Learn to Live Again
1. Same Difference
The sun rose lazily through the firmament, dying it with golden and ruby tones. Birds began singing shyly, as if they feared to wake up everybody with their songs.
People got up anyways, not because of the birds' melodies, but for their noisy alarm clocks. Mondays were always full of curses, sleepyheads and delays. If only Sundays lasted a few more hours… maybe a few more weeks…
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Just ten more minutes…
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Ok, just five…
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Fine! I'll get up… thought a light-blue haired girl, as she set off her white alarm clock with her left hand, eyes closed. She yawned and rubbed her eyes as she got up. Outside the colors were shifting as the sun rays reached the half-opened window of the girl's room.
The name of the girl was Rei Ayanami.
Rei studied in the local school, which wasn't too far away her home. In fact, she used to walk to school everyday, watching the landscapes, listening to the birds singing and observing the other people's behaviors. She hardly ever opened her mouth or hummed any song: the girl preferred to listen. Always listen.
Not many people knew her, besides her classmates. She never went to discos or to shops, unless she really needed to buy something. Instead, she frequented the library, where reigned peace and quiet. She loved art. It didn't matter whether it was art, theatre or music, Rei would silently enjoy them.
The girl walked lost in her thoughts. Her surroundings ignored her, as usual. She seemed almost invisible to the world, even to her relatives. School was no different: she didn't have friends and her grades were average. A few teachers who knew her sometimes told her that she would be better if she only concentrated a bit more on their subjects, but she ignored them. Why? She thought school and almost everything was boring.
The few subjects she really liked were music, literature and English. But today she only had English, along with the other boring lessons: maths, physics, chemistry.
Sighing, she walked into her classroom which happened to be almost empty. The only people who arrived early (like her) were Hikari Horaki, the class delegate, Asuka Langley, an arrogant and noisy girl, and Shinji Ikari, a shy and strange guy.
"Morning, Ayanami." Greeted Hikari, half a smile in her face. As the person in charge of the class, she treated everyone equally, except for one person: Touji Suzuhara, the school bully.
"Hi." replied Rei and went to her seat. She took out of her bag the book she had been reading recently and erased the world around her.
Two seats to her right sat Shinji, who gave her quick and shy glances. He always seemed absent and didn't like to talk to anyone unless it was necessary, and was always picked by Touji for being so 'odd'. Next to him was Asuka, who was talking to Hikari about her great projects and abilities. That was Asuka, reminding the world that she was special and too important to live with such common people around her.
"I'm sure this year I'll get the highest marks, Hikari! But don't worry, I'll give you some opportunities too…" the conversation went on and on, but only Hikari was listening. Asuka was so different from the rest…
But Rei was the most different, mysterious and silent. Nobody knew anything about her or her life…
Soon other students arrived and the bell rang, announcing the arrival of the day's lessons.
"Attention, class!" roared the science professor, Ritsuko Akagi "Today we'll begin with a little project, which may be finished for next week. So choose a partner and take notes. You will investigate…" and she went on giving instructions about an apparently never-ending research about the latest developments of science in relation to medicine and health in general.
"Like we need to know that…" muttered Touji, who had arrived late for class, yet again. He never cared about any subject and managed to get the lowest marks. Many times he went to see the principal, due to his terrible behavior.
"Shut up!" hissed his best friend, Kensuke Aida, who always found science quite enjoyable. "This is simply great!"
Touji gave him a little punch, clearly annoyed. Kensuke loved unusual and weird things. Whenever they went to the cinema, they would only watch sci-fi films. He also had many models of planes, yets and space ships all over his room. A particular guy, he was. How come they were friend, being so different?
A few minutes later everyone was paired with somebody, except for Rei. The girl didn't even bother to take her eyes off her book, which was hidden behind her desk. She didn't look up until she felt a light touch on her shoulder. She looked to her right, to find two brown eyes staring at her.
"Ayanami. You don't have a partner, do you?" Hikari smiled. "You can come with me and Asuka if you want. The professor says we can form a little group of three if anyone's left alone."
"… Ok."
Asuka stood a few steps away and eyed Rei cautiously, as if it was the first time she saw her.
"Hikari, are you sure?" she whispered to her friend, who just nodded. "I mean, who knows her? Maybe she won't do anything… or worse, ruin our precious and perfect work…!" she was cut off by the delegate.
"Calm down, Asuka! I'm sure she will help!" that was Hikari, always optimistic.
The day went on, following the same routine: Rei getting lost in her books and thoughts, Asuka wanting everyone to notice her intelligence, Hikari taking care of important class matters, Shinji hiding from people, Touji causing trouble and Kensuke trying to calm him down. The others were just too normal.
