ok, here's the two-part one shot i've been working on for about...two or three weeks now, from an idea that just came to me as i worked on the last installment of Just Friends.

just to let you know, that the Neville portrayed in this is not the one from JF at all...he's different. the plot line is pretty much OOC, and takes place as if the last two books never came out. so it's their 6th year.

and, last but not least, i dedicate this to animedorkette, for all her lovely prodding me to finish this! waves carbon copies of all the pokey-prodding emails so yeah, hope you enjoy this!

Wednesday, 25 January, 2006. 10: 55 pm

"Did you hear 'bout…."

"…Two tongue of newts, powdered earthworm…."

"…Can't believe the essay Flitwick expects done by…."

"They explode, ya know, and then…."

The voices of the common room washed over Neville, as they always did, especially as no one was ever talking just to him. But he didn't mind, as it gave him time to study up on his favorite subject…and to talk to the only being known to listen to his every thought and whim without interruption, without wanting to be elsewhere. Someone that depended upon him with total devotion.

Trevor.

At the moment, the toad was cradled in his left palm and resting in the boys lap, where he sat hunched over and legs crossed beneath him upon a secluded chair. His free hand gently stroked his pet's warm and mildly sticky flesh, fingers lightly stroking along familiar bumps and curves and bulges. The toad had been the only thing to listen to the boy with no tangible friends to speak of; sure, there were people that he sometimes spent time with, but no one that was just his friend, who wanted to spend free time with him.

That was ok too, because he'd never really had too many people to lean on anyway. Growing up with his parents elsewhere, and then his grandmother being who she was…and his family was nice and all, but he was still someone caught in the middle of everything, and forgotten. So after a time, Neville began to forget things too; growing up, it had never been too important to know such tasks as mealtimes and wash times and lessons. One could almost say that he'd pretty much raised himself, other than the presence of his grandmother at all times. It was her that kept him grounded, kept him from completely drifting away unto himself. He loved her with everything he had within him, and it was this love that enabled him to remember most things. Such as when to eat. But it was other trivialities that forever escaped him.

But now, he was absorbed into touching Trevor, of being able to have the freedom to touch the little body; fragile bones just below super thin flesh, muscles catching against his skin as he skimmed his finger everywhere.

It was as his finger was stroking the toad's underbelly that Trevor let out a faint croak, causing the boy to smile even as he murmured, "Pervert."

There was a soft croak in answer, making the boy's smile widen into a grin as he lifted up his best friend and gave him a friendly nuzzle with his nose, not caring that to anyone looking, he seemed so childish and naïve.

Innocent.

An innocent little boy who's seventeenth birthday went by without notice. An innocent boy that had an ache in his chest from the want of love from another for him, the want of love from anyone that would show just the tiniest shred of care.

"…Someone to cuddle with, Trev. Someone to kiss me and mean it, who'll tell me when I need it that they love me. Someone with eyes only for me. That's what I want, forever." A soft and broken little whisper, spoken late at night, the toad's owner curled up on his side with his pet cradled to his chest in a sleepy manner.

The rest of the boys asleep or nearly there; it wouldn't have mattered, as Neville's whisper was barely loud enough for him to feel, not to mention hear. But saying it made things easier, knowing that someone listened to him, at least. And so what if it was only a toad? Trevor was the closest thing to his heart, even if he couldn't talk, and probably didn't understand most of what he was told.

But Neville could always pretend, couldn't he?

He'd pretended before, when he was much younger, and years from entering Hogwarts. Years before he'd received his pet. He'd pretended to have a friend, a real boy that had kept constant company with him. A boy that had been as real to Neville as his grandmother, much to her chagrin and worry. He'd been named Trevor…the first Trevor. A boy that had shared his food, his bed, his secrets. It had been due to the worry of his grandmother at what she viewed as an unhealthy obsession that had lead to Neville receiving the second Trevor. And make believe boys can never hold salt with a living breathing being. So the pretend boy had gradually disappeared, replaced with the toad. Who seemed completely unaware that his supposed personality was really just a reflection of a past friend and confidant of his master. A friend that had forever earned the special love of Neville, even if the boy himself didn't realize it.

But it was as the boy's eyes were heavily drifting shut that Trevor gave out an odd sort-of-answering croak, and a waver of something tinged with magic hovered over the two before dissipating down into the two still bodies.

