Title: Cultural Differences
Author: MicroChips
Disclaimer: Don't own MASH, want to but don't…
Summary: Chapter Three: Problems with Majors.
Notes: Merg sorry for taking so long… I've been busy…(bad excuse I know…)
Chapter Three: Major Problems
Alex stopped walking and sighed at the PA announcement. She didn't want to be in an operating room right now. She was quaking like a leaf from a memory that had hit her like a ton of bricks outside of the Swamp. She wrapped her arms around herself and breathed deeply in a pitiful attempt to calm down.
"Alex, are you okay?" Hawkeye asked appearing behind her. Alex turned to look at him, glaring slightly.
"Yeah I'm bloody fine," she snapped. She sighed slightly and changed her tone. "It's nothing that you can help with…" She began to walk determinedly towards the bus that had parked in the compound. Hawkeye walked beside her.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah I'm sure… At least I think I am…" she whispered as they reached the bus. She was about to ask Hawkeye what to do, when Potter called to her from no where.
"Major Lexington, come here please," he asked; though it sounded more like an order. Alex walked over to him, feeling ever so slightly confused. When she saw Meg and how uncomfortable she looked beside the Colonel, she had to keep herself from flying off the handle at her.
"I promised you Meg…" she hissed darkly, her fists trembling.
"I didn't promise you back Major" Meg replied, taking on her best, 'I am in charge so obey me' voice. "Besides, your talents are wasted as a nurse."
"And from what I know, I agree with her Major." Potter said, backing up Meg, "I believe that you could do us a lot of good as a surgeon." Alex's jaw dropped in shock.
"What?" she finally managed to ask.
"I believe that you could do well in surgery. I want you to assist me today." Potter said with a smile. Alex chanced a small smile.
"Really?" she asked, still not quiet believing him.
"Really, really."
Alex looked at Meg, who looked back at her toes, before giving her a huge bear hug.
"I've got to love you for sticking your nose in where it isn't needed!" she said with a small laugh. It was all she could do not to cause a scene right there in the compound. Meg looked at Potter over Alex's shoulder, a relieved expression plastered all over her face. She had been expecting a completely different reaction from Alex. Gently, she pushed her cousin away.
"You go and do what you do best," she said to her softly. Alex grinned at her.
"I'll never be able to thank you for this," she said, "It's one of the-"
"Oh shut up Alex. You're being sappy."
"I'm Canadian, I'm full of sap. Maple Syrup to be precise." Alex grinned jokingly, which forced Meg to laugh.
"Go on, get going."
"Of course Colonel." Alex replied before turning to face Potter. As he led her into the Pre-Op ward, Meg stood for half a second, completely and totally stunned. Then with a smile she turned off to find Major Houlihan, who would tell her what to do… hopefully.
"How long have you been hiding that you're a surgeon Major?" Potter asked as he scrubbed his hands.
"Since we got to Korea. I wasn't allowed to join as a Doctor, so I came as a Nurse. Meg was the only one who knew that I was a surgeon. She was always pressing me to speak up about it to our CO's, but I tended to just get angry when they talked to me like I was an idiot," Alex replied scrubbing, her arms viciously. Her previous CO's had very poor places in her memory. "Not that I resent them or anything." Potter chuckled.
"With that much sarcasm, it can be safely said that you do resent them." He replied.
"Yeah, quite true…" Alex said with a grin as she shut off the tap. "Where to Mon Captain?"
"Through those doors there." Potter pointed to a set of cabaret like doors. "Don't forget a mask though."
"Should have put that on first." Alex said with a frown. She grabbed a mask off of the shelf behind her and put it on. Then she set back to washing her hands again.
"You don't have to do that."
"I feel that I do sir. It may not be completely sterile here but I can't take the risk of adding to the absence of sterility." Alex said pointedly. Potter shrugged.
"Whatever you want to do." He walked over to the doors. " Don't take too long."
"I won't." Alex replied sweetly. As the doors closed behind Potter, the ones from the outside opened.
"I wonder where that other nurse is. She was supposed to be out there…" Margaret said angrily.
"I saw her earlier Margaret, with Pierce none the less." Frank replied
"Degenerate. I can't believe that he's already after her Frank."
"But she turned him down. Left him crying on the door step she did." Alex turned off the tap with a chuckle.
