Chapter Three: The Dashing Prince

Yes, I know some of this sounds like I stole it from Shrek II. But you know what: I started work on this story long before I saw Shrek II and it was always part of the plot. Hence, I feel no guilt whatsoever. You can't have fairy tales without this type of cure, and you all know it.

I wondered bleakly as I trudged down the streets of Hong Kong whether Ranma and Akane were married yet. It was too late to do anything about it, of course. I had lost my last chance. The party where I could have told Akane that I loved her had been a week ago, and I had missed it, wandering the French countryside. I had no doubts that she was the one Ranma had chosen. I glanced at the present I held in my hands and wondered if I would even arrive to give it to her. Of course, it was as much for her husband as for her, and as much for myself as her husband. In fact, it was a present for nearly everyone we knew.

Eventually, I knew I would reach Nerima again. Of course, by that time they might be gone on their honeymoon. Not that it mattered. I'd catch up with them some day. I always did.

I shook the box, and wondered at the miracle that had led me to it. "True Love Cure" the witch-woman had called it, capable of breaking any curse, reversing any enchantment, but only if the drinker kissed the one he (or she) loved before midnight. Supposedly, it was leftover from the last time it was brewed some time in the 12th century when some girl wouldn't stop floating away. It was priceless, and if it made Akane happy I would share it with the man she loved, even if he was my oldest enemy.

The words on the sign shocked me, as they always do. You would think that by now I would be used to it, but I'm not. You see, I wasn't in Hong Kong after all. The sign read: Nerima High School. I was there. So very close. And there was no doubt that I would get lost before I could find the Tendo household.

A part of me hoped that the potion would cure not only the curse of Jusenkyo but also the curse that has been with me since birth, my inability to find my way.

Fate intervened, and a painful screech came from behind me. "Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! What beautifully wrapped present! How kind of you to prepare it for me! I shall give it my dear Ranma!" And a black ribbon snatched the precious package from my arms.

Of all Ranma's fiancées (or girlfriends or whatever), I think we all hate Kodachi the most. Her craziness is rivaled only by her annoyingness. "Give that back!" I called out in panic. "I need that! Come back here!" And I ran after her in pursuit.

It occurred to me that this might be a blessing in disguise. She was almost certainly headed towards the Tendo Dojo, the place I desperately needed to reach. So long as I could keep her in sight, I might be able to carry out my mission. And maybe I would be able to tell Akane the truth, now that it was too late.

I know that I'm not the smartest person in the world. Ranma has pulled the wool over my eyes far too many times for me to have any delusions about that. But I'm not completely stupid, like Kunou, and so after I had been running after her for some time, I noticed something. Kodachi was dressed in a long black hooded cloak (I had recognized her by her voice). It was the sort of thing no one (even Kodachi) wears normally.

In fact, I could think of only one reason for her to be wearing it: a costume party. Which meant I had somehow been confused about the date. I was certain Nabiki had said "tonight," but I must have somehow misheard her. Maybe the weather had been bad and they'd postponed it! Maybe I still had a chance to gain Akane's affection! It might not be too late after all!

Which meant that it was all the more important that I regain the cure! I ran faster. I had to catch Kodachi!

Just when the Tendo Dojo drew into sight, I stumbled over someone's outstretched foot.

"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to make it," Nabiki Tendo said. "I even gave you the wrong date to make sure you'd be here in time."

Of course. Everyone always likes having a laugh about my bad sense of direction. And Nabiki was a girl so I couldn't punch her for it, like I would if it was Ranma. At least, she wasn't making comments on my being a pig. But she probably didn't know that any more than Akane did. "I don't have time, Nabiki! I have to-" Only, Kodachi was out of sight. Once again, our best chance of a cure was lost.

"You have to come with me and get dressed," she said impatiently. "You almost ruined my plan. Come on." And she grabbed my wrist to pull me toward the back door to the Tendos' house.

"But-"

"No time!" she snapped.

And the next thing I knew I was locked in the downstairs bathroom with nothing but my costume and mask. For the first time, I looked at the costume Nabiki had picked out for me. It was a knee-length tunic of bright green with a ragged hem. I stared at it in shock. The mask was a simple painted oval designed to look like the face of an elfish young boy. "Peter Pan?" I whined through the door.

"Well, you want to match Akane, don't you?"

Right. Akane. That was all that mattered. If she saw me in a costume that matched hers, she would be that much more likely to listen when I told her I loved her. Shoving all my beliefs in masculinity down to the bottom-most corner of my soul, I donned the tunic and mask. I tapped at the door. "Let me out, Nabiki. I'm dressed."

She opened the door and scanned me with a critical eye. It was only now that I noticed her costume. She was dressed in a long white gown of silk, split to the knee with a crown of white roses on her head.

"Huh?" I was a little confused. "I thought Ranma was the one getting married."

Nabiki ignored this comment and clipped something at the base of my skull. Turning to look, I found that I now possessed a pigtail not unlike Ranma's. "Well, it's not perfect, but it should fool most people. Just try to avoid cold water. I expect that would kill the masquerade pretty quickly."

Behind my mask I blushed. She didn't know how true that was!

"Well, the party's in there. Go get 'em, tiger!" She laughed as she said it, and I wondered what all she was planning. Even I know not to take Nabiki's plots at face value. But to gain Akane's love it was worth it.

I went through the door, looking not only for Akane dressed as a fairy, but also for Kodachi in a long black cloak. I had to confess my love to Akane and regain the cure so that I could marry her and never become a pig again.

