After they had calmed down, Jeremy thought it would be a good time to mention Laura, and see if Sara was receptive to her.

"Sara, when was the last time you saw Mom?"

"When I was 14. They made me visit her while she was in the mental hospital and after that I went once to visit her in prison. Finally, I would just refuse to go when my social worker would come to get me. After two tries she just gave up.

"Have you thought about going to visit her recently?"

"No." Sara stopped to study Jeremy's face. Why was he asking her about their mother? "Have you seen her?"

"Yes, I visit her whenever I can. Sara, she wants to see you too. She feels horrible and she wants to make sure you are okay. She's a totally different person now."

Sara now had tears in her eyes threatening to fall. How could Jeremy be so calm about this? They were talking about the woman who refused to protect her own children. The woman who murdered her husband, the father of her children.

"Well, I don't want to see her. I've spent 20 years of my life trying to forget what happened in the first 12. I'm having a hard enough time with you being here. I don't need to see her as well."

Jeremy recoiled as if he had been hit. "Do you want me not to move here? I didn't realize that I was causing you problems." He was so confused. Sara had said on numerous occasions that she was happy that he was here. He thought that she was happy as well, he thought he could see the happiness in her eyes. Sara had always been good at fronting, but he could usually tell. I guess in twenty years you could lose your touch.

"No, Jeremy! I want you here. It's just I have tried to ignore the fact that I had a messed up childhood for so long and with you back in my life, which I think is awesome, I am just realizing that I can't forget what happened and that the others are going to find out and that won't be pleasant. I am not ashamed of you or of what happened. It's just I don't want people to pity me or treat any different because they know. That has happened all my life. Here, I'm just normal. I get no pity or special treatment."

"OK, If you say so."

"I do," tears started to build up in Sara's eyes again, "Jeremy, it means so much to me that you are here and I wouldn't give it up for anything in the world. Please believe me!"

"Sara, I do. I guess I am just a little concerned myself that you may still be mad at me for leaving you behind. It makes me nervous that you are still angry with mom for not protecting you when I did the same thing."

"It's not just about the years of abuse," Sara admitted. "It more about the day she killed dad. It still haunts me."

XXXXX

Twelve year old Sara ran from the bus to her home. She was soo excited to show her mother her report card. She had gotten straight A's which wasn't something that was unusual for Sara. She was excited because of her teacher's comments. Mrs. Green had wrote that Sara was perhaps the most gifted child she had ever taught. And her teacher was no spring chicken. Sara was eager and she thought that her mom would be proud of her. Laura had been in a bad mood all week and Sara thought the report card would cheer her up.

She ran into the house to show her mother. She found her in the kitchen making dinner. Sara ran up to hug her mother from behind. Her mother forcefully removed Sara's hands from around her waist and told her not to touch her.

Sara just stood there, her bottom lip quivering. Usually her father pushed her away and not her mom. She was confused.

"I just wanted to show you..."

"Sara, I am tired. I don't want to deal with you right now. GO to your room."

"What? Why?"

"NOW!"

Sara ran into her room and cried her self to sleep on her bed. She was awoken with a knock on her door. Her father opened it and moved to sit beside her. He could tell she had been crying and he pulled her up into sitting position. She was scared about what would happen next. After all her mother had yelled at her, who knew what her father would do?

Her father just pulled her into a hug and eventually she was settled in his lap, crying on his shoulder. He was rubbing her back in attempt to get her to calm down.

"Sara, sweetie, what's wrong?" Her father wasn't always a horrible man, and when he wasn't angry he was very loving.

Sara continued to cry until she had calmed herself down enough to tell her father why she was upset, "I got my report card today," she said between snuffles.

"It can't be that bad, did you get a 'B'?" her father joked. Sara was much smarter than either of her parents or brother had been in school and her parents never really pushed her. The drive to get good grades came from with in Sara.

Her father reached over Sara and retrieved the report card from where she had placed it on her nightstand. He took a minute to read it over as Sara continued to cry on his shoulder. When he was done he shifted her so that she was looking into his eyes.

