Summary: Looking at Kagome Higurashi, you'd never know that she carried a secret storm. Her therapist suddenly quits on her, and she must go to find someone else to help her. She struggles to keep her new therapist out of her life. She tells him the best of her is gone. Why won't he believe it? Kagome's POV.

"Talking"
"Sign Language"
Flashbacks
(Diary Entry)Beginning/End of diary entires

This chapter is sligtly short. Sorry, but I ran out of things to put in it... Oh, five more chapters until this is done!

Best of You
Chapter 10: Panic Attack

I'm not pure like I used to be. There's no innocence left in my body or my mind. That's what devistates me about my past. That's why I can't tell anyone what happened. Because, if they discover that I'm not as pure and innocent like they think, then they'll run from me. They may tell other people.

So, I have to take away the chance that it can even happen. I have to lock up my words...

- - -

I can't believe that I was so stupid. I can't believe that I did this! I'm the stupidest person on the planet, right now! This isn't funny at all. I can't even settle down enough to eat! Thanfully, it's Sunday. The club is closed on Sundays, so that gives me time to ask some of my employees what happened.

The club may be closed, but everyone who wants to work is welcome. Miroku has to work, since I can't live without music. He just happens to be really good with the music, too.

I walk up to Miroku, flailing my hands about. I'm not even sure what words my hands are saying, which is good. I don't think he knows either.

"Calm down, Kagome!" He tells me. I take a deep breath then feel all the panic inside of me begin to well up. If the music he has on were loud like it is on club days, I'd be turning it off. Thankfully, it's quiet enough to where it's only annoying me and not pissing me off.

"What's going on? You aren't even calm enough to do sign language enough!" He tells me. I take a deep breath once more, trying to calm down the panic that's welled up inside of me.

"Remember the diary I told you about?" I ask him.

"Yeah, what about it?" He questions. I feel like screaming, but I'm not going to. I'm going to have enough control to keep my voice quiet. I'm going to be quiet, no matter what...

"IT'S FUCKING GONE! THE KEYS AND MY DIARY ARE GONE! MY DEVISTATING HISTORY IS IN THAT, AND IT'S MISSING!" I shout with my hands. He clasps my hands together then hugs me. If I weren't so freaked out, then I'd assume he was just trying to get my ass. But, he's been controlling himself since he got married. Sango says that he just grabs her ass more.

"Kagome, calm down. Where'd you leave it?" He asks me. I pull my hands from his grasp so I can speak, trying to calm my nerves. I think I'm hyperventilating.

"My desk. I left my diary ON MY DESK. My keys were in my desk drawer. Both are gone... SOMEONE STOLE MY DIARY AND MY KEYS!" I flail my arms about to get the point across.

"Calm down. You look like a bird." He tells me. I look at him angrily then storm off. If he can't help me, I'll find someone else who can. On my way to speak to a janitor, I grab a cup of Captain Morgan. This will help me calm down. I'm not going to get drunk on it, I'm just trying to get myself to chill.

I see my janitor then point to Miroku. When he doesn't get it, I drag him to Miroku. No one else knows sign language, and I can't possibly tell him with my voice what's going on. I get Miroku's attention, not caring that he's probably upset for being interrupted again.

"Tell him about the diary. Ask him if he saw it." I demand Miroku. He nods then turns to the very confused and scared janitor.

"Ms. Higurashi lost her diary. It was on her office desk, and the keys were in the drawer. Have you seen it?" Miroku asks calmly. He only refers to me in a professional manner if I'm stressed. That should be enough to get the point across to our janitor.

"No, I haven't. I didn't clean her office yesterday. It was clean when I went in, so I didn't bother." He says. I go to the elevator, going up to my room. I'm going to email some of my employees to see if they know what happened to it.

While the computer is starting, I get more rum into my system. It's helping, since I'm starting to calm down. I'm still frantic, of course, but at least I'm not going to put strain on my heart. I set the cup in my sink then get some soda from the fridge. Forget trying to stop drinking this stuff. I'm desperate for it in times like this.

I check my email, since there's a new message. I doubt that anyone is trying to sell me things. That junk goes in my bulk folder. When my inbox loads, I realize that it's Inuyasha's email address. I open it, taking deep breathes to calm myself down.

Kagome,
Please come in for a session today. I need to ask you a question or two. It's urgent. I'll be in my office around one in the afternoon.

- Inuyasha

I delete the email then look at my clock. I should be leaving now if I want to get there on time. I turn the computer off then go downstairs. I wave to Miroku and leave. I'm sure he's confused as to where I'm going. He knows that my past is bad, but he doesn't know how bad. All he knows is that I will look for this diary nonstop until I find it.

And I'm leaving the building. So, he's confused. Hell, I'm confused. He's the only one who knew about the diary yesterday. I had him tell Sango, so now she knows too. Did it get through the grapevine and someone else find out?

Oh no. What if Naraku found out and he took it! I can feel my pulse speed up as my stomach starts to turn. I really hope that he hasn't found my diary. He'll get mad then hurt me for saying lies about him. They aren't lies, but he doesn't want anyone to know the truth. Not even those few pieces of paper.

After all, that's a lot of things that could get him in trouble if I were to show it to the judge. But, I won't. I fear Naraku and don't want to make any more problems than I have to.

I walk into the therapy building and into Inuyasha's office. The first thing that I notice is his empty licorice dish. He keeps it stocked no matter what, so why is he out?

Inuyasha comes into this side of his office, chewing on one. I guess he just finished the last one or something. As he chews on it, he dumps a new bag of licorice into his candy dish.

"Stressed?" I inquire. He looks at me, as if thinking I'm the most crazy person in the world.

"Stressed would be a hell of an understatement." He tells me. I nod my head slowly then sit down on his couch. He takes a few more pieces of licorice, holding them in the hand that's free.

"So... How are you doing?" He asks.

"Tipsy." I tell him. I'm sure he can smell my breath and know that I was having a small amount of alcohol. It's not enough to make me tipsy, like I said, but I'm letting him know that I'm under the influence.

"Have some rum to relaxyour nerves? I can smell the tension in your body." He comments. I shrug my shoulders.

"What's got you so nervous?"

"My diary was stolen. The reason I don't talk is in there, and so are some other things that I don't want other people to know. It's gone, and so are the keys. Someone is probably reading it right now." I tell him. He nods then looks down at his empty hand. Both him and I could have sworn there was licorice in it a few seconds ago.

"Relax. I'm sure that no one's reading it." He tells me. I lean against the back of the couch, trying to relax. I'm sure he's trying to relax too. Why are both of us so jumpy?

"Okay, here's my first question..." He trails off. He asks the question, and my heart seems to stop for a few seconds. After it starts beating again, I look away from him. I can't believe this. There's no way that this can be true. How... Why...

What is going on?

Next time on The Best of You...
I hate him for doing it, but I love him for it too. Who would care so much that they'd have done something that's garunteed to piss me off? Therapists can't do this, legally. So does he have alternative reasons for it, or does he just not like to obey the rules of his job? I can only hope that I'm right on this...

Crazed Up Chick: Wow. You're very smart (or reading my mind) to know that! But you can't tell anyone, okay? I don't want to ruin the surprise for the rest of the readers!

Next chapter requires... I think I need 100 reviews before you can get the next chapter!

- Bipolar Tangerine