. We already called them. They're on their way" Hoagie told me. I buried my face in my hands. What have I done to deserve this?

"Wally, control yourself" Nigel said, "You can't let jealousy ruin you…"

I sat up and thought of what he said. Just then someone opened the door and in came Kuki. "I heard what happened" She said and she sat by my side, "Are you okay?"

I didn't answer. I just looked at her.

You're ruining my life…

As I stared at her, my attention led to the open door where I saw Chad in the yard and he was approaching.

You two are ruining my life…jealousy is all to blame…

"Wally" Kuki called me. As I gazed at her several thoughts ran through my mind. I couldn't live with her being with Chad. I can't live being her friend. It was then that I made the hardest decision ever. It's better to live my life not being her friend at all.