Learn to Live Again
2. Day Sleeper
"Nice one, Horaki!" cheered the music professor, Aoba Shigeru, after the girl finished playing a beautiful melody with her violin. "Keep up the good job!"
'Hmph… I can do better.' Thought a jealous Asuka, as she steeped closer to the teacher and announced: "My turn!"
The red haired girl began playing a nice song, but due to her eagerness and anxiety, she lost track of the rhythm and ended up making a mess. Noticing that the teacher wanted to speak, she panicked. Was she doing wrong? No! Nobody was better than her!
Not willing to be corrected, Asuka kept playing till she was exhausted.
"Langley, you've got a lot of energy" began Aoba "but you still hurry up too much… next time remember not to be so anxious." And the class went on filled with the music of every student's instruments.
Rei played her violin quite well, but she could never manage to improve her style. No matter how many times she practiced, she seemed to be stuck, blocked by something she did not know of.
This, however, did not prevent her from enjoying what she did: Rei just loved music.
Soon the class was over, but before the students could go out of the room, the teacher called their attention and gave them a few last instructions:
"You were all very good today, so for next class I want you to prepare and perform something new. You can write your work if you like, but it must be your own. Play it alone, or in groups, but these may only be up to three people. Ok, class dismissed!"
And with this, he was the first to leave the room. When the students could no longer see their teacher, many curses and complains were muttered. Some even kicked chairs.
"Like we have nothing else to do…" moaned Touji, as if he had been sentenced to work in a coal mine for a month. He hated that stupid class and those stupid classical instruments. If he had to play an instrument, it would definitely be an electric guitar or something like that.
"C'mon, Touji, we'll prepare it in pairs, what do you say? That way it'll be a lot easier!" Kensuke patted his back. The first one smiled. His best friend surely knew how to cheer him up.
"Ok, but you'll write the work down!"
Kensuke's smile fell. He suddenly seemed unsure about something…
"Oi, Touji. Erm… you know that writing music is not one of my greatest abilities…" he took a pen from his pocket and played with it.
Touji's mood darkened a bit, but before he could start complaining again, a boy passed in front of his eyes. It was Shinji Ikari.
"That's it!" he cried in joy. "Ikari!" he called.
The boy turned around quickly and shyly. He looked like he wanted to be in any other place but there.
"What do you want?" he asked, not daring to go forward or backwards.
"Wanna join our little group? For this stup… eh, I mean, this wonderful homework?" Said Touji with a scary smile. Before Shinji could open his mouth, the other continued: "I know you write songs! I've seen you the other day! I'm sure the three of us will make a cool team!" he grinned.
"I… I… well, I…" Shinji babbled, but was cut off again, this time by Kensuke.
"See ya this afternoon in front of the school's main building! We'll walk to my house from there!" and the happy duo walked away, leaving the third with a reluctant expression on his face.
-o-o-o-
"Say, Asuka. Would you like to prepare this music piece with me and the girls? We've got some time before the actual performance!" said Hikari to her best friend as they walked to their next class. "I'm sure they'll be asking us to play our own songs for the end of the year… they always do that."
Asuka was hearing, but not exactly listening. Her mind was somewhere else. Suddenly, she stomped the floor once and shouted.
"That stupid teacher! I'll show him that I'm not anxious or whatever he thinks!"
Hikari just looked at her friend, shocked.
"Oh, sorry Hikari." Apologized the girl "I think I'll do this alone… I don't want to bother you or the girls…" she was determined not to fail.
The brunette shook her head and said "Ok."
Hikari often thought that Asuka needed vacations, not from school or academic matters, but of herself. She pushed herself too much to show the others that she could actually do it. Be the best, always the best…
The girl wondered if Asuka would ever realize that there were other important things in life.
"Horaki! What are you doing standing like a statue? You'll be left behind!" called the maths teacher while her classmates entered the classroom. She blinked and apologized before following.
-o-o-o-
Maths wasn't one of his favorite subjects, but Shinji often managed to pass. He watched as the professor filled the blackboard with complicated formulas and numbers.
