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AN – So! Continuing… I still have no idea what's happening! YAY! I think I'm going to write like thirty chapters then leave you with a cliff hanger… heh… not… So Jiang Wei and Zhao Yun have been brought back into this story by popular demand… yeah that's right! All my life guards in Speedos said they had to come back… heh… anyway…Never mind all the repeated stuff about Jet Li. I do think Jet Li's hottest in the least… cept' maybe in Cradle to the Grave… then he was kinda cute in hero… NO… hehe… enjoy…
Disclaimer – Don't Own, Don't ask, Don't sue, Don't Tell Koei (-wink-)
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TRAUMATIZED
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
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Liu Bei looked around for what seemed like the two-hundred-sixty-eighth time during that particular scene of violence. Gan Ning and Lu Xun had left the theater for 'a second' twenty minutes ago to go to the bathroom and hadn't come back. Liu Bei wondered if they planned on spending to entire night in there, knowing them that was their plan all along.
He tried to continue watching the movie but found himself staring directly into Sun Shang's cleavage every five minutes. Damn V-neck shirts that are becoming so popular! Sun Shang didn't seem to notice. She just smiled occasionally.
Liu Bei twitched. He was starting to do that a lot lately. Twitch, twitch and twitch. He wished he could stop. But once be stopped twitching his right leg started jiggling. He swore to kill Gan Ning when he got back.
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Back when the movie had just started Jiang Wei suddenly had this urge to drink his entire pop like a dehydrated man in the desert. He always got like that watching karate movies. There's always something about the main character that he just couldn't… it seemed like the main character in all the movies he'd watched made him fell dehydrated. In that Cradle to the Grave movie and that Hero movie… and Once upon a time in China… It was very odd.
"HE DOES NOT MAKE ME HORNY!"
Jiang Wei blushed. Oh my God was I thinking out loud? No it was some other boy in the theater. Very odd…
Zhao Yun sniggered. "Heh… Poor little kid. He sounds oddly familiar though."
Jiang Wei forced himself to stop blushing. "Yes, I feel like I hear his voice every day."
Zhao Yun Nodded. It was then Jiang Wei noticed something. If Zhao Yun just had a hair cut… He'd look exactly like Jet Li. OH GOD NO I DID NOT JUST THINK THAT!
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They'd invited Ma Chao over… well he hadn't… I was all Zhang He's idea. Sima Yi sighed. This was all because of that damn phone call… stupid Tommy Airline album with it's… stupid 80's hit songs. Sima Yu sighed again. There he was on the couch… an arm rest on one side and Zhang He on the other. And there Zhang He was Ma Chao on one side and Sima Yi on the other. And there Ma Chao was, smiling and looking all too pleased with himself, of course he had and armrest on one side and Zhang He on the other too… stupid basterd.
"SO!" Zhang He started with an all to knowing smirk on his adorable little face. He pointed to Ma Chao. "You like me," He pointed to Sima Yi, "And you like me…"
Ma Chao beamed. "Your friend's pretty cute too." He gestured to Sima Yi
Sima Yi only sneered. "Get on with it, Zhang He."
"So all in all this means..." Zhang He pulled out a little electronic hand held planner. "We'll just have to set up sex days."
Ma Chao shrugged. "Cool."
Sima Yi twitched. "NO! NOT 'COOL'!"
Zhang He started opening little programs. "Oh come on Sima Yi."
"NO!"
"You can share."
"NO I CAN'T!"
Zhang He pouted. "Pweese…"
"I… I… Damn it… I get Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday."
Zhang He made note of that. "Then Ma Chao gets Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday."
Ma Chao nodded. "Sounds good to me."
Zhang He giggled. "And since today's Wednesday where would you like to go for dinner?"
Sima Yi rubbed his temples to try and persuade his headache to go away. "I'm going on a walk.
Zhang He beamed up at him as he stood. "Alright just be home before tomorrow! You have an appointment!"
Sima Yi resisted the urge to sneer. "Wouldn't miss it for the world…" With that said he stormed out of the house.
Ma Chao blinked. "What's his problem?" (-AN –Fing dumbass-)
Zhang He pouted. "He's acting very strange."
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Sun Shang was practically jumping up and down by the end of the movie. "WOW! THAT WAS A GREAT MOVIE! I LOVED THE BEGINNING WHERE HE RIPPED THAT GUYS HAIR OUT AND… WOW!"
Liu Bei twitched yet again. "You've been holding that in for a while, havn't you?"
"YEAH! I MEAN LIKE… WOW! Where'd Gan Ning and Lu Xun go?"
Liu Bei shrugged. "Probably still in the bathroom."
"Why would they…" She was sut off mid-sentence by loud yelling.
"IT'S A PUBLIC FACITLITY! I DON'T CARE HOW HORNY YOU ARE! IF YOU'RE GOING TO RAPE CUTE UNDERAGED LITTLE GIRLS DO IT AT YOUR OWN HOUSE!"
"I'M NOT A GIRL!"
"Of course you aren't… NOW GET OUT BOTH OF YOU!"
Gan Ning and Lu Xun came walking up to them looking very much like two people look after they've had sex a few times. Lu Xun pouted. "That ugly old man thinks I'm a girl."
Gan Ning sighed. "I told you not to wear that shirt."
"What's wrong with it?"
"Nothing… it's… it's just kind of… pink."
Lu Xun 'hmph'ed. "I like this shirt."
Gan Ning shrugged. "Hey let's head home guys."
Liu Bei glared at them. "Where were you."
"Gan Ning I told you not to go out and so something like 'that' until you got home." Sun Shang scolded.
Gan Ning rolled his eyes at her. "Sorry, mother."
Lu Xun brushed his fingers through his messy hair. "It's cold out here let's get going."
They all sighed. "Fine by me."
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CU in chapter 15
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A/N – Looks like Zhang He didn't get around to having girl talk with Zhen Ji (-sniggers-) Join me next time for more traumatizing action!
Zhang He's – Things to do in the next chapter
- Finally have girl talk with Zhen Ji
- Apologize to Sima Yi
- Learn how to make cheese toasties
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