Angel heard the door slowly swing open.

"Buffy?"

"No, it's me, Dawn. I wanted to talk to you. You and Buffy have had a misunderstanding, well, she has, at least, and you need to fix it," Dawn said forcefully. She had always been afraid of Angel, but she was no longer, he wasn't a vampire, she felt safe.

"What did I do?" he asked concerned.

"I'm not supposed to tell you this, but…" She told him everything that happened earlier, and she watched his face fall, and he looked more and more pained with everything she told him.

"I had no clue! I'm so sorry! Would you tell her that I'm sorry I caused so much pain, god! I swore that once I became human, I wouldn't hurt her anymore, and I've already failed!"

"No, you have to tell her, she won't trust me. She'll be furious that I told you what I just did."

"Then can you get her in here? So I can tell her?"

"I'll try."

"Thanks, Dawnie, you're a good sister." He patted her hand, and she didn't pull away.

"Not as good as she is to me. And Angel, if you hurt her, I will hurt you just as you've hurt her, if she feels as if her heart's being ripped to pieces, I will literally rip yours to pieces." With that, Dawn left, to see how Buffy was doing.

She found Buffy exactly where she had left her. She sat down on the edge of the bed and watched her sleep. She was so peaceful when she slept. Except when she was plagued with dreams. Dawn left her sister, knowing she was alright, to go and find Willow. She was also right where Dawn had left her, curled up in a ball, in the middle of the floor. Dawn called Spike, who picked up Willow, and placed her on the bed.

"Dawn, I just wanted to congratulate you on what you said. It wasn't at all what Buffy would have done, but you're not her, and I thought that it was the right thing to do. And I hope that if there's anything I can do to help you out, then just tell me."

"I'll keep that in mind, ok? Thanks for helping with Willow, she's really crushed. And Buffy's off her rocker. It was just a little misunderstanding, but with everything going on, she jumped to conclusions."

"And what would that be?"

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you, Buffy would kill me. I think that she holds herself responsible for everything that happened, all the deaths, all the girls gone. Let's just hope she gets over it."

"She will, she's a fighter. The best damn slayer I've ever met. Every time I tried to kill her, She kicked my ass, and sent me packing. And I've killed two slayers before, bit. She's the toughest I've come across. Don't worry too much, she'll be fine."

"If you say so. Spike, thanks."

"You're welcome, bit. Stay strong, it will all come out alright in the end. You can count on it."

"Spike, we're at the end. We defeated the First Evil, so what else are we to go against, everything else would be a bore, overkill."

"You're right, but life has a way of surprising you. Just wait and see, bit." With that, Spike left Dawn alone with Willow. Dawn sighed, and left too. She was tired, so she grabbed a sleeping bag, and lay on her floor, and was asleep within minutes.

L.A.

"I wonder how Angel's doing. It's been two days, and we haven't heard anything. Nothing at all." Fred said, pacing around the front lobby.

"It's ok, he'll be alright. He's the champion, he's needed."

"But he's just a vampire! Even if the world depends on him, he stopped the end of the world, what if he's no longer needed?"

"There's always someone trying to end the world. He'll always be needed, until someday, when he doesn't succeed."

"Lorne! Don't say that!"

"But it's true, sugar, someday he won't be able to win."

"It's still horrible!" Fred cried.

"I know."

"Let's just hope…" Cordelia started, but then she felt the rush that meant a vision was coming on. There was a flash of light, then she saw Angel, in Buffy's room, lying in her bed, and the windows were open, she could feel the cool morning air. The room was so bright, and there was sunlight on his face, he was smiling. He wasn't burning! Then, just as fast as it had come on, the vision disappeared.

"Wow, that was intense! Guys, I don't know what's wrong with him, but I don't think Angel's coming back to us."

"Vision?"

"Yeah... And he was covered in sunlight, and he was basking in it. Almost like he wasn't a vampire."

"Strange!"

"Yeah."

Sunnydale

Monday Morning

Buffy woke up to the sun peaking in through the window, at the foot of the bed. She stretched leisurely, keeping her eyes closed as long as she could.

Wait! Her eyes flew open, and sat straight up with a start. Where am I? My windows are to the side of my bed, not at the foot. /She looked around, and calmed down once she remembered she'd fallen asleep in Dawn's room.

She stumbled out of bed, and headed towards the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror, and was surprised to see her eyes all red and swollen. Like I've been crying, she thought, then everything came flooding back, the battle, all the girls' dead bodies, Angel. She felt like crying again, but she knew she had put off her responsibilities for too long. She tiptoed into her room, went to the closet, grabbed the first thing she saw, and hurried out. Angel was asleep, he didn't hear her. She went into the bathroom, and took a long, hot shower. It felt so good, her muscles had tightened up, after being used for so long, then finally getting some rest. The water massaged them, and she loved the feel.