--- --- ---

Neville's eyes snapped open in time to realize that the room he was supposedly sleeping in was dark. Really dark, more so than he'd have remembered from the Hogwarts dorm. The next thing he realized was that there was a small figure curled up against his chest. And it was not toad shaped, by any means. His breath hitched, especially as a strange glow occurred and gently lit up the room he…they…were in.

It was a boy, with straw colored hair bordering on brown in some places. He looked to be about nine or ten, which would account for his small and compact stature. And he was wearing a pair of pajamas that matched Nev's…in fact; the ones covering the boy's body were huge and painted an adorable picture, despite the odd circumstances of the situation.

And…and Neville was beginning to panic, his breaths coming in wheezing pulls as his eyes flit around the room…before abruptly deducting that it was his own, from his home. But…how did he come to be here? The last thing he could actively remember was talking to Trevor before falling asleep, and then he was…here.

With…him.

Someone that was beginning to pull warning bells in the back of his mind.

There was a shift in the bed, which caused him to give out an involuntary shriek of surprise, his gaze ripping down to see that the boy was sleepily turning onto his back, eyelashes twitching before fluttering open. Their gazes caught, and Neville began to drown in the odd pupils of the boy's eyes…large black center, ringed by a rich and expressive brown iris. There was no white to the boy's eyes at all…and even as he watched, the black pupil suddenly shrunk down, just before the boy became a flurry of activity…scurrying away from Neville and giving out little gasping sobs as he cast a desperate look about him for some way of escape.

Alarmed, Neville leant forward and worriedly gasped, "Trevor…!"

Both froze, eyes wide as they regarded the other in absolute shock. Tears sprang up to sting Nev's eyes as he whispered again that name, feeling the old ache at seeing his dearest friend; how could he have ever forgotten such a boy?

The boy seemed to be getting over his fear, awe seeping onto his face as he shakily asked, "Nevvie?"

This met a broad grin, and then there was another flurry of activity as they rushed at each other, arms wrapping tightly enough to cause them problems in breathing. They began to gasp out interrogations, overlapping questions and demands for how the other has been in their absence.

Until it all faded away, replaced with a dull sadness; this was troublesome to them both. Trevor was a boy, as he had been when Neville finally stopped needing him, but Nevvie had grown up. It left a disparate gap between the two, one that felt as if it'd never be filled.

"I…I missed you, you left me for so long…." Trevor finally whispered, causing guilt to flare up in the other boy.

"I didn't mean to, I…I went to school, and Gram gave me…." He gasped, frantically sending glances around them, looking to see if the toad was there with him. But he wasn't.

"What, Nevvie? Can I help?" Trevor asked worriedly, especially at seeing the fallen look of his best friend…the boy he'd lived for, so long ago.

"I was…whatever's happened to me…Trevor didn't come." Neville despaired, not noticing the shock on the boy's face.

"But…."

"My toad." Neville stated softly, having finally noticed his friend's discomfort. He was unprepared for the raw pain on the boy's face at that proclamation, sobs abruptly ripping from the tiny form.

"You replaced me," was the reason for the crying, and Neville automatically reached out and hugged him to his chest, running a soothing hand down the other's back.

"I gave you a body." Neville murmured truthfully, but it didn't help with the boy's sobbing. So Neville continued to offer comfort, until the both of them gradually shifted into lying down, drifting back into slumber.

--- --- ---

Voices were what woke him, the normal morning routine that had become so familiar to him over the years at Hogwarts. Speaking of which…when his eyelids popped open, he confirmed that he was indeed back in the bed at school, back to being…normal? A soft croak brought his attention to the toad that was sitting upon his pillow, currently staring at him more avidly than he could ever recall before.

"Trevor…?" he whispered, but the toad didn't say anything, and…why was he feeling an odd squirm of disappointment?

That feeling remained throughout the day, and he couldn't help the way his eyes were drawn back to his pet more often than not, wondering if the whole thing had been a strange dream of some sort. But it had felt so real. Besides, he'd not thought of his imaginary friend in ages (oh, how he mentally cringed at calling someone as real to him as Trevor had been as being imaginary). So where could such a dream have come from? Neville knew enough to know that these things are ever rarely coincidental in nature, not when Fate decides to mingle with it.

