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Note: Well, ok, this is going to be a story witha few chapters. This is about a few characters discussing there most memorable, good or bad, sexual encounter. I have no idea where i got this from lol but i hope you guys like it. Thanks to all those who review me, i honestly appreciate it :)
morgan
Annette
It wasn't what I had expected but I suppose nothing ever is, the one thing I have learned from all of this is that its best to expect less so you won't feel dissapointment. They tell you things, tell you things to scare you or deter you from committing the ultimate sin, to prepare you, or so they say, but nothing could have prepared me for that. I was expecting what I assume most girls expect. Not that I was expecting scented candles and rose petals I mean c'mon, there was nothing about you that screamed out scented candles and roses, but I had thought it would mean less. I had always deemed sex to be a very important act that should be thought out and carefully planned. I had always thought it to mean so much which is why I was blown over when it meant far more then I had presumed. And if I had known then what I know now I would have ran for the hills before things got out of control. But of course I didn't know and like the childish girl I am, I threw myself at you with all my might in hopes that you would catch me and unfortunatly you did.
The kissing was nice, I had kissed plenty before you so I was confident in my administrations. Then suddenly your lips moved from my mouth to pieces of skin that had never been touched. The feeling was nice, a welcomed change, nothing drastic, it was enough for me to handle...at first. Being naked infront of a person for the first time is utterly terriffying. Your eyes lingered far too long for comfort and i found my muscles twitching underneath my skin. Skin...a word which held no particular meaning before, started to sound dirty. Your eyes burnt holes in my chest and my belly, your fingers danced lightly over previously untouched areas and i couldn't breath. I never protested any of your actions which i'm sure you were taken aback by, i was quite proud of myself.
After adjusting to the bran new nakedness i found myself thrown into an entirely new situation. Where had your mouth gone? I was incredibly confused. No, i'm not a complete moron, I was aware of...that type of thing but I certainly hadn't expected it, hence my new philosophy on expectations. My thighs instinctivley closed and an embarassing squeal errupted from my throat. There was a tongue where no tongue was ever meant to go. All rational thought was chucked out the window at that point, shocking, because rationality was my strong suit. I had always wondered about that...the act that you were committing on me and as soon as I felt it I was instantly ashamed of ever wondering about such things. The worst part was that despite my shame..I enjoyed it, yes, I enjoyed it despite myself, awful! My fingers curled around something, cloth maybe, and if I had long fingernails i'm sure I would have shredded whatever it was I had been clutching on to for dear life. It was so strange, the feeling, like you were talking to me, telling me secrets, only I couldn't hear them past my shreiks.
The look on your face when you came up for air, I had thought was admiration, now when I think back on it, i'm quite sure it was smugness. You carefully, skillfully, placed your arms on either side of me, trapping me, assuming that I would have sprinted if the oppurtunity presented itself. Blind fear ripped through me as you did. A fire surged through parts of me that had always been neatly tucked away and preserved. And I knew then, that you'd have me forever even if you didn't want me. You took this from me, I threw it at you, either way i'd always belong to you. The feeling is almost undescribable, certainly was not what I had been taught to expect. When you read articles or sit through those horrendous health classes where nurses go on and on about nonsence you don't imagine this, they never tell you about this. Your eyes burrowed into my head, those pretty eyes that i'd die to trust, the same eyes that stared right through me, past me, as if I wasn't really there. I wanted to scream out "do it like you mean it" but I knew oyu didn't mean it. You put all your energy and strength into reassuring me and whispering words of encouragement into my desperate ears. I think my ears simply heard what they wanted to.
It took far too long and it hurt far too much, all of it hurt, Your knife that was stabbing me, your eyes that didn't see me and your mouth that betrayed me. I just wanted you to get off of me, get out of me and leave me to decompose on my own. You didn't want to be there, well, not for the right reasons and I didn't want to be there because my fraudulence made it hard to breath. That's what I was you know, a fraud. There I was, Annette Hargrove, poster girl for the rules of catholicism, spread eagle underneath a devil of a boy. All of my rules and regulations were cast away by a quiver of your lips. If it was that easy then maybe it was never real in the first place. Maybe my high morals weren't so high after all, your proof of that aren't you? Reguardless of all that, my love for you intensified with each thrust, with each bump of your pelvis, with each blink of your vacant eyes. I had discovered numerous things about myself that day, but one thing that didn't change was my complete devotion to you. And as you came I became aware of the fact that part of you was in me, we were connected and I never wanted you to pull out. Actually, i was terriffied that if you did you'd take my insides with you. I imagined that you'd pull out and bring my pancreas, bladder and intestines with you and i'd be left with my organs dangling between my legs, morbid, I know.
I knew that onceI left you'd feel the regret that I already felt and I didn't want to be that sebastian, I didn't want to be your biggest regret, I didn't want to be the worst mistake you ever made. When it was over you laid beside me, mindlessly playing with my bellybutton, softly telling me things, lies. I didn't care what lies you told me, as long as you told them to me softly. And when I left dread piled itself down my throat. Anger smacked me in the face and my stupidity kicked me in the teeth. Oh annette, you were so wrong about everything, I didn't fully understand that then as I do now.
I didn't want to go back to my room, I didn't want to see pictures of my family and friends or more importantly of myself. I tried to shake the thoughts from my head, the bad thoughts. Thoughts of you telling your friends about this, about splitting the headmasters daughter in two. I tried to feel nonchalant, tried not to feel like a rape victim because honestly I wasn't, I just felt like one. My mind was conflicted, I wanted ot wash you off me but keep you inside me, nothing made any sense. But mostly I just didn't want to be alone with myself, when your alone the truth is front and center where usually it just lays underneath the surface. I couldn't handle the truth, not after I did what I did and not after who I did it with.
And there I was, completely undone and violated. It would have been easier, I think, if I had been raped, maybe then I could at least share the blame with someone else. It was the stupidest thing I had ever done because it only made my feelings enflate, it only made me more susceptable to your devious ways and despite all of that, I couldn't possibly have loved you more.
You didn't love me, i'm sure that if someone honestly loves you, you can feel it, all i could feel was the aftermath of my decision running slowly down my leg
hope you guys liked this, either way review me lol thank you