Summary: Looking at Kagome Higurashi, you'd never know that she carried a secret storm. Her therapist suddenly quits on her, and she must go to find someone else to help her. She struggles to keep her new therapist out of her life. She tells him the best of her is gone. Why won't he believe it? Kagome's POV.

"Talking"
"Sign Language"
Flashbacks

Best of You
Chapter 4: New Therapist

Have you ever had that feeling that someone's following you? I'm having it right now. I turn around, and I can't see anything. Everyone around me is dancing. I take a few more steps forward and look over my shoulder. I'm just paranoid, that's all. I go back up to my room, slipping into the soft blankets with relief.

I'm still alive. Should I be happy or upset?

- - -

Well, it's nine in the morning, and I'm in the building. Am I wish my therapist? No, he's late. He's not a morning person, and I have no doubts that I'm his first appointment for the day. I can't believe that he's not even here yet.

To the patients who depend on this, someone late would drive them crazy. I don't know why he's allowed to be this late. Perhaps my therapist already told him that I'm not that interested in therapy.

I guess late therapists are a good sign. Means that they aren't trying too hard. Either that, or that they have a personal life. My old therapist seemed to be trying too hard and lacking a life. So, this is a good sign that he's late. Well, it's a good sign in my own sick, weird way.

"How can you even be up right now?" Someone asks. I look down the hall, seeing him coming. He's rubbing his right eye like a child that's still sleepy. I smile at the image of him being little then stand up. While I stand, I profile him.

He's got silver hair, which means he must be a demon. Funny, demons rarely get into this therapy business. Drives most of 'em insane. The dog ears on top of his head indicate that he's a special type of demon... I'm guessing that he'd be a half demon, since no special kinds have dog ears. He has claws on his hands, and I have no doubt in my mind that he has fangs.

"So, you're Kagome Higurashi?" He asks. I nod my head silently as he unlocks his door.

"How old are you?" He asks. I stare at him, wondering if he's seriously asking this question. First of all, he should know that I don't talk. Second of all, he should have my age on record.

"You can't be 27, like she said. You've got your own successful club." He mutters. I tilt my head, giving him my best questioning gaze. How does he know all this about me? My last therapist didn't even know that I owned the club, she just thought I worked there.

"You can't be a therapist, either. You can't be late to appointments like this." I sign as he walks away from me. I walk in his office and sit down on his couch. I glance around, noticing how normal it feels. Then I see it. He has a giant bowl of licorice on his desk. What's up with that?

"So, Kagome... You don't talk?" He asks me. He must still be half asleep or else he wouldn't have asked the stupid question. I stare at him whiles he grabs a piece of licorice and stuffs it in his mouth like a cigarette.

"Let's try this again. I'm your new therapist, Inuyasha Taisho. If you're wondering about the licorice bowl, you can stop. I've been told by my friend that I have to stop smoking. He suggested that I keep in steady supply of this stuff. I take this when I want to smoke." He explains. I nod my head then look at the floor near my feet.

"So, since you won't talk, it's clueless to ask you to." He begins. Wow, a therapist who knows when he shouldn't even try. The phone rings, and I look at him. He'll answer it an ignore me gladly, I'm sure. He glares at the phone and picks it up.

"Hello?" He asks sharply. He doesn't sound really happy with whoever's on the other line. It gets quiet for a while, and I know that someone's talking to him.

"Shutup! I don't have to listen to you!" He snaps. He slams the phone down and sits in front of me. In his hand is a few pieces of licorice and a cup of coffee.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to yell around you. Some people annoy me." He says. "Now, I have an assignment for you. You won't talk, and I respect that. You have your reasons." He says. I open my mouth, tempted to say something to thank him. I close my mouth then look down at my lap, where my hands are neatly folded.

"Anyway, this assignment is thinking. I want you to think about what caused you to not talk. Even if you get an answer instantly, I want you to question it. The more you question your motives, the more help it can do." He says. I nod my head then close my eyes. I'm not going to sleep, I'm just trying to clear my vision from things that can distract me.

What did make me stop talking? I guess I started getting quiet when he came around. I wan't comfortable around him. Then I stopped talking when he began to hurt me and yell at me. It scared me so much, I couldn't find words to speak. It's like he had sucked out all my words every time he yelled at me.

