Guiding Light

---------------------------------

Summary: Shawn Farrell has a gift, but all gifts come at a price. Or maybe this is just a down side to his gift. There's only one way to find out.

A/n: Sorry it took so long.. I am having troubles writing Jordan because I haven't been able to watch him on the screen. grumbles xD. This chapter is all Jordan for those of you who wanted it. I hope that it is okay.

Disclaimer: The 4400 belongs to USA… if I owned it… JORDAN WOULDN'T HAVE DIED…

---------------------------------

"The Forty-Four What?"

---------------------------------

The next day was anything but easy for Shawn. But as hard as it was for Shawn, it was worse for Jordan. He awoke early and got ready to make his usual trip to the hospital to visit Shawn. He hoped that Shawn was awake.

He sincerely missed having the kid around. In some ways it was like he was the son that he never used to have the time to worry about. It was like Shawn was his own kid. After all they had gone through in the past year…

Jordan shook it off as he started walking down the hallway, smiling at some of the nurses that knew him by name now, but he never said anything to them. He'd just smile.

Just as he was about to go into the room that housed Shawn, he was stopped. He turned around and came face to face with Tom Baldwin. "Jordan," Tom said curtly.

"Tom," Jordan said, returning the tone.

"There's something you better know before you go in there."

Jordan just looked at him, willing him with his eyes to tell him what was going on. If something had happened to Shawn to make things worse, everything would begin snowballing again like it had right after Shawn had fallen into the coma. He had just managed to pull everything back together at the center; he didn't need another avalanche burying him again. He didn't think he could take it.

"Shawn woke up… yesterday," Tom said quietly, awaiting the blow up from Jordan.

"Well that's good, isn't it?" Jordan asked with a smile on his face. He felt so much relief, it was so unexplainable. Sure he was a little mad that he wasn't told, but Shawn was awake and that was all that matters.

"That's not everything," Tom said. Jordan's heart sank. There was something else? Something to mess up the joy he felt that Shawn was awake?

"It isn't?" Jordan asked, for some reason expecting the worst.

"No… when he woke up…" Tom didn't know how to explain it. "He doesn't remember… anything post abduction. He doesn't know who you are. He doesn't know what the 4400 is. He just doesn't remember any of it."

Jordan was shocked into silence. This was just a little hard for him to wrap his head around. Shawn was thankfully awake, but he didn't remember anything. Pros and cons. Well, at least he was awake. "Well, can I see him?" Jordan asked, still a bit worried by the news.

"I don't think it would really be the best idea," Tom said. He was worried about Shawn too.

"And why not?"

"Because, he has no clue who you are. He still thinks that it is 2001. He still thinks that everything is all right. And I haven't seen Susan so happy in the longest time, and I don't want you to screw that up!" Tom said, beginning to get angry.

Jordan kept his cool demeanor as Tom once again began to lose his temper.

"And what happens, Tom, when Shawn suddenly remembers everything? What happens when Shawn remembers that he ran away and I helped him through probably one of the hardest times in his life? What happens then Tom?"

Tom thought for a second. "We'll worry about that when the time comes."

"Well, when that time comes, Susan won't be happy, she won't be happy at all."

"And since when do you know what makes my sister happy and what doesn't?" Tom snapped.

Jordan kept his cool. "Look, I'm going into see Shawn, whether he remembers me or not. I'll help him along; because we all know that the sooner he remembers the better it is going to be. The sooner we learn what happened. You know that too."

Tom was silent. How was it that Jordan had that gift of twisting one's words around?

Jordan took advantage of the situation to turn around and at least attempt to go into the room. He knew that Tom was going to stop him and try to tell him how wrong he was for doing this again, but he didn't care. It was worth a try.

But Tom didn't try to stop him. Tom just stood there and watched as Jordan walked into the room.

Shawn was asleep. Or so everyone thought. Jordan just sat down in his usual chair. He was close to Shawn. Tom remained standing in the doorway as Jordan just sat there. It was as if Shawn was still in the coma when Tom watched the two of them. Jordan sat in silence as he usually did. Shawn was probably still weak, so he needed all the sleep he could get. He really did.

Jordan didn't want to wake him. He was so peaceful while he was sleeping. To him, it was still like he was in the coma. To him, it was like nothing had changed. But it had.

What seemed like a while later, Tom left the room. He figured that Shawn was fast asleep so he didn't have to make sure Jordan didn't do anything stupid.

After Tom left, Jordan knew he only had a short amount of time before his son came in after him. Kyle was normally the one that sent him back to the Center. But today was different.

He stood up and walked to the other side of Shawn. The young healer's eyes opened. He hadn't been asleep. He had heard everything. The door had been opened when Jordan and Tom had their little argument, and he had heard everything.

But he didn't know who Jordan was. He didn't know why Uncle Tommy didn't like Jordan. But Shawn could tell that from his uncle's angry tone with the man.

