Lunch-
Oh my gosh. Okay, so I have NO CLUE what is going on, because I haven't seen Raya or Ja-Potter-oh, forget it, James since before lunch. Raya just ran off after Charms, with this big, silly smile on her face, to accost James. He'd better not hurt her, or I'll kill that backstabbing son of a-did I just say backstabbing? How would James turning Raya down be backstabbing? It'd actually be nice, that he'd just out and tell her that he doesn't like her instead of breaking her heart. Did I just say it would be nice if James rejected Raya? That wouldn't be nice. And I mean, what is there NOT to like about Raya? I mean, for starters, she's beautiful, what with her thick straight brown shoulder-length hair and big brown eyes. She's also smart, despite her occasional airheadedness (just kidding); she's almost as good as me in Potions and is definitely beating me soundly in Herbology and Astronomy. Don't get me wrong, I love astronomy, but what I love are the constellations and myths about the stars, not the mathematical relativities/whatever-the-heck-they-teach-in-that-class. Plus, Raya is popular. Although she's best friends with little loner Lily, she's good friends with almost everyone in Gryffindor house, along with Hufflepuff and even Ravenclaw. Why wouldn't James say yes to her?
And why do I feel such a pain saying that?
Ancient Runes-
Okay, so I didn't see Raya or James at lunch at all. So I'm sitting here in Ancient Runes, pretending to make a list with James about what we could do with this project. Of course, I'm not fooling anyone, least of all James, who actually knows what my diary looks like.
"Evans? Evans," James waves a hand in front of her face.
"Huh-what-who?" Lily asks as she comes out of her stupor. "What, Potter?" she attempts to snap.
"Look, I know how much you want to come to my bedroom tonight, but really, we have to get some work done in class," he attempts to joke, but stops at the look on Lily's face.
"Shut. Up." She looks down at James's half-dozen scribbled ideas.
James picks up on her agitation. "Lily." His use of her first name has her looking up. "What's eating you? You've been spacey all period. Well…more than usual, anyway."
She glares at him. "Nothing."
"Come on, you can tell me."
"Can I, Potter?"
"Lily!" James looks frustrated for a moment, but will not be provoked. "Okay, if you don't want to tell me, fine, but don't take whatever the hell is bugging you out on me."
Lily glares at him for a moment, but suddenly appears to crumple. Her cheeks are flushed; her eyes are shining. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't-I don't even know why I'm…I just…can't help it."
James's voice is soothing. "Lily, it's okay. Please don't get upset. I'm sure whatever it is will be fine."
"Thanks." Her voice is a little stronger. "Just tell me one thing."
"Anything."
"Did you talk to Raya at lunch?"
"What?" He's surprised. "Yeah, I did. Why?"
"What did you say to her?"
"What?"
"When she asked you out."
"Oh." He averts his eyes, looking slightly embarrassed. "Didn't she tell you?"
"I haven't seen her."
"Oh…well…I said yes. We're going out this Saturday on the Hogsmeade trip."
Mercifully the bell rings, and Lily grabs her things and runs out of the room.
Girls' bathroom/Free period-
I can't believe it. I love James Matthew Potter. I do. It's taken me ages, but I've finally figured it out, staring at the now tear-stained pages of my diary. It's so clear to me now. I love James. I love every little thing about him, right from his attitude when he's just pulled a prank on someone to the way he looks when he flies around the Quidditch field-purposeful, yet happy beyond words, and tranquil. I love the way his hair sticks up in the back; I love his hazel eyes; I even love the way he swishes his wand whenever he's trying out a spell for the first time. I love his bravado, his kindness, and his talent. But this all sucks, because it means I am in love with my best friend's boyfriend. And I would never, ever hurt Raya.
WHY COULDN'T I HAVE GIVEN THE GUY A CHANCE WHEN HE LIKED ME?