Once she dried off, she dressed in what she had grabbed, a black tank, and her red leather pants. She was glad that most of her clothes matched, she didn't want to have to go in there again. She blow dried her hair, and put it up in a ponytail. Her eyes still looked puffy, so she put on some concealer, to hide it. Once she was satisfied with her look, she headed downstairs.

She found Spike rummaging in the fridge, no doubt looking for the blood she had gotten before the battle. She went to the coffee machine, and turned it on. She then turned to look at the sink. It was piled high with dishes. She sighed, then started to do the dishes. She heard Spike rummaging in the cabinet, looking for a mug. She quickly washed one, then handed it to him.

"Thank's luv. So, what's wrong with you? Dawn said you were stressed, but I saw right through that excuse. You've been crying," he said, concerned.

"It's nothing."

"Come on, luv, I know you better than that! Whenever you say it's nothing, or your fine, your really pleading for someone to pry you open, and spill your guts."

"Ok, if you say so, but seriously I'm fine!" she said, surprised, because he had hit the nail on the head.

"Bloody hell your fine! Didn't I just tell you I know you too well for that to work on me? Come on, tell."

"Fine, I found out yesterday, after Angel woke up that, well… He found a prophecy. If he stopped the apocalypse, then he would be redeemed for his efforts, his sins would be forgiven…"

"What are you trying to tell me, Luv?"

"He's… he's human, Spike. He's human!"

"Bloody Hell! He's human! But then why aren't you happy? I've seen the way you look at him, luv, I know the looks you were givin' him, you should be happy."

"Spike, he told me he wants a normal life!"

"So, who wouldn't?"

"I want a normal life, but I don't! Don't you see! He can't have a normal life with me, because I have a freak life! I have a witch for a best friend, I have a vampire living in my basement, and my best friend's sorta dating an ex-demon! My sister is a key to a door that unlocks hell on Earth! I don't have a normal life, and I never will!"

"Is that what your worried about, pet? Just as you've been giving him looks, he's been giving you looks. I see the adoration in his eyes, and the yearning. He yearns for you! He wants you with all of his being! You don't have to worry about him not loving you! He can't stop!" Spike cried. Neither can I. He thought bitterly.

"Are you sure?" she whispered.

"Of course I'm sure! He feel's for you just as I do, and so does Soldier Boy. You're lucky, luv, you have three men to choose from. But I'm the unlucky one, because I know your choice," He said, taking his blood out of the microwave. He sipped some carefully, yet still managing to burn his tongue. "Do you think I would be telling you this if I didn't think I had the slightest chance of winning you? If I thought I had a chance, I would be telling you whatever I thought you needed to hear to get you back in my arms, that the bloody poof had…shagged Cordelia, or that Fred chick. But I'm not, because it's not true, because he hasn't looked at another girl since he laid eyes on you," he said, glaring at her, before turning his gaze away, "Your sister's been worried about you, pet. She tried not to let it show, but she was torn, seeing you like that yesterday. She called a meeting, told us that she didn't want you to be disturbed, and I heard her telling the girls that if they woke you up, she would bloody well beat the crap out of them, no matter how fast they could run, or how strong they were. But enough of my yammering, Willow needs you. Kennedy died yesterday. She had lost too much blood, and Willow couldn't get the blood to stop. She used her sodding magick on me when I tried to get Kennedy's body! She wouldn't let me in the bloody room!"

"Oh! God! First Tara, now Kennedy! She must be hurting something awful!" Buffy said, putting her hands to her face, then realizing they were soapy, and wet.

"I'll finish up here, luv, go help Willow. She needs your support."

"Thanks, Spike." Buffy hugged him, then left for Willow's room. When she got there, she knocked softly, then let herself in. Willow was sitting by the window.

"Will? Are you alright? I heard what happened."

"Buffy, why do I have such problems with my love life? Why does everybody that I love die? Or leave? Remember when Xander was joking about going gay, well, I've been both straight and lesbian, and it hasn't helped me at all!"

"Sweetie, you just need to be patient. I haven't had the best luck either. At least you like people who are human!"

"Yeah, but still! Your boyfriend's were already dead, so they couldn't leave you when they died. And Oz wasn't human, well, most of the time he was. It's just not fair!"

