Chapter Five: Cry

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.

Raven slept soundly thinking of him. In her dreams, she was wild and free. There was no Starfire to worry about, or angry friends, there was nothing at all. In her dreams, the days were filled with devotion and intellect, the night with wine and sex. In her dreams, Robin was hers.

Raven tossed and turned in her bed, tugging her covers tighter and tighter around her body to make herself warm. She echoed back to the night before, when he had held her, and she had slept with her tiny hands on his hot, hot back and her cold toes warmed between his hot thighs.

Raven wanted to hold him and never release him, because he didn't belong with Starfire! He belonged with her, in her arms. But Raven couldn't bring herself to even consider tearing them apart. Her best friends! How could she ruin how happy they were? The sorceress turned over, and faced the ceiling.

"Oh Azar, please help me," she said, looking about as miserable as she felt. Raven sighed, and curled into a ball. Maybe she couldn't tear them apart herself. . .

. . . but nothing was going to stop her from hoping Robin broke up with Starfire.

Robin woke up for a shower at six in the morning, but stopped himself and decided this was a good time for a workout. The confusion and anguish he was feeling was a good fuel for working out.

He went into the gym, and warmed himself up with a jog. After that, he moved on to some weight lifting. After forty-five minutes sweat was coursing down his body, and he was forced to pull of his t-shirt.

Naturally, at the same time Raven entered the gym. Her face turned bright red as she caught sight of Robin, but she forced herself to ignore him and go in. The mage had planned on using one of the treadmills, but tripped on her way there. She cried out.

"Are you alright?" Robin asked, running over to her. Raven groaned and stirred slightly.

"My ankle," she said, reaching for her left ankle. Robin took it, and looked it over. He moved it slightly, and she cried out again.

"I think you twisted it," Robin told her. "I'm going to go get some ice for that, you just sit here a moment, ok?" he instructed her.

"Right, because I had plans of running away fast as I could up until now," Raven said, rolling her eyes. Okay, she could heal it herself, but where was the fun it that?

"You know, now I'm inclined to just let you sit here and suffer until someone else comes in," Robin said, looking at her and raising an eyebrow. Raven rolled her eyes again.

"You would not," she said confidently.

"And why wouldn't I?" Robin said, meeting her confident air.

"Because you love me," Raven said, the words leaving her mouth before she could think about them. Silence reigned supreme. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," Raven said, turning away from him. Robin spoke.

"No, you have every right to say that," Robin said with a sigh. "Raven, I think I'm making a mistake marrying Starfire. I think I'm in love with you."

Raven's eyes widened and she opened her mouth to say something, but quickly shut it. What was wrong with her? Hadn't this been exactly what she wanted? No, this isn't what I want. He doesn't know what he's saying; this isn't right.

"Robin, you don't know what you're saying," she said slowly and softly, voicing the thoughts in her head. She put her hand over his. "You went out with Starfire for two years before you proposed to her. And this last month you've been the happiest I've ever seen you. Now, like three days ago, you became immensely interested in me. I'm not trying to say that I'm not flattered, but this can't go on. I think you're just nervous, because this is sealing the deal. It means you can't think about other women anymore or anything. And I can understand that. But don't throw this work away out of fear. This isn't right. And you know it." Robin was silent for a minute.

"Is that really how you feel?" Robin asked, leaning over her. His face was practically touching hers, and Raven forced herself to look away.

"Robin . . . don't do this to me." Raven pleaded with him. He leaned over her and kissed her, and again she was lost in his kiss. Almost against her will, Raven found herself lying back, and now he was over her, their laced fingers supporting him and his knee between hers. Their right hands broke apart, and her hand trailed over his chest, and then down to his stomach, tracing the lines of muscle. He moaned into her mouth.

"Raven. . ." he hissed, looking at her as he broke they kiss. She touched his face, and he leaned into her refreshing touch. So much better than Starfire, with the heat of her star bolts seeping through her skin.

Suddenly the mage shot up, and Robin had to back up quickly to avoid getting hurt. Raven looked at him with a pained expression on her face, and then placed her hands on his shoulders. The girl shook him hard.

"We. Can't. Do. This." Raven said, shaking him harder with every word she said. "Do you understand now?" she asked in an exasperated tone.

"Raven. . ." he reached for her and she slapped him across the face. His temper sparked. "Did you ever think I might be telling the truth?" he questioned sharply. Her eyes narrowed.

"If you walk out on Starfire, you're making the biggest mistake of your life. I have no idea what's wrong with you, but this can't continue. She loves you, and I think that if you put some more thought into this you would remember that you loved her too," Raven added. Robin sighed. He ran a hand through his spiked black hair.

"Could you look me in the eye and say that you don't have feelings for me and that you really believe I belong with Starfire?" he asked, staring at her. Raven met his eye with an even stare.

"I don't have feelings for you beyond friendship and I think that you belong with Starfire," she stated evenly. He took once last look at her.

"Okay, just friendship from here forth," he said. Robin reached out a hand, but Raven refused it. Her hands glowed over her ankle, and she got up fine on her own.

"Healing powers, remember?" she said to him. Robin nodded. She walked out of the gym, and he grabbed his shirt and followed her. His eyes traced her going into her bedroom, and Robin retreated to his own room. When he arrived, Starfire pinned him to the wall and put her seething hands over his chest. She kissed him hard, bruising his lips almost.