"He wasn't crying, Majors." She said turning around. "He was just a bit disappointed." Both Frank and Margaret jumped slightly as they had not seen her.
"What are you doing in here Major? You were supposed to be out there helping the other nurses," Margaret said, almost like a cat pounces on its prey.
"The Colonel ordered me to come in here. Now if you'll excuse me," she pushed her way to the doors, "I've got somewhere to be" Margaret placed herself between Alex and the doors. The two of them stood glaring at each other for a moment.
"You aren't going in there. I'm not allowing you to act as a nurse in the OR if you can't do the other duties that fall to you as a nurse." Margaret hissed darkly. Alex chuckled at her, her eyes cold and angry.
"You have no authority over me, not at the moment. The Colonel asked me to act as a surgeon for today." Alex said reviling in the shock from the other two Majors.
"But, your not a surgeon, you're a nurse!" Margaret stuttered.
"Not completely true. I have a diploma stating that I am a surgeon and one stating that I am a nurse. Now if you have a problem with that Major, I suggest that you take it up with the Colonel after this OR session." Alex forced her way around Margaret and walked through the doors backward as not to dirty her hands. Upon seeing their still stunned faces, she waved at them sarcastically.
"What took you so long Major?" Potter asked as she approached the table.
"Some Majorly annoying flies…"
"Burns and Houlihan?"
"How'd you guess?"
"I thought that they might have a problem with you," Potter said glancing at the nurse beside him. "Give her some gloves," he ordered. As the confused Nurse put the gloves on Alex's hands, Alex peered into the gut that Potter was bent over.
"Great… their aim gets better and better," she said darkly.
"Ours is just as good."
"They don't have hospital units so most of them die on the fields." Alex shook her head and set her mind to the task. "Anything I can do?"
"Yeah pull that bowel out of the way." Potter said. Alex obliged, ignoring the sudden heat that spread across her gloved hands. "You alright?"
"Yeah I'm used to this. Actually I'm used to no gloves at all." Alex added quietly. The doors that Alex had just come through opened again, and four people came through them.
"Frank would you stop whining!" Hawkeye said forcefully
"It gets very annoying after one whine!" BJ added angrily.
"But guys, she shouldn't be allowed in an operating room." Frank whined. Alex looked up at them and found Hawkeye staring at her. She locked eyes with him for half a second. He seemed to be frowning at her. Alex stared at him for a few seconds, ever so slightly confused.
"Major, move your fingers, they're in my way." Potter said, refocusing her attention. She swept her head around and pulled her fingers out.
"Yes sir…" she said quietly."
"What's wrong Major?"
"Nothing. Nothing at all sir."
"Well I need you to concentrate. I want to go around the heart for those fragments."
"Yeah okay…sir"
They had been in surgery for five hours when Potter started to give fifteen minutes breaks to the surgeons. He gave Alex the first one, wanting to get her out of the tense and ever so slightly angry atmosphere of the room so he could give every one else a severe dressing down.
As she sat down rather heavily with a sigh, thoughts tumbled around her head like incessant mosquitoes of doom. It was all so monotonous. She'd give anything for a normal, rather tame, hospital ER ward any day over this glorified butcher shop. She was slowly beginning to hate this place. It wasn't the surgery. The people were beginning to get to her. They were all exceptionally cold, especially the nurses. None of them said a word more than what was needed to her. It was almost like she was a piece of crap that they had to work with but felt no need to be nice to. She sighed and leaned against the wall quietly. It didn't matter. She wasn't here to make friends or to buddy around with any one. She was here to save lives, no matter what the cost.
"Penny for your thoughts sailor?" Meg asked sitting next to her. Alex looked at her with a bemused expression.
"My thoughts are my own. If I speak them aloud, they may-"
"Fly away. Yeah I know." Meg replied with a sigh. "What did you do to get yourself so hated so fast?"
"I walked into the OR"
"That easy huh? Well you do have an effect on people." Meg braced herself for whatever retort that was coming. Alex surprised her by just sighing.
"Obviously," she replied, closing her eyes. "God I'm so tired of it all." Meg didn't say anything. She just empathetically patted Alex shoulder before remembering what she was really doing there.
"Here, I brought you some coffee. I managed to get it lukewarm."
