Disclaimer: I own nothing that JKR does.

Katarina woke up the next morning an hour before her alarm was set to go off. She quickly put on her uniform and robes before heading to the washroom to redo the makeup covering her scar. While this took nearly half an hour, she was still able to get back to her bed and take her potions before anyone else woke up. Once she had finished everything she needed to do, she grabbed her bag and headed downstairs to the common room to read before breakfast.

The common room was empty when she arrived so she sat down on the comfiest chair in the room and began to read. However, she found that she couldn't concentrate. Her thought were still on Sirius Black. She had begun to question whether or not Sirius had asked Seliina to Hogsmeade merely to annoy her. Katarina had to admit that Seliina was a very pretty girl. She was tall, thin, blonde, and blue-eyed. The boys clearly enjoyed these looks as Seliina had continually been asked to Hogsmeade by many of the boys in their grade in fourth year. Katarina, on the other hand, didn't see herself as particularly attractive. She was average height, with dark brown hair, and grey eyes. She was thinner now than she used to be, as she had barely eaten over the summer, but she wasn't skinny.

"The only thing I've got going for myself is my chest." Katarina mumbled to herself. "And all it generally brings me is back pain." She scowled angrily and tried to get her mind off Sirius by focusing on her schoolwork. It didn't work. She couldn't get rid of the voice in her head telling her that she was just jealous that Sirius hadn't asked her to Hogsmeade. She shook her head involuntarily to get rid of the thought. "No," she muttered angrily, "that can't be it. He has to be doing this to get under my skin."

"Talking to yourself there?" A friendly voice asked. Katarina looked up in alarm. It was Marcus Prince, a seventh year and the new Head Boy.

"What? Oh, yes. I sometimes do." Marcus smiled and sat down in the chair beside her.

"Look Katarina, I know you're probably hearing this from everyone right now, but I'm really sorry about what happened to your brother. He was a great guy. We weren't all that close, but when we'd run into each other he'd never had anything but kind words to say about anyone. He'd always ask how you were doing when he'd run into me in the hall." Katarina nodded numbly. She felt horrible for forgetting her brother these past few days. She hadn't even thought about him yesterday.

"Thanks." She croaked out eventually. She could feel the tears forming and she was trying her hardest not to let them fall.

"Professor Dumbledore asked me to talk to you about speaking at the memorial." Marcus added softly. "He said if it's too much for you, you don't have to." Katarina's eyes widened. She'd forgotten that the memorial was today. "You don't have to give him your decision until dinner, so if you need to think about it, you've got time." He added when she didn't respond right away. Katarina nodded.

"Thanks." She replied, her voice wavering slightly. She blinked away the tears that had begun to form, looked up and smiled. "I will think about it." By now the other students had begun coming downstairs from their dorms. Katarina stood up. "Anyway, I should be getting off to breakfast, but thank you for your kind words about my brother. I really appreciate them." Marcus smiled.

"Anytime." He told her. At that moment Seliina came downstairs.

"Katya, ready for breakfast are we?" She asked with a grin, linking arms with Katarina as she walked by.

"Well you're hauling me off, so I suppose I'd better be." Katarina replied with a laugh. She knew that Seliina was trying to keep her spirits up. Katarina guessed that Seliina had remembered that today was the memorial and that she knew Katarina would need support.

The day passed in a blur for Katarina. Her classes went relatively well, although she was distracted the entire day. It wasn't a problem until Potions, in which Seliina had to stop her twice from adding the wrong ingredients. By the end of the day she still hadn't decided whether or not to say anything at her brother's memorial. She spent her time between her last class and dinner in the library, contemplating what to do. She knew that she should say something, but she didn't want to break down in front of so many people. She also didn't know what she was going to say. Almost all of her memories of her brother were far too personal to share with most of the school. She also didn't want to be the one to tell them how her brother died. She knew that she could never tell them exactly what happened that night, but she didn't think she would be able to tell part of the story either.

