Last Edited: 29.12.o5

Written: 17.1o.o5

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Do You Still Think of Me?

PART TWO – Picking up the fragments

Chapter Three

By Flipstahhz

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He thought that perhaps they would have been closer after the engagement party. His contentions were incorrect. Sure, at least they were speaking yet they still hadn't managed to completely destroy the boulder between them and what he thought as their 'relationship.' The boulder was only cracked slightly. They were still on rocky grounds and he had to leave since he had to go back to Tamachi to attend teacher conferences. He was a busy man now. He was no longer a teenager. There was no point in staying when there was nothing between them, nothing but a friendly conversation. Or he could just be chickening out again.

Though, Yamato hadn't realized that he would be returning back to Odaiba within the next couple of days…

That Tuesday school night, the night sky was a perfect shade of dark blue. He tiredly dragged his limp enervated figure out from the kitchen of his apartment, but vigilantly eyed the mug carried by his left hand of coffee that was overflowing. He slouched onto the chair, took a gulp of the caffeine, and let his blue eyes become glued to the computer screen. He had a feeling that he was going to be up all night trying to figure out the perfect test for his year nine class. He knew that 'perfect test' were two words that weren't going to be found in his class' vocabulary. He smirked. He sometimes liked being the one 'in charge' and watching his students whine, even though it was so evil. He shook his head, he was realizing that he was becoming like one of his teachers back in High School that cherished in abusing their power. Another reason of becoming a teacher was to be 'different' from the rest and be 'remembered' for being a cool guy. He chuckled to himself.

After hours of work, he let a yawn stifle out of his mouth's frame. He glanced on the bottom right-hand corner and saw the numbers of 01:53 am jumping at him. He had done enough work for the night. He exited all the programs on his computer, shutting it down. He leaned back, closing his eyes and tasting the sensation of being worn out. Before he knew it, the man had got lost into his own dreamland, falling into an uncomfortable slumber seated in his computer chair.

Soon, he abruptly woke up. He was rather piqued when he could feel bruises forming on his sides from the nasty fall from his seat. He wiped the wet drool from the corners of his mouth and growled when he felt his cell vibrating and ringing aloud into the night.

Who could possibly ring up at this obscene time?

He snatched his phone from his jean pocket, since he hadn't changed into his pajamas, and answered the call.

" TK, thank you for waking me up!" he snapped angrily and continued to grumble, " Couldn't you think of a appropriate time to call instead of 3am. Are you insane - ?"

" Matt, it's Kari."

Yamato's anger and irritation had been replaced with worry. Why was Kari using TK's cell? Her voice seemed overwhelmed at the same time with nervousness, uncertainty and fragility.

" Where's TK?" he croaked. He knew instantly that something was wrong. " What's happened?"

" He can't come to the phone right now," she asserted. " He's not in the current state to be talking - "

He was alarmed, a firm frown curling on his dry lips. And spoke the words that were beating in his mind repetitiously. " What's happened?" he questioned again. There had to be an important reason why she was calling at the time on TK's cell. Something was going on…

He was certain that it had nothing to do with the couple. Even though his brother and Tai's sister had married at only nineteen, he knew that they had really loved each other. But it did leave them quite open to vulnerability if a heavy bad situation came along.

And Yamato didn't want to be left in the dark any longer.

In a calmer voice, he spoke, " Tell me, Kari…"

There was a pause on the other line, as if the younger woman was gaining strength within the quiet seconds to spill the correct words out to him. She was going to his bringer of grave news.

She began to muster out, " Your mother…she died, Yamato. She died."

He could feel his throat tighten. He didn't know…he didn't know what to think. His mother had died…it felt surreal. Yamato never knew there would ever be such a day he would face something like this. He thought the divorce was enough…but death? Death was nothing compared to the divorce. He then noticed that he wasn't alone.

" How's TK doing?" were the first words that he managed to whisper out. TK, after all, had been closer to his mother than he was.

" Taking it badly. He's crying…I don't know what to do. I've never seen him like this. No, not TK," she babbled on anxiously. " I thought I should have told you straight away…because I know…no…I knew TK wouldn't be able to tell you."

" Thanks…" he muttered gratefully, though grief was so clear in his tone when he spoke the single word all from the tragedy he had just been exposed to. " What from? How?" he said softly, hands tightening as he kicked anything on the floor that he could see subconsciously.

" Heart attack," She informed simply. " A sudden unexpected one…"

They remained quiet for a bit, as he continued to let it all sink in. From his mother's smile to her eyes, personality and caring attitude towards everyone…it was all now compressing and being jumbled into his thoughts.

