I'm not happy with the opening paragraph, but hopefully you'll forgive me past that. It's another sad one, but not as sad as the next!

-Start With One Step-

Rory Gilmore had been scared before. She was scared at the first Friday Night Dinner, scared on her first day of Chilton. Scared to tell Dean that she loved him, and years later, scared to tell him those words were no longer true. Scared to choose Jess, scared what others would think. Scared to graduate, scared to leave her mother and go to Yale. Scared she wouldn't succeed. And oddly enough, scared to leave Yale, but the one thing she had not been scared to do was tell her mother her decision, to come home, to take a break. That's why disapproval hurt Rory so deeply. And today, as she sat in her parked car, that's exactly what she was scared of.

She took a deep breath as she opened the door allowing the familiar bells to jingle in their delighted mayhem. The diner was nearly empty, the few stragglers placed here and there around the room sat, slowly sipping at their coffee dregs and taking the last bites of their grilled cheeses, but none bothered to look up as Rory hovered in the doorway, unsure as to whether she should take that last step in.

She stayed like that, scared to move, scared to breathe, scared to see the one man she had come to Stars Hollow for, of what he might say, of what he might not say. Scared of seeing just how disappointed in her he had become. That's why she stayed silent when he appeared in the kitchens entrance.

"Close that damn door," Luke bellowed never looking up from an order form he clutched in his hands.

Rory remained motionless.

He continued to stare at that piece of paper, obviously running numbers in his mind, but upon the absence of sounding bells he lifted his gaze to whoever was letting that freezing winter air in. "Rory," he breathed. She stood, fidgeting with the smooth gloves enclosing her slender hands, glancing between Luke's rough gaze and the blank floor. Neither knew what to say next, neither knew what the other was thinking, what they were feeling, what they should be expecting. They just stood there, taking each other in, wanting so desperately for this to feel normal, but knowing that wasn't possible.

I've been shot, wounded in battle,

Unstrap me, help me off my saddle.

I've served my time I need a break.

I've given it all and there's nothing to take.

All her life Rory had loved Luke, loved the way he only let certain people see his true personality behind that gruff facade, loved the way he loved her and her mother. Loved the way he was always there. Loved the way he cared. She even loved those damn cheeseburgers. But things had changed. She had changed, and now, she wasn't sure if she was staring at the same Luke.

The silence filled the room engrossing everyone in the presented drama and leaving Luke and Rory at even more of a loss for words. He looked at Rory, watching her movement, her eyes, recording every piece of data he could, hoping that it would tell him something about her. A piece he had missed, a piece he didn't know. But her eyes were blank, fogged with pain and sadness, something he knew he couldn't penetrate, something that went deeper than the surface. So knowing this would take more than a glance, he did what he knew best.

"Coffee?" he asked hesitantly.

Rory looked around the room, sizing up the gossip that would soon be spread, she didn't really want to stay, but she had come too far to turn back. "Sure."

Luke pulled out a familiar blue mug from underneath the counter upon her response. A mug that had seen Rory through many rough times, a mug that fit perfectly into her hands, that slipped effortlessly between her lips, the mug that she missed more than she knew.

Yet you continue to kill me,

I am so blind, but I can still see.

Maybe it's because you aren't here,

But your presence is so near.

Rory sat quietly in the wooden chair at the table, glancing around the room. Being Luke, he had politely invited her to his apartment when she had finished her coffee. She hadn't known how to say no, so she followed him up the familiar stairs, into his new home. She immediately felt bad. Luke lived here, in a bachelor pad, alone without Lorelai. They had had plans. They had a future, they had a life. They lived in the Gilmore house, a real house not some uninviting flat, and the fact that Luke was now crammed in his un-homely abode was her fault. The fact that there were boxes upon boxes scattered across the floor made her stomach churn. The fact that in the place of curtains a sheet was stapled to the window frame made her mind race, and the fact that it shouldn't be this way made Rory feel horrible. But she didn't say anything, she just continued to scan, hoping her eyes would find something to comfort her mind, to tell her that he was okay, and that she hadn't done harm.

Luke noticed her darting eyes, "I'm sorry it's not decorated too well."

"Oh, no, no, no. It's fine really, it's totally fine," she reassured.

He hesitated, thinking of the next thing to say, "So do you want a beer or something?"

Rory quietly laughed, beer and coffee, her grandparents would be proud. "Yeah, sure, but I'll get it," she said as she stood up and walked towards the refrigerator. Her hand froze as she reached for the door, there, boldly contrasting with the off white fridge stood a small photo. One of an ultrasound. "What's... what's this?" she questioned running her fingers over the smooth film.

Luke got up, getting a closer look at her intrigue. "An ultrasound." He stated simply.

"Who's?" Rory pressed.

Luke sighed and shifted uncomfortably, "Your mothers."

And just as easily as she had fallen before, she want tumbling down again. Rory had never known, and now, she wished she never had because maybe recovery was more painful than she thought.

EL FIN