Fucking piece of
Need some help, Mr. Lyman? Nick, one of the White House security guards, comes up to me.
Help? I'm about ready to drop kick this damn car seat.
Why is something so essential to the safety of my son so damn complicated to install?
I pull my head out of the backseat of the Trailblazer. You don't know anything about car seat installation, do you?
I know my sister has one in each car so she doesn't have mess with it, the kid jokes. Let me take a look, sir.
In two minutes, he has the damn thing secured.
Shaking my head in disgust, I have to chuckle. Thanks, Nick. I appreciate it. The damn thing is never coming out.
Not a problem, sir, he steps back and closes the door for me. The rumor mill says your little guy gets to come home today.
I nod.
Well, congratulations, sir, Nick smiles.
Thanks again for your help, I tell him, climbing into the SUV.
Today is the first day Donna's let me drive it and only because I'm picking her and David up at noon.
Compared to the Mustang, it's like driving a tank.
It's been seventeen very long days. Mamme went home last night. Her being here really helped. Donna and I were actually able to see each other in the evenings for a few hours.
Deb was going to arrive on Monday, but since Freddy received his acceptance letter from Georgetown, she's decided to wait until they move him out here next month.
I'm taking some time in August, once Congress hits its summer recess at the end of July. Donna is actually looking forward a month of quiet motherson bonding time.
She claims she's going to learn to cook.
***
You got the car seat in? I pester Josh while we're walking out to the parking lot. I have David in his carrier and Josh has everything else we've managed to accumulate in seventeen days in the neonatal intensive care unit.
He's loaded down like a pack mule.
Yes, Donna. Josh's voice filters through bags and blankets. I had expert help.
I start to panic. Who? You didn't let Sam or the President help, did you?
No! Nick, the security guy in the parking lot. He helped. It's never coming out, Donna. I promise.
While Josh stuffs everything into the back, I put David in the car seat. Josh is right; Nick got it in correctly and securely.
Josh gives me the keys and climbs in the back seat to sit beside David. This being the child's first car ride, Josh is a little nervous.
Okay, we're both a little nervous about everything. Hopefully, this will pass in a week or two, once we get settled at home.
Home now bears a striking resemblance to a Babies R Us' store. The shower gifts were augmented by baby gifts from far and wide. Everyone from Chancellor Muller of Germany and his wife to Lord Marbury, even the Republican Women's Congressional Caucus sent something.
Do you have to go back to work? I ask, settling David into the antique cradle.
I made Josh move it from the nursery to our bedroom for convenience. Once David is sleeping through the night, it will go back.
Josh sits down on the bed and pulls me down next to him. But the President would like us to join the staff for the fireworks tonight. I told him I'd have to run it past you.
I bite my lower lip, anxious about having David out in public so soon. Although the annual 4th of July staff extravaganza would be a welcome change of pace.
Of course, not being at the hospital 12 hours a day will be a welcome change of pace.
They're watching from the Residence this year, Josh offers. He and Dr. B want to meet David without bothering the world. He said to tell you there wouldn't be a lot of people there.
***
I'm no keener on this than Donna is, but I told the President I'd ask, so I'm asking.
If we go tonight, can we spend the entire weekend at home? Just the three of us? Donna rests her head on my shoulder, her eyes never straying from our son's tiny, sleeping body.
Sounds like a plan, I agree with a smile. You and me and the drool factory.
He does drool a lot, doesn't he? Donna chuckles.
I think it's probably the relief of having David home finally more than my joke was funny, but the two of us sit on the edge of our bed laughing quietly for almost ten minutes.
Until we're interrupted by the source of our amusement.
This is the rest of our lives, isn't it? I ask wearily, trying to determine what David wants. I know the I want my daddy' wail and the there's something smelly and disgusting in my diaper' cry, but I'm still having trouble with the difference between somebody, anybody hold me right now!' and feed me!'
***
Give me that adorable child, Abbey Bartlet demands the instant Josh and I set foot in her presence.
Josh hands him over and takes a step back, so the women can crowd around. Most of them have already seen him once, but he's changed a lot in the past 17 days and they all need to ogle over him again.
How are you feeling, Donna? the First Lady asks, smiling at David's curious grasping. He's managed to snag her finger and seems unsure of what to do with it now.
Pretty good. I started doing some toning exercises to help get things back where they belong and since he hasn't been home, I've actually been sleeping.
All right, make a hole. the President elbows his way between Ginger and Margaret. Abigail, you're hogging the baby.
