He never thought he would see her face again. So when he opened the package Marco sent to him and found her staring at him from the cover of a book, to say the least it took him by surprise.
Ellie had been dead for almost 3 years and Craig was just making peace with that, why would Marco send him another reminder of her tragic end? There was a note attached to the book. Craig's hand shook as he placed the book on the counter and read the note.
Dear Craig,
Two years ago I found an old manuscript of Ellie's. The story was brilliant and beautiful just like Ellie. It was the story of her life and it needed to be told. So in her memory I had her book published. I wanted you to have a copy. I think you will enjoy it.
Love
Marco
Craig put the note down and picked up the book. He opened it up and saw it had a dedication
To Marco, Ashley, Alex, Paige, Jimmy, and especially Craig, Thank you. I love you all.
He dropped the book on the ground and backed out of the kitchen slowly.
"I can't," He whispered to the darkness. "I can't, not yet."
He left Ellie's book on the floor in his kitchen for a week. He walked around it when he had to and pretended it wasn't there. He would deal with it when he could and not a minute before.
Ellie was found face down in her bathroom 3 years ago. She planned it well, there was a long, well written note on the door. The note described the pain she had been going through since leaving Degrassi. She apologized for all the people she would be hurting with this selfish act but told them it had to be done.
The pills belonged to Alex. She had been given quite a few painkillers after a horrible motorcycle accident a few months prior and she never took any. Ellie found them in the medicine cabinet of the apartment they shared.
Marco found her hours after she took the entire bottle of Vicodin. The image still hasn't stopped haunting him. He didn't realize when he called 911 that he was more then four hours too late.
The funeral was the worst day of Craig's life. No one, but Ashley, blamed him but it was as if people were glaring at him the whole time. It took the entire group months to move on but for some reason it took Craig longer. He knew had he stayed with her and never left her for Manny she might have had the courage to keep on. But he took so much when he left and her death was on his head.
Marco called about a thousand times and Craig avoided his call. He became recluse just like he did 3 years prior when she died.
One night he couldn't sleep. Craig tossed and turned for almost four hours before he finally got up. He went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of milk. He stared at the book lying on the floor and suddenly he couldn't ignore it anymore. Craig reached down and picked it up. He gently ran his hands along the smooth cover. The picture on the front was from their last year at Degrassi. She was smiling, her green eyes flashing and that flaming red hair framing her face; it was so familiar even now so long after.
"Ellie" he whispered quietly. Craig took the book and went to his room. He flicked on the light and crawled into his bed. Reading this book would be one of the hardest things he ever had to do. Tears would fall and he would feel that whole in his heart again. But he had to do it. Craig owed it to Ellie to read this book. He let her down once; he vowed that he wouldn't let her down this time.