Truly Alone
He should have died years ago. His mother is dead, his father left him, and his best friend stopped seeing him because of a girl. He was truly alone. (Yaoi) Lemon
"Blah"
'Thinking'
(' ") emphasized words ( " ')
(") Sarcastic words (")
(') In a thought (')
"Quotes"
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"You are only truly alone when no one even turns to look at you."
(First POV)
I don't know why I'm still living despite the fact that I feel dead within. Everything that I feel now is a collection of things that have happened in the last five years. Things that I thought back then would have never happened to me, nor would have anyone else. I was always so bright and full of life.
Now, I was so dark and cynical that you would have thought at this point in my life I would tried to commit suicide. Believe me, I've cut my arm up so many times and lost so much blood because of it I should have died.
I want to die. I have nothing left now. Mother is dead, and father left me to fend for myself. My best friend no longer talks to me because of a girl and, I've been alone for so long. Everyone avoids me because of the way I look and the aura I emit.
All I wish for now is for everything to return to the way it was. The way it was when my friend and I would sit on the paopu tree and laugh the days away. When my mother and father smiled at me and greeted me when I came home from a day at school, or when I woke up in the morning. Those days though, are all but dead.
Everything I thought would never change did on the day that my mother died. I had been told that she suffered as she died. Apparently she had been coming to get me from school so we could go shopping for my birthday presents and party supplies. We were going to throw a huge party because I was turning sixteen.
Now at twenty-one years old I wonder the grimy streets of a smoggy city. I look for ways to keep food in my stomach and a roof over my head. I failed at my chance to go to collage, so now I was just a high school graduate looking for a job with good pay; at least enough to get me through the week.
At the time it's raining heavily on the city. The rain hitting the floor jumped back up to attack a passerby's legs. Soaking the clothes, shoes, socks, and what ever else was low enough for the water droplets to cling to. The street was covered in cars waiting out a traffic jam. People on bikes sped by, not caring if they splashed someone on the sidewalk.
People in the alleys covered themselves with feeble boxes and old newspaper to shield their bodies from the torrents of oncoming rain. I looked at them sadly and took in the fact that I had at the very least a job and a warm place to go home to, but all the same I wanted to die. I wanted to feel the freedom that a bloody darkness would give me.
I turned from the alley I was looking down and walked into an old coffee shop. I looked around at the inside. The outside made it look run down and old but in truth it was the most expensive shop in the city.
"About time you got here Hikari! Get your ass in gear!" the shop owner named Drake yelled at me.
"Sorry," I muttered as I walked in back, "the power in the building went out so my alarm was dead."
"I don't want excuses! I want results!" Drake yelled at me as I slipped off my rain soaked coat.
"Going." I said grabbing the apron from the rack. I picked up a pen and an order book as I headed out to a group of men that had just entered the shop. "Welcome to D & D's Coffee Shop, may I take your order?"
A blonde haired man looked at me for a minute before looking to his other friends. He nudged the one next to him making him glare at the blonde. The man that was nudged had silver hair and sea green eyes. The blonde pointed at me before the silver haired man's eyes went wide.
"Sora?" he said loudly as his jaw dropped. "That's what the name tag says; now are you going to order some coffee, or do I have to come back later?" I asked placing my hands on my waist.
"Sora, it's me, Riku." The silver haired man said placing his hand on his chest.
"Riku?" I repeated and put on a face that made it look like I was trying to remember the name, but I knew who he was. The minute I saw the silver hair I knew that it was Riku. The friend who stopped seeing me because of a girl named Kairi.
"Stop fooling around you know who I am." Riku said as he smirked at me.
"Whatever." I said. "Listen I can't stand around and talk to friends I just got in; late nonetheless so my boss will chew my ass out if he finds me slacking and I'll get fired. So can I take your order or are you leaving?"
"Okay," Riku said looking at the little menu," give me a vanilla cappuccino without the foam."
"I'll just have a large coffee black." The blonde said. I recognized him as a boy I used to know. His name was Tidus.
"I'll take a banana smoothie." The orange haired man across from Riku said. If I remembered correctly, his name was Wakka.
"I'm fine thank you." The man across from Tidus said, I'd never seen him before but his presence reminded me of myself right now.
"Alright," I said jotting down the three orders and walked over the register and handed it to the girl that had started working here last week. Her name was Kaiie Akari, she kept to herself a lot, but that was okay. At least she wasn't like the last girl; she had been fired because the Drake found her sniffing drugs in the bathroom. Then he had the whole staff checked for any kind of drugs.