" Thanks again, Kari," he said numbly. " Go look after him now…he needs you the most. TK needs someone to comfort him. I know you can…"

" Yeah," her sorrowful voice said. " We'll talk to you soon. Take care of yourself, Yamato."

" I will."

The cell phone beeped. He thrust the phone onto his bed and stood up. He leaned back with his hands frantically running through his hair in stress and somberness. Yamato joined his phone later, and curled his body into a ball like a little boy as he cradled himself to sleep. He was glad that someone was there to reassure TK, but right now…all he had was himself to comfort. And that's all he needed…

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The tense atmosphere was melancholy and mourning. Spring seemed to have lost its vibrant colours. Yamato never liked funerals, and he was convinced that many other people agreed with him. But death had to be accepted. That was life for you. Once you were born, you would die either way…one way or another. That was the harsh reality of it all. Once you let that special person go, you move on. It was a whole hard process from one to become fully cured and recovered from.

He let his eyes focus on the coffin as it was placed carefully under the ground. His brother's eulogy and the strong words blazed still in his mind vividly how the way Takeru's speech had struck him. Every word Takeru spoke, Yamato could tell that his brother was trying so hard to not collapse into sobs and it was killing him. This wasn't TK. This wasn't his brother…

Takeru was his younger sibling that was never sad or had never been put down from anything that had attempted to get in his way. He was strong -always full of hope. Yes, Takeru was much stronger than Yamato himself. Yamato never knew he would see such a weak side to him. The TK he knew was always smiling, happy and a bright shining star full of hope and always thought positively. He was someone different. Perhaps Takeru was like this because he had always been close to their mother - he was mama's boy. Maybe that was why TK – his brother – had broken into someone he didn't know. His – no, their- mother was gone. And TK had no one to support him and help him get picked up. Whenever troubles came along, he would always confide them to their mother since they lived under the same roof. They always had a close connection. Heck, it was much closer than Yamato and his father.

His father…how was he doing?

Yamato let his gaze travel amongst the small crowd of people that were surrounding his mother's grave. He immediately spotted his father. He observed that even his father was a terrible wreck. His father's hair hadn't been combed…and…he was crying.

It hit him how his old man was drenched with regret. Yamato had always known that after his parent's divorce his father hadn't been the same. Yamato knew that his father still loved her…it pained him seeing his father in such an unpleasant condition.

Besides his father, he spotted the soon-to-be-wedded couple and saw that both Tai and Mimi were holding each other for support. They stood there, hand in hand, and Yamato watched Taichi offer his handkerchief to Mimi. She accepted it and wiped her puffy pink eyes from the warm tears falling down her face.

Hikari was next to Mimi, holding up little Steven in her arms, as Yamato watched her sending concerned glances towards her husband. At least Takeru was lucky that he had someone to love him…

That was when Yamato locked gazes with her.

She had been staring at him with her piercing eyes. Her eyes were the only passages to her soul and what she was thinking. And right now, he could feel her showing pity towards him.

Even though it was a dreadful day, the sun was shining brightly. Rays of light struck the woman in the black attire. Sora was suited in a long black skirt, a formal black top with a fitting blazer covering it and matching ebony stockings and gloves. Though it wasn't correct of him to notice her features at the time, it couldn't be helped. He shook his head to himself in shame.

He had seen all these people less than a week ago at his best friend's engagement party, and they had been all cheerful and beaming like maniacs, and now they had all been completely defeated from being miserable.

It was terribly scornful how things could change so quickly.

The funeral finally came to a conclusion. Majority of the guests departed the cemetery, but he hadn't paid attention to them at all. He had already settled himself in a fixed position, squatting down onto the blades of grass as he stared inconsolably at his mother's grave.

She was gone…

His mother was gone.

He never knew when he was going to accept it. Yamato felt someone else's presence as the figure also squatted adjacent to him. He winced, detecting the person's hand had rested on his shoulder as an evident symbol of comfort and reassurance. He already knew who the figure was, and proceeded to stare at her grave soundlessly.

" I'm sorry …"

" There was nothing you could do," he said bitterly. " Don't say sorry when it wasn't your fault. It was no one's fault that she passed away."

Saying 'died' hurt him more. 'Passed away' sounded better. Together, they squatted there longer. She was probably the only one there that knew how he felt…

" Guess we're both motherless now," she commented with a small sense of sadistic sarcasm in her character.

"Hmm," he grunted.

