The Latin pilot looked up from where he was stretched languorously on their worn but well loved couch, one visible viridian eye blinking at the figure in the doorway. In his lap, a magazine (likely a music one, Duo thought, one of those stuffy ones packed with classical sheets of notes) lay forgotten now, a long finger paused somewhere on a page of script.
Looking at Trowa from his vantage point, Duo could step outside himself and see where one might find him attractive, as he could often do with any of his team though none of them truly drew him; not since he'd figured out what he felt for a certain blonde. Trowa had that often looked for but rarely found tall, dark and handsome thing going for him, while still avoiding being a muscle headed jock. He had the appeal of an athlete, the mind of a scholar, and the looks of someone who could have just started modeling. He was built, with hard muscles under a layer of tan silky skin, but not outrageously so. More like a large sleek cat, and wouldn't Trowa have just loved that comparison?
Duo thought he would of.
That topped off with a pair of what had to be the greenest eyes on the face of the earth, his mysterious silence, and the boy's general shadow-like way of moving, and it was clear why heads turned when Trowa stepped out the door. It was a fact that Duo found irritating now, and further motivated him to step into the room and engage with the waiting male.
Trowa was a seduction waiting to happen, and he wanted himself and Quatre as far away as possible when the bomb that was the brunette's sex appeal finally fell.
He walked -- slinked -- over to the couch and started to drop down onto the end opposite of Trowa's head, causing the other male to jerk his legs back or risk them being squashed under Duo's bony butt. Trowa was still regarding him in silence, his mood half expectant with suspicion (he stilled recalled the earlier looks he'd gotten) laying just under that.
"Quatre and I have been talking."
No surprise there. When aren't you talking to him? When you're hanging on him, I suppose. Despite his admittedly bitter thoughts towards the American, Trowa's lips stayed closed and his expression neutral. It really wasn't Duo fault he felt this way, was it? And it was unfair to vocalize such things even if he couldn't help himself from thinking them. Quatre and he… Well, their relationship had remained that protective brotherly one. He'd had chances before Heero and the blonde had hooked up, and again after their stoic friend had paused on. Both times, he'd closed that emotion up within himself, and probably for the best. Duo didn't deserve his distaste now for having the nerve to do something he hadn't. He also didn't deserve it for enjoying the relationship and being protective now, since perhaps he'd be the same way if they switched positions.
But he knew he wouldn't act so hostile towards all of the blonde's friend, and his own teammates, and that's where the uncomfortable indecision about his thoughts on Duo lay. It was just easier to stay mute.
Duo took this as a 'please, go ahead', like he usually did. One kind of had to come to their own assumptions when dealing with Trowa.
"It seems he's been playing around with the idea of moving out on his own for a little while now." He started casually, stretching his long arms up over his head before crossing them at the base of his neck.
"Getting a new place for himself, you know, and has been kind of nervous bringing it up because he thought you or Wufei would be upset." Duo laughed, only to then reach up and run a hand through his messy bangs, then lay his hands back down in his lap; the constant motion the American had to maintain almost constantly that really made Trowa feel the differences between them. "Or me, but I guess it started before he and I were a thing. Now he's thinking about a place for us…"
"The thing with Wufei reminded him or something, because he just brought it up to me a bit ago in the kitchen, after you walked out. Seemed kind of excited about it, even if he's a little upset about 'Fei going. Mother hen, and all."
Give me my Grammy now, I'd like to thank all the little people. Duo chuckled inwardly, while on the outside, he managed to paste a look of nervous good humor on his face. "I… I'm not so sure, seems like a pretty leap in the relationship, but I think it could work. He's just a little iffy on taking the next step because of you. 'Fraid you'll be mad or depressed or whatever."
Trowa's eye widened, shock clear for a minute in the green depths. Never mind the rest of Duo's talk, his mind immediately sorted through and fixed on the important bit of information he'd been given. "Quatre wants to move out?"
"Yeah." Duo nodded, still smiling, almost gentle and confused now, and within he was congratulating himself. Trowa had his buttons too, and once you knew how to push them… There was little that couldn't be accomplished. "… Kinda cute really, how he puts his own plans on hold for your well being."
