Chap. 5

Greg looked deep into Constance's green eyes. He could smell the pine oil burning and everything seemed just a little brighter at the memory of all the lights. From the corner of his eye he could see Lindsey and he smiled. She had been so excited to do that favor and the fact that she was getting paid made it even better.

The officiant repeated more words for Greg to repeat "I will enjoy days of health,"

"I will enjoy days of health" Greg repeated

"And see you through times of illness"

Greg choked up at the sound of this "And…see you through…ti…times of illness" he finished as Constance gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

Feb 14 2006

Greg rang the buzzer for a third time before letting himself into Connie's building with his newly acquired key. Constance valued her independence like she valued air so when a key to her apartment had been in his Christmas gift he was truly touched.

As he pushed the buttons in the elevator he wondered why Connie hadn't answered her buzzer. She knew he was coming over and it wasn't like her to flake off.

He smiled as he exited the elevator. He could hear the music blaring from her apartment. 'No wonder she didn't hear the buzzer' he thought as he let himself into her apartment, knowing any knock would be futile.

A quick search of the kitchen and living room came up empty but as he entered the bedroom his heart stopped. He felt the blood in his veins run cold. On the floor, in front of her closet Connie lay motionless.

Greg wasn't sure where the voice was coming from but from somewhere outside himself he could hear a phone being dialed and somebody saying "This is Greg Sanders from the Las Vegas crime lab and I need an ambulance."

Greg sat in the emergency room feeling useless and impotent. He knew that he had to be there to get the doctors report but he felt like he should be processing the scene or doing something, anything pro-active. He couldn't stand the thought of Constance's apartment being a crime scene or of her being evidence. He felt sickened at the thought of somebody scraping her nails for skin samples or even doing a rape kit. No…there couldn't have been a rape…the scene was too quiet.

After a while a few fellow CSI's started to filter in and out, seeing how Constance was doing and how Greg was holding up.

"Catherine processed the scene herself and came up with nothing. No signs of forced entry or a struggle, no unusual fingerprints and nothing to send to the lab." Grissom relayed when he showed up.

"I know" Greg said, his voice void of emotion "She just left."

Grissom sat next to Greg. Normally the silence would have been uncomfortable but there was simply nothing to say. Greg knew Grissom was just being there for him and he appreciated it. Grissom looked around the waiting room and wondered if there was ever another day, other than valentines day when the ER would be so dressed up. Even Greg was wearing a tie.

"Greg Sanders?" A voice said from across the room. Greg looked up and saw the attending doctor. He crossed the room with a speed and energy he didn't know he had in him.

The doctor scanned the chart again before starting "She's stable but still unconscious. We don't know when she'll wake up. She is extremely dehydrated and malnourished. We suspect it's been days since her last meal."

Greg struggled to comprehend the last thing he heard "No…that's not possible. We meet for breakfast almost every morning. As I'm getting off work and she is going to work."

Grissom put a hand on Gregs shoulder, partially out of concern for the younger man and partially to keep him from rambling on as he was prone to do when he got nervous or upset.

"It has probably been a few fays since she left any of it in her stomach long enough to warrant any form of nourishment then" The doctor continued with professional distance.

Greg had used the same distance everyday at work but only now did he fully understand why that seemingly cold exterior angered so many people.

"We are still waiting on her blood work. I'm sorry we don't have more for you at this time." The doctor continued.

"Can I see her?" Greg asked

"Two at a time. Room A318." The doctor said before walking off.

Greg looked at Grissom before following the signs to Constances room.

People filtered in and out of Connie's room over the next few hours. Between visitors Greg tried to sleep but he couldn't. He kept berating himself. Catherine had told him Connie was getting too thin but he had just chalked it up to her mourning the loss of her father. It made sense though, the development of an eating disorder after the obesity related death of a parent. It was text book. He felt like such an idiot for not noticing it. He felt like he had let Connie down.

"I'm so sorry Connie." Greg whispered softly through his tears.

Nick watched Greg put his head down on Constances hand and start to sob silently. Deciding that this wasn't the best time to announce his presence he turned and went in search of coffee for himself and Greg.

Greg cried for a few minutes before lifting his head, self conscious that a visitor might be watching. He couldn't help but notice the red spot that had begun to form between Connies legs.

As a CSI he had gotten used to blood and the natural order of things but he felt a little embarrassed for Connie. Having strangers take care of this would not go over well were she awake.

Greg wiped his eyes one last time before wandering out into the hall in search of a nurse. Instead he saw Connie's doctor coming up the hall.

"Um…I think Connie has gotten her period." Greg told the doctor as he approached.

"That's not possible" the doctor said his eyes wide and turning to the nurses station "Karen, Amy we have an emergency in room A318…she's miscarrying."

The doctors and nurses all rushed past Greg leaving him in a daze.

Nick came around the corner just in time to see Greg throw up where he stood.

Greg waited outside Constance's room until her doctor finally came out.

"I'm sorry Mr. Sanders but there was nothing we could do to stop the miscarriage." The doctor said softly

"I didn't even know." Greg said into his chest.

"It's possible she didn't either. An eating disorder will often cause a disruption in menstrual cycle. We also suspect she was only about 8 - 10 weeks pregnant."

"Christmas…the tree and lights…" Greg stammered feeling light headed again.

"Woah man…are you O.K.?" Nick asked snapping Greg back into reality.

"Oh…yah…" Greg said shaking his head slightly "So I guess her blood work came back. And don't candy coat it…I'm a chemist." He continued looking at the doctor.