"You know those guys?" Kaiie asked me as she punched in the order and rung up the total. She then took the paper and placed it on the counter while the people behind the counter began to make the order.
"High school." I said plainly, as I leaned on the counter. "Can't say that they're friends of mine."
"Well the silver haired guy seems to think so." Kaiie said as she waited for the receipt to type itself out.
"He was a friend at one point." I said taking the receipt and signing it with my name.
"Was it a girl, or a stupid argument?" Kaiie asked leaning on the counter.
"A little of both." I said looking up. "Hey." I jabbed my head up toward the direction where the three orders sat. Kaiie turned and grabbed them she put them on a tray and slid it over to me; she didn't remove her hand though.
"I would give him another chance unless he's still with her." Kaiie said. She let go of it, and I took the tray.
"Maybe," I said then walked over to the table. "Here are your orders, and your total." I said.
"Hey Sora." Riku said. "You got paper on you?" he asked.
"Yeah." I said as I reached into my front pocket and pull out a slightly damp note taking book, "Here."
"This is my mine," he said jotting down some random numbers, "Do you have a phone number?"
"Yeah," I said as I took back my notebook and wrote my number down before giving it to him.
"Cool, I'll call you later." He said as he stood up with the other three. "It was good seeing you again."
"Hey." I said getting his attention before he left. "Are you still seeing Kairi?"
Riku looked sadly to the floor for a minute before looking up at me again. "No, she's dead. I'll give you more details next time I see you. When do you get off of work?"
"At midnight." I said, shocked that the red headed girl I knew was dead.
"I'll pick you up." Riku said. "We should really try and catch up on old times."
"Yeah, sure." I said as I turned back to get to work again.
It was about break time when Kaiie walked over to talk with me. "Hey Sora, I have a question for you."
"What is it?" I said looking up from my cup of coffee.
"Are you going to go and talk with the silver haired dude?" she asked me, black shoulder length hair falling in her face before she pushed it away, her emerald eyes becoming visible again.
"Yes," I said as I drained the last of my drink. "I haven't spoken with him in years, and the girl that had been the problem is dead now."
"Whoa." Kaiie said. "That's pretty weird."
"I know." I said. Something did feel weird when I looked at Riku. Almost like part of him expected me to be there. "How about I give you details on what happens when I get back?"
"If you want." She said. "Break's over. Let's get back to it. Takeshi what did I tell you about touching my register when I'm working?" she said angrily at the man at the register.
"Sorry missy prissy." He said quickly moving away.
"Hey Sora!" I heard Riku call as I stepped out of the shop a quarter after midnight. "Let's get out of this rain. Come on, we can go to my hotel."
"Hotel?" I asked as I looked around at the street that was littered with cars. The rain bounding off the roofs and to the floor created a spray.
"Yeah." He said. "I'm in town on a trip with the guys, but they all got drunk about an hour ago and are passed out in Wakka and Tidus' room."
"Alright." I said and we started toward the most expensive hotel in the city. "You must make pretty good money to afford this place." I stated as we walked in.
"Sure do," Riku said. "But that's not our topic of discussion, is it?"
"Suppose not." I said as I followed him over to the elevator. I watched as he pushed the button and then turned to look at me. The doors opened to an empty space; I had begun to walk slowly into it when Riku walked past quickly and pulled me in.
"Hey! What's the deal?" I asked as I was pushed into the wall.
"Shut up." He said as he crushed his lips into mine.
"Riku!" I said, shocked at his behavior, and began pushing him away. "What are you doing?"
"Sora I've been looking for you for two years." He said as he pushed me into the wall. I tried to fight him back but he was much stronger then I was. Go figure. "After Kairi died I knew I needed to find you. That I needed to touch you. That's why she didn't want you around me; because she knew I wanted you."
"Riku…" I said stunned at this new information. He buried his face in my neck and began to suck and nip at my skin leaving little red marks that I knew where going to be there for a few days. I let out a small moan as he moved his lips to suck on my ear lobe.
"Riku, we can't." I said.
He let out an annoyed growl as he slammed the button to the fifth floor and continued with what he was doing. When we reached the floor he grabbed my hand and pulled me to the door with the number three hundred forty-six on it in gold letters. He pushed it open and walked in. The blonde that was sitting across from Riku in the shop was sitting on his bed reading a book.
"Roxas!" Riku said as he tightened his grip on my hand. "Leave!"
"What for?" he asked looking up at us. He scanned my face for a minute then looked at Riku. "You're going to let little old me stop you?" he asked going back to looking at his book. "If you didn't happen to know, Wakka and Tidus' room is just as bad as here."
