Jeremy led Sara into the sitting room where Heather and Brittany were already. Sara felt a wave of nervousness wash over for what felt like the hundredth time that night. She wanted Heather to like her and she was nervous about that. Plus as a general rule children were not too fond of her. It was almost as though they could smell her fear. She didn't want to make a fool out of herself.
"Sara, this is my wife, Heather, and my daughter Brittany."
"Hi, Auntie Sara," Brittany remarked with delight before turning to her father, "Right?" Her excitement was taken over by momentary doubt.
"That's right sweetie, Sara is your aunt." Jeremy said with a grin on his face.
Sara smiled at the young girl as she sat down. Brittany came over to give her a hug. At that moment Sara was so happy to have found her brother. She was glad he had a family and she felt as though she was welcomed in as a member already. Technically she was a member but she had been worried about the response she would receive.
"Can I get you something to drink?" Heather decided that Jeremy was too distracted to remember his basic manners. She wanted to get them settled in before she left with Brittany. She knew that Jeremy and Sara should talk without her and Brittany around. She knew the conversation would not be appropriate for Brittany to hear and she suspected that Sara would not be comfortable with her around either. The poor woman looked so nervous. It was quite endearing to Heather. She had never had a sister before and she felt as though she could take care of Sara in same way.
"Coffee would be great if you have some." Since she had been up since the day before she felt the need to drink some caffeine.
Heather went and got Sara coffee and Jeremy some water since she thought he was jittery enough without piling caffeine onto his nerves.
"K, Britt let's go." Heather wasn't sure where she would take Brittany but she figured that she could find something to do with her even if she had to drive to a park in the suburbs.
"I don't wanna go no where. I wanna stay here!" Brittany got a pout on her face and immediately looked to her father for help.
Oh no thought Jeremy. He didn't want Sara to get this impression of his Family. The whole situation felt like a test to him.
"Why don't you want to come Brittany? We will find something fun to do." Heather was hoping she could reason with her daughter and she wouldn't have to force her out the door.
"I wanna stay with Auntie Sara."
Sara was getting uncomfortable. She wanted to spend time with Brittany but she knew her and Jeremy had to talk about the past before their relationship could move forward. Some of the past was not something they could address with Brittany there. Jeremy also didn't want his daughter to see him emotional.
"Brittany, I would love for you to stay too but I need to talk to your father. Then we can hang out later." Sara was surprised to find herself talking to the little girl. She didn't know where the words came from.
Brittany looked at her as if trying to decide if she was telling the truth. The looks on her parents' faces told her she wasn't going to stay no matter what she wanted.
"Fine," she huffed as she stomped after her mother. She wanted it to be clear she was not happy about this. Normally Heather would talk to her about her behavior but at the moment she was just thankful Brittany agreed to go without a major tantrum.
After they left Jeremy felt the need to apologize for Brittany.
"I'm sorry, she's just at that age, although normally she's quite good."
"She's very cute. You don't have to apologize for anything." She looked into his eyes and she could tell he was still unsure. "Or be embarrassed in any way."
"It's mostly my fault she's like that. I am just learning how to tell her no and only because Heather is making me." He said while he shook his head.
Sara smirked, her brother was always trying to protect her as a kid and she figured that he thought that he had to give Brittany everything she wanted.
Jeremy took a deep breath and prepared himself to tell Sara what he had been waiting 22 years to tell her. Just thinking about it brought tears to his eyes.
"Sara, I just wanted you to know how sorry I am." He forced himself to look in his eyes and he saw confusion so he continued. "I never should have left you at home with them. And after dad died I wanted to take you in but the state wouldn't let me. And I know I never should have started doing drugs cause then they would have aloud me to be your guardian maybe. Or I could have just taken you when I left if I had been thinking straight. And I probably couldn't have taken real good care of you but at least I could have tried. I could have kept you safe at least…"
"Whoo, whoo, stop. What are you talking about?" Sara couldn't belief what her brother had just rambled off. "Nothing that happened to us was your fault. I understand your guilt because I have dealt with my own for a long time but we were both victims in our childhood."
"I should have taken care of you. You didn't deserve to be left behind."