Almost immediately upon entering, I was approached by a fairy. "Ranchan! I've been looking for you ever since I got here!" The fairy was clearly not Akane. Nabiki had tricked me again.

"Um-" I tried to tell her that I wasn't Ranma, but she had already grabbed my hands and pulled me into the middle of the dancing horde. I looked around, hoping to spot the real Akane or Kodachi. This was nearly impossible. I was surrounded by a sea of masks. It was like being part of some surreal dream, half-in half-out of reality.

The fairy had put her head on my shoulder. "Ukyo?" I guessed. She was the one who called him Ranchan, right?

"Mmm-hmm." She sounded happy.

It felt kind of nice. I wondered what it would be like if Akane rested her head on my shoulder like that. "This isn't what you think."

"What?"

"Nabiki's up to something," I began.

"I know," she said happily. "She told me what your costume would be so I could dress to match it. I wanted so much to match you."

I was shocked. So Ukyo knew all about it and wanted to dance with me rather than Ranma? Had she been in love with me all this time that I had been desperately chasing Akane? "Oh."

"You don't mind, do you?"

I really wasn't sure. But I couldn't tell her that I didn't love her. I couldn't make her unhappy like that. I'm not a mean guy, like Ranma. I don't go around making girls cry. "I guess not."

She seemed relieved by this statement. "Good. I was afraid you'd think it was deceptive of me. But I didn't pretend anything. I just wanted Nabiki to make sure that . . . I just wanted a turn to dance with you. I was so afraid that it was Akane you loved, rather than me."

The problem was that I did have feelings for Akane. But Ranma liked her, and according to Nabiki she liked Ranma. And if Ukyo liked me then it would make so much sense for us to end up together. "Well, you're pretty nice, too," I offered.

We resumed dancing, and I let myself enjoy it. After all, why shouldn't I? Was there any hope in trying to resist a plot set up by both Ukyo and Nabiki? I might as well just sit back and enjoy the ride. I had been late to the party, apparently, and Ranma had probably already chosen Akane.

As we moved in time to the music, I came to like the feel of her in my arms. I even forgot for a while that she wasn't the girl I had hoped to be dancing with. Maybe this was for the best. I began to dream of a possible future with Ukyo rather than Akane who was lost to me once again.

The next dance was faster and by the time it was over, we were out of breath and I had mostly convinced myself that this was what I had wanted all along. "Let's get some fresh air," she said softly.

So we walked out to the Tendos' garden. The garden was far less crowded than it was inside. Our only company was Ranma staring off in the opposite direction.

Ukyo looked at him in confusion, then at me. "Ranchan?"

My universe broke again. So all this time she had still thought that I was Ranma after all. She still loved Ranma. Akane still loved Ranma. No one loved me.

Ranma turned to face us, and both Ukyo and I saw immediately that it was not Ranma. "No," Mousse said tiredly. "No, it's me."

Ukyo was confused. "Why are you dressed like Ranma?"

"It was Nabiki's idea," he explained. "She thought that if I dressed as Ranma, I could actually get Shampoo to listen to me. And then maybe, she'd realize when I took the mask off that I was the one she really loved. Only now she's run off."

Ukyo appeared to consider this. "I'm sorry, Mousse. It really was a good idea. And if Shampoo had any sense at all, I'm sure she'd choose you. You're perfect together. And Ranma will never love her. Isn't that right?" she addressed this last part to me.

I nodded.

Mousse sighed. "Well, it's too late now."

"You should go after her!" Ukyo announced. "You must never stop pursuing the one you love! Follow my example. Look how I have chased after Ranma, in spite of all obstacles!"

My depression deepened. She was as obsessed with Ranma as ever. Maybe I'd have a better chance with Akane, after all.

"Of course, you're right," Mousse said. "Thank you, Miss Ukyo. I must go and find Shampoo."

And he left us alone with each other. I wished I had the courage to tell him the lesson I had just learned, as I learned it over and over again in my dealings with Akane. I learned it so often and yet I never had the courage to act on it.

Ukyo turned to face me again, putting her hands on my shoulders and pulling me closer. "Kiss me," she said softly.

There was no time to protest, as she tipped both out masks upward and pressed her lips against mine. Again I melted, pretending for a time that the girl I kissing wanted to kiss me rather than Ranma. I pressed her body against mine, enjoying the sensation of her softness and the smell of her.

And abruptly I pushed her away. "Ukyo, you're making a horrible mistake!"

She stared at me a moment and broke into tears. "I knew it wasn't for real, you know," she said. "I knew you couldn't really love me, Ranchan. But I wanted to try one last time. Please. Akane doesn't want you, but I do! Can't you at least try to love me?"

She still didn't understand. I tried once more to tell her the truth, but she wasn't finished.

"I've tried for so long to make you understand. But you know how I feel. I've gone through everything for you, and yet you still wait for her to realize that she doesn't hate you. It isn't going to change." She was in tears behind her mask now. I wondered if what she said about Akane was true. If it were, then maybe my hope wasn't lost. Maybe, if I could gain the courage here, we could move on and work together once again to regain the true objects of our affection!

I removed the mask.

Wow, that chapter wrote fast. The story's starting to pick up some speed. I may be able to finish it through sheer inertia. Or not. I'm trying to keep people in character, but it sure is hard. I wonder if everyone already knows where all of this is going. One way to find out. All of you must review and tell me what you think!