"So, to understand Trigonometry you must know clearly the following forms…" recited the teacher, but very few were paying attention.
'God' thought the brunette 'this is sooooooo boring… I wonder if anyone's actually taking notes…' and he scanned the classroom.
Touji was sleeping with his book standing in front of him so that nobody noticed… unless they got close enough to hear his snores. Kensuke was writing something down. He seemed concentrated…
Shinji looked at his own notebook, but it was blank. 'Damn, I should be listening… and taking notes.' But before he could write more than twenty words, his concentration faded.
Again left with his thoughts, he looked around one more time. There sat the invisible Rei Ayanami, two seats away from him. The boy stared at her for some time.
'Poor Ayanami… she seems so lonely. I wonder if she has any friends outside school.'
She suddenly turned and her red eyes met his brown ones. The boy turned his head and pretended to be writing something down.
Shinji didn't like to look at other people when they were looking back at him. It made him feel uneasy, odd, scared. But at the same time he couldn't stand to be completely on his own. Nobody understood, not even his father. His mother had died when he was about three, so he couldn't remember her well enough to think of what she would have said or done.
His father, Gendo Ikari, never said anything to him and paid little attention to his son. One of the few timed he had done so, he sent Shinji to a psychologist, who often told him that he had a trauma for losing his mother at such a short age, but always reminding him that he was a man, and every man is able to solve his problems sooner or later.
Shinji never opened himself to the psychologist, anyway. He had his own little world, and felt secure when nobody tried to get there.
He thought that he was alone in the world. But now that he had noticed Ayanami…
-o-o-o-
Rei had been taking notes of the mathematical formulas until she felt that someone was looking at her. She looked up and saw the Ikari boy.
He seemed to panic when she caught him and returned to his notebook. 'Weird guy. But that's not my problem.' She said to herself and going back to her own busyness.
She didn't like the teacher: he was too boring. Always speaking as if he was a text book himself. Did he ever get tired? She stared at her paper, listening to that old man's babbling. Next class would be literature! She remembered happily, but never showing it on her face. Soon she would travel to another world full of poetry, fantasy and imagination…
And the bell rang.
"Yeah!" cried Kensuke, waking Touji up.
"Wazzup, man? Can't I get a proper rest…?" he began, but then was fully awake "OH, YEAH! G'bye, horrible numbers!" and he got up, knocking down a defenseless Shinji, who just fell on the floor.
Not even noticing this, Suzuhara left the room, followed by Kensuke.
The break lasted ten minutes, enough time for Rei to wander through the corridors looking for a mysterious ruby-eyed young man. She didn't even know why she was doing that… maybe it was because she had been so rude to him. And he even smiled at her the previous day! 'Man, that's odd…' she thought
'Ah, whatever.' She finished, resuming her search. This was a waste of time. Seriously.
Rei walked to her classroom, not noticing a shadow that watched her carefully. She opened the door and walked in.
"Ayanami, you're early." Said professor Ryouji Kaji with a smile as the girl entered the room. He was always the first one to get there, like he didn't have anything else to do. He was a very particular teacher: his lessons always had something remarkable.
"… maybe." Answered Rei, not even looking at him. She went to her desk and sat, ready for work.
Soon her other classmates arrived and Kaji could begin with his class.
"He's sooo gorgeous…" commented a dreamy Asuka to a smiling Hikari. Both girls giggled. Kaji had that effect on most of girls as he was young and attractive.
"I want all of you to take the books you're reading for this month and write a little about the main character of the story. Analyze his or her personalities, behaviors, surroundings, etcetera." Many students moaned angrily. "I'll be expecting the works ten minutes before lunch!" he added, still smiling.
Rei was happy with everything related to arts. She was about to take her copy of the original version of Hamlet… when she realized it wasn't in her bag.
'What the…? Where is it!' she searched desperately under her desk, in her bag (twice) and looked under the nearest desks. Nothing.