"You're amazing Meg. I don't know what I would do without you." Alex said pulling her head off of the wall, looking for the coffee mug. Meg pressed it into her hands carefully, making sure that she actually picked it up. Alex smiled slightly as the door to Pre Op crashed open. A slightly worried looking Nurse came barrelling through the door. She looked around wildly before setting her eyes on Alex and Meg. Quickly she walked over and broke into a worried string of words and phrases.
"Hold it up, what is it?" Meg interrupted raising her hand.
The nurse took a deep breath before saying: "There's a patient in pre-op, he's haemorrhaging."
Alex sighed and closed her eyes.
"Go and get one of the surgeons then," she grumbled leaning her head against the wall. She did not want to bear the brunt of a joke from the nurses.
"I can't ma'am. They're all busy with patients." The nurse replied. Alex looked at her critically. She couldn't have been older than twenty-eight. Alex slowly turned to look at Meg.
"Go and get an instrument tray and a pair of gloves," she said to her cousin with a sigh. She turned back to the nurse. "Are there any free anaesthesia tanks in there?"
"No ma'am, no tables either." The nurse replied, moving as Meg walked quickly past her. Alex frowned and stood up.
"We'll have to settle with either then. Get a mask and some Ether quickly," she ordered before stalking into the Pre-Op room. There was only one gurney in the room, and it was being crowded around by at least ten nurses, all working furiously to stop the bleeding and get the man to remain still. Alex could tell by the words coming out of his mouth that he was Korean. The nurse walked timidly over to one of the other nurses at the table and said something to her. She spun around and stared at Alex. The stare remained for half a second before it changed into a glare.
"You!" she snarled. Alex sighed as she recognized the nurse as Major Houlihan.
"Yes me. You called?" Alex replied, trying to remain calm.
"I asked for a surgeon, not a nurse." Margaret snapped at the nurse.
"And she got one, Major," Alex spat as if the phrase was as disgusting as the war. "Everyone else is busy." Margaret looked as if she was going to snap back at her before resorting to an attempt to stare her down. The room went silent for half a second as the two Majors stared at each other. Meg chose that exact moment to hurry through the doors into the room. She looked between Alex and Margaret for half a second.
"What on Earth is going on here?" she asked her voice going very soft. "You are supposed to be saving this man's life, not glaring at each other. Get on with it! That's an order!" Alex broke eye contact with Margaret to look at Meg. Her eyes looked almost black and her jaw was trembling in anger. Margaret looked as if she was about to respond before saluting and turning back to the patient.
"I'll talk to you later Alex," Meg snarled quietly. "That was the worst display of stupidity that I have ever seen!" She turned on her heel and stalked over to the huddle of nurses. Alex slowly followed. The huddle parted to let her in. She hissed through her teeth upon seeing the extent of the damage done to the man.
"Why isn't he already in there?" she asked as Meg elbowed her to put some gloves on.
"He's a North Korean." Margaret replied huffily. Alex looked at her as if she were insane. She sharply gestured towards the blood that was oozing out of his stomach.
"See that? See the blood? That's the only thing that matters Major, not what uniform is getting covered by it," she hissed. The Korean snarled something at her and sat up slightly. Alex gave him the sharpest look she could.
"Same to you…" she mumbled. One of the nurses placed an ether mask over his face and, before he could retaliate managed to give him enough to get him under. Alex looked around the group of nurses. Most of them had backed away, excluding Meg and Margaret. Alex looked at them and received a small nod from Meg.
"Well everybody, lets do the Michigan Rag," she muttered. "Scalpel."
Two and a half-hours, thirteen clamps and ten units of B negative blood later….
It was silent, dead silent.
It wasn't there. Where had it gone?
She couldn't hear. Maybe it was shock? No, shock didn't do this to you
It wasn't there.
What was it?
Where had it gone? It had run away.
Adrenaline hadn't helped.
"Adrenaline, quick. Bag him, someone bag him damn it."
It died… it was so easy to take away.
No don't tell me he has no pulse or pressure.
Only four stiches.
I only had four more stitches to go.
The scalpel wasn't worth it.
Scalpel. I need to get to the heart. No don't you tell me it isn't worth it.
He can't die, not yet.
The blood hadn't helped.
What about all the extra blood we pumped into him? Why didn't that help?
So much does so little.
"Alex snap out of it for Peters sake!" Meg snapped. Alex slowly looked at Meg an angry look on her face.
"The scalpel will work," she said quietly.