Still, I would mumble things every now and then. I think Souta is finally was caused me to stop. I love my little brother dearly, and I always will. But, I'm pretty sure that it's him who caused me to stop talking. It was him to made me stop talking completely. But, it wasn't his fault. I guess it was my fault for being that way to him...

"Have an answer?" Inuyasha asks me. I look up at him, fighting the tears that are filling up my eyes. His nose twitches then he pushes a box of tissues towards me. I take one, using it to dry the tears from my face.

"I take that as a... yes..." He begins to slow down. He sounds uncomfortable, but I can't imagine why. I look down, crying openly now. He shuffles around in his seat. Next thing I know, he's sitting down next to me and he's hugging me. I look up at him, and he looks so... peaceful.

When I realize that he's got his strong arms wrapped around me, I tense up. This position doesn't bring back pleasant memories. Soon, I realize that he's just trying to comfort me. I bite my lip, knowing that I shouldn't be trusting anyone this fast. Least of all, a therapist. I hug him tightly, and I'm sure he's caught offguard.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to revive something that made you cry... I just want you to be sure of what's bothering you." He says. I nod my head then slowly let him go. I would mutter a thank you, but I'm harshly reminded of why I shouldn't speak.

"Listen to your voice! It's disgusting! No wonder she's crying right now! She's heard you speak and it hurts her ears!" He yelled.

"No! Momma likes my voice! She says that I sing good!" I claimed. A harsh slap to my face shut me up.

Perhaps there's a reason I shouldn't speak. I may tell him everything in our first session. I shouldn't do that. I don't know him. For all I know, he could be helping him and reporting things to me.

This sounds like a teenager's conspiracy that everyone is out to get them. I know that not everyone is with him, but I'm afraid of it being possible. I mean that, when you're in a world where you can't trust those closest to you, it's hard to let those further get your trust.

That's why I won't talk. Those closest to me have hurt me. Then the only chance of trust I have are with those furthest away from me. And you can't trust anyone that is so distant to you like that.

"So, since you have an answer, I'm going to ask you another." He says. I nod, realizing that he's still hugging me. Even though I'm not sure how much I can trust him, I appreciate the fact that he's doing this for me. I feel... I actually feel safe for the first time in my life. I feel like I can depend on him.

That's not good. I can't depend on anyone that I've known one day. Somehow, I think he's different. He's been through as much pain as me, even though it's in a different way. He's a half-demon. I'm sure other demons make fun of him for having human blood. I'm also sure that most humans ridicule him for having demon blood.

Maybe that's why he took me in. He takes in abuse cases, since he can understand the feeling of rejection. That's why I trust him. He's been in the same type of pain I have. Sure, it's not from the same source and in the exact same way, but it falls under the same categlory... We've both been left out. Just pushed away by everyone.

In a way, I think that him being able to use his pain from being picked on is inspiring. If he can do it, then I should be able to do the same... Right?

"What is your biggest hope? What are some of the things you want to happen the most? Identify them in your mind." He says. He must get non-talking people a lot. He's really helping me, even though he only asked onequestion so far.

I sniffle then turn around to face the same direction as him. I lean my head against his chest, my mind scolding me. He shouldn't be trusted. He shouldn't be trusted... But he has the right to be trusted. That's good enough for me to believe right now. I'll have to remember to mentally discuss why I trust him already. It's not normal.

My biggest hope. I have so many, but my biggest of all of them? I want to fit in. I want to have a boyfriend like Sango does. I want to be able to enjoy other people and what they say, like Miroku does. I want to interact with people like I'm a real human. I want to be able to enjoy the jokes they say, rather than suffer the memories the jokes surface.

"I want to live." I signal to myself. That's the best way to put it. I want to live like anyone else does. Perhaps, sometime in the future, I'll be able to have a family of my own. The idea sounds nice, but I'm not so sure if it'll be possible. I'm incapable of relationships...

"You'll never have a wedding, Kagome! You're too horrible for a man to look at, let alone marry! You're pathetic! Stop planning your girly weddings! No one will ever love you!" He shouted. I cried, trying to keep him from taking my barbie dolls away from me.

