Neurosis is the Norm
Chapter 3Just a warning chapter 3 contains some strong language and sex references which some may find offensive.
After an eventful shift with Amber, Doreen headed into the station yard. Taking the key out of the ignition she raised an eyebrow at Amber as she slammed the door on her way out of the car.
"Did you shut the door hard enough Amber?" she shouted,
Barely acknowledging Doreen's statement she carried on walking past the rest of the relief who were standing outside. Waiting for the panda to pass Doreen walked up to them,
"So how was your first day on the beat?" Smithy asked as he folded his arms resting them on his chest.
"Not too bad apart from PC Hohansson's mood swings, anyone would think she's about to drop a sprog" she giggled, snorting occasionally.
"Doreen it's pronounced Yo-hanson, I think it originates from Sweden or somewhere like that. Easy mistake though." Reg added.
"Ahh Reggie your so sweet" she said in an angelic voice while pinching his cheek,
"She was making a point you plank, Johansson… Hohansson" Tony mocked,
"Ahh I see, all this gateaux talk is too confusing for me what happened to the good old days when people talked the Queens English, society is being influenced far too much by youths these days" Reg continued.
"Mate I think you'll find its Ghetto not gateaux" Dan replied, shaking his head at Reg.
After a short burst of laughter the conversation fizzled out, breaking the silence said,
"How do ya' fancy a drink down the local, to celebrate your first day",
"I've got a better idea, how do you fancy coming back to my place I've got plenty of booze left over from Christmas, and its free!" Doreen added,
The relief looked at each other and replied,
"Yeah, fine by us".
Doreen knew that the relief would not miss out on free drinks,
"Well I better get changed out of these things. Aren't they just so glam" She joked.
In the locker rooms she saw Amber powdering her face in front of the mirror, standing behind her she said
"Putting your war paint on I see",
Huffing Amber turned on her stiletto heels and cornered Doreen,
"Think your funny do you, well you're absolutely pathetic! Everyone pretends to like you but do you honestly think that they do there probably outside talking about you. Your OAP Barbie, that's all you are, no wonder you're divorced what person would put up with you".
Yawning she replied,
"Truthfully Amber I'm disappointed in you, I thought you could do better than that. OAP Barbie, my sides are splitting! And to think I thought you were like moi how silly of me, you're far to thick. Now I must get on I'm going for a drink with my colleagues, you know Amber those people outside that don't like me".
Realising there was no comeback Amber stormed out of the lockers leaving Doreen alone.
"Go Dory its your birthday, we gonna get naughty likes its your birthday" she chanted to herself.
Walking over to her locker she turned the lock and the door swung open, inside the shelf was filled up with toiletries and cosmetics. Lifting out a large bag she carried it towards the mirror and undid the zip. After applying her make up she picked up the bag, unaware that the zip was still open the contents cascaded out hitting the floor and immersed Doreen into a huge cloud of powder.
"Fuck it!" She spluttered as she picked the contents up beneath the rubble a photo laid on the floor. Wiping the front of it she looked at the man in the photo, he had chiselled features and dark brown hair. A fuchsia lipstick caught her eye, winding it down she drew over his face emblazoning the word 'WANKER' across his forehead.
'Ahh now that's an improvement!" she grinned, folding it up and shoving it into her jacket pocket.
Just as she stood up the door swung open and Gina stood in the frame,
"C'mon its bloody freezing, Smithy looks like his balls are about to drop off"
Grabbing her coat and clutch bag she followed Gina out of the station. Still in the back yard the others huddled together, the chill circulating through their rigid bodies. As Doreen stepped outside she saw Smithy, arms folded across his chest still but looking frozen.
"Cor you look like a pile of ice sweetie, a nice whisky will get your meat and two veg sizzling in no time. I mean I'm sure they are already with big feet like yours I doubt you have problems in the you no what department." She babbled on linking her arm in his as they walked away. With a look of sheer horror Smithy turned to look behind catching Gina in a hysterical fit.
Another chapter done, short I know but it fills a gap and helps lead into some mischevious happenings! Thanks for reading plz plz plz review!