A/N: And on to the next chapter!
Harry was outside on the grounds, kicking his football around and trying to figure out his life. He was tired, but he didn't want to go to sleep. It would not be a good idea. He felt…different. He wasn't sure how. He hadn't changed, or at least he didn't think so. He felt dislocated, maybe? Off-center? He wasn't sure what it was, but it was not helping his situation. He kicked his football as it came back to him and tried to turn the entire matter around in his mind again. Voldemort was gone, right? These dreams weren't real, couldn't be real. Why was Harry upset? True, the one constant had gone out of his life by his hands. He had murdered him. There was no changing the facts. He was a murderer. Now what?
Tom had changed, or hadn't changed. Something. He was Tom, that was true, but he wasn't. He acted like nothing had happened to anyone he knew. He acted like he didn't know that Harry had gone back to Hogwarts, had been kidnapped, addicted to the Mind's Snare, taken by the Ministry and murdered the Dark Lord. True, he said that he was proud of Harry and asked him about his nightmares, but Harry was not sure how Tom was different, just that he was. Or perhaps only Harry had changed? Something. Harry scowled and kicked the ball again. He hated this feeling. This feeling of not knowing what was going on. He looked up as he heard tapping on the window. Tom pointed to his watch. Harry knew what that meant. It was time to eat. Again. He felt like that was all he did. He didn't really feel like eating. He was never hungry anymore and slightly nauseous, as though his stomach would rebel for anything he put there. How could he get out of this meal?
He walked in the door to find Tom waiting for him. "Hi, Tom!" he said cheerfully. No need to worry the man with his macabre thoughts. He was worried enough as it was. If he told Tom that he felt sick, the man was apt to put him to bed and hover over him. That used to feel nice and welcome when Harry had first come here to live. Now, he couldn't stand the feeling at all, or anyone touching him without his consent. That just brought back the hands and the wizards over him, forcing a potion down his throat that he had begged for, but only in his mind. Harry was brought up short by Tom sneering at him.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded. "You don't belong here." He told Harry. What in the world?
"Tom? What are you talking about?" Harry asked, one hand flying up to hold the necklace that he still wore. Cherished one. That's what Tom had said. He was his son! The man had adopted him.
"I thought I was rid of you." Tom opened the door and pushed Harry out of it.
"What? Tom, what are you talking about? What happened?" Tom pushed him again and Harry allowed it. He didn't want to disobey, but he didn't understand what had happened to make Tom hate him so much in such a short amount of time. A minute couldn't have passed in the time it took for Harry to respond to Tom's signal and walk through the door. "Why are you doing this?" Tom seemed set on escorting Harry off the grounds, because he took a firm grip on Harry's arm and proceeded to drag Harry down the path to the gates. "Tom, you're hurting me." He told the man, but his comment was not acknowledged. "Ow!" Tom tugged him harder. "Tom? I don't understand. Why are you doing this? Tom, you're scaring me." He hoped that he could break through whatever was making Tom do this. "Dad!" Tom froze at that name and looked at Harry with a glare that would have frightened Professor Snape.
"You do not deserve to call me that!" He yelled. He did something then that Harry had thought he would never do. Tom hit him. The blow was enough to make Harry fall to his knees, mostly from shock. "You are not my son!" Harry heard him say in the next instant. Tom used the time wisely when he found that Harry had lost all thought of resistance. The man pushed him out of the gates and locked them. Harry shook his head to clear it and called after the man.
"Dad? What happened? What did I do?" Harry's questions were not answered at all. "I'm sorry for whatever it is, but what did I do?" Harry clung to the bars, trying to open them, but his magic was working for some reason and the gates would not open. "What did I do?" He asked quietly, crying now, but he didn't care. His hand fumbled with his shirt as it sought out the necklace. Cherished one. That's what Tom had said. What had happened? Why? Harry couldn't find his necklace. He looked around on the ground near his feet, still trying to stop his tears and figure out what had happened.
