"Bless me, Father-"
" " -for I have sinned", yes yes. A marksmen with that phrase, I might add." Van screwed his eyes shut as the flap was drawn open to reveal Cardinal Jinette.
"First de Rose Weendow, now de West face af big Ben. What next, I wondur?!"
"Well, not to be pointing fingers, it was McDougal who smashed the West Face."
"You are driving de Holy Order insane wit your eccentric methods, and now de bounty for you has increased. We are not pleased at all by dis."
"Oh, do we have to have this conversation again?! Enough with the déjà vu already!" Not to mention that Van's shoulder still hurt like hell because it was dislocated. He badly just wanted to see Carl so that he didn't bang his head against the walls to forget that there was something wrong with his arm.
"Well, since your head 's badly wanted lately," Van's boss rose from his seat, and pushed the button that allowed Helsing to come through; "we have another mission for you."
Van rolled his eyes, and carefully walked down the steps so that his arm wouldn't shriek in pain.
"We have heard of a terrorization in Cairo. An ancient beast that has not been dealt with for thousands of years; ever since the Egyptians disappeared, really." Van just wanted him to hurry up; he was looking at the swords with an interest.
"- and we have assigned you for this mission. Godspeed."
"Excuse me? I didn't catch that last bit." Van tried not to move his arm.
"You are being sent to Cairo to confront the beast."
"Wait a minute. If it's not in our continent, it's not my problem."
"It is-" Cardinal Jinette's voice rose above his, "When five of the Order are brutally killed in trying to defeat this creature. But I know you can do this job." Van's boss smacked him in the back for good luck, but Van had trouble trying not to scream from the pain.
An explosion was heard, and a stooped figure approached Van with eyes too large to fit his face.
"Carl, what are you doing?" Van was regaining control.
"Oh, Van Helsing! What a sight to see you again." He placed a hand jauntily on Van's right shoulder, "I take it you killed Cian McDougal. You know you really should-"
"Carl."
"No really, I mean it. If you just-"
"Carl." Van's voice was rising.
"Well, I mean, you could-"
"Carl!"
"What, what? Yes, what is it?"
"Your hand….is on….my dislocated shoulder." Van's voice was calm. WAY too calm.
"Dislocated shoulder? Dear me, why didn't you say so in the first place?" Carl carefully took Van's arm, and in a quick scissors- like motion, Van's arm was snapped back into place.
"How are you feeling?"
"Better." Van tested his fingers as they tingled from pins and needles.
"Well then. I hear your going to be traveling. Well, never hurts to be prepared. Come along." Carl scuffled off, leaving Van to only follow.
"Right, well. First things first." Carl picked up some items.
"Right, your usual stainless steel blowgun equipped ONLY with knock- out darts."
"Oh, what's the fun if all I can do is knock out this "Mummy"? Sounds like I have to return him to Red Riding Hood's house."
Carl looked shocked at what Van had said.
"If there's one thing that'll kill you in a different country, it's disrespecting their culture."
"How do you know? You inside these walls, day in, day out."
"I have friends, you know."
"Oh gee, what a terrible thought." Van smirked as Carl playfully shoved him.
"Okay, here is something called an ankh." Carl held up the Egyptian key.
"Angst? Why called such a strange trinket that?"
"No no, it's pronounced A- N- K- H. Like a Conch shell. Anyway, it's said that it will open doors that no normal key can. That'll come in handy. Oh, yes, I think you'll need this again." He handed Van his silver bust shotgun, "Only I made a few adjustments. Instead of it being one bullet fired from the gun, it splices into lead shards. Good for ambushes. Also, a scarab charm," He slid the necklace over Van's head, "Ah, Egyptian scrolls; don't worry, I've translated them. A bundle of stakes; oh don't look at me like that; I'm sure no vampires are going to be roaming around in Cairo, and finally…" Carl picked up a white cat.
"Take Snowball with you."
"Snowball?!" Van looked amusedly perplexed, "What for? Does it want a piece of the action? Wants to be the next Puss in Boots?" The cat hissed undignified.
"No, actually. They say that mummies are afraid of cats; don't ask why. Right, well, good luck then." He started hobbling away.
"Carl." He could sense the condescending tone in Van's voice.
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no." It was like he was chanting vespers for the evening.
"No use hiding; you're coming with me."
(Why me?) Carl bowed his head, and his bouncy demeanor vanished like a flickering candle flame.
Some time later…
"Do you think this is a bit too much?"
"Only one way to find out."
"Oh, alright."
Carl came out from behind the changing screen. Van stifled a laugh as Carl was checking over himself. He was wearing more garments than one could carry and nothing matched.
"Carl, get over here." Van started to remove garments and rearranging items so at least he would pass as a visitor.
"What about you?"
"Oh, I think I'm prepared." Van placed his hat nonchalantly on top of his night black hair as he spoke, picking up his rucksack.
Their caravel had taken sail, and was leaving the London Harbor.
"Oh, good God." Carl rushed to the railing on the side of the boat, and threw his upper torso over the edge.
Van shook his head as he turned to see the harbor vanish like the apparitions of a dream.
Upon reaching Cairo…
The sun screamed in their faces as they approached Cairo. Palm trees and sand were tamed by this plot of civilized land as merchant ships and themselves were bustling through the docks and city.
"Are you sure you're going to be all right, wearing all that black? I don't think you've notice, but you stand out in the crowd." The two disembarked from the caravel; Van tipped the rim of his hat down from the merciless sun.
Snowball looked VERY disgruntled at the face that it had traveled in what looked to be an abandoned lobster cage.
"What an odd place. I mean, I've never seen such architecture before. And, and…"Van grabbed Carl by his Arabic "caol".
"Are you always this chatty?" Their conversation was cut short when a scream was heard.
Crowds scrambled to safety as a jet-black creature loomed over its intended victim. Van pulled out his gas- propelled crossbow, and took aim.
"What du yu tink you are dooing?" Van turned to see an Arab staring at him, "Yu doo not interfere with his mealtime, tis very bad omen, it is."
"Well, excuse me if I cut his bill short." Van pulled the trigger and let out a hailstorm of bolts.
Whatever the black creature was, it scuttled off, the bolts harmlessly bouncing off of its black exoskeleton. It squalled an ear-piercing screech as it retreated into the sewer pipes of the city.
"Damn, it got away." Van lowered his crossbow, and noticed that suffocating crowds draw closer.
"Do you always have to draw attention to yourself?" Carl was shifting towards Van.
"Well, you gotta kill the thing somehow." Van started to back away, lifting up his rucksack.
"He has angered the Desert Spirit!"
"Now he will come for us all in our beds!"
"Who is that stranger?!"
"Popularity gets the better of you, doesn't it?"
"Don't ixnay it, Carl." Van was ready to make a pathway when a voice spoke up.
"Let thes man pass, along with hes manservant." The stranger spoke with a Spaniard accent.
Carl was infuriated at the man's comment, but Van held out a hand to stop him from breaking the Sixth Commandment. The crowd backed away to reveal, well…not much.
He was mostly cloaked in thick white cloth that was torn at the bottom, save for where his eyes were shown. From what Van could see, this man was in his early twenties and lanky for his stature.
"Forgive Cairo, traveler. They are not used to prominent strangers. You can pass." The figure bowed, and a lock of white hair slipped from the mask of clothing.
Van took little notice of it as he lowered the rim of his hat even more. Something didn't feel right.
The harbor almost felt…dead.