"And you didn't deserve to be forced to stay. I'm glad you got out and we are both reasonably okay adults so you need to stop feeling bad. I am going to assume that you have moved past our childhood." At his nod she continued, "well so have I. We are going to have to stop doing the 'what ifs' so we can move on with our relationship. OK?"
"Yeah that sounds good. But I want to hear about everything that you have done in the last twenty years."
For the next few hours Sara told them about her days in foster care, about her pleasant and unpleasant families. She told him about Harvard and how much she loved it. Her job and how she ended up in Vegas. He told her about his days as a druggie, going to rehab, becoming a cop, and about his family. Sara's heart grew as she heard him talk about his wedding and having a daughter. It gave her hope for her own future. Her brother had overcome the past and was happy now and it seemed his whole family was happy and healthy.
They kept the conversation light, mainly talking about various friends they had made and accomplishments they had achieved but there was a feeling of regret between them. They both wanted to have known the other for the past 20 years. Sara wished she could have been at her brother's wedding; he wanted to have attended her graduations, both high school and Harvard.
He asked her about the man in her life that Brass had mentioned. She wasn't ready to talk about her and Grissom because they weren't really together yet and they had parted on pretty bad terms that morning so she told him there wasn't really anyone. Brass just told him that because he likes to protect him. She could him how Brass is like a father figure to her. She told him about her coworkers and how they were like her family. He was sort of jealous because he wanted to be the one to protect her but he was glad that she had a support system around her.
After a long time Sara started to yawn. Contrary to what her coworkers thought about her she did need at least a couple hours of sleep a day. Jeremy noticed her yawning and felt bad again.
"You must be so tired. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have talked so much you must be exhausted."
"Well, if I go now will I see you again?" She didn't want to tell her brother that she needed him but she did. She couldn't see him once and then never again. She wanted him in her live. Having him around always made her feel safe.
"Of course you will. I am suspended for two weeks. We were planning on staying in Vegas for a week but we will extend our stay." Jeremy was thinking that he wanted to relocate his family to Vegas to be closer to Sara. He didn't have too many close friends in Seattle since he got transferred their but he would have to talk to Heather first so he didn't want to tell Sara anything yet.
"OK then I will go home to sleep and see you later." Sara gave him her number and he promised to call later.
XXXXX
As she was driving home she couldn't believe how good she felt. She finally had a family. She had the chance to be normal. Maybe they would invite her to Seattle on holidays and then she wouldn't have to spend them alone or working. That was what she wanted the most people who cared enough about you to invite you over for the holidays. That would be nice.
When she pulled into her parking stall she was thankful she had the night off. The afternoon with her brother had been draining. She was ready to throw on her pajamas and try to get some sleep. Maybe she would have pleasant dreams. She was surprised when she saw Grissom sitting outside the door to her apartment.
"You're back," he said as she walked by.
"Yup." She opened the door and he followed her in. She was unsure of why he was there. If he was going to yell at her or give her a lecture about leaving work this morning she definitely did not want to hear it. Her day with her brother had been really good for her. She felt strangely at ease after the conversation. She had a family now and no matter what she knew her brother would always be there for her. It was a comforting feeling.
Quite unlike the feeling that she had right now waiting for Grissom to say something. Grissom had just followed her in. He hadn't said anything yet and she was getting nervous. She would have liked to have talked to him about her brother but she didn't want his sympathy. She wanted him to be happy for her but she also wanted him to acknowledge that he was being silly that morning. She wished he would have trusted her at the crime scene. She was hurt that he didn't ask her what went on; instead he just jumped down her throat.
They had made their way to her living room and were sitting in silence until Grissom finally spoke up.
"Sara, I'm sorry." Wow that wasn't what she was expecting at all. "I shouldn't have been such a jerk this morning. You have every right to leave on time in fact you should do it more often." He was going to stop there but decided to continue for reasons he wasn't even sure of . "And I'm also sorry about sending you away from the crime scene. I shouldn't have let my personal issues get in the way of my professionalism,"
"Personal issues?" Sara was amazed at Grissom's openness. He had been more open with her recently but never had he admitted he has feelings for her. She was anxious to see if he would elaborate on his statement.
"Yeah. I was jealous of that guy. Sometimes I like to believe that we are together and when I see you talking to other guys it just reminds me that we aren't." As soon as the words left his mouth he wanted to take them back. He couldn't believe he had just said that to her. He was so scared of losing her he blurted it out and now she was going to be mad.