"It's been too long." Meg replied. Alex looked at her as if she was an idiot before turning back to the Korean on the table. She was right. It wouldn't help now. Alex frowned and took off her robe and draped it over the Korean. Her frown deepened as she pulled off her gloves.
"Damn." She mumbled before turning and walking out of the room. She walked back into the annexing room and found her coffee, still on the bench. She sat down slowly and picked it up to sip it. It was cold. She didn't care that it was cold. It was still caffeine. The door she had just come through opened and Meg wandered over to her.
"It wasn't your fault Alex," she said quietly. Alex made a noncommittal grunt in reply. Meg sighed.
"It's gonna be a drink for every minute that she worked on him later…" she muttered to herself before wandering off back towards the OR. She looked in the door before turning back to Alex.
"They want you in there," she observed carefully. Alex placed the coffee cup down again and stood up.
"Then me they'll get," she muttered, walking past Meg and into the OR again.
"Where on Earth have you been, Doctor?" Frank asked evilly. Alex glared at him and opened her mouth to reply.
"Oh go and shove it in your ear Major!" Margaret snarled at him. She had already come back into the OR halfway through the operation that Alex had been performing. Alex looked at her and smiled. Margaret paid no attention, but Alex could tell that she was grinning slightly. Meg wandered over to her with a new robe and a new gown.
"Anyone need an extra pair of hands?" Alex asked with a slightly more airy sound in her voice as Meg did up the robe at the back.
"As if anyone would need help from you. I bet you can't even cut a straight line with a scalpel!" Frank added an annoying chuckle at the end of his sentence.
"Neither can you Frank." Hawkeye replied off-handedly. "You can help me Alex." She wandered over to him and took a look at what he was doing.
"You don't need any help with that," she said softly. "It's only a flesh wound."
"Well take it as an excuse to talk to you." Hawkeye replied.
"Right…" Alex replied rolling her eyes and smirking. Hawkeye grinned, but kept his face turned away so Alex couldn't see it.
"What are you doing after this?" he asked after a few minutes.
"After what in particular? After this day? After this week? After the war?"
"After this session."
"Umm… no idea why?" Alex asked, glancing at him warily. Hawkeye looked up at her.
"I was wondering if you wanted to come and get a drink with me?" he said quietly. Alex had tensed slightly while she had asked the question.
"Um, I'm not sure. Only if you want to get drunk under the table." Alex said softly, obviously nervous.
"You making that a challenge?"
"Yeah I am."
"Good you're on." Hawkeye said loudly. "Dueling pistols at ten paces. If I had a clean glove I'd slap you with it."
"But that would be very unproductive…" Alex mumbled. "I have no aim…"
"That's okay I have no gun tolerance."
"Could you two pipe down? Some of us are trying to work." Frank snarled.
"Of course Frank. The rest of us will just go and play golf elsewhere shall we?" Hawkeye replied.
"You must really think that your funny Pierce but I don't see anyone else laughing."
"That's because we're all wearing masks Major." Alex observed carefully. Frank made a noise that was a cross between a snarl and a person choking, but did not respond. Everyone in the room went quiet and Alex could pick up on Meg's plots for destroying her halfway across the room.
"Wow, you're all such a great crowd. I'll be here all week." Alex murmured sarcastically, quickly attempting to set her mind back to the task at hand.
With a yawn, a few groans, and even more curses directed towards the army and/or the war, the surgical staff of the four-oh-double lucky number stumbled out into the compound of the MASH. They quickly dissipated off to their tents or where ever else they were headed. Meg and Alex were the last ones to leave. They were as silent as the war was loud, not wanting to talk. Meg slipped her hand into Alex's and gripped it tightly.
"You alright?" she asked carefully. Alex sighed deeply.
"Yeah I guess." Alex frowned slightly. "No it isn't… But it's nothing getting absolutely plastered won't fix." Now it was Meg's turn to sigh.
"You rely far too much on the fire water Alex," she said licking her teeth, giving her voice a very gummy sound to it. Alex chuckled slightly.
"You sound just like old Father Averwight back home."
"I try my dear child, Meg said pulling her lips over her teeth to distort her voice even more. "I do try. Trying is better than… What were we talking about?" With that they both fell into peals of laughter, and tried desperately not to fall to their knees. They received a few nasty looks, most of which were leaden with tiredness, before someone wandered over to shut them up.
"You two should conduct yourselves like officers…" Frank snapped, bursting their happy bubble. Alex immediately stopped laughing and turned around rapidly.
