If it was You, That'd be Fine!

"I cannot BELIEVE THIS! That no good, horrible--" Sister Rosette Christopher barged into her room yelling various obscenities that probably shouldn't ever be uttered in a holy place. Rosette wasn't exactly one to follow the rules though.

I tried not to appear too eager to see her as she slammed the door loudly. This was one of the few times she had gone out exorcising without me due to a prior engagement on my part, and though I was reassured it would be easy, I still worried for her. I always worried for her, even when I'm with her.

But it's not like I'll tell HER that.

I'm sure she was glaring at me, sitting on her bed, casually reading a book. I didn't even have to look up to know that. Her aura told enough without requiring me to even glance at her.

I had once tried to explain to her about auras. I told her an aura was unique for every person and was made up of the small bit of astral energy inside of themselves. Essentially an aura is just a fancy term for one's soul. All it really told a demon was that someone was there and what they were feeling at the time, both which could be used to their advantage. It was difficult in my smaller form to make out individual auras, but since I was so intimately connected to Rosette's, hers was incredibly easy to find and pinpoint.

She then asked me what her aura was like and I told her it was like standing in a field of wildflowers, smelling and seeing and touching, only in my mind. I knew she didn't understand, and I didn't expect her to. The pure emotion and feelings of auras is nearly indescribable, and most humans would never comprehend it in their lifetime.

Instead of trying to understand it, Rosette simply boxed my ears and told me to stop trying to kiss up.

"Wildflowers." she snorted. "Yeah right." But the way her aura had intensified, and the smell of fresh flowers that had filled my very being told me she was pleased.

I always know what she's thinking, my Rosette. My precious contractor.

And right now, her aura told me she was steaming mad. I smelt burning flowers.

She marched over to me, boots squishing with each step. Almost like she was walking through mud. Then the smell hit me: it was the sour smell of corrupted astral energy and demon innards. Mingled into one foul odor, it was not exactly potpourri.

"Chrno." she said, jabbing a finger accusingly in my face. "Chrno, Chrno." she went on.

I decided then it was a good time to look up. Closing my book, I mocked annoyance and stared at her. "Welcome back."

Her sapphire eyes flashed dangerously, and I knew I was treading on uneasy ground. She was covered head to toe in a thick green slime which was clearly the source of the stench.

"Rosette," I began casually in my best effort to have her lighten up. "You need a bath."

She gritted her teeth. "A bath." she repeated. She tossed her gun onto her nightstand. "Oh, that's nice. You tell me I need a bath." her voice rose with each word.

I braced myself. "Rosette..."

"You, you, you...devil!" she sputtered out. "I'm out there risking my life and limb to stop this stupid demon and you're here reading a book!? On my bed no less?!" she was getting irrational now.

"I was under the impression that it was a low-class demon." I tried to explain. Her boot went flying past my head, and I ducked behind her bed. I popped back up. "You know I would've went, but I promised Azmaria I'd help her out with some research for Sister Kate! And then Satella wanted me to--"

Oh, there went the other boot. I guess blowing her off for a promise to Satella wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear. I ducked, but unfortunately, inertia didn't quite kick in with my braid. The end of it got hit with a sickly splat. I gingerly wiped the edge of it on her quilt. Served her right.

"I thought that with your fantastic skills you'd be able to stop it no problem!" I called over my feeble defense.

She paused and considered that for a moment. I took the moment to pull off my own shoe and ready it in case I dared retaliation.

"You think my skills as an exorcist are fantastic?" she asked lightly.

I peered over the edge. She looked thoughtful. "Yes." I said. Great. I had to resort to flattery to calm a raging teenager that I could probably crush with my mind alone. Yup, that's some great demon pride there, Chrno.

She appeared to be considering, but her aura was a dead giveaway. It was still flared up. The little wretch was baiting me.

"Hi-YAH!" she threw both her gloves at me, heavy with slime. Dual ammunition! How unfair! I threw my shoe at her. She smacked it aside with a careless blow. I gulped. She really was angry. Her gloves hit the wall with a squishy smack.

"Calm down!"

"You have NO idea how angry I am right now!"

"Believe me, I think I have an idea! Just what the heck happened?!"

"You know, everything was going great. I got to go out, my first time in awhile, everything's fine. So I meet this low-class demon."

"What was he like?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me. I had come up from my hiding and had my head propped on my elbows on the bed.

She sneered at me. "A creep. He disguised himself as a business man and then took advantage of prostitutes on the street. He fed off their souls during intercourse."

"Oh. Sounds disgusting." I wrinkled my nose.

"Believe me, it only gets better." she snapped sarcastically. It then dawned on me that she was trying to tear off her habit, however, it was soaked with slime and had become considerably heavier, and during her frustration it was proving difficult to pull off.

"Do you need a hand?" I offered half-jokingly, standing up.

She went on like she didn't hear me. "So I have him cornered in his scummy little office, and I'm surrounded by the corpses of these poor girls." she finally pulled the nun habit over her head then tossed it into the corner, leaving her in a light slip, bloomers and thigh high stockings. They seemed to be the only part of her not soaking in ooze. "And I'm giving him my speech about how horrible he is," she snatched the gun up from her nightstand and aimed it at my head.

