Disclaimer – I do not own or profit from Saiyuki. This is rated M for sexual themes, non-con, naughty language, and gratuitous yaoi. Also, there be SPOILERS for Reload here. Just so's you know; in case you didn't figure it out by now. ('grin')

This chapter is dedicated to Ditch Gospel, whose reviews never fail to make me smile. See? I'm smiling right now, just thinking about them. ('smile')

Also? Blame darthelwig if you hate this fic. 'Tis her fault and all. ...as usual. Heh.

And in case any of you Saiyuki fans reading this right now have read my other ongoing saiyuki fic(s), I'm hoping to finish up new chapter(s) soon. I apologize for the looooong delay. ('bows')

Anyway, enjoy. Peace, all.

OxOxO

Fall of Shadows

Chapter Three – That Blinds Your Eyes

by Ghost Helwig

OxOxO

Yaone was apologetic, but adamant. She had no idea where Genjyo Sanzo had been taken. She would not help them look for him. She was very sorry.

Hakkai left her tied up to a tree. He was very sorry.

So they followed Goku's nose, followed their own trail back to where Kougaiji's men had attacked them because Goku couldn't smell Sanzo anywhere.

And Sanzo had always been the one to hear him calling. Not the other way around. If they were to find Sanzo, they would have to do it the hard way.

When they'd finally gotten away and made it back to the place where they'd been ambushed (the scene of their betrayal), Goku quickly confirmed their worst fears – not far from there, in a deeply forested area on a small little ridge, Sanzo's scent disappeared from the earth.

(They'd taken the sun into the air, where the earth child could not follow.)

They were still digesting their despair when a flash of gray sliced through the air and remained hovering before the eyes of a startled Hakkai. And with only a few telltale 'kuu's, Hakkai told them what he knew the dragon (his dragon, who had inexplicably found him once again) well enough to have figured out.

Hakuryu had followed the other flying dragon. He'd followed their kidnapped leader until he'd seen where they were taking him. Then he'd returned here, knowing they'd eventually make their way to him.

As Goku grabbed the surprised dragon in a fierce hug and proclaimed loudly that at their very next stop, he'd share a meatbun with him (which was quickly changed to a spring roll, not that the delighted Hakuryu seemed to mind), Hakkai and Gojyo shared a small, tense, unforgiving smile.

Their dragon had found their missing brother-

But it was up to them to bring him home.

-o-x-o-

.Dokugakuji had always prided himself on his control. Don't yell at your mother when she terrifies your little brother – don't yell at your little brother when he does stupid things that he should know better than to do because they'll upset your mother – don't scream at Lirin when she blatantly disobeys rules that are in place to keep her safe – don't leer at Yaone, who's had more than her fair share of that already – don't take Kougaiji by the shoulders and shake him just to get him to see that he's already got a family, right here-

But Sanzo, with insulting ease and without even trying, was quickly slaughtering that veneer of control.

Who's the rapist here, me or you?

Because those slim hips that thrust towards him of their own volition (but out of Sanzo's control), those vibrant cries he could force out of the monk's mouth just by hitting the right spot inside him (but Sanzo doesn't want to moan, or cry out, he wants to be silent, he wants to die), they were driving him mad.

And he kept stroking, kept time with his own thrusts – because somehow, he'd become convinced (had convinced himself) that if he just did this right – whatever that was – he would be sparing Sanzo somehow.

Sanzo would call him foolish. But Dokugakuji was just doing what he could to protect him, however little that was.

I will protect you I can't save you But I will protect you –

He moved a little faster, thrust a little harder. And when he knew his orgasm was fast approaching he did what he'd been wanting to do from the beginning-

He kissed Sanzo, so hard and deep and long that he almost didn't realize he'd come inside him at the same time-

Until he felt Sanzo spilling over his hand.

We came together-

And then, before he could even gather his wits, teeth.

He jerked away, which was a mistake – Sanzo's teeth had been biting down so hard that a small piece of the flesh of his bottom lip got left behind in that snarling mouth. In fact, those lips were set in a firm, hard line-

Sanzo was... obviously displeased. Actually, he looks fucking pissed.

"S-sanzo-"

"Bastard!" Sanzo was practically growling at him; Dokugakuji blinked stupidly. Funny how he hadn't expected this, even from the famously furious monk...

"You just had to try fucking with my head, too, huh? Prick. Not even your brother would be so goddamn perverted-"

"Wait a minute," Dokugakuji interrupted; he could hear Kougaiji's impatient foot-tapping start up behind him, and it startled him briefly. He'd forgotten anyone else was there. All he'd been aware of was silky moonlight skin and snapping violet eyes and swaying golden sunlight and heat, such heat from such a cold stone...

He shook himself mentally, forced his mind back on track so he could go on – so he could explain.

"I was just trying to help you, dammit," he said, unable to help, to curb his own half-snarled tone. "I thought maybe if I-"

"Help me?" Sanzo scoffed. "You were trying to help me? Gods, you are his brother – only someone related to the kappa could be so goddamn stupid."

Dokugakuji bristled, but before he could say anything, Sanzo's low, angry voice was filling his ears once again.

"Don't you dare try to rationalize this away, asshole. You ra – did this. If you couldn't accept that, then you shouldn't have fucking done it."

Dokugakuji stared. Through the haze of broken grief and growing, throat-clogging guilt, one thought crystallized:

That is not a normal man.

But as Sanzo turned his head away, light caught, glistened in one darkened eye.

Sanzo was human. Inescapably - regrettably - so.

Would it have changed anything, had you been born youkai? You wouldn't be here, that's for certain – no youkai could ever be a Sanzo priest.