"Officer? Where?!" she said loudly, causing Meg to chuckle again. Frank snorted at them angrily.
"Just because you're from an allied country doesn't mean you can act like you're at ease here," he growled. Meg stopped laughing. She knew that it was directed at Alex mostly, but he was starting to get under her skin.
"I suggest you watch it Major, or you'll be on report," she snarled.
"You can't do that…" Frank replied, not sounding all too sure of himself.
"See these?" Meg asked pointing to the stripes on her shoulder. "These give me the right to do it." She glared at Frank for a few moments before he swallowed sharply and stalked off. Alex raised her eyebrows at Meg.
"Wow, Meg… you really are scary as an officer," she said quietly. "Never act like one again in my presence."
"I won't, Alex, I won't." Meg replied. "Now, where is this officers club? I could do with a drink or ten now."
As they walked into the officers club, they blinked slightly.
"Well, it's no downtown bar, but it'll have to do." Alex said, her eyes already focused on the bar. She made a beeline straight towards it.
"What can I do you for?" the private behind the bar asked her.
"A vodka and a scotch please." Alex ordered. The private looked at her for half a second before his eyes drifted to her shoulder.
"Um, we don't have any vodka ma'am," he said quietly. Alex sighed slightly.
"Well, a gin then. No use asking if you have any tonic right?" the private looked shocked. "Thought not." Alex frowned slightly and turned to look around the club. She couldn't think straight any more. Anything that even reminded her of red got lodged in her mind along with nearly everything else. She couldn't help notice that a few nurses were sitting in the corner and continuously looking over at her. Meg elbowed her in the stomach gently and she turned to look at her.
"Can I borrow some money?" she asked. Alex sighed and closed her eyes.
"Of course I'd forget that," she said angrily.
"Here I've got it. How much was it?" someone said beside her. Alex turned her head to see Hawkeye standing beside her. He winked slightly and handed the private a couple of scrip dollars.
"Thanks." Alex said with a slight smile.
"It's no problem. You want to come and sit down?"
"Sure." Alex looked around for Meg, but she had disappeared with her drink over to the nurses. Alex sighed and followed Hawkeye to a table across the room. They sat down and sipped their drinks for a few moments in silence.
"I heard what happened in pre-op today." Hawkeye began cautiously.
"So?" Alex said darkly.
"You tried your best and shouldn't let it get to you." Hawkeye sipped his drink. "Besides, there was nothing you could do."
"I've helped people on the field hurt worse than that." Alex snarled slightly, taking a vicious sip of gin. "How did you find out?
"I over heard Margaret telling Frank."
"Oh great, now the whole camp knows!"
"Only the officers. They refuse to talk to the enlisted men."
"Snobbish gits…" Alex grumbled darkly. "Who gives them the right?"
"They do. They made a bad impression on you I see?"
"Obviously. Is murder a crime in Korea?"
"Probably. Not that anyone cares at the moment. There is far too much murder going on here. We see the lucky ones." Hawkeye took an angry gulp of his beer. Alex was silent for a few seconds before downing the rest of her gin. She stared at the empty glass for a few seconds before standing up.
"I'd better get going. I've got some things to think about, sleep to catch up on, stuff like that," she announced to Hawkeye.
"Do you want me to walk you back?" he asked genuinely interested.
"No thanks. I'm not going to get attacked walking across a compound," Alex chuckled sarcastically, the frown deepening slightly. She quickly walked out of the officers club, leaving Hawkeye to wonder if he was really that repulsive.
A/N: Hilo, just responding to my reviews! =3
BlueSparkle123: Thanks for the double post, lol. Anyway, I don't know about tension… maybe just enough so that you can cut it with a knife maybe…
soccerchick4563: Just to let you know, I'm not insane… Often…. puts up a sock puppet that looks like a raccoon and pretends to make it talk.
R: That's not true.
MC: Yes it is… be quiet you rodent.
R: Ferret.
MC: I'll call you a ferret if you want…
R: No thanks…
MC: I thought not
Romancer 4-Eva: Thank you for being my beta and sticking up with me being painful through this chapter. Also, on the point of you being able to read ahead of time, shhhh the others don't know that…. Lol
Mergh, sorry for taking so long, the writers block, it's a killer. But I've already started the next chapter, so hopefully it wont be too long…