Last Edited16.12.o5
Written: 28.o3.o5
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, but by now…you should know that I do own this story. Please don't steal these ideas because they are precious to me, for I have put my own saying and feeling to every word I write in this chapter…and some of the events in these stories are based on (some part) of my life. © Flipstahhz
(a/n)
Okay. I'm glad that this story has hit it off. (or I could have just simply said started…shrugs) This section is mainly from Sora's perspective after elementary school. What happened. What didn't happen. And so forth. So hmm…just ignore what I said in the previous chapter about what was occurring in this chapter. This chapter will also probably be filled in with the separation of high schools and what it was like to be in an "all girls school" and the circumstances you must face. It also may be confusing with all the flashbacks. But this part of the story is fragments of memories, right? So I did warn. ( This chapter will be a dragggggggg considering all these themes I am going to abide by) Meet you at the end of the chapter!
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Do You Still Think of Me?
PART ONE – Fragments of memories
Chapter Two
By Flipstahhz
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( f l a s h b a c k)
December 2000/
The wind slyly lifted leaves shaded vibrant fiery oranges and browns, into the air then release and let them float back down to the ground. Two figures lay on the long thin strands of green grass, their minds tangled up towards the clouds up high, that slowly drifted.
There were meant to be four figures, at that certain time, since the group had decided to meet up after a week in graduating from elementary - but only two figures had managed to turn up. Considering one had his schedule full with soccer training and the other was occupied in shopping with her mother, supposedly looking for a pair of pink sandals.
" Can't believe it's been a week from our last day of school. It's all over…but now… we got high school to face," he yawned, carelessly avoiding the streaks of sandy blond hair falling over his eyes. He had a languid structure that was pertinent to the calm serene surrounding.
The female figure turned sideways to stare at her companion, " Yeah…too bad Tai and Mimi ain't here to even talk about it. We're on holidays and still they're busy."
"Hmm," Yamato Ishida agreed and continued to gaze at the clouds, " I still don't even know what I want to be when I'm older. Right now, it feels as if the only reason I'm alive is to protect TK. But now…he's grown. I – I don't understand…everything's made sense, but now…it's all confusing."
" Life is confusing," Sora hated talking in doubt. Doubt was usually negative. She liked to stick to being positive instead.
At their age they would probably be excited about entering a new stage of their lives. High school was about escaping childhood and facing a completely new atmosphere. Though, that was probably why they connected in a strange way. They weren't fully innocent since they knew the reality of some situations the world could have. Sora had only been brought up without her father. And Yamato was occasionally facing all the angst whenever his parents fought. They knew that life didn't carry happiness all the time…and it confused these children dearly.
" When six years passes by, as quickly as primary school, we'd probably have a more better goal…so we've got a lot of time to think about what we want to do…" Sora sighed.
"Since you're so confidant…what is your future career?" he snapped - though he didn't really mean to question her in such an abrupt way – turning his body towards Sora, azure eyes orbing into her's making the girl feel slightly uncomfortable with him.
She responded with a shrug, " Something to do with fashion perhaps…maybe a clothes designer…what?!"
Yamato leered at her in a weird way, then cracked up laughing.
"What! Tell me Matt!" Sora repeated in annoyance, wishing that his smiled and amusement would wipe off his face. Her eyebrows knitted, she was certain it had to do with something she had said that made it hilarious to her friend. " What! I know what I want to be is really farfetched and all –"
"No offence…but it's just weird," Matt laughed, staring at the clothing she was wearing (a plane red shirt and denim shorts) and at her as a person. He had known her for a while, and he'd never expect 'Sora' to say something like that…if it was Mimi…sure… but Sora!
"Gee…thanks for the compliment," she arched an eyebrow. " But it won't happen either way. I'm probably just going to stick with a practical job…because what I told you is what I want to do…not what I will be my future career. Dreams like this never work out. Especially when there's nothing to believe in…"
" But it could happen if you believed…"
" You're too much of a dreamer. Dreamers don't get anywhere. They're too scared to face reality," she frowned, she was a hypocrite, yet she spoke skeptically. But she was certain that being a dreamer was something she had to get out of her system. " My turn to ask… what do you want to be?"
" A rock star," he smirked with attitude but received a look, " Fine. Like what you said something to do with fashion –."
