Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy at the moment, but I will soon! Pays Square-Enix lots of money, and ends up making the Final Fantasy Series come crashing down Heheh.

The Cids United

Special Chapter: Rehab

Somewhere in a Rehap room...

"It's okay to feel sad," the manager said as he sat down in the circle of chairs. "Now, you know why you're all here, now why don't we introduce ourselves? My name is Mr. Wadinheim, and I am your Rehap manager."

A man with a long red cape then stood up, he was wearing matching red underwear also. "H-h-hi...m-m-my name i-i-i-i-is...Superman...I-I-I'm here b-because I'm a-a-addicted t-o coc-cain..." he said as he twitched a bit.

"Nice to meet you Superman, don't be afraid to talk, we're not here to judge you," Mr. Wadinheim said with a small frown.

"B-b-but I d-do not m-mean t-to st-st-studder, it's bec-cause of the c-cocain," Super man replied as he sat back down.

"Oh! Uh...next?" Wadinheim said turning red from embarrassment.

An icy blue woman then stood up. "Good-evening, my name is Shiva, and I am here because I am addicted to ice cubes. My doctor, Dr. Garland said that having your skin color as blue is unatural and unhealthy, so he sent me here to cope with it."

She sat down and another one rose up. A man with green hair and silver skin stood up. "I am Captain Planet and I was sent here because of my strange obsession with my Planeteers. They told lawyers that everytime I see them I spend 'private time' with them, but truth be told, it's only every Friday I do that."

Cid VII then looked at them. "I do not need to be here! I am not addicted to cigarettes, I can stop whenever I want to, I just don't want to!!!" he shouted as he stood up.

Mr. Wadinheim then smiled and said, "aww...someone is in denial."

"&$#% you man!" Cid VII yelled as he sat down. "&#$%#$%$#&&&#$%$%#!!%$#$$%&%$#$%&%$#$%&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn bastards..." he said calming himself, also liting a cigarette.

A big, black man stood up and gave a sigh. "My name's Barret an' I'm here 'cause I'm a black man who wishes he was white so he could act black. That is all," he then sat down.

"Thank-you Mr. Wallace, who's next?" Mr. Wadinheim replied. No one stood up and he looked around. "That's all? Okay, let's start the healing."

Before anyone could reply, Nazis busted in and aimed their assualt rifles at Mr. Wadinheim.

"Come with us you Jew!" one of them yelled.

"Nazis?! Damn I thought I losted them years ago...You'll never take me alive, you here that?!!?!" Mr. Wadinheim screamed running out the door.

"Get the tranquilizers," another Nazi said as they all went after the Jewish Rehab manager.

"Thank-$#%&'n-God, he's gone..." Cid VII said as he lite another cigarette.

All the other people in the Rehab room nodded and started doing the stuff they weren't suppossed to do. Superman started to sniff his coccain, Shiva started to suck on some of the ice cubes from the cups that resided on the table, Captain Planet went into a closet... Anyway, Barret started praying he was white and they were all totally oblivious to the fact Mr. Wadinheim started to fly and beat up the Nazis with his laser-beam eyes.

Author's Notes: First of the pointless chapters. More to come. (Note: These have really nothing to do with the story, so don't think they are connected, they are just stupid extras to keep you people amused.) Also, I am not trying to be racist in any of the statements above, so please don't take offense to them. Thank-you and I hope to update soon. :)