"Do you know how many times I've said that! With all the trouble I've had! Willow, how is my being the slayer fair? How is my losing my mom fair? How is my dying twice fair? How is my sister not being my sister fair? Things happen that aren't fair, and we've all had our fair share of things that just aren't right! Kennedy knew that she would die eventually, and die sooner than later. All slayers have to understand that, and she knew that not everybody would live to see the end. She was lucky, she saw the end of the battle, and she was there until the very end! She did what she was put here to do, and, it might sound harsh, but she did what she had to, and now she's off to a better place. She's happy, now, Willow, and you might hurt, and you might feel like there's nothing worth living for, but Kennedy gave her life, and so did all the others, so that you could live, so that the world could go on, to see tomorrow. Don't let her sacrifice be in vain, don't you dare do something stupid, Willow, you hear me? We'll get through this together. I promise you that. There's going to be good times, and bad."

"But I didn't even fight, Buffy, she fought, and she died, and I didn't do anything to stop her!"

"Willow, you saw what I saw! Two girls were killed, because I froze, their deaths are on my soul, just because I froze when I saw Dawn lying there. All of the memories that aren't mine went flashing through my head, and I just froze, and now it's my fault that they're dead, Will, I killed them! Because I didn't do anything to stop those two vampires, they're dead, and so are most of the others! Only Amanda, Dawn, and two others are alive. And I can't remember their names right now, because my memory sucks, but I keep thinking that if I had tried just a bit harder, if I had been just a bit faster, some of them might still be alive. But that kind of thinking will kill you, Willow, I've come to realize that. I have to grieve, but not blame, because I'll wear myself out, and I'll feel bad about myself, and that's not what they would have wanted. Kennedy looked up to you, she loved you, and she wouldn't want you to hurt, she'd want you to be happy."

"How am I to do that, if everybody I care for dies?"

"You'll just have to get over it, if that's all you think about, then you'll curse yourself, your sub-conscience has it in for you, and you can't let it. You have to rise above it all! With everything I've been through, that's what I've learned. You have to trust yourself. Just do what you do, and be happy for yourself."

"I know Buffy, but it's so hard, picking up the pieces!"

"Well, if you'll let me, I'll help you pick up the pieces, and Xander will help, and Dawn, and Giles, and maybe Spike, or the Charmed Sisters, or Angel, they all might want to help! But they can't until you let them. Will you?"

"Yes, I will."

"Good. Now, why don't you go downstairs? I have something I have to take care of, well, two things, but I find you once I'm done, ok?"

"Yeah."

"Ok." With that, Both of them left the room, Buffy searching for Dawn, and Willow headed to the kitchen. Buffy found Dawn in her room. She was, well, Buffy wasn't sure what she was doing. She knocked, and Dawn looked up guiltily.

"What are you doing?" Buffy asked.

"Nothing, just lighting a candle, for each of the girls that died. Paige gave me the idea, and I'm trying to think up prayers to say for them. I'm trying to say thank you."

"That's sweet, Dawn. Come over here." Buffy sat on Dawn's bed. Dawn came over and sat beside her. "Dawn, thank you for letting me cry yesterday. It helped so much, just being able to cry, and spill all my problems. And I've realized that you're not my baby sister anymore."

"Finally someone realizes that!" Dawn said, smiling.

"No, you're not a baby. And I want to say that I'm sorry about all those times I tried to protect you. But that's my job as a sister, to protect you from hardships for as long as possible, and throw the slayer into the mix, well, I was super overprotective. And you really didn't help. The things you did, made me want to protect you more. But Thursday night, seeing you… that was horrible! And it just made me see how hard I'd been on you. How hard I'd made your life, when I was trying to help you, shield you from that type of stuff, and make your life just a little bit easier, but I wasn't. And I'm sorry. I truly am sorry, you can't ever know just how sorry I am."

"Yes, because I feel the same way, about how I've acted since you've become the slayer. It's just, you were so busy, you didn't have time for me, so I acted out, to get your attention. All I wanted was to be loved, like the old days, B.S., before slayer. And I am also sorry." Buffy hugged her.

"You don't know how much this means to me."

"How about you let me breathe?" Dawn asked.

"Sorry, this slayer thing, it isn't the best."

"That's ok."

"Now, if you excuse me, I have to go talk to Angel."

"Are you guys talking? When did that happen?"

"Spike talked some sense into me. I didn't want to listen, but what he said was true. When I say I'm fine, most of the time, I'm asking for help. If only I had realized that sooner. He told me that he couldn't deny the looks that he saw Angel shoot my way, he knew that Angel loved me, because he felt the same way. I realized that I had blown everything out of proportion, and now I have to make it up to Angel. So, if you'll excuse me, I need to get my life back together."

"You go, sis!"

