Disclaimer : I do not own Final Fantasy, although... someday I shall! (yeah, right)

I know my story is the most pointless thing exsisting at the moment, but I have to get it out of my system. The idea for 'The Cids United' was not originally mine, but my friend, T.J.'s. Everything else I came up with, except all the characters in it, they're either real or from a game or movie.

The Cids United

Inside a small ship located in who knows where...

"We're going to have to go back in to the Matrix. Something is wrong..." a female voice echoed through the ship.

"Yes, and now that I know I am The One, I can be more helpful!" the tall one with the long black hair said walking towards her.

"Yeah, we know you're The One, you've just been preaching about it for about... forever!!" the bald one said as he pushed his black tinted sunglasses further on.

"Don't worry, I should be able to send you all back into the Matrix in a few moments... remember, The Cids are going to need our help if they are going to even stand a chance against... you-know-who." the red-haired one whispered the last part, but everyone there heard it.

"'You-know-who?' You mean Voldemort?" the female asked, brushing her blonde bangs from her eyes.

"No, not Voldemort. We cannot say his name, for if we do, something bad happens..." the red-head replied. "Finally, I got a good connection to the Matrix, hurry-up and I'll send you guys in."

"Good connection? This isn't an internet provider. Nevermind, let's just hurry. Before we're too late." the bald one stated before getting ready to be sent in.

Back onto the streets of D.C. ...

"Hm. It makes you wonder, how did Dublya get us here? It makes no sense!" Cid VII pondered. "I know the worlds we live in have no Laws of Physics, but whoa, how the hell did he do it?" he went to take out a cigarette, but he had none left. "WHAT?! C'mon guys. We need to find the first Mini-Mart we can, I need da ciggs."

"Um... if you don't mind me asking, how can you smoke so much? You inhale, like, a pack a day, we might as well start calling you Smoke'ems," Cid IX said hopping to Cid VII's side.

"Yeah, well, who asked you anyway?" Cid VII said as he glared at the ooglop next to him. "Just you wait, I know some pretty good exterminators."

Cid IX just gulped and shut his mouth. 'Wait till I get the antidote for this curse. I will become an old man, and you won't be able to hurt me because...well, because you must respect your elders. Ha, ha, ha!'

Our 'heroes' made their way to the Uni-Mart and stepped inside, hoping to find some cigarettes, so Cid VII would stop complaining for at least 2 minutes.

They came to the cashier, and Cid VII pushed his way to the front of the line.

"Was kann ich mache für Sie?" the cashier asked. He had a small patch of a mustache under his nose, and he had a heavy German accent.

"I just want some cigarettes, man. I don't wan't any trouble," Cid VII said, not knowing what the man said. "So, you're--" he then looked at the cashier's name-tag, "Adolf Hilter? Ah, catchy name. I like it."

Adolf put the 4 packs of cigarettes on the counter and scaned them. "Das ist $22.95."

Cid VII put twenty-three dollars down and headed for the door, but not before asking one of the other workers why someone who didn't speak the same language was working here.

"Ah, Hitler wasn't able to take over Europe or the world, so he settled for taking over this Uni-Mart," the other worker answered before going back to opening boxes.

"Okaaaaaaay..." Cid VII said backing away, so he could leave. "C'mon, losers, we have to get back to the White House."

They got out of the Uni-Mart and headed towards the direction of the White House. But they never reached it. About 5 minutes later, they were stopped by people in black suits, and they wore thick black-tinted glasses.

"Mr. Highwind..." one of them said stepping forward. "Will you please come with us, all of you?"

Before the Cids could make their decision, 3 other people came onto the scene. One with short blonde hair, another with long black hair, and the other was bald.

"Hey hey hey, what's going on?" Cid VIII asked thumping over to where the other Cids were standing.

"These men are know as 'Agents', they are bad people, we are here to help you guys. Also, I'm the Chosen One!" the black-haired one said proudly before going ahead of them towards one of the Agents. "It's been awhile, Agent Leonhart."

"Too long. But we don't have time to play games, we will be back!" the agent said before they all disappeared, leaving the Cids very confused.

"Who were they, and did they have anything to do with my Cheese-Its?" Cid X said giving the 3 strangers weird looks.

"We are hackers of the Matrix, and we try to stop those Agents anyway we can. My name is Rude, that blondie over there is Elena, and that dude, who's always bragging about being The One, is Tseng." the bald man stated looking at all the Cids carefully.

"Anyway, the Oracle told us about you men, and we're here to assist you in anyway possible," Elena said stepping foreward and bowing her head, as a sign of respect.

"Oracle? Matrix? Respect?! It's all too much!!!" Cid VIII said as he crumbled into a fetal posistion on the floor, sucking his thumb.

"Anyway, do you accept our offer?" Rude asked stepping over Cid VIII offering his hand to Cid VII as a sign of trust.

"What the hell? I've been through crazier stuff when I traveled with Cloud," Cid VII replied as he shook Rude's hand.

"Okay, everyone, hold eachother's hands," Tseng said and everyone followed his directions.

Rude the tapped a metallic item on his shirt before holding hands and then spoke, "Reno. Beam us up."

On the ship known as: Nebuchadnezzar...

"Whoa, this ship is junk compared to the Highwind!" Cid VII said laughing.

Rude just shrugged. "It is very hard to get decent ships here, much is limited."

"Yeah, we keep the Matrix safe from Agents that try to get out of it. It sometimes is a hard job!" Elena said taking a sip of very weak coffee. "Anyway, the Oracle said you four men are the key to stopping him."

"Who is 'him'?" Cid IX asked hopping on a table and making himself comfy.

"He is the one true evil in this world. Even more so then Hilary Duff. We try to avoid speaking his name because bad things seem to happen when it is spoken. He has commited many crimes and killed many people, not to mention he jay-walks! His name is... Ned Flanders," as soon as the name left Reno's lips, the mug Elena was holding, smashed.

"So...when do we go after him?" Cid X asked rubbing his bald head.

Tseng clasped his hands and smiled. "You must be going in...3...2...1, bye-bye!"

Somewhere on the Streets of Springfield, Illinois...

Cid VII then shot up, from his sleeping posistion on the cold side-walk. "The hell?! I thought we were just on a ship, what're we doing here?"

"It seems they must've put us to sleep and sent us here. This is where we'll probably find Ned Flanders," Cid VIII said as she glasses broke. "Great..."

"So, we'd better get this Ned Flanders guy, right? Well...what're we waiting for? I got to get back to my world, I run a kingdom!!" Cid IX said as he started his way down the street.

Author's Notes: "Hey hey! Finished another chapter, sorry for the delay! The End is coming! But there will be extra chapters that are just for fun, like Karaoke Night. So stay tuned! Also, I hope to get another chapter in tomorrow, so look out!