"Looking for something?" Harry froze at the disturbingly familiar voice and slowly looked up. Voldemort, in all his reptilian glory, stood in front of him. His held Harry's necklace in his right hand. "Oh, is poor little Potter all alone again?" He asked. The scary thing was not what he said, but how he said it. It sounded genuine. "Everyone has forgotten you." He said, coming over to Harry. He reached down and pulled Harry to his feet with one hand. Harry was still weak, though he figured it was because of the emotions still running through him. Voldemort didn't comment on the fact that Harry was crying. Harry leaned back against the gate and shook his head to deny Voldemort's last statement. "You have served your purpose, did what you had to do, and now everyone has gone back to their previous lives. Who needs you now?" Voldemort asked. "Everyone has forgotten you." He said again. Harry shook his head again. He didn't want to believe it. He couldn't believe it. "Everyone except me." Voldemort said, tilting Harry's head up to face him. Harry met the man's eyes. He saw sincerity there, a state that he was sure Voldemort had never managed in his life before. Voldemort held up the necklace. Cherished one.
Harry held onto the bars behind him. What was wrong with this picture? What had happened? He let his head drop again, his tears still falling into the dust on the road. Voldemort nudged his head up just a bit and reached around his neck with both arms. "You belong to the darkness, child." Voldemort told Harry as he clasped the necklace around his neck. Harry felt the charm settle into the hollow of his throat. The metal pulsed against his skin. "My cherished dark child." Voldemort said with reverence in his voice. Harry reached up to the necklace and held it, as it felt like that only solid thing in his world that was crumbling around him. "Why don't we remove the one who hurt you, Harry?" Voldemort gestured and Tom appeared in front of them as though he had been summoned. "Won't that be nice?" Harry stared as Tom noticed him and glared. Voldemort pulled Harry away from the gate and supported him until Harry managed to find his feet beneath him. "Just like I taught you." Voldemort's wand appeared in his hand and he presented it to Harry handle first. A sign of trust. Harry picked up the wand and stared at it.
Voldemort stepped behind him and positioned Harry's legs for a firm stance. He reached down and took Harry's right hand in his own and helped him raise it. "Lock your arm. Very good." Voldemort reassured him. "You remember the incantation?" he asked. Harry nodded the slightest bit, staring at Tom on the other side of the wand. "Remember, Potter. There is no good and evil, there is only power, and those too weak to seek it. The darkness offers its power to you. Take it, cherished one." Harry stared at the wand in his hand and the person it was pointed at. "Repeat after me: Avada Kedavra." Voldemort whispered in his ear, a firm hand on his shoulder and the other helping to support the wand.
"Dad?" Harry asked. Tom's face twisted and he snarled at Harry.
"You are not my son!" Harry's eyes closed of their own will against Tom's hatred and he said the incantation. Voldemort pulled Harry back against him and held him.
"Very good, Harry. Very good. You are powerful. You belong to the darkness." Voldemort reached down a hand and smoothed back Harry's hair like Tom used to. "You belong to me."
Harry knew that Voldemort was holding him, but he didn't care. "No." He whispered in response to Voldemort's last statement. He was crying again, but he still didn't care. Voldemort released him and Harry sank to the ground, staring at the lifeless body before him. The wand fell from his nerveless fingers. "Power." He whispered, staring at his hands. Blood materialized in front of his eyes, soaking his robes, choking his air. He did the only thing he could at the situation. He screamed.
Tom leapt to his feet at Harry's scream. It was as though a raw human emotion was given a voice. He wasn't sure what it was…anguish? Fear? He didn't know. He felt the house shake around him as he ran up the stairs. How was that happening? His brain tried to make sense of what his senses were telling him, but he was too concerned with getting to Harry to care about what was going on around him. He reached the bed and tried to wake the boy. He didn't notice Matthew with him, but he didn't care where the man was at the moment. "Harry!" Tom said, grabbing hold of Harry and shaking him. Tom was pushed aside in the next instant and Matthew threw an entire glass of water into Harry's face.
Harry's eyes flew open, but Matthew did not see awareness in them. He reached out and lightly slapped Harry's cheek. It was nothing more than a tap, but it was enough to bring Harry around. He blinked and his eyes focused the best they could on Tom. "Dad?" He asked and Matthew heard the doubt in his voice. Harry's hands clenched and unclenched as though he needed something, but wasn't sure how to ask for it. Tom gave Harry his glasses and smiled.
"I'm right here son." Tom said. Matthew left the room and went downstairs to the potions lab to find where Tom kept the family potions. He selected two different vials and turned to go back upstairs.
"Dad?" It wasn't true, was it? His dad was here, but he wasn't here? Was he alive? Dead? Was this just a dream? What was going on? Why was he shaking? And crying? What had happened?