In for the kill, Maxwell my man. "I told him I don't mind waiting until you figure out your direction in life finally, and he said it's okay -- that he's not in a rush… But he looked kinda, I don't know, sad, I guess."
The shock rippled in forest pools like a heavy rock had been dropped into a small pond, and Duo watched it's troubling effects widen and spread with a well hidden glee. It was like watching a ship sink.
"He lets each of us come and go as we please, and keeps his mouth shut even when it really upsets him, but when he wants to go…" The American shrugged, "It's like he's got invisible chains and we're keeping him prisoner, huh?"
Trowa barely heard this, but he nodded, numb and slow. I'm slowing him down. Quatre's… Happy now. He's better, and I thought I was here to make sure he was all right, to protect him, but I'm… Hampering him. I can be his friend from anywhere, but here I am keeping him from a new dream and a new life. I've been doing that for… How long? How long has he kept on smiling? How long before he would have grown resentful for me not letting him move on? Has it already started?
The taller boy rose from the couch, jerkily and without his usual grace, and Duo just stared curiously up at him. "I… Ah, I think I'm going to go upstairs. Thanks, Duo, for telling me."
"Yeah, no prob, Trowa. Take it easy, all right?"
"Okay."
And then he was moving away, crossing the room and moving up the staircase lethargically. Duo stayed behind, and after a moment, picked up the magazine that the other boy had been reading. He looked down at it's pages of music notes and new silver instruments with an expression of boredom, then rolled his eyes and tossed it to the side to reach for the remote. Maybe MTV was on…
xXx
Things, as they should have been expected to and often do, moved quickly from that moment onward. It was only a matter of days before Duo had the self-brought pleasure of sitting back in the kitchen and watching the scene as Trowa came in one day to tell Quatre of a quaint little place he'd found in the city, and of his desire to apply at a small petshop near there. It was miles from the circus, or a zoo, but as he told Quatre, it was a start and perhaps the small business animosity he needed right now.
He was ready, he said in a confident tone that made Duo's lips quirk upwards in the hint of a smile, to start putting his life into some kind of order.
Part of that order was of course making himself move again, get motivated for action, and the best way he could do that, or so he told Quatre, was to sweep the supports out from beneath his feet. It was too easy to be comfortable here with them, and too easy for him just to settle in and forget he still had something waiting for him in the form of a future. So he was going.
Of course he wanted to keep in touch, and let the blonde know just that. It wasn't an end to their friendship, but rather a new development he hoped would make them even closer in the end.
Trowa showed Quatre the little ad for the apartment he wanted, then a flyer for the petshop, and Duo watched from the table as the shaken Arabian nodded and tried to put on a strong face. It was lucky for him that Trowa didn't truly delve into the miserable surprise that appeared in Quatre's eyes, and only dismissed what he did see as a delayed reaction to the freedom finally brought on by his decision.
After Trowa had walked out -- strode quickly from the kitchen really to make sure that his resolve and growing trepidation wouldn't make him turn around and try to back out. He was comfortable here, and had thought he was doing so well after all. That they all were, with one another -- Duo had stretched and rose from his chair to kindly gather the trembling form of Quatre into his arms.
xXx
"Duooo!" The snuffling wail into his shoulder brought a true wince to the braided boy, a pang of regret not for the situation, but for the depths of reaction it spurred in his little mate. His hand rose of it's own accord to stroke the back of the fluffy golden head. "He's leaving! Now Trowa's going, too!"
"Shh, hey. Calm down, it's okay." He dusted light kisses over what he could of the damp forehead and scrunched together eyebrows. "Quatre, baby, it's all right. He's not going far."
"I don't care if he's only going next door! Don't you get it? Everyone's leaving, we're falling apart! Next we won't see each other for holidays, then the phone calls will stop, and then we'll open the paper one day, and find out one of us died and not even be able to remember more than the name!" Duo listened to the air whistling in and out of Quatre with alarm tickling at the edges of his senses. The boy was truly worked up here, his little hands fisting in the black material of his shirt and the wetness seeping through to first heat, then chill his chest as the air from that trembling mouth cooled it.