"Sara, this report card is wonderful. I am very proud of you."

"Thanks," she mumbled. Why couldn't her mother have just said that.

"So tell me honey, why is it that you are crying, because it can't be over this?"

Sara let the whole story about her excitement and her mother's coldness pour out while her father listened. He then stood her up and wiped her tears.

"OK. We are going downstairs. Grab your report card. We will show it to mommy, ok?"

Sara picked up her report card and took her dad's hand and together they walked down the stairs. Her mother was just setting dinner on the table.

"Oh good you are here. Supper's ready." She didn't even seem to notice that Sara was crying

"Laura, Sara has something she wants to show you." Her father's voice had transformed from the caring man that comforted her upstairs to the monster he often became.

Both Sara and Laura looked up in fright. Her dad just nodded towards Sara while looking at Laura. She took the report card that Sara offered and smiled as she read it.

"Good work," she said as she gave Sara a hug.

They had dinner without incident and it wasn't until Sara was in bed that she heard them fighting about it. Her father was yelling at her mother and her mother was yelling back. Sara heard a hand make contact with skin and she ran downstairs just in time to she her mother stab her father multiple times.

XXXXX

"I guess I can't forgive mom because I was so mad at her that day. It hurt so much to realize that she didn't love me either. When I was in foster care, I would go visit her at the mental hospital where she was pretending to have some sort of mental disease. That whole week she was planning on killing him. Looking back, I know that she planning to kill him all week long. It was all a lie. She killed our father! She couldn't plan a way to leave, but she planned to kill him."

"Whether she planned to kill him or not, doesn't matter Sara. That was in the past. She killed him for both of you. Yes, dad could be caring at times but he was abusive to all of us. He deserved to die. Mom is sorry and she just wants to see you."

Sara was in tears again. She couldn't remember the last time she had cried so much. She got up to head to her room.

"Dad did not deserve to die. He just needed help. I loved him as much as I hated him. I loved mom. I didn't want to be alone. I going to bed now."

With that she shut the door to her room and left Jeremy by himself in the living room.

XXXXX

Grissom got off work and headed home to his empty townhouse. He wanted so badly to go see Sara but he knew she was with her brother. He didn't think Jeremy knew about him and he didn't want to make a mistake to anger her.

After taking a shower and eating some breakfast he decided to call her. He picked up his phone to dial and put it back down. What was he going to say when she picked up? After a mini-debate in his head he eventually entered one and speed dial and waited for her to pick up.

"Sidle," she answered.

"Hey, it's me are you asleep?" The concern in his voice sent another wave of tears through her body.

"Almost."

"Are you okay? Have you been crying? Are you hurt?" He could tell in her voice that all was not right.

"Griss, I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine. What's wrong honey?"

Sara paused for a second. She was decided on whether to tell him the truth or lie. Grissom could clearly tell she was upset and she needed to calm his nerves as well as her on.

"I had a fight with Jeremy."

"What did he hit you?" Grissom was so angry. He couldn't believe her brother.

"NO. Jeremy isn't like that. We just had a disagreement. Actually, I think I was crueler to him than he was to me. I guess I am just a little emotional."

"I am going to come over."

"No don't. I mean don't worry about me. I'm okay."

"Sara," Grissom warned, "I want to see you to make sure you are okay for myself. And because I miss you," he added almost like a whisper.

"Okay." She probably would have argued more but he missed her and that was enough for her.

"See you in a few."

XXXXX

Grissom drove to Sara's house as quickly as he could. He would often have nightmares about her death especially after the Debbie Marlin. He knew his sleep would be haunted with images of her in pain if he didn't at least go see her and comfort her.

He walked up to the door of her apartment and knocked.

He was surprised to see Jeremy answer the door instead of Sara.

"Dr. Grissom, what are you doing here?" The name was said with such distain as Jeremy stood blocking his entry. This would not be easy. He never thought about having Jeremy disprove of their relationship.

TBC