"I'm right here, son." Harry looked at the man in front of him. It looked like his dad, that was true, but was it him? How had he become so confused? Strong arms lifted him from the bed and held him against warm body. This wasn't one of his dreams; this was real. He wrapped his arms around his dad and clutched his father's shirt in his hands. He rested his head against the man's shoulder. The arms wrapped around him and held him, rocking him slightly back and forth. "It's okay. It's going to be okay." Tom's voice said in his ear. Harry buried his face in the man's shoulder and sobbed. It was never going to be okay.
Matthew reentered the room to find Harry starting to hyperventilate. He saw Tom's unspoken plea for help. Harry would probably hate them, but they needed to calm him now. Matthew stepped forward and called Harry's name. He didn't respond. "Harry!" Nothing. He looked to Tom for permission, holding up the calming draught. Tom nodded, trying to calm Harry the best he could. Tom repositioned him and Matthew took Harry's head and tilted it back. Harry reacted at that. Matthew dodged his kick and Tom held Harry's arms close to his body. His fight didn't last long. Matthew suspected that he didn't have the strength for it while he poured the potion down Harry's throat and held Harry's head back. He put his hand over Harry's mouth to tell the boy that he would not be able to spit it out. Harry held on a few seconds before reflex made him swallow. He released him and backed up a bit, allowing Tom to hug Harry to him again. He waited until he saw the potion effects and stood where Harry could see him.
"I'm sorry that I had to do that, Harry." He was willing to be the bad guy in this. "We needed to calm you down because you were hyperventilating. That would have made you sick. Do you understand why I did what I did?" He asked. Green eyes looked up at him for a minute before nodding. "Good." He reached out and took Harry's pulse, which Harry permitted. He held onto Tom and buried his face against Tom again. Matthew frowned. The pulse was still a little fast, but not too bad. More like a fever. "Harry, will you look at me, please?" Harry raised his head slowly. Matthew looked at his eyes and felt his forehead. "You're not feeling well, are you?" Matthew asked. Harry shrugged, putting his head down again. "Just tired?" Harry nodded. "Okay." Matthew went back to the bedside table and picked up the other vial. "Will you sit up and take this for me?" He asked. Harry recognized the potion and shook his head.
Harry hated the vial that Matthew held out. He knew what it was and he didn't want to get addicted to another potion. He could still feel the hands on him from the last potion Matthew had shoved down his throat. Yes, he understood why Matthew had done what he had done, but that didn't mean he liked it. "Harry?" Harry met Matthew's eyes again. "I'm your doctor, and I am trained to administer medicine when it is needed and know the effects of it. You can believe me when I say that this will just cause you to sleep and you will wake up in the morning without any nightmares or dreams to disturb you." Matthew decided that sticking to Muggle terms, the ones with which Harry had grown up, would help Harry understand.
Harry just eyed the vial. "Will you trust me to do my job?" He asked. Harry leaned onto his father and nodded. Matthew smiled and uncorked the vial. He held it out to Harry. Harry reached out and took it from Matthew. His hands were still shaking. His father supported his hand and took the vial away when Harry had finished the dose. "Thank you, Harry." Matthew said, disappearing through the door.
"Let's get you into some pajamas, okay?" Harry nodded and watched as Tom summoned Harry's favorites to him. Harry was fuzzy. He knew what was going on, and could follow Tom's directions, but nothing more than that. Tom rearranged the blankets, fluffed the pillows and laid Harry back against them. "There you go." Tom pulled the blankets over Harry and smoothed back the teen's hair. Harry was fighting against the potion. Tom smiled and turned to leave until a hand reached out and touched his hand.
"Dad? Stay?" Harry's words were slurred, but Tom knew what he meant.
"I would like that more than anything." He perched on the side of the bed and held Harry's hand. The teen smiled and allowed his eyes to close. Tom sat there, just watching Harry sleep for quite a while before he released Harry's hand and left to return to Matthew.
Matthew was sitting in his favorite chair, facing the fireplace. His eyes were nearly closed. Harry called it his thinking pose, and it was an apt description at this moment. He looked up when Tom entered the room and sat in his own chair. "You're not going to like what I have to say." He told his friend as Tom ordered a strong cup of coffee from Nellie. "In fact, you will probably order me from your house." Matthew said, standing and going over to the fireplace and leaning on the mantel.
"What do you have to say, Matthew?" Tom asked, sipping his coffee. "It can't be as bad as you're making it out to be." He said, trying to soothe his friend's nerves. Matthew did not turn around to speak.
"We have both done Harry a great disservice." He told Tom. "We have been neglecting his health." Tom's eyebrows climbed up his forehead, but he remained silent. He wanted Matthew to elaborate. "Have you spoken with him about what has happened?" Tom smiled a bit and put his coffee down on the table.