" Is there anything I can do? I understand how it's like -"

" Do you?" he intervened without thinking. " There's nothing you can do. She's gone. And that's that. At least we told you that she died. When your mother died…you told no on-"

" Yamato…please…"

" Sora…why…why can't you just leave me alone?" he scowled. " You always come in the wrong times. I don't want to think of you anymore…I'm sick of you!"

I'm sick of loving you without you loving me back…

He abruptly jumped to his feet and stormed off, away from the scene. He was a jerk and he knew it. But all of what just had happened was enough as it was, and Sora being there had prompted him to burst. Right now, all he needed was his own space. He felt really giddy and like a child storming off like that. He probably looked like a fool since he was a middle-aged man who had water falls rolling down his face.

Yamato was only a couple of graves away when he could sense someone trail behind him. Then the person called out to him…

" MATT!"

He turned around, seeing the spit firing shorter image of himself glaring at him as he noticed tears rolling down the other person's face as well. But this time, they weren't tears of sadness…but tears of rage

" What the bloody hell is with you?" TK hollered. " You're such a conceited bastard!"

Yamato stood there, shocked. TK had never said anything like this…even when he was angry. And from the looks of things, he was beyond anger. He was speechless; he didn't know how to respond back to his spleen.

He continued, " Why do you have to be such a bitch at our mother's funeral? Why do you have to be so cold and stubborn all the time, always thinking of none other but yourself!"

" Takeru-"

" Don't you dare Takeru me! I don't want you to think I've cracked it. I don't need your sympathy when I know that I am sane enough to know what the hell I am saying," he spat lividly, face twisting in rage. " You've dodged a bullet so many times…it's about some time a tell you straight in the face."

The older boy gave a brief nod as he was prepared for the worse his brother had to say. Yamato stared hard at the ground.

" She…mum…she only wanted your happiness, Yamato," he said truthfully, his tone was becoming softer. " Ever since the divorce…she always cared for you, you know? Years went by, and she didn't know who you were anymore. And it was the same with me…"

Yamato looked up.

" You became dull. Everything that went on, you kept it to yourself - no one but yourself. We weren't idiots to not see that you were going through pain and carrying the burden all by yourself. We tried…we tried so hard to make you happy again…"

" I was fine -"

" You fucking weren't! You were so stubborn and in denial, like you are now!" TK shot back, voice echoing through the cemetery. " You didn't give a shit of how much we all worried about you, Yamato. You were the one that changed the most after the divorce -"

It then struck Yamato of how he wasn't one of the best brothers when he was younger. Instead of him being an older brother to TK, it was more like the other way around. He was hardly there for Takeru, and was concerned more about thinking of his own life...and thinking always of her. He was a selfish prick. When he left Odaiba to become a teacher, he had forgotten about his family. He hadn't bothered to visit as much when he even knew that his mother wasn't in a good condition. He put his job before his diminishing family. It was already a bad state when his family had separated…and he…he had made it worse…

He had failed everybody.

" Why tell me now?" he choked out. It all made sense now, everything clicked…only it had taken him long enough to figure it all out.

" I'm not finished," TK said sternly. " With what you did to Sora, back there. Right after you were being a dick there, she ran off. Unfortunately, for you, I wasn't deaf and I heard your whole conversation between her. Can't you just respect her?"

" I do."

" Sure doesn't sound like it," TK lectured his older brother. " All she wanted to do was help you out and reassure you…and what do you do to repay her? You push her away and run off, like you always do when you're faced with any problem. You're such a coward. You don't need to hurt her anymore…she's already been hurt enough…"

" How would you know?"

" Yamato," he said, staring directly at him without blinking. " Even though I'm not always around. I know, for a fact, that the both of you share the same feelings for each other. It's been long enough both Sora and you haven't gotten together yet."

" She doesn't –"

" Stop denying it! Have you ever thought or even tried to ask her?" he questioned, and then began to speak when his older brother didn't answer back. " So you can't jump to endings straight away. I thought you were old enough to have figured this out by now, guess I was wrong."

" You're way younger than I am," Yamato sighed. " And yet you appear mentally older than I."

" What are you waiting for? You've had so many opportunities before. Don't blow each and every one away," TK advised. " Go after her…"

He wasn't going to fail them again…he wasn't going to fail Sora…

" I will," he replied confidently. He stared at TK. " Thanks."

" What are brother's for?" he remarked with a dreary shrug as he watched Yamato run away and disappear behind some tombstones.

Takeru looked down to the emerald shaded grass and saw a wallet planted there. He retrieved the leather wallet into his hands and stood back as a photograph slipped from it. He quirked a small simper when he saw a younger picture of Sora that had been dormant, hidden in the leather wallet of his brother's. Perhaps there was hope after all…

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