"Fine." He hissed and he pushed me onto the unoccupied bed.
"Ri…" I tried to say but he covered my mouth with his own taking advantage of my mouth being open and slipping his tongue in. I let out a moan as his cold hand slid up my shirt and began to play with my hardening nipples.
I hadn't wanted this. He had forced himself on me, and there was even someone else in the room. I knew this was a different Riku from the one I knew when we lived on Destiny Island. This Riku was demanding and didn't care who was around if he wanted something he was going to take it.
He broke away and slipped my shirt off over my head. Then went back to what he was doing before. As much as I mentally didn't want this, my body did, as a bulge in my pants was rubbed by Riku's leg that had slipped between my own.
"You seem to be liking this." Riku said with a smirked as he pushed his own growing need on mine. I let out another moan, the friction felt so good. "Tell me you want it, I know you do."
"Ri…Riku…." I said in a haze. "I…I…" I felt embarrassed to say it when his other friend was in the room. "I need you." I said partly moaning, partly whispering.
"Just lay still." He said as he began to place butterfly kisses down my neck to my chest. When he reached my nipple he began a rhythm of sucking and lightly biting it, while he rubbed my other in circles; then doing the same treatment to the other. He then came back to my lips and kissed me deeply while working at the button on my pants then fumbling with my zipper. After he had gotten my pants off he tossed them in a random direction and removed his shirt then threw them to the same place.
"Okay I get it!" the blonde that Riku had called Roxas said as he I heard him stand up.
"Horny prick." He said before the sound of a door shutting filled the room. I was brought back to what Riku was doing when his pants were removed his form, and my boxers where all but ripped from my hips.
"Riku!" I said, surprised as I felt his manhood rub on mine.
He hushed me as he kissed me lightly, before his hand slipped out of site and to my member, which he gripped tightly causing me to gasp. He began to pump me as his lips drowned out any sounds I might have been making. I was going to cum soon, as he began to pump harder and faster.
I gave out a scream of pleasure when I released into his hand. He smiled as he brought his hand up to show me.
"Very good Sora." He said licking a bit of it. "Sweet." He said he then rubbed it over three of his fingers and slipped his hand back below my belt line. "This'll be a little weird." He said as I felt one of his figures slip into me.
"Riku!" I said loudly as I jumped up a bit but he put a hand on my chest and pushed me back down. I squirmed a bit as another finger invaded me. He began to move them in and out as he slipped in a third finger. He then spread them while inside me stretching my insides. He then took them away and lifted my legs up. He kissed me tenderly as he pushed his hardness into me. If it wouldn't have been for the fact that he had been kissing me I would have screamed.
He pushed himself in fully and waited for me to get used to the feeling of him within me. After I began to relax a bit he pulled out slowly then pushed back in. It felt weird still to be doing this, but he began to move faster, and as he picked up the pace I became hard again. He grabbed a hold of my member again and timed his thrusts with the pumping. Soon loud moans filled the room, from both Riku, and me.
He suddenly hit something within me that sent tremors of pleasure throughout my body and caused me to moan loudly. He kissed me again as he hit that spot over and over again. I then came again for the second time that night, and after a few more thrusts Riku released within me, filling me up. He then pulled out and collapsed next to me.
"That wasn't so bad, now was it Sora?" he asked me as he finally evened out his breathing.
I nodded my head agreeing with him as I felt my eye lids dropping. He slowly pulled the blanket up and covered us both before he wrapped an arm around my waist and we both fell asleep.
It was the next morning when I woke up with Riku still hugging me. I looked at the clock on the table as the numbers read twelve thirty-six. I saw that Riku's friend had come back after we finished and was still sleeping. I felt something warm lick my ear and turned to look at a fully awake Riku.
"Morning love." He said, kissing my nose. He sat up and looked around at the room. "Looks like Roxas moved our clothes into one place when he came back."
I sat up to see what he meant and saw our clothes all piled on a chair. Riku stood up and grabbed my hand pulling me up with him. "We need a shower."
I didn't say anything as Riku pulled me into the bathroom with him. He turned on the water and was waiting for the right temperature to step in. I, on the other hand, was looking into the mirror at myself. My hair was much darker then it had been five years ago and my eyes had long since lost the brightness they had once held. I had bags under my eyes and I looked as if I could pass as a Goth. All I needed was the apparel. Though at the time, I was not wearing anything at all.
Riku walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders while he rested his head on my shoulder. "You look beautiful."
