Chapter 02
Just then, Red Alert ran by, giggling as he hurried to his room. He then shut the door, and noises of Autobot/ Decepticon toy battle could be heard.
(behind the shut door)
" Yess...Optimus...You bow before your master, Red Alert! You too, Megatron!
(Impersonating Optimus) Oh yes, master! I love you so much!
(Impersonating Megatron) Yesss...master, I will ignore Optimus and focus on only you!"
(outside the door)
Midnight Express looked at Prime, whose eyes were the size of Autobot Energon dinner plates.
"And you said I had odd obsessions..."
Optimus smacked Midnight. "DAMMIT MIDNIGHT! I'm tired of your damn obsessions! I thought you were the responsible one!"
Megatron glanced out a window. "Optimus, you have yourself one odd Autobot there."
Eris loooked around. " Did I miss something?"
The Autobots in the lobby shrugged. "Uhhh..."
MEANWHILE-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ultra Magnus was making a clean getaway. He had as much oil as he could carry, and he had drank his fill at the oil pump. Now, he would be remembered. No one back at the base, even his beloved Arcee would pay any attention to him.
MEANWHILE-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An indignant Grimlock was Glaring at Optimus.
"You is Communist Grimlock whiff!"
Optimus shrugged. "Well...I'm not really Communist, that's a human thing. But the idea of total government control drools... it sounds good to me. Karl Marx was right!"
He then revealed the tattoo he had been hiding. It was...a duckie.
"They were out of Scythes and Hammers."
Upon seeing the angry Autobots and Decepticon, he changed his mind.
"Err...I'm a market socialist?"
Just then, Ultra Magnus burst in with a massive barrel of oil. "I got hard oil, guys! Let's party!"
Arcee looked Magnus in the eye. "Who are you, again?"
Magnus fell over. "I'm your beloved Ultra Magnus!"
Arcee giggled. " I don't know any Ultra Magnets!"
Ultra Magnus's face flushed. "ULTRA MAGNUS! NOT MAGNETS! AAARGH!"
Everybody but the depressed Ultra Magnus went backto what they were doing.
Maxima and Arcee decided to move to a safer area; where they wouldn't be pestered by annoying admirers.
Well, Megatron and Optimus were worried about Red Alert's ahem fantasies, so they kindly exploded the door down.
Red Alert was making hundreds of Transformers toys bow before him.
"Uhh...It's not what it looks like?" He said. His hands were on the toys of Optimus and Megatron...too close...
Midnight Express was walking by, fondling a digital watch. Everybody glares at him.
"What? She understands me!" He cried.
"Your troops are really screwed up, Optimus." Megatron noted.
MEANWHILE (haven't had one of those for a while)------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ultra Magnus woke up the little bat outside the base.
"Whaa...no...I do want a mochacheese something latte with extra baby back ribs..." Ben mumbled.
"Wake up, stupid!" Ultra Magnus yelled.
"Whaa..? Ultra Magnus? Whatcha doing so early?"Ben grumbled.
"You like Maxima, right?" Ultra Magnus says in a smooth voice.
"Yeah. I bet she like to burn stuff too!" Ben said.
"Then today, my friend, when you go to school with the humans, you'll do as I say..."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rad, Alexis, Carlos, Kicker,Hot Shot, Ironhide, Jetfire, Maxima, Skybyte, Arcee, and Ben were waiting for the school bus. The transformers were in human forms, one of Eris's many talents.
"Why do I hafta go to school?" Ben whined. "I'm millions of years old! I knew Aristotle and Plato! And Genghis! I don't need no schoolin'!"
"Shut up, Ben!" Kicker yelled. "At least you're in the correct time period. YOU pulled me 16 years into the past!"
Carlos decide to play the part of the mediator. "Now, now; Kicker, we like having you back here. Besides, it's better than digging for Energon, right?"
Kicker shrugged. "Slightly."
Skybyte sipped some oil from his canteen. He then spat it out and began to choke on it.