He risked a glance at her and noticed she had tears in her eyes. I am such an ass.
"Griss, you are so sweet." The look on his face was of sheer panic. She thought it was very cute and she wanted to kiss it away. "We probably need to talk about our relationship. Maybe if it was more defined we wouldn't have these misunderstandings. And you should know Gil that I was not flirting with that guy."
He was too concerned with the aforementioned conversation to notice she called him Gil. Had he been paying attention that alone would have made up for the stupid things he had said.
"Ok, so our relationship?" He didn't know what she wanted to say and he was kinda scared to find out.
"Well, I think we should stop living in the grey. It will only cause more confusion."
"What are you suggesting?"
" I think either you should ask me to go out with you or we should just be friends." Sara knew what she wanted and she was pretty sure Grissom was aware of her thoughts on the subject. She just needed him to agree.
Grissom got up from the chair he was sitting in causing Sara to momentarily think that she had scared him away. However he sat don beside her and held her face in his hand.
He very sweetly asked, "Sara, will you go out with me?"
"Of course I will." She couldn't believe how good this day was turning out to be. She got her brother whom she hadn't talked to in over twenty years and the man she'd been in love with for over five.
Grissom moved in slowly to kiss her. He wanted to give her time to move away if she didn't want him to. She did though and they found themselves kissing for several minutes until she pulled away and stood up. She grabbed his hand and led him to her bedroom. They stopped just before the door.
"Are you sure this ok? I don't want you to move to fast."
"Grissom five years in slow enough for me. So unless you want to wait…" She said while casting a downward glance in his direction.
"I think it's obvious what I want."
XXXXX
Heather and Jeremy were lying in bed snuggled up and he was telling her all about Sara. She was getting sleepy but he was so excited he kept on talking.
"I want to move to Vegas?"
"What?" Now she was more awake
"I don't want to leave again. Our whole lives I have been leaving her behind. I don't want to anymore. I want to live in the same city as her and be able o see her every week and have her call me whenever she needs anything. I could probably transfer pretty easy and Sara has connections with the LVPD so she could check out if there are any jobs for me."
Heather could tell by the wishful tone in his voice that this was something he really wanted to do and had probably been thinking about since he found her.
"I don't think I want Brittany to grow up in Vegas."
"It won't be that bad we can live in the suburbs." He knew she was probably right but Brittany would be okay. She had family to love her and protect her. Sara had no one.
Heather was tired and she didn't want to dismiss his ideas without any thought but she didn't want to agree either so she just told him she would think about it.
He went to sleep happy.
XXXXX
When Sara woke up she realized she was sleeping in Grissom's arms. He was already awake and looking at her.
"Morning." He smiled at her and gave her cheek a kiss.
She rolled over so that she was half lying on him. She was content to just rest there while he stroked her spine.
"You know that guy, the one I was talking to at the crime scene?" She asked quietly so he could barely hear. She didn't want to break the spell but she also didn't want him to believe she just flirted with random guys.
"I remember him," he replied while wondering why she was talking about other men while they lay naked in her bed.
"He's my brother." She whispered into his chest as though saying it would make it untrue. She didn't want Grissom to think that she even willing to entertain the advances of another man. She wanted to be with him and only him.
"I thought you didn't know your brother." He had learned about her family in the brief things she said.
"This morning was the first time I have seen him in over twenty years."
He tried to pull her away from him so he could look into her eyes but she wouldn't look at him. She didn't want him to read her mind. Grissom couldn't help but feel awful. He was upset with her because she talked to the brother she hadn't seen for decades. Her only family and he got angry.
"Sara I am so sorry. I never should have sent you away or been mad at you. I can't believe I did that."
She finally looked him in the eyes. "Ok, so you have to work on your supervising skills a little but I'm no longer mad. I just wanted you to know." Before he could continue with his apologies she continued to talk. "I went to see him today and he is married with a three year old daughter. He is an officer in Seattle and he is really happy."
"That's wonderful. I am thrilled for both of you."
"Me too," she said as she drifted back to sleep with a smile on her face for the first time in years.
TBC
AN: Thanks so much for everyone who has reviewed it means so much to me. Sorry for the delay in this chapter but I hoped you enjoyed it.