"Yes it did." The doctor said looking at his charts "She had elevated levels of bisacodyl USP, sennosides, senna leaves, phenylpropanolamine and ephedrine hydrochloride."

"Laxitives and diet pills?" Greg asked incredulously

"Yes and quite the cocktail." The doctor said matter-of-factly

"But they weren't found in her apartment." Greg said still not wanting to believe

"Suffers of anorexia and bulimia tend to hide these things. She probably has them hidden some where safe and undetectable. I'll be sending a psychiatrist who specializes in eating disorders to speak with Constance as soon as she wakes up."

"Thank you doctor" Greg said before the doctor walked away

Connie's eyes fluttered open and she looked around the room. It took her a minute to realize where she was. Her head was throbbing and she had no idea why she was in the hospital. She looked next to her bed where Sara sat next to Greg who was dead asleep sitting up.

Connie got one look at Sara and sighed closing her eyes. She didn't have the strength to deal with her right now.

"He hasn't left your side." Sara said quietly.

"I don't even know why I'm here." Constance said not opening her eyes

"You passed out. The doctors still haven't figured out if it was from all the pills you were taking or if it was from the lack of food energies. Either way you have been out for almost 36 hours." Sara said

Constance sighed before asking "How's Greg?"

"How do you think?" Sara asked angrily "He's the one that found you…passed out in your bedroom. He's been a mess."

"I never meant…" Constance started choking up.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go off like that." Sara said quickly.

Constance looked up at the bags hanging from her IV pole.

"Why do I have a blood bag?" she asked still studying the bags.

"You had a miscarriage" Greg said from behind Sara, his eyes still closed.

Sara silently got up and left the room leaving the two alone.

"A…what?" Constance asked her eyes filling up with tears again.

Taking her hand Greg just leaned in and kissed Connie's forehead.

"Apparently you were pregnant. You lost it shortly after you got here."

"I didn't know…I'm sorry" Constance sobbed

Kissing her on the forehead again Greg's tears fell into Constance's hair which had started to thin with her illness. He hadn't realized how much he wanted to be a father till Constance lost their baby. It had always just been a possibility in the back of his head but now it was in the forefront of his mind.

"When can I get out of here?" Constance asked after a few minutes. "I want to go home."

She sounded so small and defeated, it pained Greg to tell her.

"You are going to have to go into a centre for eating disorders for at least a month before you can go home." He said gently

Constance closed her eyes at the thought.

"I'm fine." She said "I just…"

"You just? You justoverloaded on laxatives and diet pills Constance Anne Taylor" He said raising his voice to her for the first time ever. "You just passed out on your bedroom floor…you just suffered a miscarriage from all of this."

"Greg please" She pleaded her eyes wide with fright

"You just scared the life out of me." He said calming down a little at the sight of her frightened "And I really think you could use the intense therapy the facility can offer."

"I can't afford it. The lawyers haven't finished with the paper work from my fathers estate…we still have to sell his house."

"Catherine offered to pay for it. She said it's the least she could do for you taking Lindsey under your wing."

"She didn't go to Sam did she?" Constance asked worried about Catherine's pride.

"I don't think so. I think she had this already."

Constance closed here eyes again. Exhausted from the effort just a conversation had taken she realized that Greg was right.

"I feel like Sandra Bullock in '28 Days'." She said.

"Just don't break up with me in the end." He said smiling a little.

"Just don't bring me Ex-Lax in the centre." She quipped.

"Done." He laughed

A few minutes later the doctor came in and said that Constance would be released into the care of the centre in a few days when her strength returned.

"But until then you will be under the watch of a PSW." He finished in a stern voice.

"I figured as much…one of my many jobs was PSW and I did my share of vomit & suicide watches. Just ask for a young one with a sense of humor would ya?." She said looking at the doctor. He just gave a small nod and walked off.

"Um…I'm gonna need some clothes and my tooth brush…" Constance said quietly looking at Greg.

"Sara already got some and a bunch of your toiletries. I gave her my key." He said giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. He grimaced inside at how bony it had gotten. How could ha not have noticed?

"Sara?"

"Yah. She feels really bad. I don't know why but she has really done a 180."

"Greg?"

"Yes"

"Thank you for being so strong for me lately. You are my angel."

"Thank you for saving me from becoming another work-a-holic CSI. That can be just as defeating."

Constance didn't know what else to say. She had never felt more dependant on anyone and while it was nice to have someone who loved her so completely she felt ashamed and scared. All she could do was close her eyes and swallow back the lump that seemed to make a permanent home in her throat.

Greg got out of the car. "Thanks for the ride home Nick" he said to the man in the drivers seat.

"No problem man." Nick responded "Hey G, You gonna be o.k.?"

Greg felt way too exhausted to pretend anymore "I don't know." He said past the lump in his throat. "Why don't you come up for coffee or something."

"Blue Hawaiian?"

"Of course" Greg said with a forced smile.

Nick shut off his car without saying a word. The ride up to Gregs apartment was silent.

More silence as Greg started the pot of coffee. Nick turned on the tv for some background noise.

"You really gotta get a better cable package G, there is hardly anything decent on." Nick said flipping channels randomly.

"Greg?" he called again. When he got no response he got up. He found Greg sobbing silently over his kitchen sink.

"Come on man…you need a decent sleep." Nick said taking the younger man by the elbow.

Nick sat on the sofa uncomfortably with the TV on mute till he heard quiet snoring coming from the other room.

He left as quietly as he could. Greg had shown strength nobody at the lab thought he possessed. Nobody could blame him for finally breaking down. Nick got into his car oddly glad that he had been there. Greg was there so completely for Constance but he needed somebody to be there for him too.