Kougaiji shifted behind him, and suddenly Dokugakuji was very, very aware of his nakedness. He pulled away further-

And felt something wet slide down his leg.

He knew what it was before he looked. And sure enough, crimson (like Gojyo's hair) was sliding down his thigh from the place where he'd been encased in warm heat-

And suddenly, he looked at Sanzo with new eyes.

He peered through the gloom, catching things, little things, he hadn't noticed before (whether because of shock or indifference he didn't know, didn't even want to guess).

Like the claw marks running up and down Sanzo's body. Did I do those? Did Kou? It had to be one of us, no one else would touch him like this-

We should never have touched him like this.

And when he looked even closer, bent over Sanzo's body in order to see better (did Sanzo flinch away from him? No, that must've been just in his head), he saw something that shocked and upset him so badly, he recoiled with a startled oath-

And thought he might be sick all over the man he'd just spent a while (too long) violating.

There's blood – a lot of blood – all over his wrists... He was fighting, this whole time...

He stared at Sanzo with his eyes wide, unseeing... disbelieving.

He was fighting, but... the bonds were so tight... I...

I didn't see him moving at all.

"S-sanzo," he whispered, "I... I'm so..."

"Apologize," Sanzo rasped, "and I'll kill you."

-o-x-o-

"But why do this?" Kougaiji asked, and for just a moment, he sounded so like himself Dokugakuji's heart leapt. But the cold violet eyes that watched Ni Jianyi, awaiting his answer, quickly nipped that feeling of relief in the bud.

Ni smiled, and a shiver crept its insidious way up Dokugakuji's spine. He was suddenly immensely glad that Yaone was off finishing the preparations for their assault (our goddamned cowardly ambush) on the Sanzo party later on that afternoon.

"Isn't it obvious?" Ni asked in that creepy way of his, that was both purring amusement and biting sarcasm, as though he laughed at you while calling you worthless (which he basically did). "Once we get the Sutra in our hands, what better way to ensure that Sanzo and his followers never darken our horizon again? After all, who could bear to face off with their," he licked his lips, smiling again, "violators?"

If anyone could, Dokugakuji thought through his rising nausea and still-not-abating shock, it would probably be Genjyo Sanzo.

But he wasn't sure whether or not he actually thought that was true.

"Wouldn't it be easier just to kill him?" he asked through cold, numb lips (that felt like nothing more than useless appendages right now, tiny slices of meat; they couldn't save him, couldn't help him, nothing he said would make any difference at all).

"I don't know," Ni said smoothly, voice a pure, purely feral grin, "it seems to me you've been having an awful lot of trouble killing them so far."

Bastard.

What would you have me do, kill my brother? Is that – would that be enough to appease you sick fucks?

"Besides," Ni went on blithely, "this way is just more fun."

While Dokugakuji fought with the urge to kill him – and the equally strong urge to vomit – Ni smiled and asked, "don't you agree?"

Dokugakuji could feel his mouth opening, preparing to say something bitter-evil-and-oh-so-true about Ni and his 'question' (maybe something along the lines of the fuck it's fun you goddamn smarmy, sick, evil bastard with a fucking bunny fetish!), but before he could speak Kougaiji was barking orders at him, telling him to leave Ni alone so they could get started on their trip. This new Kougaiji really hated wasting time.

And as Dokugakuji was walking away behind his prince, he turned back just in time to see Ni give them both a cheery wave and whisper something in his bunny companion's ear, dark eyes glinting maliciously, dark hair shining in the unnatural light of the hallway. Ni was still fucking smiling.

Goddamn immoral fuck.

...funny, how Dokugakuji could no longer tell if he was talking about Ni-

Or what he was about to do.

...well, maybe not funny.

-o-x-o-

They walked outside the tent, and with a sigh of relief Dokugakuji breathed in the cool night air. He hadn't realized it had gotten so late; but then, they had been in there a while...

"So," he said quickly, when it appeared Kougaiji was about to walk away, "what now, Kou? We've got the Sutra. What do we do with him?" And with that, he jerked a finger behind him at the tent, just so there was no way Kougaiji could miss his meaning. As if it's not completely obvious who I mean...

Kougaiji glanced uninterestedly in the direction his finger had pointed, then turned away again. Dokugakuji thought he was being ignored, and for just a second, just that one second, he was so pissed off at Kougaiji he was horrified with himself-

Until Kougaiji gave him another reason to be horrified altogether.

"Listen up, men," he said loudly, catching the attention of just about every member of their small troop, "one at a time, I'm going to allow you to 'entertain' our guest. Consider it a reward for good service from myself and the Lady Gyokumen Koushu."

Dokugakuji felt the bottom drop out of his stomach.

As the men cheered – and, in many cases, leered – Dokugakuji turned wounded, disbelieving eyes to his 'lord'.

"Kou," he said, trying not to beg, wishing his voice didn't sound so breathless and weak, "you can't do this. Please... Not even to our enemy. C'mon, Kou..."

Kougaiji looked at him, expressionless, and his very indifference hurt more than anything else ever could have.

As Kougaiji walked off to pick out the first man to receive his 'gift', Dokugakuji turned back around, staring blindly at the tent flaps that hid... his enemy-victim-the-man-he-couldn't-help-but-sympathize-with.

He wanted to say-do-think something that would help Sanzo, help him. But once again, there was a young man (brother, my brother, I'm sorry) being broken right in front of him, and he couldn't do a thing. Not a thing.

I couldn't save Gojyo – can't save Sanzo – never save anyone-

I could never even save myself.

--End Chapter Three--