Derek's POV
There I was turning the corner, specifically the corner of the science wing of Columbia University, when I saw her. I'm pretty sure she caught sight of me too. Oh, she digged me. The glasses, the big hair, the pocket protector, the sexiness. Oh yeah. Anyway, back to her. She was BE-A-U-TIFUL! It was seriously love at first site, well, for me at least. You should have seen her: the voluptuous red hair, the bluish-gray eyes, those small yet luscious red lips, the long leggy sexy legs, whoo wee! We had Anatomy together, and we sat together. She was so sweet, spicy yet elegant. We talked, rarely. So, two weeks later I finally got the courage to ask her out on a date. She turned me down, said she had no time, too much work. Said she wanted to focus on her academics. So I waited a month, no, and another month, nope, and another month, no way, another month, yes, and a...WOAH, wait a minute, she said YES!
Our first date, I took her to the carnival. She loved it. I won her a stuffed seal, she loved that too. We shared cotton candy, walked around, hand in hand, she laid her head on my shoulder. It all felt so right. The first date, and I knew it was love. She was the love of my life. At 10:34 we stopped at the top of the ferries wheel, our eyes locked, then suddenly she looked away. She pointed up at the sky, I looked up, Make a wish she, she said. She closed her eyes, I leaned in, the moment was perfect, our lips touched, our tongues touches, her kiss is what I always dreamed of, our wishes came true.
The first time, we, well you know, it was perfect. A romantic dinner, candle light dinner. I set it up perfectly. My house was so clean you could eat on the toilet, although we didn't, we ate on the table, with a table cloth. She was gorgeous, she had a little black dress on, oh and was it sexy. The bedroom, roses on the bed, yes I am a total romantic, and let me say she was a total sucker of a romantic guy. The kiss, it was more than a kiss. My lips touched hers, then her jawbone, her neck, her chest. Slowly and gently, the zipped seemed to unzip itself. I had to step back and look at her for a second: she had the sexiest black lacy lingerie on, lacy black flowers...I took her into my arms and kissed her lightly on the lips, then moved down to her neck, the sound of my name sent shivers down my spin. With on hand, that lacy bra was across the room...and the rest was history. The next morning, her in my arms, a red sea of hair on my chest, it was meant to be.
One of the most exciting and scariest moments of my life; we went to the park, it was so romantic, and then the rain started a pourin', I was going to do it NO MATTER WHAT. She was wet and so beautiful looking, I fell in a gaze just looking at those very eyes I fell in love with. I pulled her into the rose garden and got on one knee, it was 9:47 pm on November 14th 1993, I asked her to marry me. She was speechless, but that smile, those tears, and the definite nod was the answer I was looking for. I slipped the ring on her finger and she jumped into my arms, then kissed me with all the passion in this universe.
When that music started to play, I saw her. She was wearing the most extravagant white dress: strapless, carefully stitched pearls on the edges of the top and intertwined into her veil that was covering her delicate features, her fiery red hair piled up on her head with elegant curls hanging down in all the right places. Her father walked her down the isle, she was holding a bouquet of red roses, her favorite. I remember the very words her father said to me; Take care of my baby doll, cause God knows she loves you more that anything in this world. Those words just rung through my ears. I remember lifting her veil up and over, revealing her beautiful smile, that smile, it almost brought a tear to my eye. My vows to her, I will never forget. You, Addison Leanne Montgomery, I wanted you to be mine from the moment I laid eyes on you. Everything about you, I fell in love. Your laugh, that smile, those eyes, your strength, the look you gave me, our look. Everything. I knew you were the one for me, the only one for me. You are the love of my life, that will never change. I want you to be with me for eternity, I want to have a family with you, I want to cry with you, love you. I want you to be the only woman that will ever be in my arms. You're my little bombshell, country girl, and you fell in love with the nerd. It's like a corny movie, but you know what, I love our corny movie. That sounded corny, but well, I Love You, more than anything in this universe. The tears trickled down her face as she smiled and laughed. I dried her tears with my hand, then she took my palm and kissed it. She recited her vows, and then the most anticipated words were said, I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now kiss your bride. Oh, and I did kiss my bride, and we walked out of that church in each other's arms.
Our first dance as husband and wife. When At Last came on I put my arms around her waist and she put her arms around my neck and just gazed into each other's eyes. She gently kissed me on the lips and said, I love you Derek Andrew Shepherd, and then she laid her head on my shoulder and we danced, we danced as if nobody else was in that room, in the world, it was just us, together, forever.
Our most memorable anniversary, how could I forget it? It's the gift I always wanted. It was our 7th anniversary, well it was a gift for our 8th anniversary. I remember the date exactly, it was June 30th 2001. I was walking through the halls of Manhattan General when she approached me. She had the biggest smile on her face. I had no idea, I though she was on something. But then she took my hand, I caressed her face with it, she took it and kissed my palm, then moved it down to her stomach and said those words that made me drop to my knees, We're having a baby Derek. On my knees I lifted up the hemline her shirt laid my hands upon her stomach and kissed it. Everybody looked at us like we were crazy, but I didn't care. She just sat there and played with my hair and she giggled with that huge smile on her face.