"What!" Sora repeated the word for the forth time as she began to shake him, " Something to do with fashion…are you kidding me? And you accused that me being a fashion designer would be weird!"
" You didn't let me finish what I was about to say, " it was Matt's turn to give her a look, but this look was with pure utter disgust. " What I meant was… like you said something to with fashion. I want to do something related with music. I'm not as sure yet, but as I said before…being a rock star would be mad."
" See…you're not even sure…"
"I don't have to be unsure," he spoke determinedly, " Cause I am certain that I'll do something that's gotta do with the music industry."
"I heard music is hard to get into. Cause you have to have your own originality to stick up from the crowd people and bands. Wouldn't you give up?"
" It's something I've wanted to do for a long time. And I'm not planning to give up that easily, without a fight."
" You won't," Sora answered firmly. " I've already noticed that my dream is hopeless…why can't you see that –."
" And I'm not letting you give up as well, not if I can help it," he interrupted. " The people who fail are the people who lose hope. And I'm not letting you fall into that trap. We're in this together…I promise you…"
She gave a tiny smile, eyes wandering back to the soft clouds floating above her. She nodded in agreement.
( end of flashback )
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2004 – four years later (16 years old)
Her face was an inch away from pressing against the cold glass window. It was autumn again. For her, she was considered lucky to even get a seat on the crowded bus. The air was filled with all the passengers noisily chatting, but their voices didn't interest her. She was lost in her thought…dreaming of her childhood.
These days everything was clearly disturbing her. She would reminisce about her friendships (she even remembered all the people's name from her grade six class…that even scared her), about how it once had been…but mainly about him…
Yamato probably didn't even remember…
Even when she stared at the clouds, memories would blur back into her head. She hated it. She hated it so much that it was driving her off the tip of sanity. Whenever she thought of him, she felt ill in her stomach and extremely dizzy. Even the way his name was pronounced was etched into her head no matter how much she didn't want to think of him or his name. She even would catch herself muttering his name, and would be thankful that she hadn't said it aloud to anyone yet…
Perhaps it was the signs of lust talking to herself? But having this lust for so many years was tormenting her. She hated him for it. She blamed him for it. She blamed him for everything, even though she couldn't deny that she had partly played in the game as well.
Four years had past, yet she still clung to the past. She missed elementary. She missed the small pieces of homework she would get. She missed running around and feeling the strong breeze hit against her face. She even missed tripping over. She missed him.
In other words – she hated high school. High school. Whenever the words were spoken, it would make her cringe.
She barely managed making it out of school everyday, following the low tedious and tiring routine. She hated gaining homework for every subject. She hated following a timetable and how her classes were always situated in different rooms. She hated reading. Sora Takenouchi could give you a huge list. Well…going to an all girl's school gave her a more better glance in fashion, but that was probably the only factor why she liked about high school.
Leaving from her coed primary school to an all girl school had permanently changed her.
She had to face having good manners, fashion, bitch fights, boys and make up. She didn't mind the good manners (beside the fact that she couldn't burp aloud anymore without getting teased), bitch fights (it wasn't really a problem cause she was never in them) or the fashion (besides wearing clothes she was comfortable in) … mainly she was 'uneducated' with make up and boys.
Even though fashion and make up fitted into the same category, Sora found them completely different. Fashion was a way of expressing yourself. But makeup… if you did one mistake you could look like a clown. She just stuck to the simplicity of make up – lip-gloss, plucking eyebrows (though not that thin) and some facial cleansers ( if that was even considered as makeup) and body creams. She would just go to school, with her hair down, and that was it…causing people to look down on her. But she didn't really care. If this was who she was, they had to face her like that.
'Boys' were another thing that tremendously bugged her. She was separated from the boys she had grown up with – Taichi and Yamato – as well as her other guy friends, when she had left for high school. She was accustomed to being around them, and when they had all of a sudden disappeared from her every day life…it felt really strange. She would notice when her girl's school would have a social with another boy's school…watching how her girl friends would act really flirty and get all ready and prepared … it disgusted her. But being in a girl's school for four years would take a toll on her. Almost every guy that she would come across, she would blush. To her, it was extremely embarrassing.