Before she ran to the school library, Rei remembered the events of the previous day… him! It had been at lunch, when that weird guy appeared! She must have forgotten her book there!
'Eagerness to disappear isn't good.' She stated before going to the teacher's desk and informing Kaji of her loss.
"Well, Ayanami, you read quite a lot, so I'm sure you'll be able to perfectly describe Hamlet!" he replied "I'm sure you'll write something good!"
'Ok…' Rei sat back on her chair and began her work. Hamlet, the young prince of Denmark… and she went on.
An hour later everybody was handing his or her papers, eager to leave for lunch. When Rei gave Kaji hers, he called her back and commented:
"Ayanami, this is very good! See? I told you that you can write wonderful compositions! Also… your point of view is awesome! I never thought a high school student would be able to analyze like this…!" and he patted her back.
"Professor Kaji!" Asuka came forward "Did you read mine?" always determined to be noticed…
"Let me see… Langley…. Yes, here it is." He found her paper "Well, your work's pretty good too, but you skipped Romeo's friendship with Mercutio. Remember he's important too."
Her expression stiffed, but Kaji rewarded her with a smile. "I know next time you'll write everything!" he said before the bell rang.
Rei didn't pay attention to this little incident, as she was eager to go to her secret place to recover her book.
When she was finally there she looked everywhere: under every leave and behind every bush. But the tome wasn't anywhere to be seen. Rei sat, opening her lunch box, depressed. She had been so sure her copy was there… and nobody ever went to that place…
She blinked. Except for…
"Meditating again?" a voice took her by surprise, just like the last time. She turned around, but there wasn't anyone around. She got up and looked around, when a silver head popped from the branches of the nearest tree. "Hi!"
Rei didn't scream or shriek, but her eyes were wide open.
The boy smiled widely. She was about to leave, when he spoke again.
"Looking for this?" his hand appeared from behind the leaves, holding her precious book. At first, she didn't take it. She was still shocked from the upside-down head facing her.
"You… took it?" she managed to say after a while.
He nodded. He then climbed down of the tree and stood in front of her. She looked at him. He looked at her.
"So… you're taking it or not?" he asked with an amused expression. She slowly reached for the tome and held it in her hands, not taking her eyes from his.
"Thank you. I thought… I'd lost it…" she said, unable to believe she was sharing her trivial thoughts with someone else. He just smiled and then looked behind her.
"Are you eating all that?" he pointed to her forgotten lunch box. She turned and nodded her head, sitting again and expecting him to leave.
"I'll let you think… it seems you like to do that." Rei looked up to replay, but he was already gone. 'Who is he, anyway?' she wondered. But relieved now that she had her Hamlet back, she ate happily. Her smile absent.
When she had finished, she opened it to continue with the story. But there was something unexpected between the pages. She blinked twice before recognizing the object.
It was a flower.
-o-o-o-
Rei's home was not too far away from school, and surrounded by parks and pretty landscapes. She walked slowly this time, wondering.
What had happened that day? Well, she had music and maths homework. She had been praised by the literature teacher and now she had a flower inside a book. What? She didn't understand a thing.
She had once read that best things happened when you less expected. But she didn't need to be the best student or those kinds of things… School was boring, anyway. Besides, she had to write a song for next week, and she wasn't even paired with anyone. She would have to do this alone, as usual. Not that she needed anyone to play her violin…
And thinking about violins, a beautiful song filled the air. This took her off her thoughts and enchanted her. It was so tender, yet so sad… and now the melody's colors shifted from purple and blue to red and gold.
Who was playing that violin? She wondered, starting to follow the song. Rei walked every time faster till she reached one of the city parks. There was nobody there, but the song still filled the air.
Not daring to interrupt, Rei sat on one of the white benches and enjoyed the music, unaware of the passing time.
When she finally realized it was late, she got up and ran home, always thinking 'I wonder if I can play it…'
Opening the door f her room, she took her violin and said "Ok, let's go!" and played. She tried to remember the song, but it was almost impossible: it was too colorful and meaningful.