The alien kissed him all over his face, and then ran her lips over his neck and chest. He ran his fingers through her hair, the whole while thinking of Raven. Beautiful Raven. Who had just left him. Starfire's warm fingers swirled over his back, counting every vertebrate.

"I love you," she whispered in his ear before tracing a saliva trail to his swollen lips. Her tongue entered his mouth, and he engaged in a long known dance, familiar to both him and Starfire.

At last, oh thank god at last, he was able to pull himself away from the eager princess. Robin stepped into a cold shower, and thought of Raven. He imagined her cool hands on his body again, reliving the moment. The water fell agents him like gun shots.

"What in Azar's name was I thinking?" Raven shouted once she was in the safety of her room. "He's engaged. I'm best friends with his fiancé. What in Azarath's name is wrong with me?" Raven questioned the books and other various objects in her bedroom.

They had no reply for her.

Raven threw herself on her bed, and began to cry. Why had she refused him? Why couldn't she be a normal person and appreciate a good relationship? He had told her he loved her. Didn't normal people confess hidden feelings when things like that came up?
Her shoulders shook and black magic filled the air as she sobbed quietly, thinking about her loss. She stumbled into her bathroom, and yanked at the handles until her shower turned on. She turned the heat up so that it was abnormally high, and thought of Robin's hands as it ran down her naked body.

Terra laid back on the couch, relaxing and eating a donut. Her headphones blared with Green Day music, and she bopped her head along with the rhythm. Sometimes the best things in life were good music, bad food and trashy novels that you would only let you best friends or complete strangers see you reading. And as Terra had all three, she felt it was shaping up to be a very good day in Jump City.

Starfire and Robin walked into the main room, and Terra had to smile when she saw them. They were so adorable together! Robin and Starfire seemed to have always been cut out for each other. And now that they were getting married (only eight weeks left!), which meant there would soon be lots of mini Starfires and Robins running around everywhere.

Aw. How cute!

Robin helped himself to strong coffee. Starfire drank some juice, all the while babbling about the wedding.

Does she ever SHUT UP? Robin wondered as he stared at her. He rubbed his eyes, and added more grinds to his coffee. He had the distinct feeling that he was seriously going to need it.

Starfire couldn't help talking and talking and talking when it came to her wedding. She was so excited! She was going to get married to Robin, who she loved. Her husband-to-be! Starfire never got tired of hearing or saying these words. Having him close was wonderful. She loved touching him, seeing him, hearing his voice, smelling him, the taste of his mouth. Everything about him was absolutely perfect in Starfire's eyes.

She propped her head up with one hand, and stared at him as though his face held the cure for AIDS. He was such a glorious, magnificent creature! Every inch perfectly planned and done. She loved him with a vigorous passion that would never die so long as she lived.

Raven entered the room, and began to prepare herself some tea. Terra noticed what Starfire didn't; they were careful not to touch each other. Terra thought it was kind of odd, but didn't voice her opinion. If they wanted to be weird, let them be. It wasn't affecting her life.

Beast Boy bounded in and threw himself over Terra. She laughed, and he kissed her hard. Starfire giggled, and Raven rolled her eyes. Terra ran her fingers through Beast Boy's hair, and grinned happily.

"It's washed! How nice," she said, grinning at him brightly. Beast Boy laughed and kissed her nose. She smiled at him with such love and devotion it was almost sickening. Except Starfire smiled, Robin had looked the other way and Raven wasn't paying attention to them, because she never did.

When Cyborg came out, he walked over to the kitchen happily. Waffles and bacon and eggs for breakfast! That was today's special! His large metal body shoved Raven's tiny Audrey Hepburn frame out of the way easily.

"Nice going," Raven said, glaring at him. He shrugged as he surfaced from the refrigerator. Raven sighed and attended to making her tea. At least no one got on her about that.

She quickly finished preparing the drink, and sat down at the kitchen table. She began to scan the headlines, checking for any news that would involve the Teen Titans in some way, shape or form. So far nothing was coming up. Raven threw it down in disgust. Just when she wanted to battle evil and get out of the tower, all the villains got together and decided to lie low!

Typical.

Raven looked out the windows, watching the clouds float by. The day stretched ahead of her, long and wearisome. She wished it was night, because she honestly just wanted this day to be over. She didn't want to deal with seeing Robin, and wanting Robin and aching for Robin. She sighed. She had to be strong. She was doing the right thing, for Robin's sake as much as hers. For Starfire's sake, because she was not going to let down her best friend. This was for the best. Really.

Of course we believe you.

Robin looked over at Raven with longing. Who was right? Was he really meant to be with Starfire, and it was just some hormones or was it something more? Was he truly in love with Raven, or was this just he version of sex with the stripper the night before the wedding? He looked at her. And she looked at him. And when she met his eye, he turned away. He remembered what she said;

I don't have feelings for you beyond friendship and I think that you belong with Starfire

Robin smiled at Starfire. She grinned back at him. In eight weeks he was going to get married to Starfire. He walked over and kissed her. It was probably just pre-wedding nerves that were getting at him. He was going to marry Starfire. He longed for Raven. . .Robin swallowed and hoped it would pass with time. He did not see Raven pulled her hood up.

I miss you. . .

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