"I'm a lot darker then what I used to be." I said as I stared at myself.
"Your darkness, it makes you look even more beautiful than before." He said as he lightly pulled me into the shower.
I walked into the coffee shop at about six at night, for my shift. The rain had long since dried from the streets. I looked around at the empty shop as I made my way to the back.
"Hey Sora!" I heard Kaiie say as I pushed the door open, and was met with her and another person working at the shop named Cloud. Cloud was a tall man with blonde spiky hair and blue eyes, surprisingly bright blue eyes, he acted so cold but his eyes looked completely opposite of his outward persona. "So did you find out how the girl died?"
I looked at her for a minute before I felt my cheeks heating up. "No…" I said as I took off my coat and hung it up while taking my apron and putting it on. I grabbed my notebook from the little rack above the rack and looked around for my pen.
"Where's my pen?" I could tell that my pen was different then the others, mine had a little crown pendent hanging off of the end.
"Looking for this?" I heard Cloud say. As I looked at him he was twiddling my pen in his fingers. "If you want it, tell us how come you didn't find out what happened to the girl."
"Did you go blabbing to Strife?" I asked Kaiie as I placed my elbow on the table small table and looked at her.
"He was wondering where you were last night." Kaiie said, "Because normally you're here till two in the morning to chat a bit." She paused before looking at Cloud with a slightly evil look. "No matter how impersonal a person may be, they'll go insane if they don't talk with people. So there lies the fact that without you for Cloud to talk to he went talking to me, and compared to you two, I'm a social bug."
"Well…?" Cloud said rising an eyebrow.
I looked at him somewhat annoyed before I took a peek out in the shop which was still empty. "Okay I'll tell you two but you have to promise not to laugh or be shocked."
"Promise!" Kaiie said as she put her left hand up and the other over her heart.
"Swear it." Cloud said putting the pen down on the table, raising his hands up in front of him.
"Well," I dragged out thinking of the best way to put what I had done last night with Riku. "To put it bluntly, and straight forward…I….I slept with him."
"You slept with silver hair?" Kaiie almost shouted.
"Shh!" I said throwing my hands in her face. Cloud on the other hand was covering his mouth as he started to laugh.
"I don't know what you're laughing at Strife; you slept with a silver hair too." Kaiie said slapping his shoulder.
"That was three years ago!" Cloud defended pushing her aside.
"Hello?" someone called from the front.
"Shit!" Kaiie said loudly and pushed Cloud out of the way. I looked out the door after her and saw that Roxas was standing at the register.
"Hi, I'm looking for someone named Sora." He said. I walked out and over to Kaiie and the blonde man. "Sora…I have to talk with you."
"About what?" I asked as I raised an eyebrow.
"About Riku." He said. "Could you come to this place after you get out of work?" he handed me a piece of paper and turned to the door. "It's really important I talk with you, so please do come."
I looked at the folded paper a minute before I heard the bell sound and he left, blending into the street filled with people due to the time. I opened the folded note and looked at it.
Club Sakuya
1st Okami St.
Ask for Roxas Keinoki
I looked at the note a bit longer before shoving in my pocket. I looked at Kaiie who had read the note as well. "Should I go?"
"Go where?" Cloud asked as he joined us.
"Club Sakuya, after work." Kaiie answered for me.
"We all get out of work around the same time tonight, why don't we all go?" Cloud asked.
"He didn't say I had to go alone." I said as my hand in my pocket clenched the note. I wondered what Roxas had to say about Riku, and why he thought it was so important for me to know about it.
I hope it wasn't something I knew was going to happen.
Somehow what Riku had said before he pulled me into the shower, when he told me that…told me that I was more beautiful now because of the darkness I was in. So what he was saying that my pain was what he was attracted to.
I know that Roxas is going to say something to only cause me more pain. I might as well get ready for the worst, to keep myself from crying. No point in it really. I know that it's just going to end up making me more pessimistic.
"Life is to be lived and enjoyed." Said someone long ago.
Bullshit. Life is to be lived and lived. Weather it's happy or sad one can have no control over the outcome. It just turns out that way. I had to learn that the heard way.
And I was positive I was about to learn it all over again.
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Well how did you all like that? I know I slammed a lemon right in there, and I know a rape when I read one. Sora didn't really want that sex, so it wasn't exactly consensual. Anyway. I think that's going to be the only lemon in this thing, so don't worry about other lemons in this Fic unless you like that kind of thing. o.0;;. Anyway! A good idea to find out when I might be updating is to check in my general forum. Well see you all later!
Ja ne
Kaiyuku-Kun