If she wasn't in an all girl's school, she'd probably be more herself. And probably the whole situation with Yamato would be sorted out, knowing that she would be able to confront him instead of being locked up in a place with the only gender of females. She would of probably stopped thinking about him since she'd know more guys to think about. Being only child and knowing only two guys in her life (at her age) was another reason why she probably felt uncomfortable, also considering the fact that she hardly spoke to them anymore due and since elementary. Now that they were gone…that was most likely why she thought of both Yamato and Tai a lot.
These thoughts were continuously playing in her head so fast that the thoughts weren't making sense at all. She would think all of these thoughts and situations during class or when she was by herself. It had blinded her from reality, with every year that came to close…she still felt like a little kid inside. Keeping all this in for so many years without telling anyone, was mentally hurting her.
And yet she continued to do this to herself…
She opened her eyes, realizing that she was still on the bus and that her friend was still speaking.
"…and the party was soo hot! Seriously Sora, you should've been there. Tai and Matt were even there, they were looking for you too!" Mimi rambled on, still thinking that Sora had listened to the whole story. She stopped when taking a glance at Sora's pale complexion. " Girl, you really need to get some rest. You're always daydreaming, and leaving me out. "
More like the other way around… Sora thought, then immediately wanted to punch herself. Even though Mimi had changed a lot for the past four years, she was never ashamed to be with Sora. She still acted as her best friend, even though she hardly spoke lively anymore. Mimi was still the same person Sora had admired as a best friend. And she felt guilty always making Mimi worry about her.
Though Sora did loath how her best friend could be such a social butterfly, when it came to mingling with boys…she never caught her blushing…
" For once, come back to the present and listen to me!" The brunette headed girl snapped so Sora could hear over the noisy squashy group of people in the crowded bus. " I still don't get why you can't just be like everyone and fit in? I know you can…I've known you for such a long time. You could just for once…got parties, have fun, get drunk -"
"Be rebellious," Sora cut off then sarcastically commented, " Then perhaps, get raped while I'm at it."
Sora had a good sense at what was right and wrong. Sure, as Mimi had said, she could go to parties and 'have fun.' She knew she was capable of doing that…but she just didn't…she believed she wanted to find out who she actually 'was' before letting parties stuff her up even more. She wanted to find out…why she couldn't let herself repudiate her past…
" You're always talking negatively."
"No, I'm always talking practically."
"Screw being practical."
"No, screw you," Sora glared then immediately wished she took the words back.
Mimi stared at her in dismay. Sora hardly cursed…and especially never to her…unless she was really pissed off.
Sora shook her head, " Fuck…sorry Mimi. I seriously…I seriously didn't mean to say that."
"Yeah," Mimi stared uncertainly, " Maybe you're acting like this because you're always shutting every one away from you. Are you alright, Sora?"
"Fine."
Mimi rolled her eyes at the evident lie.
"Mimi," she spoke. " I'm sorry about the outburst just then…we've gone through so much together…and risking this friendship over some stupid fight of being practical…"
"Nuh, it's alright," she replied. " You didn't mean it. Just forget about it. It was stupid"
"I'd better get off now, it's my stop," Sora sighed, " See you at school tomorrow. Bye…"
Mimi waved, concern lingering in hey unsteady smile.
Sora held a hand up as a farewell, then observed the bus disappear in the distance. She continued to walk, not even realizing the sky drizzling water onto her. Even if she had noticed, she wouldn't have cared. She wasn't going to fret over her hair getting stuffed up or getting the usual cold.
"Sora!"
She slowly turned around, gulping back a surprise at the resemblance in features the younger boy had carried towards his brother.
"TK!" she spoke questioningly.
"Yeah, it's been a while," the other person grinned. His blond hair covered with the usual fisherman - yet stylish - hat. His ocean like eyes brightly sparkled, and from the last time Sora had seen him he was a head shorter than her, but not in this case. He had grown.
Almost everything was identical to Yamato, besides the fact that Yamato could shield what he was feeling from everyone else and that his haircut was different.
Awkwardly, Takeru gave her an embrace, which she returned. " It's been a while," he repeated, letting go of the sibling like hug. " Why don't you come visit anymore! Wasn't Tai, my brother, Mimi and you the best of friends?"
"Back then. We sort of drifted," she admitted with a shrug. She sneezed finally realizing that it was raining, " I'd better get going. It's raining."
"Yeah, me too," he spoke cheerfully.