At lunch the students usually gathered in the campus, forming little groups and chatting happily. All but Rei.
She went to her secret spot, which was behind some trees and bushes, and sat silently. She had taken her book with her, but left it by her side –she needed to eat first-.
Her lunch consisted of some vegetables and chicken, another routine. She sometimes ate fish and rice, but it depended on what she found in the fridge the previous night.
Rei thought about her home. It was always silent and static. Her parents were never around and she had learned to do everything by herself. Always concentrating on her life and never letting anyone in it…
Everything had been alright, but now she was feeling something different. As if…
"Do you come here to think about life, or to escape from everyone else?" a voice interrupted her thoughts.
"Who's there?" she spoke, surprised. Had somebody found her secret place? Or had she been followed?
"Just me." A slim figure appeared from behind the nearest tree. It was a boy. A tall, silver-haired boy. What the heck?, thought Rei, is he from our school? I haven't seen him before… he seems odd…
"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." The boy said, smiling at her.
"What are you doing here?" the girl demanded.
"Well, I was about to ask you the same. Since everyone is having lunch out there in groups, seeing somebody alone makes me curious. And I was just passing by and found you…" he sat next to her.
Rei began feeling odd, as nobody really cared for what she did, or at least, never asked her directly. As far as she remembered, she had always seemed invisible to the rest, and getting used to it didn't help at all. But now…
"So, do you come here just to think?"
"…" the girl remained silent, studying him with her crimson eyes. She didn't smile either. She never did.
He, however, kept smiling, patiently waiting for her answer.
"That's… none of your busyness." Rei stated and got up to leave, not noticing the book she had left on the ground. "Bye."
The boy saw the book and took it, but when he tried to spot the girl she was gone.
"Hamlet?" he thought out loud, reading the title "then she actually likes literature…" and smiling, he took the tome to his next class.
Rei arrived way too early for her last two periods. English waited for her. She took her seat and searched in her bag for her folder and pencil box.
'That guy...' she thought 'he has the same eyes as me… but at the same time they are so… different…'
All her classmates arrived ten minutes later, chatting and laughing. After everyone sat, the English teacher arrived.
Her name was Misato Katsuragi, and was quite young for the profession. With her 29 years, she was always cheerful and lively. Her purple hair matched her brown eyes, and her smile captivated every single one of her male students. Girls found her either annoying or friendly, but generally Misato had no problems with anyone.
"Ok, class, have you got your books?" she began, sitting on her desk "remember that the exam you're taking in eight months is quite important and I don't want any of you to fail."
"God, she's sooooo gorgeous…" drooled Touji, never taking his eyes off her. Four seats on the front, Hikari and Asuka frowned.
"How can he be so stupid?" whispered the brunette to her friend.
"I don't know… you know he's an idiot." stated Asuka, glaring at the teacher.
Rei was the first one to take her English book and paid attention to every word Misato said. She also took notes and felt quite optimistic when the class ended. The first exams would begin in four weeks and she was looking forward to them. When the bell rang, she and Shinji were the last ones who left the classroom.
Boys and girls chatted everywhere, planning meetings and parties, or just talking about their interests. Rei, unlike everyone, had nobody to greet or say 'see you tomorrow', but she was already used to that.
Walking slowly and observing her surroundings, she suddenly came across a tall student who looked at her with his ruby eyes. 'It is him…' thought Rei, unsure about how to react.
The boy just smiled at her and waved 'bye', before turning around and walking away.
Rei just stood there, paralyzed.
Back home, Rei sat on the couch, alone. What this guy said in their first meeting made her wonder if she had been right to act like she did. All her life she had been invisible to everyone, and that was ok to her. She never needed friends or anyone to talk to: she had herself for those irrelevant things. But… were they really irrelevant?
His words had reached a part of her mind that had been forgotten since her childhood, when she was almost like everyone else. Now that Rei analyzed her situation, nobody ever cared for her or her feelings. Her parents sometimes asked about school or stuff like that, but never about her own happiness.
Was she afraid of the crowds? No, that was for sure. But still… she had always been so different from everybody… And suddenly this silver-haired guy came from out of nowhere and made her realize that she was a lonely person…
Everything was the same as always, but somehow Rei felt now there was something…
…different.
- o -
Yay! I finished the first chappie! Thank you for reading! This chapter is maybe a bit confusing, but it's like an introduction to the charas… I think I'll rewrite it later… I like it, but feel some things can be improved.
Thank you!
RL