"No, Quatre. Come on, look at me." Gently, he placed his hand under the young man's chin and lifted it up, meeting eyes that swam with tears before leaning in and kissing away one of the sticky salt paths over Quatre's cherub round cheeks. It was bitter taste, and a cherished one. "It's not that bad. And it'll never get that bad. None of us, even fifty years from now, will just forget one another. Not after everything we went through together. We'll be ninety, in old age homes, and still be thinking of one another sometimes. Trust me. Wufei will still be calling me a baka then, and Trowa will still remember the way you guys sometimes play together."
Quatre wouldn't be so easily comforted this time though. His whimpering cries stopped, but even as Duo watched, another tear built up in his eyes like a small tidal wave, then overflowed and gleefully made it's trek down, clinging fitfully to his chin before dropping down and making Duo's shirt a shade darker than black.
Finally, he confessed part of the true worry on his shaken mind, and when Quatre did, the American felt part of his heart freeze. "… I think Heero held us together."
"Why would you think that?" It came out soft and somewhat muddled through his suddenly numb lips.
"All of this started when he died… Before then, Wufei didn't need to go to the city for a job, because we had five people and together made enough for rent. And before he died, aside from himself, you guys rarely missed dinner. We had at least four nights a week when we'd all sit together and talk. And you used to plan those silly Friday games, and even if he hated them, he'd still join in. We all knew we'd be together then, every week. We'd keep our schedules open to watch TV, and throw popcorn, or to play cards. Now… You don't do them any more."
How was Duo supposed to tell him those Fridays were merely a way to get closer to Quatre, to have an excuse that the others would buy to really hang around the blonde without suspicion? Heero would get bored and stalk off after an hour, and the others never lasted much longer, and then Quatre and he would stay up until three, either sitting on the couch and watching bad movies, or talking, or finishing up some stupid board game. It was those stolen seconds that sometimes made the next day of watching Quatre scamper up to Heero tolerable.
He didn't need those now. He owned the blonde body, mind and soul, and had every right to his time with him. There was no need to set up sharing times with the others any more, nor the desire to.
He was still trying to come up with an acceptable excuse that the Arabian would buy when Quatre continued and saved him the trouble.
"Now Wufei had to leave to get a better job. And Trowa…" The boy took another gasping breath, burrowing closer into Duo's shirt and inhaling the familiar scent as he tried to make his own unwanted tears cease. "Trowa must miss him too. Maybe they didn't talk much, but they used to sit in the room together sometimes for hours, and just walking in you could tell they were comfortable with one another. Now he doesn't have that, and I think he's lonely. I should have paid more attention! I was so upset that I didn't stop to think about anyone but myself, and now looks what's happened!"
By now, it was a well known fact to Duo that when Quatre got into the self-blame mind-frame, little to nothing could be done to pull him out of it. You just had to ride the waves, and then be there afterwards to see what could be found and reassembled.
So he listened as the boy murmured unhappily to himself for a few minutes; listened, and lovingly pet his quivering back and kissed away his rolling tears. When Quatre had gone quiet for a few minutes and the small fingers clutching at the back of his shirt had loosened up, he knew it was okay to again speak up as long as he treaded carefully. Conversation was a minefield now, and certain words could easily send Quatre into a fit of depression that would take hours to work out.
When damply beautiful aqua eyes lifted and peered at him, all but begging for redemption and some form of salvation, Duo gave it to him with a gentle smile of support and a kiss on the corner of his plush mouth. "Trust me, Kitten. Everything's going to turn out just fine. Trowa will stick around somewhere nearby, he'd never just up and leave you. You guys are too close of friends for that. And Wufei will visit on the weekends. In the meantime… We'll get another place and keep busy making it all ours. We'll start looking today, all right?"
He waited, and got the slow nod he'd been wanting, along with a timid mirror of his own smile.
"Just trust me."