A thought that made him want to both flush with excitement and pale with extreme dread.

---

"I think Trevor's sick, Neville. He's not acting the same."

He was jerked out of a contemplative stare at the toad sitting just above his plate at dinnertime, looked up to see the mildly interested face of Dean.

"Hm?" he asked, having not really caught the statement.

"Trevor looks sick, 'e's all…unmovin'. Does 'e even breath?"

More people had tuned into the conversation, and…Trevor seemed to have sensed the attention, because he gave an odd little croak and immediately jumped through Nev's mashed potatoes (fortunately, they were sans gravy) and into his lap. Everyone laughed, while Nev lovingly picked the toad up and held him up at face level, checking to see that he was all right. And again, he was drowning in black and brown eyes, his own dark blue ones widening with shock and a feeling of…déjà vu.

It was this that made him push away from the table without much warning, causing others around him to seem shocked as they watched him hurry from the Great Hall. But none of them really thought too much about it, as Seamus chose that moment to say something remarkably funny about something a professor had said earlier that day.

--- ---

Neville's heart was beating a fragile rhythm, overly excited as he decided to escape somewhere he could pretty much be alone…the men's toilets on the third floor. It was next to always deserted, and most certainly during the evening mealtime. Sure enough, the place was empty, and Neville finally set his toad down upon the lip of a porcelain sink, before crouching down so that they were at eye level.

"Trevor…." He breathed, and the toad gave him a soft croak.

"My…my friend, Trevor?" he asked warily, feeling stupid, but having to ask all the same. Again, there was a soft croak.

"You…move left." He breathlessly directed, and the toad looked mildly confused before taking a step to the right.

"I meant…ha, I meant my left." Neville exhaled, shocked beyond belief when the toad sent him a baleful glare and took a step to the other left.

And his eyes lit up as he gasped, "It's you! Trevor…how…?"

He was going to say more, but when his hand reached out to touch his…friend…the room began to swim, before it faded altogether.

---

Fingers brushed against his cheek, and he groaned before his eyes flicked open, his vision blurry before focusing upon an increasingly familiar face.

"Trev…bloody hell, you're…!"

He jerked upright, staring at the young man kneeling before him; Trevor now appeared to be about fourteen years of age, the pajamas from before not so large upon his frame anymore. His hair had darkened enough to be called a honey-brown, but his eyes remained the same. The teen seemed nervous as he shyly glanced down at his aged body, biting his lip as he glanced back up.

"I know, I woke up like this…and…I can remember everything that happened when I was…a toad." And bloody hell, his voice was deeper and more mature, making butterflies flit about in Neville's stomach as he realized that he was only three years older than this Trevor.

"So, you were my toad." Nev stated foolishly, blushing with embarrassment when his friend sent him a fondly teasing grin.

"Yeah, and you changed in front of me and ever'thing. I thought I'd die of embarrassment at seeing your c-" A hand slapped over his mouth, Neville's eyes wide at seeing this dirty-minded side of his best friend, even as blood surged to his face at the very thought that this…this boy had seen him naked.

"Pervert." He breathed, startled to feel the tiny giggles that shook his friend's body.

"I'm just turned fifteen…how I know is 'yond me, but I am. Can't help but to think about sexy biz all the time!" the boy protested, heat flaring up in his cheeks but unable to lie. Neville's eyebrow rose in derision, causing Trevor to quail…before the older boy lapsed into easy chuckles of empathy.

"I 'member being fifteen, s'okay Trev."

Relieved, Trevor looked about the room, which was the same as the last 'episode'.

"I've never left this place." He stated softly, making Neville frown with curiosity.

"Where were you…until recently?" The other boy shrugged, a bewildered look upon his face.

"Dunno, can't rightly say. I remember flashes of stuff…but it's all hazy. The last thing I remember clearly was when you showed me a letter…for school, it was. I was excited, I wanted to learn magic too."

"I'm a horrid wizard, ever'one knows it. I can't remember simple spells, and my potions always blow up." Neville admitted glumly.

"You kid me! Yer a great wizard, I know it! You made stuff 'appen all the time, I 'member!" Trevor protested eagerly, brow raised slightly.

"That stuff was different…anyone could open doors and stuff our first year. 'Alohamora', it's called."