Addison was the most gorgeous pregnant person I had ever seen. She had a impeccable glow. She was five months pregnant and we went out to dinner. Italian food, it was her pregnancy craving. It was the perfect night, a special dinner I had planned for just the two of us. We talked about the names we wanted for our little girl. Lillian? No. Marissa? No. Nicole? No. Elliot? No. Charlotte? Yes. We decided on Charlotte Marie. It was a beautiful name for a baby girl. We went home that night, and just laid in bed together. I laid down near her belly, it was getting bigger and bigger. She had a cute baby bump or big bump. I just sat there talking to Charlotte, telling how her how much we loved her. I just laid there rubbing her belly and kissing it as she curled my hair with her fingers. We were both so happy. She was exhausted, I could tell, for she fell asleep about ten minutes later. I cuddled up next to her and she laid her head on my chest, that sea of red curls. I laid my hand on her stomach and fell asleep. About four hours later Addy woke up, and woke me up. I had never seen her so scared in her life. He face was white as a sheet and I knew she knew that something was terribly wrong. She said she was going into labor, plus she was bleeding, a lot. I carried her to the car and went about 90 all the way to the hospital. She had to get an emergency C-section, I was with her the whole time, until they shooed me out because they had to fix the damage to her ovaries. Luckily our baby girl was still alive, she was a fighter. After they stabilized her I went and watched her in her incubator. she was on a ventilator, her lungs were too under developed. You think that doctors would know all of this, but you loose all thought when things happen. I called Sav and Weiss, telling them that Addy had gone into premature labor and that the baby was stabilized, but it didn't look good. I watched my little girl's chest inflate and deflate, I could see her little heart pumping away. she had the prettiest blue eyes and auburn hair. Our Charlotte. Two hours later Addison got out of surgery. I went to go see her, she was eager to see Charlotte. Usually mothers that just got out of surgery can't visit their baby until they can feel their feet, but I pulled strings, and plus they didn't how long Charlotte would live for. Sav and Weiss could only watch from outside the window of the NICU. I pushed Addy to see our little girl. She cried the minute she saw her, she knew it was bad. She'd been working around babies like this, but she never though that one of those babies would be her's. We took three pictures of her, one by herself, one with Addison next the incubator with raccoon eyes, and one with me next to the incubator. Charlotte, she didn't make it through the night. Addison was devastated, so was I. I slept in the hospital bed with her, I held her as she shook from all the tears.
We walked among all the flowers and pews of the church, and we sat in the first pew. I held her trembling hand the whole entire time, her head stayed on my shoulder for the duration of the funeral. We listened to the priest talk and talk, but it went right through our ears, we didn't want to hear it. We were in shock. We walked out fo the church and ended up at the cemetery, before they put her tiny mahogany casket in the ground, Addison and I took two lilies, one for the each of us, and we placed them on top of her casket and said our goodbyes. Addison shook from the tears, I thought she was going to faint. I held her tight, I never wanted to let go. We cried together as they lowered the tiny casket into the ground. It was all real, it wasn't a nightmare.
Months, Years, we slowly grew farther apart. We didn't want to talk about her death, it was far too painful. I couldn't look at her the same, I couldn't look at her stomach the same way. I wished that it was all a bad dream. I chose, we chose to ignore it, go on with our lives and focus on our careers and their increasing demands. We got big in our specialties, purposely signing up for seminars, long distant surgeries, etc. We talked to a mutual friend instead: Mark. He was my best friend since college. I told him how I felt, how it was with Addison, how painful it was. And she told him her fears, and problems. We should have resolved it ourselves, friends don't always help.
I walked into my house after a two day seminar in CT. I noticed that something was very different. I felt a weird vibe. I walked upstairs, and stepped on and jacket, a man's jacket, that wasn't mine, but yet it looked so familiar. I didn't want to open my bedroom door. I feared what was behind it, I knew what was behind it. I slowly opened the door to see my best friend on top of my wife. I paused, let the anger build up inside me. She pushed him off of her, she was crying before I walked in. I didn't care. She pulled the sheets over her body and tried to get out of the bed to run to me. He just stood there dumbfounded. My anger reached the top. I looked next to me and saw the our wedding picture. I picked it up and threw it across the room, the glass broke and shattered everywhere. I looked at Addison, my facial expression was one of disgust. She looked at me, tears streaming down her face, she looked so sad, but I didn't care, she hurt me more than ever. YOU-YOU,I-I CAN'T BELIVE YOU, FUCKING BITCH. I ran downstairs, she ran after me and grabbed my arm, I flung it off and grabbed my briefcase, my wallet, my keys, and my coat, and jumped into my car. She ran outside the house and screamed, through my rear-view mirror I could see her drop to the ground. I just turned the radio on and let the tears come over me.
I drive on the streets cause she's my companion. I walk through the hills cause she knows who I am. She sees my good details, and kisses the winded. I never worried, now that is a lie. And I don't ever want to feel like I did that day, take me to the place I love, take me all the way.