Katarina's stomach was in knots during dinner and for the third night in a row she ate very little. Even looking at the food was starting to make her feel ill. Despite the fact that she had taken her potions that morning, she was having slight chest pains.

"Are you going to be alright?" Seliina whispered, when she noticed the look of despair on Katarina's face.

"I'll be fine." Katarina insisted. Seliina raised an eyebrow at her and shook her head.

"Have you made a decision yet?" Seliina asked softly. Katarina hesitated a moment before answering.

"I have." She said finally. "I'm going to try to say something. If I can't or I get into trouble…well I'll deal with that when I come to it." Seliina reached over and gave her friend's hand a squeeze.

"Everyone understands that this is going to be hard for you and even if you don't get a word out, they'll know how much he meant to you."

"Thanks." Katarina mumbled, a sad smile appearing on her face. "I suppose I should go tell Professor Dumbledore my decision." She added, getting up from the table. She slowly walked over to the professors' table and told Dumbledore that she would try to say something about Piotr.

"You are braver than you know, Miss Ivanova." The Headmaster said with a smile.

"Thank you, sir." She replied, before returning to her table.

In the time between dinner and the memorial, Katarina tried to prepare something to say. She hated everything she wrote. She couldn't find the words to express exactly how she felt. Everything she wrote felt hollow and empty. She wanted fitting words for Piotr. She wanted words that he could be proud of. By the time she had to leave, she had kept nothing that she had written. She decided to just go with what she felt.

When she and Seliina arrived, Katarina was in awe with what she saw. Nearly the entire school had turned up for the memorial. In fact there were so many students that they had to move it to the Great Hall just so they could fit everyone in. Katarina felt her chest tighten, when she saw all the people, and for a moment she struggled to breathe. However, she managed to gain control of herself fairly quickly, though not quickly enough as Seliina noticed right away.

"You don't have to do it, if you don't want to." She told Katarina.

"I know, but I want to. I need to." Katarina glanced around and saw that the room was arranged so that there were no house tables, but merely a room full of chairs, all facing a small platform that had a podium in the middle of it. She saw James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus all sitting in chairs near the back. James gave her a small wave and they all smiled at her as she came into the hall. She fought back tears as she and Seliina made their way past the crowd to the front of the room and took two seats at the front. Katarina smoothed her robes nervously and tried to think of what to say.

The memorial began soon after. Professor Dumbledore began by saying a few things about Piotr before handing the podium over to Professor McGonagall. She spoke about Piotr's time at Hogwart's and finished by saying that he was one of the finest students she had ever taught.

Then it was Katarina's turn. She walked steadily to the podium, her heart beating rapidly. She felt her throat tighten as she looked out at everyone who was gathered in the hall. She took a deep breath to try to steady her nerves, before beginning.

"I want to begin by thanking everyone here for coming. It's wonderful to see that my brother touched so many lives." She stopped for a moment and sighed. "Piotr was the kind of person that always knew the right thing to do to make your day brighten, be it a kind word in the hallway or a fresh towel for when Peeves got his hands on some water balloons. He took his position of prefect seriously, not because he liked the power, but because he wanted to make Hogwart's a better place for all students. I know he would have made an excellent Head Boy. He also took his studies here quite seriously, though he always had time for the occasional practical joke." Katarina paused for a moment to catch her breath. "He wanted to be an Auror once he finished school. It was his intention to move back to London once school was finished to begin training. I have no doubt he would have succeeded. I could never have dreamed up a better brother than Piotr. He was always there for me when I needed him and, despite being very busy with school, prefect duties, and his own friends, he always seemed to have time for me. I only hope he knew how much I appreciated it." Katarina took one more deep breath. She only had one thing left to say. "My brother died a true Gryffindor, brave until the end. He died saving a young girl from a group of muggle thugs. She escaped, but he was not quite so lucky." Katarina stopped for a moment and brushed back a tear. She knew she could say no more. "Thank you." She finished hoarsely, before leaving the podium and returning to her seat. Seliina grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

"Great job." She whispered. Katarina nodded slowly. She looked over at Seliina and saw that she was crying. Katarina was a little surprised but then remembered that Seliina had known Piotr better than most people.