Hmm. Definitely incapable of relationships. There's no way someone could find me and love me without seeing my past. He'd get scared and leave. Anyone would... Besides, he'd just get angry that I never spoke, like Kouga did. I wouldn't blame him, though. I mean, I don't talk. That's annoying to anyone. And so is me shying away everytime my past is mentioned.

"Don't we all." I hear Inuyasha mutter. I look at him, wondering why he said that. He has his eyes closed, and he looks so peaceful. I'm guessing that he's enjoying the quiet time. I doubt he'd be enjoying my company.

Although, I do have to admit I have suspicions. His face has a healthy blush on it. Perhaps he is enjoying my company... Damn, that stupid wishful thinking is back. I should really stop. It'll only succeed in harming me.

( I was going to end it here, until I realized that I already started what was supposed to be in chapter five. So, you get more! )

He must've noticed my questioning gaze, because he looked down at me with a big smile.

"You said that you wanted to live. Everyone does." He says. I jump out of his arms, instantly missing the warmth they provided me. No! Bad Kagome! You're not allowed to be in love! you're not allowed to love someone!

I guess I should really stop scolding myself. I mean, that's probably the reason I'm here. I'm scolding myself for starting to like someone. I need to start to relax myself a little bit. Perhaps that will help me, even though I doubt Ill be able to pull this relaxation thing off. It requires something special to be able to be doing that.

"You can understand sign language?" I ask frantically. He raises an eyebrow, as if I should have expected something along this line. No one else knows sign language, so why does he look like I should have expected him to know?

"Yes, I can... I'm not as dumb as you may think I am." He tells me smartly. I sigh, then rubmy shoulder nervously.

"I wasn't implying that you're dumb, I... No one knows sign language. You're the first therapist of mine that knows what I'm saying..." I inform him. He smiles slyly, and it makes me uneasy. What could he possibly be thinking to make him smile like that?

"There's a first for everything, isn't there?" He asks me. I smile and nod my head. He offers me a hand to help me off of my floor-seat. I grasp it gently, and he pulls me up. I sit down on the couch, and he goes back to the "therapist chair."

I guess there is a first for everything... I just don't want to experience firsts of other things. Like the first of me having faith in someone I hardly know. I don't want to know what could happen if they were to act like he did... I don't like the idea of risking my heart any more that I have to.

"Alright, now that we've got that finished... I don't think I have anything else for you. I do have a homeowkr assignment I want you to think about, though." He says. Would that be him? I know I'll be thinking about him until the next session, and after that I'm sure.

I wait silently, wondering what his homework could possibly be. I've never known a therapist to give out homework. Well, they've never done that to me, at least.

"Kagome, I want you to try to trust other people. I know it's hard for you to do, and I'm sure that you've got your own reasons not to trust them. But, that's beside the point. Your need to try to trust people a little more with your past. Do that for me, okay?" He asks. I hesitate. I know I can't do it, it puts me at risk for more pain. But, I want to do what he's asking me to do... I want to try to get this therapy stuff to work fo rme...

"Okay..." I agree slowly. He smiles then stands up. He grabs a few pieces of licorice, and a black book. He sits down and begins to skim through it.

"When do you think you'll be able to come in next?" He asks. I asnwer him silently then leave the building. As I leave, I know that he's watching me. It makes me uneasy, since I don't know if it's an angry look or a happy look. I guess that it doesn't really matter, since I'm leaving either way...

Maybe I'll be able to do this. Starting tomorrow, I am going to keep up to what I told Mr. Taisho I'd do. I'm going to try to trust people with my past. Most of them aren't gonig to try to hurt me, like they did. I can at least trust the world with that. Trusting people is the least I can do, if I don't want to talk.

That's, if, they deserve it...

Next time on The Best of You...
So, they can't get me to talk. That should make them leave me alone, right? Wrong as of now. I have someone shadowing me and watching each hand gesture I make. As if that's not bad enough, this person is talking to my employees to get information about me.

I'm really bad at this. I keep forgetting when one chapter ends and the other begins. Well, this is a combination of what was supposed to be chapter 5... Whoops.

Finals are starting soon. That means that I may not be able to update fast. Then again, by the time ya'll read this, finals will probably be way over... What am I even mentioning this for? SOrry, pointless information.

Next chapter requires... I think I need 40 reviews before you can get the next chapter!

- Bipolar Tangerine