DISCLAIMER: Once again... I own only my Coldplay CD's, past that, the world is yours my friend.

I've been told this is a sad one, actually got one person to tear up, or so they say. Tell me what you think por favor.

-Just A Swig-

Rory swiveled on her stool, unknowingly picking at the padding that crept from the seams of her seat. Her furrowed brow conveyed that she was thinking of more than just the brown contents of her dirty glass.

What's this you ask?

She took one last pained gulp of the bartender's concoction, hoping that it would drown her pain for good. Knowing it wouldn't, she stood up and slid a few dollars across the counter, waiting for the man's nod of approval before briskly walking out the door. Eager to escape the hell her life had become.

Why this is booze my friend.

When had her life become so routine? This wasn't her, she didn't want this to be her. But nonetheless, it was, and somehow she couldn't escape.

No, no, it's not the devil's work.

The door squeaked open revealing Rory's tired features in the frame.

"Welcome Ms. Gilmore," Mrs. Lockewood bellowed, not once looking up from her papers.

"Hey," Rory responding, tossing her bag on the floor and sinking into the couch. She didn't know why, but Mrs. Lockewood was different from her other therapists, for some reason when she spoke to her she just felt so relaxed.

"Drinking again," she said dryly, moving to a chair closer to her patient. Rory silently cursed herself as a hand flew up to her mouth. Damn this woman had a nose.

"Only a little," she tried. Mrs. Lockewood nodded, making a few scribbles on the sheet attached to her clipboard. "I swear."

Her eyes focused on Rory's own saddened expression, "And why have you started again?" she questioned, honest concerned laced in her words. Rory shrugged, not sure how to place words with how she was feeling. "Is it because of your mom?"

Of course it was, it always was, the both of them knew that. Not once had Rory come in with a problem that didn't lead right back to her mother, or her newfound lack of a mother.

No, no, it's for the greater good.

She could feel the burning behind her eyes, the flush of her cheeks. She wanted desperately not to cry. Not again. She always cried, and no matter how many tears flowed from her baby blue eyes, the pain stayed.

"Yeah," she breathed looking down at her feet.

"And do you want to talk about it?"

The question hung in the air as if the world was holding it's breath. Rory had never spoke directly on the events that had altered her life so effortlessly. She had never really shared all that she was feeling inside. But there was a first for everything, maybe this was hers.

It stops all the pain, do you want me to have pain?

Yes, now was her time. Her time to release the pressure on her chest, maybe then she could breathe. Maybe then she could live. So closing her eyes she welcomed all those forbidden memories that rushed back into her brain, giving her a sensory overload. All those forgotten feelings returning to her fingertips.

No stormy nights, no howling winds. No, her story had started on the perfect day. Not a cloud in a sky, it was picture perfect. That of a fairy tale, the birds were chirping, sun shining, trees casting shade in all the right places, those sort of things, the things you only dream of. But nothing is ever perfect, there is always a flaw, sometimes people are just polite enough to point it out, but not this time. This time, people were pointing, staring, and making sure that everyone in the world knew her flaw. At least that's how it felt to Rory.

Even today she could hear the words she had screamed at her mother and the words her mother had calmly returned. She could feel her heart beating rapidly in frustration towards Lorelai. Even today she could taste the tears that had dripped from her puffy eyes into her open mouth as the door slammed. And the part she hated most, was even today she could smell the burning rubber when she walked onto the site of the accident. Even today she could sense that fear. That fear that she herself had caused.

"You're such a bi-tch!" Rory yelled, hoping in at least some way it had reached her mother and hurt her even just the tiniest bit.

"Is that how you feel Rory? Because really, as second grade as this sounds, it takes one to know one." Rory was shocked at how smoothly Lorelai's words had flowed out of her mouth. Her voice didn't crack, or raise at any point, she just spoke, and somehow that hurt Rory even more.

"Real mature of you mom."

"Since you're one to talk." There it was again.

"Ugh, I wish you hadn't come here, I wish we still weren't speaking, I wish you would just leave me alone. Forever." Rory knew she was being childish, she was mad, and stubborn. Not the best mix she determined.

"You want me to leave?" Lorelai said, sounding agitated, "Gladly. Call me when you're in a better mood."

"I won't be, not with you any ways." Rory regretted the words immediately, she would definitely have to work on comebacks.

So Lorelai left, slamming the door forcefully behind her, never knowing how much that one sound would affect her daughters life. It was that one sound that led to the demise of all she ever had. It was that one sound, that led to the biggest breakdown of her life. She couldn't handle the pressure any more, her life wasn't supposed to be like this, her mother wasn't supposed to be like this. She was supposed to support her, no matter what decisions she made, but apparently Rory dropping out of Yale was just too much to accept.

It can cure anything, just give it time.

Rory knew that within a few hours, she would have forgiven both her mother and herself. The differences would be settled, the tears dried, the harsh words purposely forgotten as to wipe the pallet clean. But Rory didn't have that time, and without time, wounds don't heal.

The shrill ring pierced the heavy air of the pool house. Rory sluggishly climbed off the couch and tossed items here and there in search of her cell phone. Later, she would look back and wish she had never picked up at all, wish that she had been asleep, wish that the call had never been made. But that was only wish, what happened really happened, and now was time to face it.

I swear, only time. Just trust it's magic, and give it time.

Rory reluctantly flicked open her phone after glancing at the name plate. It read unknown, risky business she figured, but what better things did she have to do with her time?

"Hello?"

Their voice was thick and raspy, "Ms. Gilmore?"

Rory's mind fogged, she had heard this tone only once before, and no good outcome came from it. "Mmhmm?"

"I'm Officer Tanner, uh... I'm afraid." And it was over, she knew something had gone terribly wrong, but she didn't want to find out, she just wanted to hang up and forget all about the man with the foggy voice. "I'm afraid there's been an accident."

"With who?" she barely managed.

"Lorelai Gilmore," he said, showing little emotion in his voice. "You should probably come down," he paused, "to... to identify the body."

It stopped right there, Rory didn't remember anything past that point. She didn't remember saying goodbye, or walking to the car. She didn't remember driving the hour to the sterilized hospital where Lorelai's lifeless body lay. The only thing she remembered was that in her mind, it was her fault. It didn't matter that she had been hit head on by a careless driver. It didn't matter that the roads had been slippery. Nothing matter, she just knew it was her fault, and she still felt that way today.

Good, you've seen it now, so a toast, to me and you, through and through. I need a toast.

Her pain could not be expressed, she could not draw a picture to help Mrs. Lockewood understand. It was something she alone had to be burdened with, something she alone had to work through. And they both knew that.

"Wow," Mrs. Lockewood proclaimed upon hearing her accounts, "you've been through a hell of a lot." Rory's eyes filled with tears thinking of just how much more she was supposed to go through, to go through with her mother. How much they both would have experienced had she not forced her out the door with her heartless words. "I'm sorry."

"It's nothing you did."

"But I still feel like sh-it about it, you didn't deserve all this. I'm apologizing for life, not my actions." Rory smirked, same attitude as Lorelai, that must be why she liked Mrs. Lockewood so much.

"Thanks."

"No, thank you."

But Rory knew, no matter how much better this had made her feel, she would still go home tonight settle into her bed, and have her heart break all over again.

EL FIN