"Angel, can I come in?" Buffy asked after knocking on the door.

"Of course you can, this is your room."

"Oh, yeah. Um, I'm sorry that I didn't come back, but I was freaking."

"It's been a lot to deal with, I understand."

"No, you don't. And I need to explain myself." She pulled up her desk chair to the bed.

"No, you don't have to explain anything."

"Yes, I do, so please, shut up and let me talk, this is hard enough, ok? With out you contradicting me. Yesterday, when you said that you wanted a normal life, well, it cut me deeper than I should have let it. And the reason is, because I shall never have a normal life, and after everything I've been through, I've realized I needed you, I loved you, totally, and completely loved you, and I didn't think I could live without you. So I was heartbroken, because I couldn't give you what you wanted, what you deserved, and I realized what you felt like, because now I knew. But, Spike told me otherwise. He's very observant. He said that he had noticed the looks of longing I had been sending your way, and he told me that if I had been paying more attention, I would have seen the looks you were sending me. And I realized that I had jumped to conclusions, and I now hate myself for it."

"Buffy…"

"No interruptions. I have to say this, Angel, I want you to remember this always, I love you, and I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Buffy, I love you too. I've also jumped to conclusions. Willow told me about you and Spike, as well as about Principal Wood. And I found my self incredibly mad, that you would lower yourself to them, because they don't deserve you. But I understand why you did. I have also had feelings for someone else, but they don't compare to you."

"Who?"

"Cordy," Buffy sat back, momentarily wanting to laugh at the ironic words Spike had said just a little bit before, "I don't know how, or why, but I was attracted to her. Maybe, just as you were with Spike. But I've realized my mistakes, and, laying here, newly human, and almost dying, I've found that I need you too. I think that if you hadn't come back, I don't think I would have had the strength to live. And if it wasn't for Dawn."

"What did Dawn do?"

"Don't kill her..."

"What ever gave you the idea I would?"

"She did. She came last night, and told me pretty much what happened in the bathroom, everything you told her."

"Ok, I am going to kill her!"

"Buffy, calm down, she also told me that if I hurt you in any way, if I made you feel if your heart was ripping into little pieces, then she would literally rip mine out, and rip it to bits."

"How sweet. Dawn!" Buffy yelled. They heard a door slam, and feet running down the stairs. "Excuse me, but I have a sister to hunt." Buffy got up to leave.

"Buffy," He grabbed her hand, "Please don't stay away long, I need you."

"I know. I'll be back in just a minute. Promise." She kissed his hand, then laid it at his side. She ran down the stairs.

"Dawn, Where are you!" she called. She walked into the living room. Anya, Spike and Faith were sitting on the couch. She gave them a questioning glance. Spike and Anya shrugged their shoulders, while Faith pointed into the kitchen. Buffy went into the kitchen. There sat Amanda. "Where's Dawn?" Buffy asked.

"I…I'm not supposed to tell you."

"Where is she!" Buffy asked again.

Amanda pointed into the dining room. Buffy followed the way she was pointing, to find Giles in the dining room, but no Dawn.

"Dawn?"

"That way," Giles said, pointing towards the living room. Buffy went two laps around the house, before she turned and went in the opposite direction, running into Dawn as she entered the kitchen. She grabbed her tight.

"Hey let go!"

"I am very mad at you right now!"

"Remember what you said, you were sorry about making my life hard!"

"It's about to get harder! Amanda, would you go into… never mind, we'll go outside." Buffy, holding onto Dawn's arm above the elbow, went out onto the porch, pulling Dawn with her.

"Let go of me!" Dawn cried.

"Why did you tell Angel what I told you, in sister secrecy?"

"Because you deserve a break."

"That's no, ok, wait, that wasn't what I was expecting. What do you mean?" Buffy said, sitting down on the steps.

"Your life has been miserable without Angel. It was okay with Riley, and tense with Spike, but you were happy with Angel, and I figured, after saving the world you deserved a break. I'm your sister, which means that I like making your life miserable, but it's not fun when you're already so miserable, I can't make it worse! I only want to see you happy, Buffy, because you're the only family I have left, and I feel bad about you."

"Thanks," Buffy said sarcastically.

"That didn't come out right! I mean… what do I mean?"

"I certainly don't know, and I don't think you do, either."

"Give me a minute… ok, yeah, you might not realize it, but when your tense, it makes others around you tense, and when you miserable, it makes others miserable. And I, personally, am tired of being miserable, so for that to change, you need to be happy, and you're not happy without Angel."

"Thanks, Dawn, but I'm supposed to look out for you, not the other way around."

