"Welcome to 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?' both of you."
"Hi."
"So, Samantha, Jack. Tell us a little about yourselves. When did you two meet?"
"Well, it was about 4 or 5 years ago, erm, we got put on the same team, and erm, incidentally, it's Sam."
"Sorry?"
"My name. It's Sam." host frowns
"O…K…" Jack glares at him. He shuts up "So, anyway, your first question. What is the name of the metal worn by horses on their hooves? Is it A: horseshoes, B: horseboots, C: horsesandals or D: horsewellies?"
"A: horseshoes." Sam answers. Jack stays silent
"Correct, you win £100. Next question, for £200. In which winter sport did Torvil and Dean win Olympic medals? Was it A: bobslighing, B: ice skating, C: ski jumping or D: curling?"
"B: ice skating." Host gives Jack a funny look – he hasn't said anything yet
"Correct. For £300, what kind of garment is a 'poncho'? Is it A: a boot, B: a hat, C: a belt or D: a cloak?"
"D. It's a cloak." Jack smiles at the host
"Erm, Jack, do you agree?"
"Yup."
"So that's your final answer?"
"Yup."
"OK, well, erm, it's right. So, for £500, what is the name of the music and poetry festivals held in Wales? Is it A: promenades, B: carnivals, C: olympids or D: Eisteddfods?"
"D." host looks nervy
"Are you sure?"
"Yup."
"Erm, ok. Well, erm, right again. Now, for £1000. The slogan '57 varieties' is associated with which company? Is it A: Ford, B: Nestle, C: Heinz or D: Cadbury?" Sam rolls her eyes, Jack grins
"C, Heinz."
"Is that you final answer?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Very sure?" Jack glares at him "OK, you're sure. Well, you're right! You've won £1000. Whatever happens you go home with at least that. Congratulations!"
dramatic lights and music
"So, what do you like doing in your spare time then?"
"Fishing."
"Fixing my motorbike."
"At the same time?"
"Usually."
"Don't you spend time together when you're not at work?"
"No, we work together."
"Oh, an office couple." they glance at each other
"Erm, not exactly, no. We-"
"Does your boss know?" host is getting quite excited at the possibility
"Erm, wouldn't it be a bit stupid to come on national television if he didn't?" host shrugs
"So what's your boss's name then?"
"General George Hammond. He's over there in the audience with Cassie." Cassie waves madly
"Right… Is Cassie his granddaughter?"
"No."
"Right, ok… So, anyway, back to the questions!"
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"OK, for £2000, which building, famous for its maze, is on the north bank of the Thames in London? Is it A: Sandringham, B: Hampton Court, C: Balmoral or D: Clarance House?"
"B, Hampton Court."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"So that's your final answer?"
"Yes."
"OK, well, good choice, you just won £2000! Next question, for £4000, which Gilbert and Sullivan work is set in Venice? Is it A: Ruddigore, B: The Gondoliers, C: the Mikado or D: Iolanthe?"
"Has to be B, the Gondoliers."
"Why?"
"Other than I know it is"?
"What about you, Jack?"
"If Sam says it is, it is."
"Well, I can see who is wearing the trousers in this relationship."
"Erm, we both are."
"No, I meant— never mind. So, is that your final answer?"
"Yep."
"Alright then. You win £4000! Next question, for £8000, which type of jacket is named after a New York country club? Is it A: Bolero, B: Oilskin, C: Windsheater or D: Tuxedo?"
"As tempted as I am to just get this wrong and go home, the answer is Tuxedo, D."
"Is that your final answer?"
"For cryin' out loud! Would she have said it if it wasn't?"
"OK, OK. So you're sure?" Jack glares. If looks could kill, we'd be minus a host about now "Erm, yes, you are. So, right again! Now, for £16,000, in which month does the grouse-shooting season begin? Is it A: July, B: August, C: September or D: October?" Sam sighs, Jack is still grinning
"Everyone knows this… B, August. And if you ask me if I'm sure, I'll shoot you."
"Oh, so I'd say you're sure then?" Sam glares menacingly "OK, OK! Well, you're right, anyway. Now, for £32,000, which chemical element has the atomic number 1? Is it A: helium, B: neon, C: hydrogen or D: nitrogen?"
"Are these questions supposed to be hard? I reckon even Cassie knows this." Cassie jumps up and down in her seat
"I do, I do!" Host's face lights up
"Why don't you phone her and ask her then?"
"Because I know the answer too! Grief… It's obviously C, Hydrogen." Host looks disappointed
"Oh. Well done. You're now going to go home with at least £32,000. Hooray for you."
"So, is being in the airforce fun?"
"We fight for a living. There's shooting, there's blood, there's death. People die. It's a blast."
"It sounds that way." pales at the thought "So, erm, fancy telling us anything else about your lives, since I seem to have run out of questions?"
"Not really. If we take too long we'll take up the entire show, and no-one else will get a chance to win any money then."
"Erm, that's the idea..."
"We noticed. Look, can we just have the next question please?"
"If you insist…"