"Thanks." Katarina replied softly. The rest of the memorial was a blur for Katarina. She heard everything that people said, but never registered it. She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she barely heard Dumbledore ask everyone to stand for a moment of remembrance. Katarina clumsily got to her feet and put a hand on Seliina's shoulder to steady herself. And then it was over. Katarina quickly excused herself to go back to her dorm. She knew that now that everyone knew how Piotr had died, they would want to talk to her about and she couldn't do that right now. She needed to be alone. However, halfway back to the Ravenclaw dorms, Katarina changed her mind. She would never be able to be alone in the dorms. She remembered a room Piotr had told her about. He called it the Room of Requirement and said that it was always there when someone needed it. She panicked for a moment, when she blanked out and couldn't remember where the room was. Once she calmed down, she remembered that it was on the seventh floor, so she decided to go up there and walk along until she remembered the exact location.

After walking along the seventh floor corridor for quite some time, she spotted a tapestry that depicted Barnabas the Barmy being clubbed by trolls. She remembered Piotr saying something about walking by the tapestry 3 times before the door would show itself. The only thought running through her head as she walked by the tapestry was I need to be alone.

"I hope this is right." She mumbled to herself as she walked by for the third time. When she looked back a door had appeared in the wall. She opened it and went inside, closing the door behind her. The small room was sparsely furnished with an armchair, a small bookshelf, and a small table with a large box of tissues on it. She sat down on the armchair with her head in her hands and began to cry. She sobbed like she never had before, hoping that the room was soundproof, but not caring if it wasn't. She let out all the emotions she hadn't been able to since her brother died. She screamed and sobbed and grabbed the books off the bookshelf and hurled them against the wall. By the time she was finished, she was exhausted. She sat down in the chair and sighed. She looked at her pocket watch and saw that it was nearly ten. She quickly cast a spell that eliminated all the evidence of her tears and opened the door slowly, looking into the hall to see if anyone was there. Satisfied that she was alone, Katarina stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind her, watching in amazement as the door faded away and was replaced by the wall once again. She heard a soft rustling sound coming from behind the tapestry and immediately grabbed her wand.

"Show yourself." She demanded, her voice wavering nervously. She pointed her wand at the tapestry and waited. A few seconds later, Sirius stepped out from behind the tapestry. "What, are you following me now?" Katarina asked in an exasperated tone.

"Ivanova, don't be like that."

"Be like what?" Katarina asked throwing her hands up in frustration. "I don't understand you Black. One minute you absolutely have to talk to me and the next you can't even give me one second of your time. So what is it that you want?"

"Nothing, I want nothing from you Ivanova." He turned to go but Katarina grabbed his arm.

"No, you waited there for me for quite a while and I want to know why." She demanded. Sirius sighed heavily and turned to face her. Katarina let go of his arm and crossed her arms across her chest.

"I wanted to talk to you." Sirius explained with a shrug. Katarina's harsh expression softened slightly.

"Yeah, well there are a few things I've been meaning to speak to you about." Katarina replied. "We could talk in there." She said, pointing to the wall.

"Alright." Sirius agreed. Katarina paced along the corridor, thinking hard about needing a private place to talk. After three passes by the tapestry, the door to the Room of Requirement appeared. Katarina walked in and saw that this time there were two large armchairs, a low table, and a steaming pot of tea on a tea service on the sideboard.

"Tea?" She asked politely.

