Learn to Live Again
3. Circles
Four days had passed since the threatening note. Rei wasn't scared at all, but felt a little nervous when she was alone in the classroom. Sometimes she even felt eyes following her everywhere.
This made her lose concentration on what she was doing. Once, she wasn't able to finish her biology practise paper and had to stay the whole break completing it. The following hour (maths) she had forgotten her calculator in the girl's room.
But what was worse, she didn't know if this threatening was directed to her or not. Who was this person? Who was 'him'?
Or the worst…
Was somebody stalking her?
Rei had begun watching around more carefully and checking her surroundings. If there actually was someone following her, she had to be prepared… or at least know who it was. Although the girl was aware that she needed to be alert, she didn't pay much attention in class any more. Maybe she should…
BUMP!
The girl fell. Before her stood the Suzuhara bully. He looked at the girl as if he had been looking for her all that time.
"Whoah! I'm so sorry, Ayanami!" he helped her to get up "I wasn't paying attention… sorry." And he smiled shyly.
"It's fine. Don't worry about it." Replied the ice faced girl.
"Well, catch ya later!" he turned around and walked away – giving a few little jumps meanwhile –.
Rei didn't realize what had just happened before she reached the closest door. 'Stop!' she thought 'Has Suzuhara actually apologized to someone?' That was true. In a situation like that, he was more likely to say 'out of my way!' Or 'Watch your step, stupid!' Never an apology….
'This is odd…'
Right after Touji came Kensuke. He walked straight to her and smiled.
"Hey Ayanami! What's up?" she blinked. He kept smiling. "Have you seen Touji?" he then looked around.
"Yes. He has gone in that direction." She pointed behind her.
"Thank you!" a grin "see ya later! Oh! I forgot… there's something I'd like to a… er… nevermind!" the boy blushed and ran after his friend.
Rei just shrugged and continued her way. Some steps ahead Hikari was chatting happily with Shinji. Asuka was nowhere to be seen.
When the duo saw the girl approaching, the brunette smiled and called her.
"Ayanami! How's the investigation going? I've already got like ten papers full of information that could be useful…"
"… I've got seven." Was the bluenette's reply. "When will we put everything together?"
"Maybe tomorrow or the day after. What do you say?"
"It's fine." And she turned to walk away. The break was about to end and she still had a lot of classes to attend. Nothing special, but, since she began losing concentration, she wanted to be early at least, to settle her thoughts before anyone else arrived.
'Ok, let's see… I've got two major problems: this guy who's sending me flowers and this other person who threatened me once…' she searched her desk, but it was empty. Relieved, she opened her bag to take her pencil box, but her fingers reached something lighter and softer. A note. Six words:
You BETTER stay AWAY from him!
'Ok, now I've been threatened twice.' She sighed, a little more nervous.
There wasn't any mistake now. If the note had been left in her bag, it meant that this stalker knew her and her activities. But… there had to be something wrong! She wasn't close to any guy in or outside school!
She thought for a minute. It was clear that she wasn't flirting with anyone. This lead to the obvious theory: somebody was after her and there was a jealous person who couldn't stand this. If that person was a girl (it was almost obvious) and if she was really that jealous, this could be seriously dangerous. Mostly if the guy was popular or something…
Images of fights and tragic soap operas flashed in the girl's mind. Oh, god… why her? What had she done to deserve this?
"Uh… Ayanami?" a shy voice interrupted her thoughts. She blinked and met two brown eyes.
"… Aida? What can I do for you?" she spoke, relieved from having those stupid ideas cut off. He seemed a bit nervous.
"Well, I was wondering… if you… If you could help me with this literature homework!" he spat at last, face turning a bit pink.
"…" she looked at him for a few seconds and finally said "…Ok."
"Great!" he jumped and automatically sat next to her. "It's about the story 'The merchant of Venice'…" he showed her the book and opened it.
"I know that…" she observed and explained the lost guy everything there was to be known about the story. He seemed to concentrate only on certain aspects of her narration, and space out on others.
He then opened his folder and wrote the most important ideas. When the work was finished, he smiled widely and thanked her thrice.
Just when Rei was about to ask something to the boy, the rest of the class arrived.
"Kensuke! Where were you all this time?" asked an angry Touji "I thought we'd do this work together!" The other boy smiled innocently and adjusted his glasses.
"I've got it, don't worry." And they sat together and chatted about their lives before the teacher arrived.
"I'm sorry to be so late, class, but I had something else to do…" apologized Misato as she stepped into the classroom. Her hair looked a bit messy, as if she had just run two or three blocks, and her cheeks were a bit pink.
"HOT!" whispered Touji to Kensuke and both boys drooled silently. Hikari turned around and looked at the pair with a disapproving expression.
"Will they EVER grow up?" she wondered, clearly pissed.
The girl's complaints were interrupted by the teacher, who began her work as usual.
"Students! Let's check last class' exercise on the four conditionals!" everybody took out their folders "Shin-chan! Would you please read the first sentence?" and she smiled widely at him. The boy felt a bit uneasy and did as he had been told.
