A/n: Huge big thank you's to everyone that took the time to review the last chapter, you comments always make me smile and I am glad that most of you took a liking to Mother Dumbledore. I feel very sorry for the boys in this chapter, as I am sure you will as well. This chapter hasnt been beta read so once again, I'll say sorry for the simple mistakes I missed when I read through it.

Chapter Eight: The Talk!

Albus looked at his brothers horrified face and couldn't help but think that the same look was etched over his own face. How old did their mother think they were? They certainly didn't need a talk about the birds and the bees when they were old enough to know all about it and even know more than their mother. It had been embarrassing enough when their father had sat them down many years ago when they were teenagers and explained the changed they were going to go through and what was expected of them. Their father had been brief and straight to the point, it had left the boys with a few unanswered questions which soon got answered when they went back to school and mixed with their friends who had discovered girls that summer.

"Mother," began Albus "I don't think that this is necessary!"

"Nonsense," she scolded "I don't know what your late father told you but knocking young ladies over and telling them about goats is not acceptable."

"We both know that," continued Albus "don't we Abe!"

Aberforth nodded his head; he wanted to be anywhere but here and was glad that Albus was trying to get them out of having their mother talk to them. Albus had been hoping for more back up from his brother but looking out the corner of his eye, Albus knew from the dazed expression he had on his face that he would be no help what so ever.

"It is obvious to me that you don't!" countered Genevieve Dumbledore "I had such high hopes for you both and here I am, grandchild less. You need a helping hand and this is when mothers come in and take over the reins. You might be embarrassed but I don't care, I am not having my sons making fools of themselves!"

Albus knew that his mother wanted grandchildren; she had been on at him about them since he had turned thirty. She deemed that thirty was the ideal age to settle down and think about starting a family, that what she had done with their father and that was what she expected from her sons. Albus was fast approaching the age of hundred and Aberforth was not far behind him, there was not a grandchild in sight which he knew upset her greatly.

Albus did want his own children but he wanted them with someone he truly loved and adored, he knew that his mother and father had settled for another and that was not something he wanted to do. Aberforth had never expressed the wish to have children, as far as he was concerned goats were better company and much less work so Albus had felt most of the pressure had been on him to have children and settle down. The only trouble was his work; he was deputy headmaster and transfiguration professor at Hogwarts and was also fighting against the dark magic that was threatening to take over their word. He wasn't sure that he could pay enough attention to the witch who shared his life and would he be able to protect her from his enemies and his day job at the school, didn't give him a chance to go out and mix with potential love interests. He hadn't really be bothered before, there were times when he felt lonely but he had leaned to deal with that by talking to Fawkes and finding things to fill up his life. It was only yesterday when he had bumped into that witch and already she had turned his world upside down, he didn't even know her name or where she came from and that made the situation he found himself in, insane. He was usually a sensible man, slightly eccentric but had his head screwed on tightly unlike his brother who had a few loose screws.

"Albus," he heard his mother say, "Are you listening to me?"

"What were you saying mother?" he asked, he sat back in his chair and resigned himself to the fact that he would be here for a very long time.

"You need to listen to a woman Albus," she told him "if you have any hope in understanding how we work. What in name of Merlin, made you think that knocking that poor woman over would have a positive effect"

"I didn't knock her over so she would notice me," he defended himself "it was an accident and I think it was as much her fault as it was mine!"

Albus heard his brother snigger beside him and Albus' found himself clutching his wand in his right hand, preparing to hex him if he made a joke at his expense.

"Tell me," she begged "that you were at least gentlemanly towards her afterwards!"

"I was the perfect gentleman," he replied, "though according to her, I wasn't!"

Genevieve Dumbledore looked at her eldest son and shook her head; she couldn't believe that someone would find her son anything less than gentlemanly. She had always been convinced that he was quite a catch and had told all her friends so; the fact that all her friends' sons were married with children now was slightly uncomfortable for her. Though she had proudly showed off his picture as the second most eligible bachelor in a recent addition of The Daily Prophet.

"Tell me," she asked "what makes you think you can win her over?"

"She gave me a book!" he answered, "I am also sure I made her smile, though she would deny it."

Genevieve smiled and nodded her head, she knew exactly what this witch was up to and she would have to coach her son on how to get his witch.

"She is playing hard to get," revealed Genevieve "wants to make you work for her affection!"

Albus frowned, he didn't have the heart to tell his mother that she was wrong and that the witch he knew was not playing hard to get. From what he could tell, the pretty dark haired witch was annoyed with him and thought him to be rather arrogant. He was planning to show her that he was not arrogant at all, he was going to try and get into her good books and see where it got him.

"You need to ignore her," explained Genevieve who was clearly in her element "make her think that you are not interested in her and she will come running!"

"Mother," began Albus "I don't think that will work!"

"Trust me," she replied, "I am your mother and a woman, and I know these things! Once you have her attention, you can charm her. Wine and dine her, flash her that famous smile and she will be yours."

Albus expected that his unnamed witch wouldn't really care if he ignored her or not, she would probably be relieved or think him rude and that was not something he wanted her to think of him as. Albus knew that the infamous Dumbledore smile wouldn't work either; it would probably earn him a few hexes.

"You will then pop the question," continued Genevieve, who seemed to be in her own little world "she will say yes and then you will marry which brings me around to the wedding night!"

"MOTHER!" warned Albus and Aberforth in unison.

"We don't need you go any further!" continued Albus "We are grateful but we don't need to hear it."

"No need to be embarrassed Albus," she said looking at him "your first time when be nerve wracking, all hurried and neither of you knowing really what to do!"

'Oh Merlin!' thought Albus to himself, this conversation could not be happening. Any moment, he would be woken up by the soft trill of his phoenix and realised that it had been a dream. When no soft trilling came, Albus had to finally accept that he was not dreaming and that he had turned an exceptional shade of red. He couldn't inform his mother that he felt sure he knew what he was when it came to wedding night because he had been practicing, that would destroy her as much as if he had told her, he didn't like women.

"I remember your father," she continued "his hands were all over the place."

"On that note," said Albus standing up "I need to be heading back, work calls."

"Oh bye my darling," said Genevieve standing up and hugging him "remember what I told you, ignore and it will all fall into place."

Albus politely nodded and hugged his mother back, he saw Aberforth stand up and make for the door.

"Aberforth," said their mother, "where do you think you are going?"

"I need to feed the goats!" came his mumbled reply

"I don't think so," she said as she pointed to the chair he had been sitting in "sit, I haven't even started on you yet. Goats!"

Albus chuckled to himself as he left his brother to the mercy of his mother and made his way back to the mountains of paper work on his desk at Hogwarts that awaited his return.

To Be Continued….