"Sure. A little cream, no sugar please." Sirius replied, sitting down in an armchair. Katarina grabbed the service and set it down on the table. She poured Sirius a cup, added a little milk, and passed it to him before preparing a cup for herself. "Ivanova, about the other day…"

"Don't worry about it." Katarina told him. "We all have our bad days. I know I haven't exactly been particularly kind to you these past few days either. I really miss him, you know?" Katarina said, changing the subject.

"Piotr? I understand. Gryffindor isn't the same without him. Still, he died a hero. I think that's how he would have wanted to go. He never could have lived with himself if he had never tried to save that girl." Sirius said quietly.

"And now she has to live with the guilt of having someone die for her." Katarina added without thinking. Sirius sat up straight in his chair and looked at Katarina questioningly.

"What do you mean?" He asked. Katarina looked away nervously and hesitated before answering.

"I mean someone gave their life for her. I'm sure she some days she feels guilty about that. I'm sure that she sometimes feels that, if not for her, that person would still be alive." Sirius appeared to think about this statement for a moment, before a look of realization passed over his face.

"So you feel guilty then?" Sirius asked her.

"What? Why would I…? What?" Katarina stuttered nervously.

"Not only do you miss your brother, but you feel guilty for blaming this girl for Piotr's death." Katarina mentally heaved a sigh of relief. She pretended to think about his statement for a minute before replying.

"That would probably explain why I've been so upset lately. I miss Piotr so much and am furious at that girl for taking him away from me, but at the same time I feel guilty for being angry with her." Katarina lied. "But mostly I miss him. I have no big brother to scare off my future boyfriends, no one to spend my days with in the summer, no one to relate to when I complain about life back in Russia. He was the first person I'd tell my successes and the last person I wanted to know my failures. I don't know what I'll do with out him." Katarina choked out the last sentence. She tried to keep the tears from falling, but failed. Within moments she was sobbing uncontrollably. Sirius grabbed the box of tissues off the table and passed them to Katarina. She grabbed a tissue and tried to get control of herself. A few minutes later she had finally stopped sobbing. She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue before looking up. She looked at Sirius for a moment before looking back down. She felt embarrassed for losing it in front of him. She hated crying in front of anyone, but especially him. "I must look terrible." She mumbled.

"Well, I wouldn't say you look your best right now." Sirius said tactfully. Katarina looked up and smiled.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've looked better." She quickly performed the spells that eliminated all evidence of her tears before standing up slowly. "It's getting late, we should probably head back." Sirius nodded in agreement.

"We're already out past curfew, so you should probably come with me." He told her. Katarina looked at him quizzically.

"Why would it matter?" She asked.

"It matters because I have this." Sirius said, as he pulled out a large piece of folded up parchment from his pocket. He pointed his wand at the parchment and uttered the incantation, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." At that moment Katarina saw the words 'The Marauders Map' appear on the page. Sirius unfolded it and Katarina saw that it was a complete map of Hogwart's complete with dots that labeled the whereabouts of nearly every person in the building.

"Where on earth did you get that?" Katarina exclaimed.

"James, Remus, Peter, and I started it at the end of last year. We finished it over the summer. It's the reason I was able to find you today."

"Interesting." Katarina replied. "So that will help us get back to the dorms without being caught?"

"Of course. Just follow my lead and everything will be fine." Katarina let out a small laugh.

"Well, since I've got no other choice…" With that Katarina followed Sirius out of the Room of Requirement and into the hall.

True to his word, Sirius returned Katarina to her dorm room without getting them caught. Katarina politely thanked him for all his help and wished him goodnight before heading into her common room. Her common room was thankfully empty and when she went upstairs the only person still awake was Seliina.

"Where did you go?" She asked drowsily.

"I needed to be by myself for a little while. I'm alright now." Katarina assured her friend.

"Okay. G'night Katya."

"'Night, Seliina." Katarina whispered before closing the curtains around her bed. She quickly changed out of her robes into her pajamas before settling under the covers. She closed her eyes and drifted into an uneasy sleep.