Lying is horrible to do to someone else but yet lying at the most hurts one's self thinking that all along that they had the right intentions while they were really wrong. I am ashamed to say that three weeks have gone by and yet I refuse to tell any of those who dance with me. They believe that I am happy as ever just at times quiet which they understand. None of them know the real reason I smile to them. The tears are hiding behind the smile I show.
I have refused to tell Jeremy much well really anything at all and that was that. After a week Jeremy dropped the subject realizing that I wouldn't say much but then it all changed.
Jeremy exclaimed to the dancers in the studio "The show's opening is tonight ladies and gents. Let's give this rehearsal as though it was the show and let's move it!" (Jeremy is the manager in a way)
Everyone cheered and began changing into their leotards while busy chatting. I changed quietly, placing the leotard over my tights Jeremy click his tongue impatiently at me. I looked up at me.
"Anzu time's ticking gone. Let's go sweetheart there is a rehearsal waiting for you."
"ahh that's sweet Jeremy but just wait two damn seconds."
He looked quiet put out and lashed back at me "What is your problem? You either a really quiet girl or pissed off girl lately. What is it?
"Nothing, I am ready. I don't wanna hold up your precious show any longer."
The rehearsal was fine but everyone kinda looked at me as though I would bite their heads off which I probably would but I couldn't care knowing that opening night would come and no one would be there.
So as 8 o'clock ticked closer I sat in front of my mirror putting my hair in a bun while a girl did my make up.
Jeremy walked over to me "How's the princess?"
"Hahaha very funny I am ready to perform. Happy?"
"Yep and by the way that seat I left open for your friend is still open but if he is a no show, can I sell the seat? A lot of people want it, you know right up close to the best ballerina ever."
"Fine I don't care what you do." Truly I did care but it didn't matter, all that matter I put on a good performance.
The show started off great. Everyone performed beyond their limits even I did for a while but right into the second act something happened. As my partner Raoul lifted me up and I spun my head towards the seat I saw that it remained empty but then when I spun around the next second someone was sitting there and the next gone. What was going on?
As I changed my costume I glanced at Jeremy and made contact with his eyes and he came over. "Yeah what?"
"By chance did you sell that seat?"
"No I was kind to left it open but no one showed but this came" and with that he held a rose out, a yellow rose for loyalty.
"Who sent it?"
"Anzu I don't have all the answers just get move on, your up next."
I bustled off and began dancing once again and just for a quick second as my head relaxed I focused my eyes over to the seat and then my soul jumped I guess you could say. There he was sitting there tapping his foot and smiling…… and that's all I remembered and the next moment I saw Jeremy's face and other dancers looking quite panicked.
"Hey? You ok you collapsed." I realized the show had ended because of me collapsing
I didn't care but I asked "Did you sell that seat?"
"No Anzu I keep telling you know one has shown. Just give us heart attacks why don't you? Let me or someone take you home."
I still couldn't believe it I saw him sitting there. I saw him sitting there so I just didn't understand how he could be there.
"Thanks I'll go home on my own."
"Hell no my friend, you need some help. Do pray tell me how you would get home being half delusional?"
I couldn't argue as I still questioned the seat and the next moment I know Jeremy put on my coat and walked me to a cab. As he called out to the cab driver my address my mind shut down and I awoke in front of my apartment building with fear in my mind knowing what my apartment looked like.
As I turned my key in the door I told him I was fine but he insisted on helping me in. I pleaded in my mind just to go but he didn't. I flicked my lights on and to his horror he saw my messy hole I call home.
It was normally neat but lately I just didn't seem to care. The coffee table was littered with magazines and tissues. The sink overflowed with dirty dishes and half empty glasses. Sweatshirts and socks scattered the floor. My answering machine blinked anxiously with unanswered messages. Dead flowers lay in a vase and most photographs lay face down. Jeremy looked around in astonishment. I shrugged threw off my coat and
slammed the door towards the bathroom.
The hot water flowed down my back, down my face, down my hair, down all my fears and all my hurts. The hot water continued to flow as I scrubbed my hair with shampoo. I started humming feeling relaxed in the shower. The shower was always the best place to unwind and feel better. Outside the door Jeremy had decided to investigate my mess of my home.
He cleaned up the table and opened the dishwasher and started loading it. Next he started folding blankets and strewn clothing then he came to the pictures. He flipped all the pictures over face up and saw they held the same boy smiling , laughing, just being himself. You know the saying Curiosity killed the cat well Jeremy was just that cat who would be killed.
As I turned off the shower head I heard the beeping of the answering machine. I know knew that Jeremy remained here and had pushed play. I jumped out of the shower, flung my robe around me and sprang out of the bathroom. He wouldn't hear anything of the past three weeks. As I rushed out I heard fluently Japanese one point, the next English and even at times Egyptian. They had all tried to call me with desperate pleas while I ignored them. I stormed towards to Jeremy, placed my finger on erase and erased all messages. I pointed my finger told the door and said out.
Jeremy "What is the matter with you? Why can't you just tell me what's up?"
"Nothing ok."
"Don't play stupid with me Anzu don't lie. I know things when I see them. Those pictures of your friend are all face down. Something happened but yet you won't tell me." With that he held out a photo that he had flipped over before.
I snatched the photo from his hands and stormed off.
Jeremy snapped "Anzu just give up. Ever since you got home you have been facing a losing battle which you know you can't win so just give in and just tell."
My eyes which I forced not to tear did "Shut up! Shut the hell up Jeremy. Why should I give in? I am not ready to give up on him, not ready to forget.
Jeremy had a quizzical look on his face, playing a dumbstruck card.
"I hate you Jeremy. My friend", I said pointing to the picture "He died ok? He's dead and that's the answer you have been looking for. At the dance show I saw him in the seat and he can't be there because he is dead, dead. You see now I don't wanna fight this battle anymore but I have to."
Jeremy began to speak but then there was a knock on the door, we both confused looks and with that he walked over to open the door.
CLIFFHANGER! REVIEWAND YOU WILL SEE!