However, the tunes she played sounded refreshing and new, and guided her to write a song which made her smile for the first time since she had memory.
-o-o-o-
Next day Rei was feeling a lot better than usual, and even greeted every one of her classmates (though she didn't smile to them), who stared at her afterwards.
"Since when Ayanami cares about any of us?" asked an astonished Touji after saying 'Hi to Rei. Kensuke looked as clueless as he did, so he didn't bother to continue with the subject.
Classes went on normally, lunch as usual. The girl surprised herself expecting the silver-hared student to join her in her secret spot, but he didn't show up. Her mood went a bit gloomy after this, but she didn't pay attention to it as she headed for the last lesson of the day.
She always arrived before time with one or two students after her, but this time the classroom was completely deserted.
She didn't stop until she reached her desk and sat, waiting. Time passed. Two minutes… three, four, five. Rei began to put her folder and books under her desk, but her hand touched something that was not wood. She grabbed and took it from the cold space to find a flower.
Another flower? What was going on? 'Did this guy…? No,' she thought 'he doesn't even know which class I'm in. Then…'
SLAM!
The door opened and Asuka came in, clearly annoyed. Rei put the flower away and remained silent. Hikari came in and approached the short haired girl.
"Hey Ayanami! We can't gather in my house for the science project yet, so we'll investigate individually to catch up…" and she handed Rei some papers with the themes she had to look up.
"Ok." Was her only reply.
"Hikari, beware of the beast!" Asuka suddenly screamed, as Touji walked past the delegate to get to his seat. He frowned and mumbled "Bitch…"
"What did you just say, jackass!" roared the girl as she stepped closer to punch him, but was stopped by a serious Hikari, who stood between them.
"Please, stop. I don't want anyone to get hurt!" she stated, looking straight at Asuka's ocean eyes. She even looked scary.
"Ok, sorry, Hikari." Apologized Langley. "But this is not over, dumbass!" she threatened Touji, who whispered "Fuck you."
-o-o-o-
The next day Rei got another flower, again under her desk. Still wondering whether this guy –she was sure it was a guy- was mistaking her seat for other girl's.
Biology, maths again and science passed rather quickly. Rei was still lost in thought. At lunch, she was determined to avoid her usual spot and ran towards the library. She had eaten in the classroom and needed to read… anything to keep her brain entertained.
When she was reaching the library's door, she felt that someone was looking at her. She turned her head, but before she could see whatever was behind her, she bumped someone and fell.
"Well, well, a bit hasty, aren't we?" a male voice joked. Rei stood up to face Kaji.
"I'm sorry, sir. I wasn't looking…" she apologized, but he shook his head and replied with a smile.
"It's ok, Ayanami. It was a little accident." She cleaned some dust from her green skirt. "But go more carefully next time: Anyone could think you're daydreaming!" and he laughed.
She didn't reply, but she seemed amused. A half smile fought to appear in her pale face, but failed.
"Oh, I'm late…" Kaji looked to his watch "See ya around." And ran away. Rei just stepped into the library and began her search.
Last hours she would have English, yay!
This time was the first she arrived at the same time as her classmates. Misato entered the room right after them and greeted everyone with her usual grin. That day everyone chatted practicing their English, Misato correcting them every now and then.
Kensuke and Touji couldn't speak properly without the help of their manuals. Or maybe it was the beautiful purple haired distraction? Shinji talked calmly with Hikari and Asuka (though she didn't speak to him), but eyed Rei twice before the class ended. No homework was given, and the students walked out happily.
Rei began to put her things away, but again found something under her desk. This time it was a letter.
Blushing, the girl opened it and read the few words written by machine. When she finished, she was completely lost.
The paragraph consisted only of four words. They weren't either sweet or romantic. The letter simply stated:
Stay AWAY from him.
-o-
Second chapter finished! I still think I'll rewrite some things and update others, but for now I'll leave it as it is. Tanks for the people who reviewed! And for the ones who read too! I really appreciate it
See you in next chapter!