-o-o-o-
Rei couldn't sort out her priorities. She was too confused with these events to make any decisions. Why were these things such a big deal? These were normal things which happened to normal people who lived normal lives. But was she normal?
Well, she would have to solve one problem first: who was this mysterious Romeo?
There weren't actually any guys who had showed her any kind of affection or suspicious behaviours. Except for that day…
And this guy also had a girl after him! So Rei guessed this way it would be easier to find out who it was.
"Ok, the investigation starts today!" she thought aloud and went to the break.
-o-o-o-
"Ikari!" Touji called from the distance "so this is where you've been…"
Shinji quickly hid the papers he had been working on. He was alone in the school library; almost sure that nobody was around. He just looked at his feet.
"Suzuhara? What do you want?"
"Call me Touji, man!" he replied.
"Ok. How can I help you, Touji?"
"Oh, I just wanted to know when we could meet to finish this music thing. Kensuke asked me this morning and we need to know your activities… or at least your free times." He added at the sight of the other boy's worried expression.
"Well, it can be this afternoon and tomorrow's if you want… I haven't got anything to do…" he seemed eager to leave. Not noticing this (as usual) Touji asked:
"So, how about discussing it at lunch?"
"Erm… uhh…"
"Great! Catch ya later!" said the other and got up to leave. When he reached the door, he turned around and said "By the way, we're having lunch with the girls…" and disappeared.
Shinji just blinked, angry with himself for not being able to handle a normal conversation. The last time he had talked to Suzuhara and Aida was like five days ago, at Aida's. The boys clearly had trouble with music, the brunette noticed: they could hardly put their instruments in the correct position.
The boys only spoke about their work, not even mentioning each other's life matters. Shinji felt ok with this: he didn't want to talk about himself. He also noticed it was easier to have a conversation when the subject was objective and neutral.
Only one thing pissed Shinji: neither Touji, nor Kensuke helped to create anything: he had to write everything down and make them practise with him.
Of course, this took more time that it would have if the other two had worked, so the song was unfinished. Now he'd have to prepare something else not to loose so much time…
Worst of all, the credit would go to the three of them, and not just to him. He wasn't a genius-complex freak like Asuka, but at least he wanted the others to get what he deserved…
'What for, anyway?' he blinked angrily 'Like I care about this stupid school… I don't want anyone to acknowledge me or anything. I'm perfectly fine on my own…' and now that he considered this weird duo…
'Curse those lazy-arses!' was his last thought before taking his music notes.
-o-o-o-
"… and then he was like 'OMG!' so I told him to…" Touji was the centre of attention in the little circle of students who had gathered for lunch. They were all laughing at the teen's story. The little group consisted of Suzuhara, Aida, Hikari, Asuka (in spite of her problems with Touji she had joined the group) and Shinji, who arrived a bit late.
"Sorry I'm late." He said, not even giving a reason. He sat between Kensuke and Asuka, who frowned and looked away. He sighed shyly and pretended that nothing had happened.
"Well, you almost missed the best part of my story!" Touji smiled.
"Want a sandwich?" offered Kensuke, taking this break as an opportunity to rest from his best friend's babbling.
"Uh… no, thank you." Shinji replied. He never shared his food or accepted any other's. He felt that the least familiar he became with other people, the better.
"Coke?" Touji only worsened the situation.
"No thanks. I've already got some water…" Shinji definitely didn't want anyone to pay too much attention to him.
"Yeah, Suzuhara's food might be infected!" snorted Asuka, like she wanted a reason to tease Touji.
"If you consider normal homemade food infected…" he snapped and didn't give her time to reply "Oh! I forgot your delicate stomach can only consume imported, expensive ambrosias… so what are you doing here, anyway?"
Her reaction was immediate. She stood up and faced him, ready to punch him at any time.
"Jackass! I'm sure your cooking is as terrible as Ikari's!" Shinji chocked with his water and looked at her.
"What?" why was Asuka involving him in the fight?
"And what's with that? You mean you tried Ikari's food, huh?" teased the taller boy.
"Of course not!" she defended herself "But I can tell everything just by looking at it!" she then pointed to Shinji's poorly-prepared lunch box.
"And just who do you think you a…?"
"Excuse me." A girl cut the fight. "Can I join you?" They all looked at her. A short silence followed. She waited patiently with a neutral expression on her face.
"Of course! You can sit next to me…" offered Hikari, making some space for the newcomer. "So how's everything going, Ayanami?"
"Fine." She replied and fell silent. Everyone ate in silence and looked at each other. Asuka was clearly not finished with Touji, and they glared at each other, waiting for the best moment to attack. Shinji focused on his food and shut himself in his little world. Kensuke just ate and glanced at Asuka twice. He then looked at Rei for one second and returned to his food. Hikari tried to find a moment to cheer the group, as the silence felt rather uncomfortable. Rei just observed the others' behaviours.
'They all seem like they want to be anywhere but here.' Thought the ruby-eyed girl. 'I wonder if that is because of me…'
"Do you… always come here?" asked Rei, taking everybody by surprise. Glances were exchanged before the delegate replied:
"Well, no. Commonly I eat with Asuka and the other girls. Aida must eat with Suzuhara, and as for Ikari, I'm not sure…" she smiled slightly. "How about you?"
