XOXOXOX

A/N heh heh… in Dynasty Warriors five Jiang Wei's got long hair… and Zhou Yun always has long hair… it's just in a pony tail… please forgive me but I have an obsession with gay jokes… I love gay people… don't worry I didn't make anyone gay… p.s. I know Jiang isn't really Zhuge's son It's just he needed a dad… and a mom… so low and behold he turns up being in their family.

DISCLAIMER – Don't own, Don't ask, Don't sue

XOXOXOX

TRAUMATIZED

CHAPTER TWO

XOXOXOX

"Why does your dad think I'm gay? I'M NOT GAY!"

"Well I know that and you know that…"

"OF COURSE I KNOW THAT!"

"Yeah… but my dad he…"

"SHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Jiang Wei and Zhao Yun sat back in their chairs. The other people in the theater obviously like listening to them argue about Zhao Yun's non-homosexuality. The continued watching the movie, which in Zhao Yun's mind was just plot less violence. Jiang Wei on the other hand decided it was cool. They had another argument which resulted in them getting kicked out of the theater.

XOXOXOX

"Zhang He… I really hate you… you know that right… NOW GET UP AND GET READY FOR SCHOOL!"

"I dun-wanna…" Zhang He groaned from his place on his bed, Sima Yi wasn't brave enough to pull the covers off him a second time.

"We have school in an hour! Get up and get dressed!"

"Can you stop tiring to be my mother?"

"When you start paying your side of the rent."

Zhang He got out of bed with a wine.

Sima Yi's eyes widened. "Oh I did not need to see that."

Zhang He twitched.

POOH!

"Ouch! I'm just…"

POOH! POOH! POOH!

Sima Yi once again found himself being chased out of the room by a pillow wielding preppy-psychopath.

SLAM!

Sima Yi stood in the safety of his room. "JUST GET READY FOR SCHOOL!"

"GO DIE YOU PERVERTED FREAK!"

"Hey…"

XOXOXOX

It was another school. Just like any other school day. The birds were singing on the school yard. The nerds were typing away on their laptops. The Goths were in their corner smoking some shit they got off the streets. The Jocks were flirting with their preppy girl friends.

Sun Ce walked towards the object of his teenaged hormones desire. Da Qiao. Captain of the school cheer leading team. "Hey Da Qiao, your looking particularly sexy today."

Da Qiao twitched. "What did you say?"

Lucky for Sun Ce his best friend, Zhou Yu, soccer player extraordinaire was right behind him waiting for him to mess up. Zhou Yu elbowed him in the stomach.

"OUF! I mean you're looking nice… I love that new hair style… yeah…"

Da Qiao laughed. "Thanks, Sun Ce you're sweet."

Sun CE sighed. There was absolutely no way he'd ever get a girl like Da Qiao without Zhou Yu's help.

Just then Da Qiao's little sister, Xiao Qiao, came sprinting up out of no where.

"Ohmygodohmygod! Hihihihihi Zhou Yu!"

Zhou Yu smiled. "Hello Xiao Qiao."

Xiao Qiao blinked; it seemed Hello wasn't in her resent vocabulary. "Uh…" She stared tongue tied at Zhou Yu. "Heeeeelloooo…" She smiled back at him.

There was a long awkward silence… then the bell rang.

XOXOXOX

The home room teacher Pang Tong checked the attendance list and then said in his normal unemotional voice, "Anybody missing?"

Just then Zhang He and Sima Yi came marching into class.

"See we're not late! I told you it was a short cut."

Sima Yi looked as if he'd run ten miles. "We cut through a forest… there was a big moose and he didn't like acorns."

"But I though an Acorn was their food."

"And throwing acorns at the moose accomplished what."

"I was going to feed it."

Sima Yi sighed. "Here."

Pang tong checked of the two missing names on his list. "Congratulations you two… you're only twenty minutes late… that's a new record."

Zhang He smiled. "See Sima Yi… Were not late… were just… en retard."

"Stop tiring to confuse me with you nonsense."

"It's French."

"SAME THING!"

"IS NOT!"

The whole class stared in awe of Zhang He and Sima Yi's ability to argue over the stupidest most… illogical things anyone could ever thing of. The jocks stared at the boys at the front to the class willing them to argue until first block was over.

"BOYS THAT'S ENOUGH!" pang Tong yelled over there noise.

"SHUT UP! I'M NOT FINISHED." Zhang He screamed back at him.

First block would be over in less then ten minutes and they were still arguing.

The other students looked as if they were watching a tennis game their heads turning back and forth and back and forth and…

"DID NOT!"

"DID TOO!

"DID NOT!"

It had turned into an argument over who eat the last of the lucky charms. Pang tong sighed. "Boys… arg… THAT'S IT! CLASS IS OVER! LOCKER BREAK! NOW!"

Zhang he got all giddy and stopped arguing with Sima Yi. "Okie dokie!" With that he pranced out to his locked.

Pang Tong slouched behind his desk as the last student finally left.

XOXOXOX

Zhao Yu and Jiang Wei went to their lockers, like everyone else.

Zhao Yu immediately started complaining. "Why does he think I'm gay!"

Jiang Wei sighed. "Just drop it."

"I CAN'T! WHY AM I GAY?"

"You're not gay."

"I KNOW! TELL YOUR DAD!"

"He won't listen to me…"

Zhao sighed. "Fine…" He pouted and walked to their next class.

Jiang Wei followed him. "Hey are you going to…"

"SHUT UP SHUT UP!

Jiang Wei backed away slowly. "Riiiiight…"

XOXOXOX

Heh heh… Can't you just imagine Zhou Yu in one of those soccer uniforms! (Lmao) ()

A/N R&R if you want to see what happens at lunch! ()