She reluctantly gives him up, to the amusement of the assembled crowd. I drift out of the way and lean against Josh, who wraps his arm around my waist. I glance up at his face, smiling at the excessive paternal pride plastered on his features.
Hello, David, President Bartlet coos. Aren't you the most handsome guy in the room? Everyone's just treating you like a crown prince, aren't they? You probably just want to be home asleep.
They pass him around and everyone gets to hold him and smile at him. By the time he reaches Toby, he's fussing.
Too many strangers and too many unsure hands have him way overstimulated.
***
Toby looks down at the tiny thing he's been handed and David stares back up at him and starts to absolutely wail.
Oddly, I frequently have the same reaction when I look at Toby.
Donna is trying not to laugh at him while I rescue my son and my friend from one another.
Come here, David, I take him and rest his whimpering five pounds against my shoulder, turning my head so he can hear my voice. Toby's not so bad. He's just unhappy all the time. You're going to have to work on him, okay? Win him over from the dark side.
You've been possessed by the some sort of babytalking evil spirit? Toby's glare indicates he thinks so.
Toby, your grumpiness doesn't stand a chance in the presence of the completely innocent, I tease him.
***
Josh, having determined this cry means feed me, delivers him to me. When I ask the First Lady where an inconspicuous spot would be, she ushers me off to a small side room.
He's really quite precious, Abbey tells me while I feed him.
He's a carboncopy of his father, I meet her eyes with a smile. And not just in looks.
You better have another one quick, before Josh can spoil this one rotten, Abbey advises with a laugh.
Speaking of having another one, can I ask you a medical question?
Go ahead.
All the research I did says we need to wait six weeks, at least, to start you know I blush, unable to say the word sex in the presence of the First Lady.
To resume having sex.
Right. But my doctor told me we could start whenever I was comfortable trying it?
Typically, we tell you to wait six weeks because by then, you've stopped bleeding and any tears or stitches have healed. Truthfully, your doctor is probably right. If it doesn't cause you any pain, there's no reason you can't start having sex again when you're ready. And there's no reason you can't just fool around until you are, Abbey smirks at me.
I switch David to the other side and giggle. I read something about the postbaby orgasm.
Donna, dear, if he was doing it right before, you probably won't notice the difference.
She gives me a knowing look. Rumors of Josh's sexual prowess became legends after election night.
Jed, unlike Josh, was a little slow on the uptake until after Elizabeth was born. Keep in mind, it was the midsixties and we were good Catholics. Men just didn't focus on our needs quite the way they did even five years later. I had my first one and it was absolutely incredible. Jed was scared to death, took him a month before he was willing to try having sex again.
There are things you don't need to know about your parents' sex lives, much less the President's.
We have, without a doubt, just crossed that line.
***
Donna looks a trifle disturbed when she returns to the party.
What's wrong? I ask, giving her a kiss and cupping my hand over David's head.
I'll tell you later, she rolls her eyes. Should we stake out a spot?
The bear is guarding a bench for us, I nod towards the balcony where I put the diaper bag and David's stuffed bear.
The party starts to calm down and we all wander outside. The three of us curl up on our bench to watch the fireworks.
David is not watching so much as he is sleeping.
You tired? I ask when she yawns midway through the display.
A little. It'll be nice to be home for the weekend, she replies, resting her head against my chest.
***
It will be nice to be home as a family for a few days. Something we haven't had a chance to do since David was born.
Stifling another yawn, I wonder how on earth we're going to alter our hectic lives to accommodate the very real changes we're experiencing.
We glossed over it before. Unsure of what to really expect, neither Josh nor I wanted to commit to changes we weren't sure would be necessary.
The 20hour days have to go, there's no question about it, but we can probably work from home more. I doubt Leo would be extremely receptive to having David in the office after daycare hours.
It wouldn't be conducive to getting work done.
As evidence, I offer exhibit one: the President of the United States, the leader of the free world, is ignoring the fireworks to make silly faces at my son.
***
I'm not sure what's funnier, watching President Bartlet playing peekaboo with David or Toby shooting looks of annoyance at them.
Leo grabbed me earlier and asked if Donna had decided when she was coming back to work and regardless, he and I needed to sit down and talk over some preliminaries.
Preliminary what, I'm not sure.
I do know my 18 and 20hour days at the office are unequivocally over. I will not miss the first four years of my son's life for the convenience of the junior whatsit from wherever.
