O0o0O

I wish I could just die,
Or that I could fly,
So I could fly away,
My wings flapping,
The crowd clapping.
Because I'll be the hero,
No longer a zero.
Cause I won't kill them.
But I guess until then,
I'll just sit here and cry,
And I think that's fine.

Raine brushed her no longer new blonde hair very carefully that morning before going into the common room and looking around for Sirius. He wasn't there, so she supposed that he was already eating breakfast in the Great Hall.

She dragged herself to the Great Hall, not really wanting to go the Quidditch game with Sirius. She wished she could've just said no, because the three weeks had passed by so quickly, and the closer it had gotten to this day, the more she dreaded the date.

She had tried to ask herself why she didn't like Sirius that much, but nothing came to mind. Did she really need a reason?

Yes, she did. Maybe it was because he dated so many girls, and most of the rumors around school spread about people who were always dating somebody different. Maybe it was because she feared what Voldemort would say. It wouldn't be good if he got mad.

But she would explain to him that it was for the mission, and the mission only, that if she had not been a Death Eater, she would've declined.

Sirius was sitting next to James. They were both messily stuffing their faces with breakfast, like pigs. Raine chuckled quietly as she walked over to the boys and sat down next to Sirius.

Sirius immediately put his arm around her waist. "Good morning, Raine."

"Good morning, Sirius." She put on the best smile she could.

Raine could see Sirius staring at her hair. Staring and staring as his grin got wider and wider. "What?"

"Your hair's too neat." He grinned from ear to ear as he messed up her hair.

"I hate you." She said before kissing him lightly, then starting to eat her breakfast.

Maybe if they sat near Peter and Remus and Lily, it would be less like a date, and maybe Sirius would be too absorbed in the game to even treat her like his date… Raine tried her best to act like she really did want to be going to the game with Sirius, like she really did want to be more than a friend.

As she stared into the yellow scrambled eggs on her plate, she began to realize how much she had changed just for the point of the stupid assignment. She had changed her name, her hair color, and the people she spent time with. It was like Lorraine DeAmico was dead, like Raine was there instead of her. She might as well just not do the mission and let Voldemort kill her; She was already dead, so it wouldn't matter. Dead… All her life she had been scared of dying, and now she was dead already and it took her a while to realize it.

She couldn't stand it. She really couldn't. It wasn't just the thought of her personality being dead already, and it wasn't just the thought of having to kill her friends. It was Lorraine battling with Raine inside her head, neither of them bothering to control the body anymore. They were too preoccupied with their battle to keep Lorraine's body sitting up, to keep her head up, to keep her eyes open and everything else like that.

"No." She said in a quiet voice before falling down onto Sirius as if she had suddenly lost control of her body. But she was still conscience. She was awake… But she wasn't in her mind.

"You okay Lorraine?" Sirius asked, looking down at the girl lying on his lap with her eyes closed. She didn't seem to be breathing.

The only thing that gave her the ability to answer was the fact that Raine didn't want Sirius to think she had a problem. "Yeah…. Just… tired."

"You sure?"

"Yeah…" She sat up and smiled widely to show it. The battle was over. Raine had won.

O0o0O

Sirius and Raine walked down to the Quidditch pitch, hand-in-hand. James had left fifteen minutes before them. Remus and Peter were waiting there with them, and neither of them had any idea if Lily was even going to watch the game.

Always on the verge of tears,
What happened to those years?
The years where I was glad,
Glad just to not be sad.
Glad to be alive.
Well, I guess I should be crying,
Because I've already gone through dying,
And I still have to kill,
Cause maybe I'm ill,
Sick in the head, I mean,
Not physically sick; I'm not green.
So will you let me go?
Let me fly away,
So I can show,
Show my true self.

Lily was sitting in front of them, between Remus and Peter. As the game started, it was just like she was sitting next to a complete stranger, until James almost fell off of his broom and was hanging by one hand. Raine heard Lily gasp loudly and put one hand on top of Remus's and one hand on top of Peter's, and then slowly putting her hands back on her lap as James got back onto his broom.

Raine leaned forward and whispered to Lily. "You were so scared."

"Yeah…." Lily said quietly, smiling slightly.

"You really love a lot him, don't you?"

"Is it really that obvious?"

"Yes, it is." Raine leaned back onto her seat and Lily turned back to face the game.

Sirius smiled at Raine. "I like your blonde hair a lot more than I liked your black hair."

"It's just hair Sirius. Blonde is no different than black. It's just…. Much lighter."

"Yeah, but…"

"I hate your hair. It looks so damn good, even when it's messed up, or muddy. It's probably because of your face…. My mom used to say that beautiful girls look good in everything. I guess it applies to guys too." She said in a not-flirting way.

So far the only things that really made it a date was that they were sitting next to each other and that they called it a date. Raine was pretty happy about that at the moment, but if she was ever going to kill him, then she had to be as close as possible, but going out would make breaking up a possibility and him being her ex-boyfriend was even worse than him being just a friend.

Obviously, Sirius seemed to be noticing that it wasn't much like a date as well, so he turned around to look at her, and then kissed her lips. Raine, having been in lost in her thoughts, and the game, was surprised and jumped slightly. Since she was on the tip of the seat, though, the slight jump made her fall off of her seat.

Sirius laughed. "Sorry 'bout that." He held his hand out to help her up.

Raine grabbed his hand, but didn't stand up. Instead, she pulled him down and kissed his lips lightly, before sitting up and starting to get back up onto the seat.

Sirius, who was still holding her hand, pulled her back down so he could kiss her back.

There was a lot of cheering, so the two supposed that Gryffindor scored a goal. Lily turned around and started to comment, but saw the two on the floor and grinned. "Oh, sorry. I'll leave you two alone. I don't want to disturb."

"But we weren't kissing!" Raine protested. "I fell!"

"Yeah, sure." Lily said sarcastically.

Raine sat back up onto her seat. "I fell! And since I was holding his hand, he did too!" She was lying about things that didn't even matter now. How horrible of her to be a liar…

I've become a liar and soon I will be a murderer. Tonight I have to go break into an innocent person's house to get a knife and a gun and a pair of gloves, and other things so people don't get suspicious. How horrible of me?

O0o0O

Horrible chapter, I know. Meh. Thanks for reading it though, and if you're up to it, review.