Chapter Fifteen
As school went on I got more and more depressed. I took my last anti-depressant and then started taking Aspirin every day. They didn't work very well, they were kind of like a tranquilizer, I guess. Aspirin isn't made to help with depression though, and that was what I really needed help with.
I had stopped caring about everything. Life seemed kind of fuzzy; most days it was like I was watching myself go to school, come home, and not do my homework. I was failing all my classes. Darry screamed at me every day about it, I didn't care.
We got a letter from the state prison saying that Dally had been killed by a fellow inmate, I didn't care. I got another letter from Dally, he had written it a few days before he died. I got the letter from Dally on the same day we found out that he had died. I took the letter to my room and read it. It said:
Pony,
So, I've been a complete ass right? This guy swears that he's going to kill me in a few days. I hope he's right, I'm ready to die. Everything sucks. I don't know if you feel the same way, but in case you do, I sent you the ring. If you're feeling like life sucks and you're ready to die then put it on. It's kind of a tradition. If you're not then…I dunno, bury it or throw it away or something. I really don't care. Listen kid, I was just writing to say goodbye. Oh, and by the way, burn this when you're done reading it. I don't want your brothers to think I'm responsible for making you depressed or something.
I'll see you later or something, I guess.
Dally
I looked at the ring, turning it over in my hand. If it had been earlier, I wouldn't have even thought about putting the ring on. Now though, I was seriously considering it. I had been in school for over a month. I knew that it wouldn't get any better. Darry yelled at me every day about my grades, and I was sick of it. I sipped the ring on my finger. I felt kind of stupid but heck, it was a tradition.
Darry's POV
Pony isn't acting right.
He hasn't been doing his assignments in and out of school. I yell at him every day about it, but he doesn't seem to notice. I've asked him several times if everything is alright at school; he just says that everything is fine. He doesn't elaborate. I know that he's lying, but I can't get him to talk to me. He seems distant, even Soda can't talk to him. Lately the Aspirin has been disappearing from the bottle. Soda isn't taking it, and I only take one when I pull a muscle at work. I think that Pony has been taking them, but why?
We found out a few days ago that Dally was dead, when I told Pony he just said "Oh". Then he left the room. It was like he didn't even care. He spends most of his time lying on his bed staring at the ceiling. I can't help but think that maybe I should try to be understanding instead of yelling at him, but whenever he brings home another failing grade I just loose my temper. Pony is smart; he shouldn't be making these grades.
Ponyboy's teachers have been calling me, telling me that he's not participating in class and that he seems lethargic. His morning teachers have been complaining that he falls asleep during their classes. I'm afraid that he might try to kill himself, but he can't. He's out of the asylum, he's better; he's just having a hard time at school.
Maybe things will be better tomorrow.
Soda's POV
I'm worried about Pony.
Darry has been yelling at him. He's failing all his classes. Pony refuses to talk to either of us. He also hasn't been eating; we've even been making his favorite foods for dinner every night. At dinner, Pony just pushes the food around his plate with his fork. When we asked him why he wasn't eating Pony just said "I'm not hungry."
Darry made a chocolate cake last night; he was hoping that it would cheer Pony up. He'd been hiding out in our room, I thought that the smell of the cake would make him leave, but it didn't. When the cake was done I went back to our room. Pony was curled up on the bed. I sat down next to him; he had been crying; I could see tear stains on his face.
"Pony," I said softly. "Darry made a chocolate cake for you."
Ponyboy closed his eyes. "I don't feel too good Soda," Pony said. "I don't think I'm up to cake right now."
"But it's your favorite," I said.
"Soda…just…I'm not hungry, Ok," Pony replied.
"Pony, please," I begged. "You haven't eaten anything for several days. Just come and eat some of the cake."
Ponyboy got up and dragged himself into the kitchen. I could tell that he had to force himself to eat the cake. He had this look in his eyes the whole time, it took me a while to realize what it was, but when I finally recognized the look I felt so sorry for Pony. He had this pleading look in his eyes, like when babies really want you to hold them they get this look. That was what Pony looked like. After he had eaten the cake he went back to our room. I sat down on the bed next to him. I tried to talk to Pony, but he wouldn't respond. I tried to hold him, but he pushed me away.
"Just go away Soda," Pony said. "I'm fine."
Somehow the way he said it sounded like he was begging me to stay. I was going to keep sitting by him but then Darry called me into the kitchen.
"Yeah," I said once I got there.
"Did Pony not like the cake?" Darry asked.
"I don't think he likes anything anymore," I replied truthfully.
"I'm worried about him," Darry said.
"I am too," I replied.
I just hoped that Ponyboy would come back to reality, and that he wouldn't try to kill himself.