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AN - AHHH! This chapter looks diffrent! I used one of those apple lap tops to write it and all the programs are diffrent then on machintosh CPU's... ANYWAYS! My internet's down and I think I'm getting a new monitor soon so don't expect too much from me Okei Dokei? Right... ON WITH THE STORY!

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TRAUMATIZED

CHAPTER TWELVE

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"Sima Yi, you bastard!"

SLAP SLAP!

Sima Yi dropped the shirt he'd been ironing and sobbed, "What was that for?"

"You've been disrespecting Zhang He's personal space!"

"What are you..."

SLAP SLAP!

Zhen Ji paced back and forth in front of the sobbing boy. "This must be dealed with strictly."

"Zhang He used to foce me to do his laundry!"

"SILENCE!"

SLAP SLAP! (A/N - Tell me if it's getting repetitive XP)

Zhen Ji was suddenly dressed in an american millitary uniform. "Now that you and Zhang He are lovers you need to learn respect!" A giant flag wall suddenly dropped down out of no where. "I am here to teach you respect."

Sima Yi's eyes widdened. "Zhang He..."

SLAP SLAP!

"He's not here... Hewent to the grocery story and left me incharge."

Sima Yi froze, The arorura of evilness is actually visible.

"Now then... How shall our lessons begin? Hmm? I think I'll teach you how to respect you wife's belongings."

"Wife...?"

SLAP SLAP!

"I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!"

I can definatly see it now... It's a big purple black pulsating blob!

Sima Yi whimpered. "Am I intitled to a phone call or something?"

Zhen Ji slaped him with her army stick thing. "You're going through respect training You havn't been thrown in jail!"

Sima Yi bit his lip. "Alright..." Zhang He come home soon!

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"I thought you said that cutie Liu Bei was comeing."

Gan Ning looked arond the outside of the theater for the third time. "He's comin'!"

Lu Xun hugged Sun Shang's arm. "Yeah he'sjust not here yet."

Sun Shang sighed. "Oh alright I'll wait."

Gan Ning 'wink-wink-nugge-nugged'. "Hey... What are you two going to do during the movie, ey?"

Sun Shang gave him a confused look. "Um... We're going to watch the movie I guess."

Gan Ning sighed. "No... Like during the movie."

Sun Shang scoffed. "Certainly not what you two are going to be doing during the movie!"

Lu Xun looked confused. "What are we going to be doing during the movie?"

Gan Ning coughed. "Notin'"

"What? Notin? What the hell kind of a word is that?"

"I dunno."

"You 'dunno'?"

"Yeah... I dunno..."

"SAY I DON'T KNOW LIKE THE REST OF THE WORLD!"

"Yeah whatever."

Lu xun was pissed. "Yes... not 'yeah'... Don't knock the language."

Gan Ning sighed audibly. "Yes mother."

Sun Shang had this stary eyed look through out the whole argument that just screamed; 'Oh-my-god-you're-so-damn-cute'. She started gigling. "You two argue like a married couple."

"How would you know?"

Sun Shang shrugged. "Where's Liu Bei?" She asked, perposely changing subject.

Lu Xun pointed. "I think that's him over there!"

Gan Ning squinted, looking off into the distance. "Ehh... How can you tell?"

"Who else always wears a floresscent green outfit?"

Gan Ning nodded. "Good point. Is that his favorite color or something?"

Sun Shang glared. "That's like asking you; 'is that your fovorite vest or something'."

Gan Ning put a hand on his vest protectivly. "She didn't mean it babe."

Lu Xun sighed. "Well it's him! Let's go get him."

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"Um... Zhen Ji what have you been doing?"

Zhen Ji turned away from her 'victime'. "Oh hey Zhang He! Me and Sima Yi here were ust having a disscussion about learning respect."

"Oh that's nice."

"DON'T LISTEN TO HER! SHE A MAD WOMAN! MAD I SAY MAD!"

SLAP SLAP!

"Ugn..."

"Don't listen to him..."

Zhang He blinked rapidly. "Right... I'll just get going to the kitchen to put the groceries away then shall I?"

"DON'T LEAVE ME!"

Sima Yi crawled over and practiclly groped his leg.

"Awe Sima's like a cute littly bunny rab..."

"DID HE GIVE YOU PREMISSIONG TO TOUCH HIM!"

SLAP SLAP!

"Save... me..."

"Don't worry Zhang He I've got everything under controle in here!"

Zheng He beamed. "Oh alright!" He skipped off to the kitchen.

Fire gling in her eye... FIREY GILNT! OH GOD!

"Mwa... Mwaha... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

"Meep..."

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TBC in chapter 13

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A/N - I wonder what happened to Zhou yu and Jiang Wei... Whatever... anyway... I'm thinking of writing another Yaoi lemon on-shot fic to tie into this story a bit, Sun Ce/Zhou Yu. What do a think? Good Idea? Gad idea? R&R