Sora couldn't help but beam at the younger boy. Though it was starting to rain hard, he still managed to bear happiness. That's what made the boy special.
"Take care."
"Bye Sora!"
She waved again, beginning to walk the opposite pathway further down the street. She then entered a building, went up the elevator and into her apartment. She entered her room, feeling more relaxed and at serenity.
So what had she been up to over the years besides being lost into a world of thoughts?
She made scrapbooks of cloth designs. Her favourite ones were plastered against the cream walls of her bedroom. In her spare time, she'd help her mother out in their florist retail store.
She logged onto her messenger account, on the computer, and scrolled down the list of people online. There weren't many people online since they usually went on at nighttime. And it was only four o'clock.
Her eyes fell to the only person online. Her heart darkened.
Display name: hydrolix
Status : out to lunch
"Typical," she sighed, leaning back against her chair. He always did that…whenever he was really online or downloading music…he'd put his status as 'out to lunch.'
It pissed her off to tears how she knew all these tiny details about him.
Why couldn't Yamato just leave her alone! Why was he always everywhere she turned? Why, after all these years, was he still fixated in her mind!
Her story with Yamato after elementary, was short, complicated…yet simple. And his story in her life still lingered in her…never leaving her alone…
She recalled how after elementary, they swore to keep in contact. So they exchanged emails, and did keep in contact for a specific time.
On the Internet, she felt less shy because she wasn't talking to him in person. But it was more like a false hope – typing her words out instead of speaking to him personally. They became closer, but Sora was hesitant. She kept on saying that they were like 'brothers and sisters.'
That was her way of 'thinking about a relationship' from building on as close siblings…then when the time was right…
But that never happened…
One day, when she was the age of thirteen, her girl school had a social with the other boy school that Yamato and Tai attended. After not seeing each other in person for about three full years because they went to different schools and lived in different sections of Odaiba, Sora felt really awkward and uncomfortable. She was shy…quiet…embarrassed…so…
She avoided him.
And he avoided her.
The two pretended as if they didn't know each other, making Tai and Mimi exchange confused glances.
A month later they began to chat online, yet again. Matt spoke of how she'd grown, and Sora spoke to him that he had as well. Their warm conversations slowly became cold and dull.
But when Valentine's Day came…
Matt asked if she would be his valentine.
Sora was pretty sure he was kidding around (still having the words etched in her memory of what she had said to him that day on messenger) " How could I be your Valentine? It'll be weird. You're my older brother!"
That's when Matt stopped talking to her. Rare occasions they had crossed paths, and they completely ignored each other…it made Sora feel sick to think they were ever friends…and that she thought they would become more than that.
Perhaps that was why they say friendships, relationships, and romances online never worked out…
Whenever Mimi, or some other people and friends would mention about him…she'd act as if she didn't care…but she would listen to what they say. And from the eavesdropping…she was disappointed at what Matt had become. He had always told her to be 'yourself' and not be one of those followers.
Instead, he was the type of guy that would get a girl friend every week… was the lead singer to a band (who would only sing for popularity and attention…not for who he was), he would smoke, drink, go high on some drugs once in a while, go to parties, be involved in fights, and even the rumour of him not being a virgin anymore.
It disappointed her. Of what happened to him, and how dramatically he had changed into a person she knew that he'd never be. He wasn't true to himself, and that's what she didn't like about him. Sure, he was involved with music…but the lyrics he sang and composed…they didn't even make sense. And yet girls went crazy for his band. It pissed her off…it pissed her off because she knew Yamato could become a popular artist without using the easy way out and using his looks as a way to become well known amongst the girls. She knew…Yamato could do better than that…
The Yamato Ishida everyone saw, was a false identity. Was someone corrupting his name. Yamato Ishida was much better than that pseudo image…way better
Changes. She hated changed altogether…probably this was why she was struggling to adjusting to the new reality she had to face. Cause what she wanted…she knew she would never have…
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Bleh. I didn't really like this chapter. Probably if I go over and edit it again…I'd be more satisfied. But I'm just going to leave it for now, cause I'm tremendously tired considering I just got back from New Zealand yesterday (jetlag!) and that tying all these memories make me feel weird. This chapter probably confused everyone by now… but next chapter will me more straightforward. And will be definitely from Yamato's point of view. That's all I gotta say for now…(sigh) take care
Lots of love
F l i p s t a h h z