Right. As if I was on the same level as this demon.

"And then, out of nowhere, he grabs my arm--"

"You're not hurt are you?" I interrupted, feeling a twinge of anger. If he had touched her at all...well, he better consider himself lucky, being dead.

"He KISSED me." her grip on the gun tightened. "He kissed me!" she repeated louder. Her hand began to shake and her aura began to reflect both misery and hatred.

My whole body shook from sheer anger at this demon. He touched her! Rosette! MY Rosette! I cursed myself for not going along. I would make it up to her in any way I could. I was never going to let her out of my sight. Never.

I could feel the air around me crackle slightly, and I'm sure any demon fifty miles away could feel the change in my aura and were trembling in fear. Good. Let it be a warning. Nobody was to touch Rosette, not while I still walked the earth.

"Are you alright?" I came up to her and put my hand on her cheek, nudging the gun aside with my other hand.

She took a deep breath, and her chin trembled slightly. I was sure she was going to burst into tears at any moment, but instead she pushed me back. "Alright? Oh yeah, I'm fine! Grand even!"

My anger faded a bit. As furious as I was, clearly Rosette hadn't suffered any lasting effects, which was my primary worry. In fact, she seemed perfectly fine, albeit a bit smelly and angrier than usual.

"Yeah, I'm great! It's not everyday some...some... DEMON comes and steals my first kiss!" she yelled, shoving a piece of hair behind her ear with her free hand. There had been such venom in her words, especially when she said 'demon'.

I somehow felt like I should have been insulted. "Um, just to clarify, I am a demon." I pointed out. "I don't appreciate the racism clearly implied." I meant it half-jokingly. I had come to realize that she wasn't hurt, just angry over losing her first kiss.

I could never understand human girls and their obsession with their first kiss. As long as the kiss was a symbol of love, did it really matter if it was your sixth or sixth hundredth?

"I'll give you your second kiss if it means so much to you," I continued, chuckling a bit. The only thing she could throw at me for that comment was her slip, and, well, I doubted that would happen.

"If it was you, that'd be fine, but it was some disgusting piece of trash!" Rosette began to go into a shouting fit again, but I was no longer listening. My heart had stopped pounding.

I wasn't crazy was I? She had clearly said 'if it was you, that'd be fine'. What was that implying?

"Rosette, you just realized you said it'd be okay if I kissed you." I said patiently, but I was confused. Was she even aware of what she was saying anymore? Maybe I had heard wrong.

No, demon ears don't hear wrong.

That comment shut her up. She stared at me. "I said no such thing." she said, although I could swear there was a slight pink tinge to her cheeks. Her aura flashed red for a moment as well.

"No, you did, you said 'If it was you, that'd be--" I hadn't even finished when it dawned on me she still had a loaded gun in her hand. I ducked for cover back behind her bed as she threw it at me.

I guess I really hit a nerve because her aim had gotten horrible, as it usually did when she was really mad. The gun bounced off a bed post then did the worst thing possible: it went off.

BAM!

The noise in the small room seemed amplified as I dove under the bed for cover. In close quarters like that the chances of a Sacred hitting me was huge, and I was no good to Rosette injured. There was a flash and a cross of light appeared for a split second against the wall where the Sacred had hit.

Rosette seemed stunned for a moment. The light faded and I crawled out from under the bed, unscathed but shaken.

"Are you insane?!" I shouted. She didn't reply. I swear that girl has a screw loose.

The door slammed open and Sister Kate stood in the doorway. Her aura was as intense as Rosette's had been only minutes earlier. "What is the MEANING OF THIS?!" she shouted. I could see several nuns and priests trying to peer past Sister Kate.

"I bet it's because of that demon boy." I overheard a priest say to an older nun. They were both right behind Sister Kate, staring at me.

"I don't know why he's allowed. I can barely tolerate Rosette, but a demon in a house of God? Sacrilege!"

That comment about Rosette annoyed me. I bared my fangs at the two of them, and I knew my pupils were turning into tiny slits. They both jumped and went on their way.

Rosette retrieved her gun cringing and turned around. "I'm back Sister Kate." she said cheerfully, as if nothing was wrong.

"Firing off guns in your dorm, tracking a green mess through the convent, and yelling at the top of y--why are you undressed?" the head Sister raised an eyebrow.

Rosette turned bright red and looked at me then Sister Kate then me again. I shrugged. She had nearly blown my head off. I wasn't about to take a stand.

"W-Well..." Rosette stammered.

Sister Kate just sighed and waved her hand. "You know what, I'm sure I don't want to hear it. I expect a report after you shower Rosette. You reek!" she closed the door.

Rosette glared at me. "Thanks a lot. You know this is all your fault."

"Me?!" I yelped. "How am I responsible for this?!"

"I don't know, but when I figure it out you'll be the first to know!" she hissed, wrenching open her drawer with all her might. She pulled out a long navy blue skirt and a white blouse. "I'll be in the shower if you need me." she flipped her hair with a flourish that clearly said 'I hate you, and if you know what's good for you, you'll stay away.'

The hair flipping really wasn't needed. The colorful wildflowers had all gone black and withered. I got the message loud and clear.