Rei didn't expect Hikari to ask such a question, but answered "I eat alone." Everybody looked at her, expecting her to say more. She didn't.
"Say Aida, have you got the music piece ready for next class?" asked the delegate, with high hopes on a fluid conversation between the six teens sitting in a circle.
"Well, actually we've got half of it…" he looked at Shinji "Ikari is helping a lot!" this last sentence made the boy look at the one speaking.
"And you, Langley?" asked Kensuke a bit shyly. She looked at him with a bored expression and replied that her work couldn't be going better and that they would all be very surprised when she performed it. She then proceeded to give explanations about how to play the violin correctly, eyeing Rei and Kensuke, who also played that instrument. No harm came to Hikari (though she was a violinist as well) as she was the girl's friend.
"… and I'm surprised that most people can't even hold the violin properly!" she concluded, as if it was the most interesting thing anyone had said. The boys felt quite attacked, but none spoke. Rei didn't even pay attention to the instructions, as they described Asuka's style and not hers.
Shinji was relieved that he wasn't a violinist: he didn't want to feel even more paranoid. Just why did Asuka pick on everybody like that? Wasn't she winning a number of enemies already?
The bell rang, putting an end to the boy's thoughts.
Next hour was Technology. Their professor was named Maya Ibuki and was too soft and shy to be a teacher. She was helping them with their science project that week, mainly because it was related to her subject and she and professor Akagi had arranged for them to work in her class too.
"I want you to take whatever information you've got and prepare at least three papers of your works." And her class went on without problems.
-o-o-o-
Again in Aida's home, Shinji explained his two classmates the new parts of his song. This time the boys seemed to pay more attention to him and didn't even complain when they were to read it. Although they had some trouble, Shinji tried to make the whole thing sound good and – in spite of himself – cheered the guys to try harder.
God, he felt so odd… he didn't like to do this at all, but if he wanted this to be over soon, he had to cooperate. Not that the others worked too much, anyway…
"Break! Break! I need to eat sumthin' yanno!" cried Touji, his stomach desperate to have an okonomiyaki. Kensuke nodded and stood up.
"I'll second that!" he took off his glasses and cleaned them with his shirt.
Shinji looked at them for a minute. He could tell they were exhausted and needing of a little break. He quietly put his papers on the low table that stood in front of him and sat on the carpet.
"Ok, go eat and come back." He said simply.
"YES!" Touji went out of the room and returned with sonme food in almost a split second. The boy offered Shinji an okonomiyaki, which he had to accept. Half of him wanted it, the other half didn't. Seriously, these days he was feeling rather odd.
Kensuke ate calmly while his friend practically swallowed his food without chewing enough. Shinji was amused to see how different these two guys were and wondered whether they tolerated each other despite or because of that.
'Maybe opposites get along too…' The duo sometimes seemed synchronized with their thoughts, others they would just argue about trivial matters. But all in all, they were best friends. Shinji wondered if he would find such a friend someday…
"You're so skinny, Ikari! Eat some more!" Kensuke brought him to reality, offering some cookies. This time Shinji accepted a bit more willingly. 'Maybe he's right…' the boy looked at Kensuke while he was drinking a glass of milk.
-o-o-o-
Rei had been practising for some time. Her melody was going quite well, but she felt it still needed to be improved. She seriously needed some more inspiration. Would it come some day? Like the day she had heard that song in the park…
She wanted to listen to it again. It had awakened so many feelings in her…
"Maybe it's because the one who was playing it had those same feelings…" and she felt sad. The song made her realize that she was lacking of the most important things in an artist: emotions and feelings.
All of her life she had just been apathetic, and nobody likes to be with dummies, right? Was this the reason of her loneliness? 'No, no!' an inner voice spoke 'It's because you've never even cared about anyone else…' Another truth.
"Gimme a break."
And she positioned her violin in the right way and continued with her work. She took some notes and wrote on the pentagram until she had enough pages. Though harmonious, there was something missing.
But she went on. The mark wasn't important: what she was really looking for was… to improve.
'Try not only to improve your music, but also yourself." Another inner voice, but this time it wasn't hers. This sounded very calm and confident. It was rather familiar…
'I'm already going numb…' Rei sighed and continued with her melody.
When she was satisfied (not that much, anyways) she left her violin on her bed and went to her room's only window. From there she could only see the green from the parks and very few grey buildings. Some mountains were also visible. Out there grew the flowers… and talking about flowers…
She took the little flowers she had found under her desk and inside her book. She had kept them with great care, as they seemed to be a new part of her life. With the newest one in her hand, she just stared at the setting sun that made the sky colours shift in such a beautiful way.
'These flowers…' Yes. They meant that her life was finally changing.
And she smiled for a few seconds, before getting lost in thoughts again.
-o-
Third chapter finished! (Seriously, this one was sort too; I'll rewrite EVERYTHING when I have some more time…)
Thanks to the people who faved my story! And for the ones who commented! I love to read your reviews! Thank you for reading!
RaineL.