To write anything I must have music…and so we have 'Maps' by Yeah Yeah Yeah. I only do Teyla/Shep---with a lot of Teyla. If you can't tolerate her…then don't read she's more than brawn here. I'd like to thank my sorta beta Liz from Zendall shippers site, her insight was of great help---as well Admiral Q O for her quick betaing.
Title: For What It's Worth
Author: The Puppeteer (b.k.a—vaberella)
b.k.a.- better known as
Rating: PG/PG-13—Bloody 'ell, language, I have to be safe for the brats.
Spoilers: Michael (so if you haven't seen it…then don't read it yet if you don't want your SGA night to be ruined) ----By the way this is the best episode of SGA, I have ever seen. SGA writer's are great….props up to Long Goodbye in the mean time..which I will be writing for…look for it—Titled: More Than You Know…soon to be posted at your forum!
Summary: AU---Moment in time/Hidden Scene/Tag scene---whatever so many bloody names. Something perplexed me of both Teyla and Shep's expressions throughout the show. Sorta romantic, but I had a feeling this conversation took place.
These moments were quite normal between the two, these times of bonding and reminiscing of what the day held and what the days ahead held. There were no would haves, should haves, could haves or ifs after a mission. Nor was there any discussion of past missions, to them the past was the past and there was nothing to question. There was an understanding that they did what they could, to the best of their abilities and are glad that they are blessed to live another day. There have been times, more so than others that one would console another from the fear of loss and the understanding that the worst can always happen, and to remember that nothing is ever fully gone, for memory has kept those gone, closer than believed.
But on this day at this time, things are different. The perpetual heat that is quite common in the training room, seems to have increased three-fold after the 2 hour long sparring that had just ended, just a few minutes ago to lower their body heat before their talks began. Already, there is an urgency and slight tinge of foreboding in the air surrounding these two friends, and team members, possibly lovers.
"I am sorry Colonel but I can not do that." The look of reservation and trepidation clearly apparent in the warrior's expressive features and voice, he sees the instant she pulls away.
Taking a deep breath and releasing a resigned sigh, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard grasps her shoulders gently in his hand. "I know this is not something you want to do, but----""
"That is a bit of an understatement and that you are fully aware of," Teyla says in a huff pulling away from him and stomping towards their supplies along the wall in the training room.
Grabbing her around the waist and pulling her back flush along his torso. "Look…." he growled lowly, "Teyla."
Feeling her stiffen at the mention of her name, he knows what the familiarity does to her, continuing on without a change in pitch, "You are the only one of us, most qualified to talk to him, especially since you would be able to detect telepathically if there is something wrong."
Turning her head slightly causing her limp fringe to caress his lips slightly she says, words dripping like acid, "You mean…if he has any wraith residual abilities?"
He knows what this is doing to her and she knows what this does to him. It is the same thing that happened when she and her people were suspected of alerting the Wraith, he gets spoken down to, and then it is his duty, for it can never be anyone else's, least of all Elizabeth's, to speak to her and have her understand. There is no one else she trusts and if she must, depends on as she does John—Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, and every personnel on Atlantis knows this.
As he turns her sullen face to him, he leans his head lightly upon hers. "I don't like this any more than you do, Teyla, as a matter of fact, I hate it! And I thought this was a bad idea from the start. But since we started it, we have to finish it!" John says, stroking his smooth lean hands across her face then tenderly pulls her closer to him by her thick sleeveless choli.
Pushing him away, she says defiantly, "We, have nothing to finish, as I had nothing to do with this."
Shocked by what she just said, "You were on the damned mission, which means you were and are in this." John is more than unnerved by her continuous opposition to this and his frustration is coming out in every word.
This silences her, and she refrains from telling him that she was unaware that his goal was to take a Wraith back to Atlantis for testing. Keeping them prisoner is one thing, but testing on them and readapting them to our way of life is another, especially with a drug that is not yet proven to be fully reliable. 'But, this is not the time or place to discuss such things, and as such are irrelevant, for again the past is the past,' she thinks silently.
"Hell," he said, letting out a jagged breath. "I'm not doing this to back you up into a wall. That's not my goal and you know that. But if I must order you and pull rank, I will."
"I am not your little soldier John. I fight alongside you and guide you for my people's sake and for the annihilation of the Wraith. And you threaten me with rank?" shock and anger evident in her tone and face, "You are not my leader, John. But I see you as a friend and a man that I admire more than I can say," she grounds out relentlessly.