Donna doesn't want to stay home, but one of us is going to have to work daycare hours.
We just have to discuss which one of us.
I don't think having David in the office before and after hours will be very productive.
There's only so much pissing and moaning from Toby about the lack of professionalism the baby causes a man can take.
Fireworks over, Donna and I gather the copious amount of crap we now drag around and head for the car.
Leo walks out with us.
We'll sit down on Monday, Josh, he tells me, leaning down to say goodbye to David before kissing Donna on the cheek. I'm glad he's home.
***
Hey, Donna? Josh calls from the bathroom where he's brushing his teeth while David has a prebedtime snack. How do we look for next Saturday?
For what? I give him a warm smile when he curls up next to me on the bed.
Josh runs a possessive finger over our son's curly brown hair. David's bris.
Bris? You're talking about a circumcision?
Yes. A ritual circumcision. He sounds a little defensive. We agreed to raise the kids Jewish, Donna. This should have been done two weeks ago, but since he was in the hospital, the mohel I talked to said we should wait. I had to specifically ask them not to do it while he was in the NICU.
I just I find myself at a complete loss as I absently start rubbing David's back to burp him. Is it really necessary?
I thought we had an agreement, Josh sighs. I agreed to a Christian wedding with the understanding we would raise our children Jewish. This is important to me, Donna. Please try to understand how important this is to me. I made this promise to my grandfather on his deathbed.
Before I have a chance to respond, Josh gets off the bed and leaves the room. As if he senses the tension in the room, David starts his I want my daddy' cry.
I sigh in frustration and follow Josh into the living room. He's sitting on the couch with his head tilted back and his eyes shut.
If you looked at the two of us and consider we had a baby seventeen days ago, you'd think Josh gave birth, he looks that tired. I start to wonder if he's been sleeping at all.
I'm sorry, I tell him, earnestly, sitting next to him. That's what we agreed to do and I shouldn't be questioning your faith.
Josh settles David against his chest and wraps his arm around my shoulder.
I know it seems kind of barbaric, but it's an important part of being Jewish, Josh tries to explain.
I know and I'm sorry for making it a thing.
I rest my head on his chest next to David, happy to hear the smile return to his voice.
Can we talk about godparents?
There are Jewish godparents? That surprises me.
It's honorific, they don't really do anything. But I thought it'd be a way to include our friends in our kids' lives. I wanted to ask Leo if it's okay with you, Josh answers shyly.
Who else?
Did you have a preference?
I'd like to ask Dr. Bartlet, but what do you think she'd say? She's done a lot for me personally and I'd like to show her I haven't taken her support for granted.
I think she'd be thrilled.
Talking about the First Lady reminds me of our conversation from earlier and the reason I asked.
You know what would thrill me? I whisper in my husband's ear.
he turns to face me.
A fireworks display of our own. I lean in and capture his surprised lips with mine.
Our tongues reacquaint themselves until Josh pulls away, catching his breath.
Can we do this already? he asks, eyebrows pulling together and his forehead wrinkling in confusion. I thought we had to wait until I don't know something.
***
Me to be ready.
Donna's broken out the seductive voice. The one that makes the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up in anticipation and makes Spongebob stick his head out of my boxers to see what's going on.
Basically, this voice resulted in the little guy resting on my chest.
I'm going to put David down, then. I give Donna a peck on the cheek.
Moving slowly so as not to wake him, I gently place him on his back and cover him with a warm, soft, babysized afghan Donna's grandmother made.
Turning around, I find Donna standing behind me. She's wearing old flannel pajama bottoms and one of my old buttondown shirts; her hair is mussed and she's not wearing any makeup.
I don't think she could be any more beautiful if she tried.
***
Are you sure we can do this? Josh's voice is husky with the desire I can see sticking out of his boxers.
Honey, I had a conversation with the First Lady of the United States of America about resuming our sex life. Trust me when I tell you we can do this, I reply swaying my hips as I close the gap between us.
He reaches for my hand and my lips simultaneously. I feel a flash of soreness when our hips meet, but ignore it in favor of the more appealing feel of his tongue against mine.
I love you so much, he breathes, moving to nibble on my jaw line.
Mm hmm, I moan, pressing into his kisses.
Josh is wearing his ratty, old Mets shirt and I run my hands up the sides. His body is hot to my touch and his skin feels so good under my hands.
It's only been seventeen days. We went longer during the campaign, but this is almost like the first time. Josh's hands run lightly across my back.
