Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me
Yeps, here's the revised version of this chapter. Thank you toThe Prime Minister and Hikari-03 for all your thoughtful suggestions and criticism! I've decided to just fix the grammar and leave the mid-chp narration in just cuz I wanna stick to that style. You guys are the best!
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Do you have some sort of ratty, yet beloved old toy sitting around in your room somewhere?
Many people do. The toy in question might be missing an eye or look like a mangled piece of garbage that your mother keeps nagging you to throw out. But we know better. That toy is a symbol, a memory. Perhaps a memory of something near and dear that happened in the past or perhaps a symbol of hopes and dreams for the future.
We see Ino standing in the middle of her room doing nothing.
It has been weeks since that day in the hospital. Weeks since she felt that odd gnawing sensation. It hasn't subsided and Ino found that she could not ignore it. What was wrong with her? She was pretty sure she wasn't ill or anything but she definitely felt sick. It was frustrating to say the least.
Her discontented gaze fell on a certain stuffed animal nestled amidst the plain white sheets on her bed. Ino reached down to touch the furry arm gently. She could still remember that morning exactly, even though it had happened nearly seven years ago.
It had been a sunny day, nothing out of the ordinary, and our young girl had been sitting on the front steps of her house. There had not been much to do and Ino had contented herself with making her way through a plate of dango while humming cheerfully under her breath.
A small shadow made itself known over her arm and Ino had turned a welcoming smile on the young boy standing next to her. A grunt came in reply as he simply stood there silently while she continued to smile up at him.
"Here."
A familiar brown bear had been thrust under her nose. Ino had blinked down at it before slowly reaching up to take hold of it. The stuffed animal was soft and slightly ragged from many years of love.
"Momo-kun?"
The tiny scowl had been accompanied by an embarrassed shifting away of his eyes.
"Stop calling him such a girly name. It's Momotsu."
Ino had looked at him curiously.
"But why are you giving him to me? You love him."
The usual grunt had escaped his lips again as he seated himself on the wooden steps next to her. The change in direction allowed him to turn to face the road, making it so that he could legitimately hide from her clear blue gaze.
"Yeah, well. You like him too, right? This way it won't be so troublesome."
Ino had smiled. He sounded so gruff. She could remember all those times she had teased the boy about the small toy sitting on his unmade bed. He had always refused to allow her to dress up the bear nor allowed her to use it as a hostage during their ninja games. His giving gesture had touched her greatly so Ino had refrained from the bubbling urge to tease him until the slight flush on his cheeks burned darker.
She had wordlessly offered him one of her sweets instead, which he took stoically as she cuddled the bear to her. They had spent the afternoon like that.
Ever since that day, Momo-kun resided on her bed. At nights, she cuddled him tightly, breathing in the faint scent of its previous owner that she was convinced still lingered even after many careful washings.
Shikamaru had come to her room once. His eyes had rested on the bear lying between her pillows before lifting to meet hers briefly. Ino had felt as though a curling warmth had infused her body at the gentleness she had glimpsed within those dark depths. He had said nothing and neither had she since she had felt oddly shy about drawing attention to the fact that she still slept with the bear he had given to her.
Ino groaned audibly. For some reason, the room felt stifling now. She needed to get out, needed to blow off some steam somewhere. We follow her as she leapt easily out the window and made her way across the rooftops towards the training field.
Another girl was already there, rhythmically landing blow after blow on the tall posts. It was that Hyuuga girl, the one with the pale eyes and dark hair. Ino has always had a soft spot for her; she was so quiet, so withdrawn.
"Ino-chan."
The soft greeting was met with a not exactly forced smile as our girl chose a post nearby.
"Hi, Hinata-chan. You're not at the hospital today?"
The Hyuuga had been visiting her cousin daily ever since he returned from the Sasuke mission with a hole blasted through his shoulder.
The Sasuke mission.
Ino whacked her leg against the post, falling into the familiar taijutsu routine. The dull twinge seemed to counter the ache inside and she was grateful for it.
"N-no. Neji nii-san returned home yesterday. He…he needed to rest so I came out to train."
The girl was fidgeting as some sort of emotion clouded those opaque eyes. Normally, Ino would have made some loud and cheerful comment to change the subject but today, she just did not feel up to it.
"It's good that he's doing better though. Chouji's up and running again, probably stuffing himself to make extra sure that he can fit back into his clothes."
They chatted intermittently. Then the Hyuuga brought it up.
"It…it's a good thing the other shinobi got there, right? I heard that they're leaving today."
Ino knew.
Someone had told her that Shikamaru would be seeing them off at the village gates. She couldn't remember who though. Over these past few weeks, she had seen him with them as they stayed at the Godaime's invitation. They could often be found sauntering through the village, the red-head silent while the blonde, and occasionally the other one, argued almost continuously with Shikamaru. He tended to reply in his usual offhanded manner, his half-lidded eyes drifting restlessly as though in search of something.
Ino never approached them. Once when she had been treating Chouji to ramen at Ichiraku as a sort of belated welcome-back gift, the four of them had walked in. They had seated themselves next to Chouji and Ino had muttered some excuse about being needed at the flower ship before placing the money on the counter and walking out. She had not said a word to any of them but she could feel their gazes, one in particular, as she nearly stumbled in her urgency to escape.