"It depends on what you mean by 'what has happened'." Tom paused. "I've told him that if he wants to talk, I am available, and that I am willing to listen." Matthew shook his head and picked up a Muggle photograph of Harry in his football uniform.
"That's not what I meant." Matthew put down the picture and turned to face Tom. "Have you stopped to think about what that boy has been through?" Tom sat back in his chair and sighed.
"He seems fine, aside from those dreams." Matthew returned to his own chair and turned to face Tom. He leaned forward on his knees and shook his head.
"He's not. I think he is not fine at all." Matthew told Tom. "He has been dealing with so many things, and mostly on his own." Tom glared at him.
"I am here for my son and whatever he needs." Tom told him. Matthew held out a hand to show that he had not meant to upset Tom.
"I know. Just…let me outline the situation for you?" Tom gestured that he could and stirred more sugar into his drink. "We kidnapped him and that had great intentions. After a while, he came to trust us and our judgment, so long as we explained our decisions. The minute we stopped explaining, he shut down. Do you remember when Professor Snape found him here? His reactions?" Tom nodded. He remembered that day well. He had never been so afraid for Harry until the Voldemort thing. "Then we send him back to Hogwarts and tell him to live under lies for months. We weren't there to pick him up from the train station when we said we would be and he was kidnapped because of it. Then, he was addicted to the Mind's Snare. A few days after he comes home, he's taken away by the Ministry while you go on trial. Let's not forget the whole Voldemort incident. Now, something's happening to him. Thatshakingwas not the result of some fault linenear here. That was Harry's magic. He may be losing control of it."Matthew stopped and looked Tom in the eyes, his face growing grave. "Do you understand what I am trying to say?" He asked Tom slowly.
"He hasn't talked about what any of that made him feel. None of it." Tom said, just starting to realize what Matthew was trying to say.
"Exactly. Now, these feelings are starting to manifest in his dreams, his sleeping habits, and his eating habits." Matthew pointed out. He stood and faced the window. "Harry has been operating exactly like he used to when he lived with the Dursleys. He has gone into survival mode and now he can't relax out of it. He's hurting Tom, and no one has realized it." Tom covered his face with his hands. "Don't blame yourself. You've had a lot on your plate recently too." Matthew said, returning to Tom.
"How do I fix it? How do I get him to open up?" Tom asked. Matthew smiled a bit and sat back.
"It's going to take a lot of work. He'll most likely hate you for it." Matthew gave a little evil grin. "In fact, he'll loathe you. He doesn't like giving up control." Tom nodded and motioned for Matthew to continue. "We are going to smother him. It's going to be you, while he'll have an appointment with me, oh, twice a week sounds sufficient." Tom nodded his understanding.
"So, what do we do? How do we smother him?" He asked.
"Write to Dumbledore and request that Harry take his examinations now. Do not send him back to school. He'll withdraw even more around his friends. He learned early on that there were just some things one did not tell one's friends." Matthew pulled out his notebook again and made a list. "You and he will be spending massive amounts of time together. During this time, do not involve him in any decision making. Plan things to do with him, things that the Dursleys denied, day trips or a vacation. Allow him two choices, either the zoo or a museum, but nothing more than that. You want to give him some form of control, but not all of it."
"What else?" Tom asked.
"Hmm. Wake him in the mornings and put him to bed in the evening. Allow him to pick out his own clothes, but not his activities. Keep him around you. Sooner or later, he'll start to open up. Give him new experiences. Even a vacation to the continent. Just keep him away from wizards and their expectations. Allow him to be Harry."
"What happens if he rebels? Fights with me?" Matthew smiled.
"Then listen. He'll at least be telling you something. Then, negotiate. If he tells you that he wants to be alone, ask why. Then, negotiate with him, so that he gets so alone time, but not long enough to be out of your sight more than necessary." Matthew paused and looked at Tom. "I'm going to warn you now, Tom, that this will be very draining on you. Don't hesitate to contact me if you need some time to yourself. I can amuse the kid and keep him from figuring out that this is all a plot." Matthew looked at Tom. "Do you think that you can handle it?" Matthew asked.
"I will do anything that my son needs, for as long as he needs it." Tom said.