"Could you answer my questions?" Shawn asked, his voice quiet. He wanted answers. He had never been so confused before… wait, yes he had. He was confused in his PreCalc class that seemed to have actually happened a lot longer before. Could it really be that long that he didn't remember anything?

Something really must have screwed with his brain.

Jordan's face smiled. The first real smile he had felt on his face for the longest time. "I'll try," he said, sitting down.

"Who are you?" Shawn asked. The man looked so familiar, but Shawn just couldn't place him.

"Jordan Collier," he responded.

"I know you, but I don't know from where…" Shawn said, his voice fading away.

"The 4400 Center. It's the place that you've called home for the past year."

Jordan could see the confusion etched in the younger boy's features. "What's the 4400?" Shawn asked. It was the question he knew he should have asked first. Everyone knew what they were. Everyone except for him. He had no idea what everyone was talking about.

Jordan sighed. He knew that Shawn was going to ask that question, but he wasn't sure if he could answer it.

"Well. As far as I can tell, over the last 60 years, 4399 people and yourself, were taken, abducted if you would, by people from the future." Jordan paused, letting that sink in. He could tell that Shawn probably thought that he was mentally insane, but he continued anyways. "Then all in a big flash of light, everyone was returned right at the same lake where I believe you were abducted. These people, you and me included, were taken and sent back for a purpose, to make the world a better place."

Shawn was just a little confused, but something about what the man was saying seemed to hit inside of him. He couldn't quite explain it. Shawn closed his eyes. He was so confused. He wanted it all to stop.

"Why does Uncle Tommy hate you?" Shawn asked quietly, after a few very uncomfortable moments of silence passed between the two of them.

Jordan chuckled. "I don't think your uncle hates me as much as he we have different ideals."

"Huh?" Shawn asked.

Jordan laughed. He just realized how underused his laugh had been the past few days. It seemed like it had been years since the man had laughed, and it wasn't forced.

"Your uncle and I don't see eye to eye on things," Jordan restated.

"Oh," Shawn said quietly, looking around the room so he wouldn't have to look the other man in the eyes. If Uncle Tommy didn't like him, there certainly had to be something wrong with him, but deep down, Shawn felt he could trust the man. But Uncle Tommy was rarely ever wrong. But maybe just this once…

Jordan could feel the tension when Shawn looked away and busied himself with objects around the room. If he did have a gift he sure wished he could read people's minds, because Jordan would have given any amount of money to be able to know what was going through the teen's head at that very moment.

"Why did I run away?" Shawn finally said, figuring that this man would know. He had heard their entire conversation (Jordan and Uncle Tommy), and it only made matters worse.

"You just had some family problems," Jordan said, not wanting to 'ruin Shawn and Susan's relationship' as Tom had put it. Although both Shawn and Susan did a pretty good job at ruining that in the past. Shawn's memory issue was working more in favor of them than him, and Jordan was more than just a little upset about that.

"I did?" Shawn asked.

Jordan decided not to go any further on the topic. "It'll come back to you, promise," Jordan said, patting the boy on the shoulder.

"It will?"

"Promise," Jordan smiled.

Shawn didn't push the issue anymore. He could tell that the man didn't want to talk about it. So like he said, it would come back to him. Shawn just hoped that it would come soon. He hated being confused and in the dark.

Suddenly, Kyle burst in the door. "Shawn man!" he said, nearly tripping as he rushed to get over to his best friend's side. Shawn was so happy to see first hand that Kyle was all right. But then he reminded himself that he didn't remember anything that happened since the beach incident, and that was so long ago.

Jordan sighed. His time was up, as much as he didn't want to leave, he knew that he had to go. He went to go out the door when Shawn's voice stopped him.

"Thanks a lot Jordan," Shawn said, his voice sounding very sincere.

Once again (like he had so many times so far today), Jordan smiled. "Any time Shawn," he responded, before leaving.

Yes, Shawn was on the mend, things could only get better.

---------------------------------

A/n: Where'd all y'all go?

Saynt Jimmy - xD! Exactly, and sorry if I confused you, Shawn can't remember anything from before he was abducted, like the last thing he remembered was drinking at the beach with Kyle… does that clear things up?

sarahofearth - Yeah, I have so much crap to do before school gets started… xD, wouldn't want you to hurt your monitor or anything like that… I know, Sunday seems to be the day I always want to come quickly (except for marching season when I look forward to Fridays). Yes, yay for angry Jordan, at least I think he is gonna be angry.

Spice9 - I'm glad.

4400 - I try to get in the head of the characters… but yes, you did make sense. Trust me.

Oh yeah, I started a Xanga where I'll be posting my updates and such, if you're interested. It is just the www. xanga. com / rockstarhobbit (without the spaces of course). Feel free to check it out. It is still in progress, but if you wanna comment with ideas and yell at me to write, feel free to do it there.

Thanks for reading!