"Aloha-what? You never said any of that mumbo-jumbo. You just did it."

Neville's forehead furrowed, trying to recall…and flashes of his childhood began to filter in; of putting out a hand and gently touching a locked side door to the back yard, of having it open even as he grabbed Trevor's hand and they laughed as they bolted from the house to be free until later caught. Of accidentally dropping his Gram's favorite vase when him and Trevor rushed around a corner of a hallway, hands clasped together in a way that had been customary to them back then. That vase had tipped over, and horrified, Neville had suddenly wished that it could fly…and then it had. It had zipped right back up onto the tiny table, wobbling in place for a moment before becoming still again. As if nothing had happened. They'd been four at the time.

"I…I can't do any of that anymore." Neville finally stated, uncomfortable with the astounded look upon his best friend's face.

"What? Nuffing?"

Nev blushed, shrugging as he corrected, "Not that…sort of stuff. I can do spells and the like, now." He reached for his wand…before realizing that he was still wearing pajamas, and there was no wand in sight. Feeling defeated, he slumped his shoulders, causing his friend to lean over and rub his back in a comforting manner.

And again, the world went hazy.

--- --- ---

The world was still when Neville woke, the floor hard underneath his face and hands…and body? Oh yeah, he was lying on the tiled floor of the men's toilets, wasn't 'e? He groaned softly at the thought of the filthy floor beneath his skin as he pushed himself upright…and jerked when his eyes caught sight of Trevor-the-toad sprawled not more than a foot away. Concerned, the teen gathered his legs up underneath him and crawled over to his friend, tenderly sliding a palm beneath the warm body and lifting him upwards. And he twitched, seeming to come out of whatever had happened to them, but still disoriented.

"Trevor, it's Nev…you alright, mate?" he whispered softly, and smiled when there was an answering croak, even as the toad shifted about and looked up at him. Nev stroked against his head with a finger, and he seemed to enjoy the touch, making the teen grin.

But then he sobered as he brought Trevor up to eye level, stating, "I don't know if I can take much more of this."

Trevor seemed to agree, as the remark was answered with a firm croak.

--- --- ---

"Neville…it's late? Where did you disappear to?" Hermione asked him this when he stepped through the common room entrance of the dormitory, where her and Ron and Harry where sitting there at the couch closest to the fire.

"I…I got lost." Neville stated stupidly, and saw Ron roll his eyes at the statement. But Harry and Hermione shared a strange look before turning back towards the poor boy.

"Are you sure? I mean…how could you be lost?" Harry asked, and red tinted Neville's cheeks at the patronizing looks upon all their faces.

"Just…got lost. And Trevor…I lost Trevor, I had to find him."

It was a lame excuse, but they seemed to finally buy it, as they turned back to whatever they'd been working on when he'd come in. Relieved, he quickly made his way up the stairs, as fast as he could without tumbling all over the place with his usual klutzy grace…but then again, maybe he was too excited to have time to stumble over his own feet. Not a single misstep, not a bumble or trip up.

But he never noticed.

--- --- ---

"Close yer eyes, Trev, I wanna change." Neville's whisper was soft, but very firm, causing the toad to give an indignant croak before hopping over and hiding his face against the pillow. Adorable, really, and Neville took a moment to savor it before remembering that he was supposed to be changing.

And he did so in record time, before cheerfully announcing when Trevor could turn back around. After that was a small flurry of activity as Neville crawled into bed and got situated, consciously aware of making sure his friend was comfortable as well. And this time, when they drifted off to sleep, they stayed toad and boy, wallowing in the kind of dreams that never make an impression enough to remember in the morning.

--- --- ---

"Did you see it?"

"See what?"

"What Neville did in class today?"

"Did he set himself on fire again?" Ron and Harry's snickers met this statement, while Hermione frowned and rolled her eyes.

"No, he did not. As a matter of fact, he was brilliant. Or were you too busy trying not to pay attention to notice that he was the only other one to complete today's assignment? Before me."

The two boys stilled, shock clear on their faces before turning to view the teen in question. He was sitting alone in the common room, which wasn't unusual, but today he seemed to be in oddly high spirits.

"I think he's going barmy, that one. Always with that stupid toad of his." Ron muttered, and Hermione smacked him upside the head before letting the subject drop.

A/N: on to part two! (clicky the button, shall we?)