There are no words after her admission. Nothing needs to be said as a pause falls around them, as they both go over what has been said by both parties and also by decisions made outside of their control.
Teyla spreads her arms out to encompass the room, her own frustration clearly apparent in the action, "Then what am I supposed to do Colonel? Do you have any consideration to what I am feeling? This is wrong! We are no better than his kind. We are not making this better; we are opening ourselves to more danger." Fervently, pleading her case.
"When we're together it is just John and Teyla, there is no Colonel, Major, or Lieutenant Colonel for that matter---"
Bristling she spits out, "You brought this here…It was you pulling rank." Trembling in the amount of anger she is suppressing. Her hands making a slashing motion of finality, "You brought up this pointless discussion and as such you are who you are and I am who I am."
"John," hoping to pacify the situation after seeing his hurt expression with her soft tone, "As a leader of my people this is not something I can do, and feel comfortable…" she urgently whispers, her hand caressing his face.
"Tey-" softly he says, reaching up with his hand to cover hers, holding it against him as he rubs his cheek against it her calloused palms. 'Palms of a woman who has worked hard, who has lived hard, who loves with her entire being,' he thinks to himself, 'I am definitely not worthy.'
"No, I have said it once and I will reinforce my viewpoint. What we have done is beyond abhorrent! We are no better than his kind. Do you not understand that? How do you expect me to look upon him and not see what his cohorts have done to my people, our people?" she implores him with unshed tears.
Turning roughly away from her and running his hands through his hair, making them even more spiky and unmanageable as before, "Damn it, this is for our people!" he yells.
Teyla counters, "No, this is for our own selfish gain, our one upman-ship of superiority."
"Would you prefer we eradicate their entire race? How does that make us better?" he pleads. "This could save them, Teyla! It would be biological warfare without the killing, especially as they have humanistic aspect still within them." Manipulating the compassion he knows so well that encompasses all that she does.
"At least we are fighting them on a level playing field. Tell me John, how well received is biological warfare, when there are so many negatives that overpower the minute positives?" she asks quietly in retaliation.
"Are you sympathizing with these things?" he counters just as quietly, testing their boundaries.
"Do you dare? It seems to me you are far more sympathetic!" she sneers from tight lips and fire coming out of her eyes, as her brow lifts in challenge. Of all the things that Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard could have said, that was a direct hit to the solar plexus, it was like a slap in the face and he knew he asked for trouble as the words slipped from his mouth. If she had not had a flush from the sparring earlier on and the heat that seems so pervasive in the training room, she certainly was now.
"Do you not see what I am saying, John?" the urgency returning to her words. "He can use this against us, we cannot trust his kind. Dr. Beckett has said this over and over again…this is to test if it is possible, but a Wraith is always a Wraith no matter what you do! Do you not see?" walking towards him again, wrapping her arms around him. "It is in their kind, this will lead to our destruction and it frightens me if we are not careful."
Shaking her head, she says remorsefully, "As leader I would never have allowed the test done on Atlantis. It is far too dangerous of a venture. And I must say that is my greatest fear of all."
"At least this gives us a fighting chance. It is better to keep it in as close proximity as possible. We have no knowledge of when a Wraith cruiser would be able to find us on an uninhabited planet." John says calmly, as he brings his arms to lie upon her shoulders to wrap around her neck pulling her closer into his arms.
"Not only that, this could possibly make their…our lives better," he says into her hair.
She rubs her face along his muscled chest, releasing a broken sigh, "For you, John."
"What is it you want of me?" she looks at him, with a certain level of defeat in her eyes.
He explains to her in detail what her duty will be, and trying to calm any fears she may have for her own safety and those around Atlantis. He also informs her that he will be at the helm of all surveillance when she is around 'Michael'.
He whispers a hushed 'I'm sorry' and bringing her face up to his as he leans down to brush his lips softly against hers he never finishes, "For what it's worth…" as she closes the gap between them, giving him a reassuring kiss.
There is no need for words, she understands, as she always does.
Choli--that's a shirt that is worn by Indian woman under their sari's. The shirt that Teyla wears, looks similar to one, without the sleeves.
Okay…so like Read and Review…yeah it's my first SGA….so I'm like a virgin in this. Lost it now. And I only do Shep/Teyla….although I have a thing for Caldwell/Weir..
McKay/Zalenka/Cavanaugh---I love my geeks, their all mine. They will never pair with a woman….except maybe McKay and Heightmeyer. She's cool!
The End! C'est finir! All Done! No More!