"Hmm."
The twinge became a painful ache as the strength of her blows escalated abruptly. The two were silent after this, each lost in their own thoughts.
-o-O-o-
Hinata had left a while ago, seeming to hesitate as she watched Ino's increasingly furious attacks but too timid to say anything. Ino could feel the sweat running down her face. Damn, it was hot today.
"Oi."
She barely paused, concentrating fiercely on the wooden post in front of her.
"What are you doing, Ino?"
"What does it look like I'm doing?"
The boy watched silently for a moment, his dark eyes traveling over the battered post as every whack of her hand or leg smeared more of her blood on the old wood.
"Something troublesome. Like you're trying to paint that pole with your blood."
She ignored him, hissing angrily as raw flesh scraped against the rough surface, the bindings under her arm wraps torn and useless.
"Stop. You're hurting yourself."
Ino has always been stubborn. He should have known better. If anything, the frequency and strength of the hits increased.
"Stop it, Ino!"
Large hands grasped her by the shoulders and jerked her to the side. Screeching, Ino shoved him away, dimly noting the trail of red marking his Chuunin vest by her movements.
Her blood.
"Let go of me!"
He stared at her as she stood there, her chest heaving and her pale hair flying in a tangled mess around her flushed cheeks. It was unbearable, this pressure in her chest that was both suffocating and threatening to explode at the same time. And the way he was watching her with that curiously shrewd expression wasn't helping in the least.
"Stop staring at me! What's your problem, anyways?"
"What's yours?"
She glared at him, forcing down the sudden sting in her eyes.
"You! You're my problem so why don't you just leave me alone?"
Shikamaru simply followed as she stomped furiously across the now empty field. The sun was still shining brightly down on them and Ino suddenly found herself unable to move. Her eyes dropped to her feet and noticed, without surprise, that he had caught hold of her using his Kagemane.
"Let go of me, Shikamaru."
Her voice took on a colder, calmer edge and somehow, that seemed to irritate the boy even more.
"No."
She found herself turning around to face him. He was standing right in front of her, his lean arms crossed solidly across his chest as he stared down at her. He could be just as stubborn as she was.
"Tell me what's going on, Ino."
At times like these, Ino was definitely grateful that his technique did not include controlling the movement of his captive's eyes. She fixed determinedly on the smear of her blood on his green vest. Somehow, that reminder of her weakness, her existence as nothing more than someone who stained his clothes with her need for protection, was almost obscenely vivid.
She bet the sand shinobi never bled on him.
"Talk to me, Ino."
She could not even shake her head. It was ironic how he usually grunted at her constant chattering and was now voluntarily asking her to talk. He said nothing, waiting patiently for her to respond. The silence was heavy, broken only by her desperately muffled harsh pants.
"Her…"
The word slipped out before she could clamp her lips shut.
Ino blamed it on the pressure inside her; it had forced it out. She had not wanted to say anything. She could almost feel his gaze sharpen. Ino had always known that underneath that perpetually lazy sheen, Shikamaru was a deeply intense person. If he cared, then he cared with everything inside him. If he ever went to the trouble of looking you in the eye, then you would be blown away by the swirl of emotions in those dark depths.
And it was this seeming contradiction, this well-hidden maelstrom of passion that had always called out to Ino. Had pulled her almost unconsciously towards someone who is everything she is not.
"Ino?"
She knew he had heard her and the knowledge had her mentally backtracking even though her body physically could not.
"N-nothing! Let go of me! How dare you use your Kagemane on me!"
"I said no. Now tell me why you've been avoiding me."
Do you understand? Have you ever felt that need to blurt something out so badly that your mouth goes dry and your tongue feels like it's sticking to the roof? But then you realize that you can't. It's one of those unspoken things that you instinctively know that if you say it, then everything changes. Everything you have ever known and are comfortable with will change and you have no idea whether the result will be good or bad. And that is why your lips are hard to pry apart, why the words that were screaming to get out mere moments before are now a poisonous jumble lodged in your throat.
Ino understood. And she hated it.
Hated this feeling of insecurity around someone she has known her whole life. Someone she trusted with her own life, not just figuratively, but also literally. But it was obvious that she had to say something or else he would simply hold her there all day and all night until she gave in. So she settled for something close to the truth. Words that were pushed out quietly but just as bitterly.
"You don't need me."
She looked up to meet the startled gleam in his eyes. Eyes that were focused solely on her.
"And I don't need you."
The dark expression that flickered fleetingly across his otherwise inscrutable face did nothing to alleviate the weight in her chest. If anything, it simply twisted it mercilessly until she felt as though every breath she sucked in was burning its way through her lungs.
"Do you even know what you're saying?"
His voice was low, carrying no further than her ears. The warmth of his exhalation tickled the short strands of hair curling around her neck and the confusing shiver that ran through her body almost had her crumbling in an ignoble heap at his feet.
"No, I don't. I don't know anything anymore."
The broken confession cost her more than he would ever know. Her head throbbing, Ino turned slowly and walked away. She was glad when he made no movement to stop her and she heard no footsteps following her. It took a while for her befuddled brain to register why she could even move at all.
He had let her go.
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A/N: Good luck to all those who are back in school again. Just got over my sore throat, thank goodness...
Next update coming on Thursday. Stay tuned!