SORRY! the computer was broken and i couldn't updateand i'm sorry really!

Chapter 11: The Whole Story

Draco just stared at me, obviously stunned at what I said. Then his gaze dropped and his face turned from one of confusion and frustration to one of surrender. "No, I'm not."

I looked away. I couldn't stand it. I didn't say anything. Sure he was admitting it, which gave him points, but why? I'm obviously mad at him, so why doesn't he just deny it like any other guy and try to get on my good side by lying to me? Granted, that would make it worse for him, but he's a guy, he doesn't think about the future. He's just another lying, two-faced, stupid, not-worth-the-trouble guy.

Right?

I stood up and walked to the shoreline. I could feel tears stinging my eyes. I'm not really sure why, but they were there. "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked quietly.

At first I thought he hadn't heard me, but after awhile he replied, "I don't know. I guess I didn't think you needed to know. I didn't think it would affect us much." I heard him shift, but not stand. "Maybe I just didn't think."

"Or maybe you thought you'd keep that bit of secrecy to yourself so that I'd be stuck in the shadows forever." I stood defiantly at the shore still. My arms were crossed, my cloak was flapping in a recent wind, my hair was everywhere, my eyes were staring at the center of the lake, and there were silent tears on my cheeks. "Maybe you wanted me to find out from little miss Pansy in there. Or maybe you plain out just didn't want me to know. I'll bet it's the last one. I'll bet you were just too damn afraid to say it yourself, so you decided not to tell me." My arms dropped to my sides and my hands clenched into fists. My voice was shaking. "Who cares what Shayna knows, honestly? 'What she doesn't know won't hurt her,' eh?" I turned my head so I could see him out of the corner of my eye. "Was that it?"

Draco stood. "Shayna, honestly, I meant to tell you. I wanted you to know. I just didn't know how to say it. I mean, how do you say that to someone, especially your girlfriend? And then…" His voice trailed off. "Last night was magnificent. And I enjoyed every moment of it. I really did. I was planning on telling you awhile ago, but I just never got the balls to do it." I heard him take a few steps towards me. "I never wanted you to find out like this. Ever."

"Good." I still couldn't face him. I had more questions. "So it's all true. You and Pansy, I mean."

"Sadly, yes."

"Sadly? Most guys would be thrilled to…erm…be in your shoes."

"I never wanted to have sex with Pansy." His blunt-ness made me cringe a little. "I wanted to wait for the right girl, you know? But she just wouldn't leave me alone. She just had to do it. She said I was being the pansy by not doing it with her. She said all the other Slytherin boys would do it, why wouldn't I? But I still refused her. She got so mad she told the entire house that I was a virgin. Didn't really matter though, most people knew that already. She threatened to tell the whole school too, but we both knew it was an empty threat. No one outside Slytherin would care, and even most of Slytherin didn't care."

"So wait, Pansy wasn't a virgin when you two…?"

"Apparently not. She told me once there had been a guy before me, but he dumped her for some Muggle. She hasn't spoken to him since."

"That's disturbing." I almost forgot we were still on uncertain terms. Almost.

"Too true."

I turned toward him to understand better. "But, if you kept denying her, then what happened?"

"I'm not exactly sure. We were…snogging one night and she decided we needed drinks. She brings me this huge goblet filled with juice and makes me drink nearly half of it before she'll even kiss me again. That's the last thing I remember."

"Wait, what? You don't remember it?" What the hell?

"Well, kinda. I came to my senses, realized where I was and what I was doing, and immediately launched myself away from her. I couldn't believe it. I thought she had given up on the whole sex thing already. She hadn't mentioned it for weeks. And then I come back from unconsciousness or whatever it was and I'm doing…that? I was so angry with her I broke up with her that instant. She tried several times to get us back together, but it never worked. I barely even talk to her now."

"So wait, she drugged you or something just to have sex with you?" I couldn't believe my ears. What kind of person would do that? Especially for that?

"Basically."

"That BITCH!"

Draco's eyes widened in surprise. "Pardon me?"

I whirled around so I could properly face him. "First, she fucking drugs you, and then, well, Jesus Draco she fucking raped you!"

He looked at me, flabbergasted. "Well, yeah, I guess…I dunno I guess I never thought of it that way."

"How do you not think of it that way! You told her no! And she forced you to have sex with her anyway! That's rape! There's no other way to put it!" Okay, by now I was thoroughly pissed and wanting to punch Pansy's little bitch of a face so far in that she could see behind her.

"Shayna, calm down." He reached for me.

"No!" I stepped closer to him, so there was barely a foot between us. I whispered, "Don't you get it? You were raped and you're pretending like it was nothing!"

"It was nothing!" I looked at him, giving him one of those "oh really?" looks. "Okay, maybe it wasn't nothing. But it didn't really matter to me until you came along. I just thought, oh well, would've happened sooner or later. But then you showed up and I fell more in love with you every day and every day I wished more and more it had never happened. That's why I didn't tell you. I figured I could forget about it, pretend it never happened. I thought that if I had a clean slate with you, I'd have a clean slate for good." He looked so pathetic at that moment I could've forgiven him. So I did.

"It's okay. Really. I just wish you would've told me. Ignoring it isn't going to make it go away." I stepped closer to him. I took his hands in mine and squeezed them.

"I know. I just wanted it so badly I must've made myself believe it." He didn't look at me.

"Draco." He continued staring at the ground between us. "Draco," I repeated, more commanding. He looked up at me. In his eyes I saw a mixture of regret and sadness and fear and hopelessness. "It's okay. Though, next time you feel the need to erase your past, you might want to remember how impossible that is." A small smile showed on his face and he looked back at the ground, fidgeting.

"I'll remember that," he said, slightly grinning. Then he tried to kiss me.

I pulled back. I guess I still needed to soak all this information up. "Sorry," I said before he could ask questions. "I just…I need more time, that's all." He continued to look at me, worried. "Really, I promise, I'll be fine. I just need more time to…get used to this." I flashed him a smile. "You can kiss me all you want later."

He still looked worried, but he nodded in acceptance. "Okay."

"Go to class. I'll see you at lunch."

He grabbed me and hugged me before I could move away.

"I love you, Shayna. Only you," he whispered in my ear.

I hugged him back. "I love you too."

He kissed me. "See you at lunch?"

"Lunch."

"Bye."

I stood there, watching him trot off to class. I wondered how much more damage little miss bitch would do to Draco and I.

I had no idea.