"Yeah, but I took care of you yesterday. You, in the bathroom, you gave up your big sister status, and I took over, and I'm not giving it up, without a fight."

"You can have it! By all means, take it! And take the slayer bit while you're at it! I am tired of it!" Buffy joked.

"See, I like you better this way."

"Thank you, Dawn, for everything. Now, I think I have some stuff to do…"

"Like what, swap spit with Angel?"

"Hey! Well, yeah, maybe. Oh, I forgot all about Willow, she's so depressed, and I'm happy! Why does this always happen? When Oz left, I found Riley, and when Riley left, she was with Tara, and when Angel left, she was happy with Oz!"

"I'll take care of Willow. What do you think this calls for, ice cream?"

"Hey, you can take the big sister gig, but you can't take my best friend gig!"

"Fine! I won't help!"

"Good!"

"I love you, ya know that?"

"Eww!" Buffy said, giggling, "Yeah, your pretty cool sometimes yourself. I can see me loving you sometimes."

"But not all the time?"

"Never!"

That afternoon, they had a burial ceremony for the girls. They said a few words, about how courageous they were in the danger of battle, and that they would be missed. Spike, in all the free time he seemed to have, had made crosses with the girls names on them. He looked very smug with himself at everyone's surprise, even if his hands were bandaged. Angel, with the help of Buffy, even came down to the ceremony.

The days started blending together in a rhythm, Buffy had called in a leave of absence from the school, but Dawn and Amanda still went. Angel got stronger and stronger every day, and Buffy bearly ever left his side. She had moved a cot into her room, where she supposedly slept, but Dawn would have bet anything she didn't use it.

After a week, Angel started getting out of bed for longer and longer periods of time, but he still seemed to need Buffy's support, because there she was, tucked under his arm.

"Buffy, I've been thinking…" Angel said, one night, stroking her hair. He was in the bed, she was on top of the bed, next to him. She was tempted to change that, but the memories of the first time sharing a bed with him still haunted her. She knew nothing would, could come of it now, but the memories were still there, haunting her.

"About what?"

"About us. Soon, I'll be strong enough to stay out of bed all day, I am now, and I'll even be able to walk on my own." He teased her. "It's time, I think, to look towards our future, Buffy, now that I can promise you one."

"I'm just happy living one day at a time, just as I was before."

"But now, I can give you a future, and I desperately want to. Buffy, I don't have anything for you, yet, but would you marry me? Don't answer yet, not until I have a ring for you, just think about it, ok?"

"Angel, you've already given me a ring! I don't need another." She leaned over him, and rummaged in the drawer to her night stand. She pulled out the Claddagh Ring he had given her, and handed it to him. "Of course I'll marry you, silly, I love you!" He slipped the ring onto her finger. He reached up to kiss her, and she moved into his embrace.

A few hours later, she woke, with a start. Her whole body was trembling. She was soo cold! She panicked, and rolled over. Angel was lying there, so peaceful. She sighed in relief. She thought for a moment that old habits died hard, but she was wrong. She slipped out from under the covers, to close the window. She turned, to find the door wide open! She blanched, and grabbed the closest thing at hand, to cover herself.

"Don't worry, luv, I've seen it all before."

"How long have you been there?"

"Long enough, luv."

"Get out of here!"

"I just couldn't believe that I'd lost you, until I saw it with my own eyes."

"You saw! You watched! You're sick! You are one sick bastard, Spike! You need some help!" She hissed.

"I'm sick, because I love you. Always will. What I said in the kitchen, I didn't know what I was saying."

"Don't you dare blame this on me! Spike, can't you just be happy for me? I so wasn't myself when I was with you. I'm happier now, happier than I've been in a long time. Please, just leave me alone."

"I'll try, if you're sure that's what you want."

"Yes. Go. Please." He disappeared into the shadows of the hall. Buffy hurriedly closed the door, then leaned against it. She sighed.

"Buffy, what's wrong?" Angel asked sleepily. He propped himself up on one elbow.

"Nothing, I was cold, and the door had blown open." She fibbed, hating lying to him. Hating herself for doing it. She promised she'd tell him eventually.

"If you're so cold, come on back over here, and I'll do my best to warm you up." He enticed. She consented, slipping between the covers, into the hollow under his arm.

She stared at him lovingly for awhile.

"What?" he asked finally.

"You're still here." He kissed her lips in answer. "Oh, It's so good to have you back," she said, inhaling his distinct scent.

"You have no idea how good it feels to be back. No matter what happens, remember, I'll always love you. I love you with every piece of my now beating heart," he whispered in her ear.

She turned her face upwards, towards his. "Just kiss me, hold me, and don't let go."

"Never," he promised.