Disclaimer: I take no part in the owning of Naruto or Tootsie-Pops! Bow down!
"Hi!" cried Funky. "We're back! No long-term delays or anything!"
"No!" Rain shouted popping up in the middle of the screen. "But Funky's missing his pants-"
Funky shot Rain an 3vi1 glare.
"-so he had to wear a skirt, because, you know, the show must go on!"
Off to the side, smoke was trailing onto the set. Funky whirled around at Ino's cackling. Ino had been the last 'Special Guest', if you have short-term memory. Funky, in his jean-miniskirt, ran to the side.
"Crud! My pants that make me look like Ben Ten!" he could be heard trying to beat out the flames. Or...maybe something more unpleasant was happening. Something being hinted at by Ino's deep laughter, the sound of liquid being poured, a shout of 'GASOLINE!', and much, much more smoke.
"Okay," said Rain, acting calm. Maybe too calm... "Since Funky's now being burned to a crisp by possibly one of the most spiteful and dangerous Sasuke fangirls yet-"
"I am NOT a fangirl!" screeched Ino. "I'M GONNA KILL SOMEONE!"
"Yes, by...uh, Ino...anyway, Funky will not be able to participate. Fortunately for you, I have the whole show planned out!"
"More devious plans!" said Quigley, holding a flashlight under his face.
"Dom dom dooooooooooom!" came a cry from...somewhere.
Rain pulled a cord, and confetti fell out of the sky. "I n T r o D U c I n g . . ."
A fat kid waddled out from the side.
"CHOJI!" cried Rain, hastily moving out of the way to avoid being squashed.
"I'm not fat." Choji reached into his pocket for a bag of Cheese Chips.
Quigley was ready, though. He pulled out a flamethrower and torched poor, poor Choji's cheesy snack.
"WAAAAAAGHHHH!" screamed Choji.
"Anyway," Rain continued. "Choji is our next Special Guest!"
Choji thought for a minute. Meaning he thought about FOOD for a minute. "Does that mean I get food?"
Rain shook her head. "Nope. But I do. And, hey, so does everyone else!"
"Huh?" Choji clearly didn't understand the intensity of his predicament. Not YET, anyway.
Naruto ran up to him, slurping a bowl of ramen. "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!" he slurped.
Sasuke sauntered onto the scene, licking a lollipop. "What the heck? How many licks DOES is take to get to the center of a Tootsie-Pop!"
"Mmmmm..." Sakura bit into a piece of cardboard cut out like a piece of toast. "Wait, this isn't toast! It's-"
Sasuke walked away, whistling.
"Anyway," Rain said, eating French Fries, "Doesn't this smell GOOOOOOOOD, Choji?"
But Choji couldn't answer, because of the waterfall of drool cascading from his open mouth. This waterfall created a river of Choji-drool, and poor little Naruto was swept away in it's rapid currents, still trying to eat his ramen.
"I wouldn't keep eating that if I were you!" called Rain, before turning back to the screen. "Okay, Naruto can suck up all the spit he wants, but we're not done torturing...I mean, playing with our good friend Choji."
Choji had finally shut his mouth, and turned to Rain. "Why can't I have any food?" he whined.
"Because," said Rain, poking him. "You're..."
"Uh-oh..." said Viewer #1.
"She wouldn't..." said Viewer #2.
"She would!" cried Viewer #3.
"FAT!" shouted Rain, laughing. "Fatty-fatty-fatso!"
"WAAAAAGHHHH!" cried Choji, turning red. "I'M NOT FAT!"
"Yes, you are!" laughed Rain. "You're so fat! Fat! Fat!" She imitated an echo. "Fat..fat...fat...FAt..."
"NO!" cried Choji. "NO!"
"Well, then, if you aren't fat, what are you, you big...fatso?" Rain taunted.
"I'm...pleasingly plump!" said Choji indignantly.
"Yeah." Rain chuckled. "That's a good one. No, what were you really going to say?"
Choji stared at her. "What...what do you mean, 'What was I going to say'?"
Rain put her hands up, and walked around in a circle. "That CAN'T be what you call yourself. A GRANDMA is pleasingly plump. And you sure don't look like someone's Grandma to me."
Poor little Choji...well, poor BIG Choji...couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I can't beLIEVE what I am hearing."
"Oh, so you expect me to believe you're a grandma?" Rain kept waling in circles.
"He's no grandma!" cried Quigley, pointing a mittened finger. "He's a FAKE!"
"I'm not SAYING I'm a grandma!" yelled Choji.
Quigley started running away. "WAUGH!" he cried. "He's gonna squash me with his fatness!"
The screen shifted, and it was possible see that they were situated near a conveniently-placed cliff. Rain walked over to one side, and Quigley ran until he was at the edge.
"Run, Fatso, run!" yelled Quigley.
Choji couldn't take it anymore. He ran at Quigley. "I'll teach you to call me fat, skinny!"
"You're not skinny, Porky," said Rain. Then she lunged. "Super-tripping-technique!" she cried, tripping Choji.
"WAAAAAAH!" Choji tripped for obvious reasons. Then he tumbled down the cliff.
"And this little piggy goes Wee, wee, wee, wee, all the way home," Rain recited. Then she saluted the screen. "'till next time, loyal viewers! Hopefully my brother will be back...if he didn't suffer to many burns..." Rain brandished a fire-extinguisher. "I'd better go put him out. So long!"
Viewer #1 looked at the TV. "We always close the chapter, you know that?"
"I think these chapters just keep getting shorter and shorter," sighed Viewer #2.
Viewer #3 couldn't say anything because he had a toothpick stuck in his throat.
Sorry for the short chapters. It's finals week, I don't have much time, I'm running out of ideas, and I really, really want to beat Kingdom Hearts. So cool. Uh, so send in your ideas, and I'll try my hardest to make the chapters good!