Football at Hogwarts?
Chapter 1: The announcement
I don't own Harry Potter. I am not a multi billionaire. I don't live in the U.K. I am not a female.
A.N: I just got writers block with my other story, and this popped into my head. It will be a couple of chapters I think. I hope you think it's fairly funny. I know its short. Also, even though Harry Potter takes place in the 90s, I'm using current players.
Harry, Ron and Hermione made there way into the great hall for their 6th year at Hogwarts. After the wonderful feast, Dumbledore stood up and called for silence. "This year, Hogwarts will play host to a legendary event! Over the summer, I have been in talks with Paul Tagliabue, commissioner of the NFL over in America, who is an accomplished wizard, and we have decided to bring American Football to Hogwarts!" There were many excited talks after these words, and Dumbledore patiently waited for silence. "Now, we will determine how many teams we will have based on the participation." He conjured a long list out of mid air, "Now before I open up registration, let me tell you these specific rules. Your team will be assigned an NFL team, from which you will draft one player. Your team will also be assigned a temporary captain. That pupil will draft the player for your team. He or she will have unlimited access to stats, so they can determine the best player. The drafted player will be your team captain and coach, and will assign positions. No magic will be allowed in this tournament. Any by anyone on your team will get your team disqualified from the league. I like to call this the HFL. Catchy isn't it? Well please allow me to open registration… NOW!"
A mad rush was forced toward the paper, nearly everyone got up, including Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "You play football Hermione?" asked Ron shocked. "Of course I do. I am pretty athletic. I only don't play Quidditch because I don't like heights." Hermione said matter-of-factly. Ron stared at her, disbelievingly. "It's true Ron," defended Harry. Harry and Hermione had been going out for a little under a year, much to the disappointment of Ron and Ginny. They got over it though, and they were great friends again.
When the line was finally diminished, Dumbledore stood up. "If anyone else wants to sign up, come now." Nobody came up. "Okay, registration is now closed." After a couple minutes, he announced, "Amazing, this is the exact amount needed for 4 teams per house! It's like magic!" There was a light chuckle. "Okay, the Heads of Houses and I will determine the temporary captains and NFL teams. They will be announced at Breakfast tomorrow. Until then, Nitwit, Blubber, Oddment, Tweak! And every student left the great hall.
At breakfast the next morning, it was very quiet. Everyone wanted to know who was on which team. "Okay," Dumbledore pronounced calmly, "Here are the teams and captains. First is Ravenclaw. The first team captain is, Cho Chang. Her team is the Washington Redskins. On her team are… Next team captain: Terry Boot. His team is the Carolina Panthers. Next team captain: Luna Lovegood. Her team is the Seattle Seahawks. Finally, the last team captain. He is Michael Corner. He will have the Philadelphia Eagles. Now we have Hufflepuff. The first captain is Hannah Abbot. Her team is the Pittsburgh Steelers. Next, we have Ernie McMillan. His team is the Oakland Raiders. Next we have Susan Bones. Her team is the Denver Broncos. Finally, we have Zacharias Smith. His team is the Miami Dolphins. Now, onto Slytherin. First captain is Draco Malfoy. His team is the New York Giants. Next captain is Pansy Parkinson. Her team is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Next we have Blaise Zabini. His team is the Dallas Cowboys. Closing out Slytherin is Daphne Greengrass. Her team is the Chicago Bears. Lastly, we have Gryffindor. First captain is Harry Potter. His team is the New England Patriots. Next is Ginny Weasley. Her team is the Cincinnati Bengals. Next captain is Cormac McLaggen. His team is the Indianapolis Colts. Finally, we have Romilda Vane. Her team is the New York Jets. Team lists will be posted in the Common Rooms. Everyone except the captains leave please." The majority of the room left. "Now captains, you will have every statistic, every news report, every everything about every player on your team. You have one hour. Begin." A huge stack of papers appeared in front of Harry. He began looking through it all.
After about 25 minutes of frantic searching, Draco and Pansy stood up. They whispered their choices to Dumbledore. He stood up. "The New York Giants have selected Michael Strahan, Defensive End and the Tampa Bay Bucs have selected Ronde Barber, Cornerback. After 5 more minutes, all the Ravenclaws and the remaining Slytherins stood up. They whispered their picks to Dumbledore. "The Redskins have selected Clinton Portis, Running Back, the Panthers have selected Jake Delhome, Quarterback, the Seahawks have selected Shaun Alexander, Running Back, the Rams have selected Torry Holt, Wide Receiver, the Cowboys have selected Julius Jones, Running Back, and the Bears have chosen Brian Urlacher, Inside Linebacker." Dumbledore said in one amazing long breath. 10 minutes later, Ernie, Susan, Hannah, and Ginny stood up. They whispered their picks to Dumbledore. "The Steelers have chosen Jerome Bettis, Running Back, the Raiders have picked Randy Moss, Wide Receiver, the Broncos have picked Jake Plummer, Quarterback, and the Bengals have picked Chad Johnson, Wide Receiver." Dumbledore breathed out again astonishingly. Harry was getting frustrated. He couldn't find the perfect player. The obvious choice would be Tom Brady, 3-time super bowl winner, but he didn't seem right. He needed a physical and emotional presence on his field. Then it came to him. Tedy Brushci! He had overlooked him because he had a stroke last February, but the physical said he was fine. He stood up after Dumbledore said that Cormac had picked Peyton Manning, and that Romilda picked Laveranues Coles. Dumbledore announced his choice. Finally, with 5 minutes left, Zacherias Smith finally chose Jason Taylor, a Defensive End. They all left, Harry feeling eager to see his team.