"Oh, good." Matthew said. "The dose of Dreamless Sleep I gave him will keep him out until tomorrow morning." Matthew told Tom. "It'll give us time to practice some techniques you're going to need with him. Stability and constancy is what he needs and it is up to you to do it." Tom led Matthew into his private study and told Nellie to watch over Harry. Harry would not find any notes they made here.
"Harry." Harry grimaced as a hand shook his shoulder. "It's time to get up, son." Harry waved away the voice and burrowed deeper into his blankets. "Harry. Get up." Who was that and why were they trying to wake him up? Oh, it was Da-, er, Tom. "Harry."
"What?" Harry snapped, burying his head under his pillow. He didn't want to get up. He just wanted to sleep. A firm hand shook him again. "Go away." He ordered, pulling his blankets around him in an effort to hang onto his sleep.
"You need to get up. You have a busy day." No, that wasn't right. He had no plans at all today. Maybe dodge Nellie, work on some homework, something like that. Harry ignored him and burrowed deeper into the blankets. He was the Boy Who Lived. Time to cash in on that. He jerked as the blankets were ripped from his bed.
"Gah!" He tried to pull the blankets back, but Tom held them too far away. "I just want to sleep. Is that too much to ask?" He whined as he tried to preserve the warmth on his bed.
"You've been asleep for quite a while. You need to get up now. I'm giving you twenty minutes. If you're not up by then, I'm coming back up here." Tom said, rubbing Harry's back. He poked Harry in the side, causing Harry to shift away. He tickled Harry's ribs which made Harry giggle and roll over. Tom grinned and tickled Harry again.
"Okay! Okay! I'm up! I swear I'm up!" Harry rolled off his bed and onto his feet.
"There's that smile I haven't seen in a while." Tom aid fondly. He ruffled Harry's hair and then pushed him towards the shower. "I'll see you at breakfast." Harry mumbled something and closed the door to his bathroom. Tom heard the shower start a second later. He smiled and went down to the dining room.
Matthew was sitting at the table, but obviously asleep. Tom nudged him, which caused Matthew's head to fall from his hand, effectively waking him up. Matthew opened his eyes and glared at Tom. "Why was I cursed with an early bird as a friend?" He muttered. "And why hasn't coffee been put in front of me?" He whined.
"You and Harry are so much alike, it's frightening." Tom told him. Matthew brightened just a bit and smiled.
"How did the kid take being woken up?" Matthew asked.
"I thought he was going to attack me when I took his blankets." Tom said. "I could see him decide to be stubborn, so I tickled him." Matthew smiled as coffee appeared in front of him.
"That sounds great." Matthew said, nursing his cup. "Nicely done. Just remember to be firm." Tom nodded and patted his breast pocket.
"I've got your suggestions all right here." He held up a hand as he heard Harry's door shut. "Here he comes." Harry came down the stairs as a rather sluggish pace. Tom smiled at Matthew's face.
"Grumpy teenager at twelve o'clock." He mumbled. Harry came into the dining room just a second later.
"Matthew!" he said happily. Matthew stood just in time to catch Harry. "When did you get here/" He asked.
"Yesterday afternoon. You had a dream that I helped with and you slept through the night. I'm not surprised that you don't remember me being here." Harry nodded. "You look tired still. Are you?" He asked, taking hold of Harry's chin and looking into his face.
"Just a little." Harry admitted honestly. "Some morning person woke me up this morning." He told Matthew while gesturing to his father. Tom just smiled at his son and gestured for him to sit down. Harry did as he was told and put his napkin in his lap. Breakfast appeared before them in true Nellie fashion and Harry almost groaned. "Oh, no way." He said to himself.
"I do hope that you are hungry. You haven't been eating enough lately, and I made sure that Nellie gave you some light food this morning. That does not exempt you from eating." Harry blinked a few times before looking at Tom.
"What?" He asked.
"I'm expecting you to eat that entire bowl of cereal, your eggs, and your toast. We will not leave this table until you do so." Harry frowned.
"I'm not really hungry." He told Tom, pushing his cereal around.
"That doesn't matter. You did not eat much at lunch yesterday, and you missed dinner. Your body needs it, even if you don't think that you do need it. So eat up." Harry sighed and looked like he wanted to argue, but refrained when he saw Tom's face. Matthew nodded slightly, letting him know that he approved and that Tom had used the tactic or order/reason well. Tom nodded back to Matthew, checked on Harry's progress and went to his own breakfast. He would do what Harry needed, even if it made the boy angry. It was the only way to help his son.
A/N: There you guys go. Ten pages for you. Let me know what you think. The sequel will start soon!