I tilt my head back and let him wander downward. Buttons are undone one at a time, each one reveals a little more for him to nip.
***
Donna is almost offering herself up to me.
Not that I don't worship her, because I do.
But if she's not ready, then I don't want to push her.
I settle for going slowly. Once the shirt is undone, I slide it off her shoulders and guide her back to the bed so we don't inadvertently bump the cradle and wake David.
Before I lie down next to her I shed my tshirt and shorts, careful to make sure I toss them on the floor. She's been fastidious about her exercises and her stomach is almost back to its prepregnancy flatness. Of course, she didn't have a whole lot of weight to lose
The adorable little outie of a belly button seems to be a permanent change, though, and I bend down to attend it while my hand caresses her hips. From her moans, I can tell Donna enjoys what I'm doing.
Her encouragement makes me feel more comfortable and my tentative touch becomes surer.
***
Josh seems to be getting over his nervousness and sets off exploring with his tongue. His thumbs skimming over my breasts however betray his remaining apprehension.
He doesn't want to touch them, but can't seem to help himself.
They aren't going to squirt you, I moan, pressing up to his touch.
They aren't mine any more, he whispers. His lips have wandered to my ear while his hands linger at the Wonder Twins.
Isn't David a little young for a set of his own? Shouldn't we tell him about the birds and the bees first? Maybe get him a set with training wheels or something? I tease, trying to get him to at least kiss around the nipples.
It's a powerful feeling when David nurses, but I feel it deep inside when Josh lavishes attention on them.
You're never too young for your first set, Donnatella, he replies, giving in and running his thumbs over my nipples until they tighten.
I gasp and sink into the mattress. Josh smirks against my neck and begins his trek downward again. He lips find every inch of my skin and his fingers trace my few, faint stretch marks, but he keeps himself out of my reach.
Relax, Donna, he chastises me with the dimples.
***
Her mouth, her full pouty lips beg to be kissed and I succumb to their allure.
Please, Josh. Donna asks, opening her eyes and reaching up to touch my chest.
Her fingers run over my scars and up to my ears, searching out the spot.
She grimaces a bit and I wait until her legs tighten around my waist, carefully watching her reaction.
I grind out, before repeating the movement.
She nods, but bites her lower lip.
Donna, if it hurts I trail off when she rocks her hips against mine.
I lean in to nibble a long expanse of alabaster neck.
***
I thought I was ready but in just seconds, I realize this is a mistake. I didn't understand how sore I still am.
I can feel how ready he is though, and let him continue out of a sense of obligation, even after he asks if I'm okay.
Biting down on my lip, I struggle to contain the moans of pain welling up inside me. Nothing he does feels good and I close my eyes, content to ache until he finishes.
***
Looking up from her neck, I see her eyes are closed again, but discomfort contorts her face, causing me to stop what I'm doing. My desire vanishes at the thought of causing her pain during our lovemaking.
She opens her eyes.
***
I can wait, baby, he whispers, stroking my cheek with his finger. If it hurts, we can wait.
Josh's gentle words bring tears to my eyes. I just
he lies down and pulls me to his chest. We'll just cuddle, okay? We'll kiss and we'll fool around, but no intercourse until you're really ready.
What about you? I wipe at my tears.
I'm sure you'll think of something, he answers, kissing the top of my head. Are you ready for bed?
We crawl under the covers and snuggle together. Just as I start to drift off, I can hear David fussing.
Get him for me? I whine, unwilling to get out of the warmth of our bed and walk all the way around.
Due to someone's poor planning skills, the cradle is on Josh's side of the bed.
Why me? he groans. And didn't you just do this?
First of all, you're closer. Secondly, babies can be hungry right after they eat, I inform him. Just get up, grab him and hand him to me.
Josh does as he's told and while David snacks again, Josh dozes lightly.
Why can't he just sleep with us? Josh asks suddenly when I start to get up.
No fooling around with the baby in the bed, though. I lay down the rule.
***
Donna snuggles David between us and I roll onto my side, facing them both and Donna does the same.
She's tired and falls asleep before long, leaving my son wideawake, staring at me.
Not that he can see me very well yet.
You had a big day today, didn't you? I ask him softly, smiling when he wraps his hand around my pinky finger and moves the whole ensemble toward his mouth.
He's a fistsucker, our David. Which is fine with me, since Donna is adamant there will be no pacifiers.
You got out of the hospital and visited the White House. The President thinks you're somebody pretty special, I keep up my monologue around my yawn. Not as special as I do, though.