"IDIOT! You're human right now! Oil is poisonous to humans! Serves you right for trying to get tipsy before school!" Arcee yelled.
Maxima looked up at the sky. "I hope school will be a good place." She said in a soft voice without accent.
Ben ran up to Maxima. "You have a beautiful voice. Do you like to burn things?"
Maxima was srprised. " Maybe you aren't so bad." She said as she patted him on the head.
"YAY!" He jumped for joy and danced in circles, eventually straying into the strret. Unfortunately for him, the bus was coming at 50 MPH.
"AAGH!"
SPLAT!
The entire group gaped at the bus in horror.
"BEN!" Ironhide yelled.
"owch..." Ben grumbled from underneath the bus. He crawled out sporting the latest fashion : Tire tracks on one's face.
The bus driver stared n horror. "Are..Are..Are you..Ok?" He asked, timidly.
"Yeah. That really hurt. Can I have some soda?" Ben asked.
"How the HELL are you even ALIVE!" Arcee yelled.
"You're an IDIOT!" Ironhide joined in.
"What the UCK?" Jetfire boomed.
"Wow. that really had to hurt." Carlos added.
Alexis was asleep.
"Grandma said you were stupid, but Wow." Rad said.
Maxima slamed her fist down on Ben's head."MORON! YOU WORRIED ME!" She blasted.
"OWCH! Aww..you do like me!" Ben said.
SLAP!
"Dude, you got slapped!" Hot Shot snickered.
--------------------Meanwhile, Back at HQ--------------------------
Midnight was still in trouble. Grimlock was put in charge of the lecture.
"Me Grimlock think you weird. You like clocks. Why not chase red sports car like Sideburn?Why not get girlfriend? Me Grimlock got girlfriend. She on Cybertron. Me Grimlock think you need mental help. Do, me Grimlock help you. " He then tail whipped Midnight in the head.
"Me Midnight, I mean I,Damn you, have my obsessions under control. You need to learn English, Fossil brain!" Midnight burst.
"HEY! Me Grimlock fix you good!"
A fistfight broke out.
---------------Meanwhile, on the bus------------------------------------------
Alexis, who had now woken up, realized that she was sitting next to Kicker, who had a...personal space issue.
"HEY! NO touchie!"
Skybyte nudged Ben, who was sitting at the window, trying to scry his reflection.
This bus has big tires. Ben thought to himself.
He felt depressed because he wasn't very ppopular with Maxima, nor her adoptive best friend, Arcee. Heck, even Alexis seemed to dislike him.
"Hey Ben! We're almost there! What's negative i to the 8th?" Skybyte asked.
Ben glared at him. "Negative eight."
The bus stopped at the high school.
"Now, all of us are scheduled to have the same classes, 'cept Carlos, 'cause he's so cool." Hot Shot said.
"Dude! How did you live through getting run over?" Carlos asked, as they walked.
"I'm an Archangel. A-duh." Ben said, as he strode toward the main door. As soon as they got to the main door, it opened vehemently, onto Carlos's face. He began to bleed profusely.
"Agh!" Carlos yelled, muffled by the door.
--------------------Meanwhile, in Canada-------------------------------------
"Are you lost!" Ultra Magnus yelled up to Starscream.
Magnus was driving thorugh the Canadian forest, as Starscream flew overhead.
"No! We'll hit Mexico City anytime! Hey, does Mexico have moose!" Starscream yelled back.
"Yeah! But down here they're called 'bulls'!" Ultra Magnus responded.
"What about Bears?" Starscrem called down.
"Ummm...no. They probably escaped from the local ...ummm... zoo."
Then, they got to the Canadian Parliament. They Transformed into robot mode and burst down the door.
"So, Vicente Fox, we meet again...wait...you guys ain't Mexicans! Dammit Starscream! These guys are not Mexicans!" Ultra Magnus yelled.
Starscream put his hand behind his head
" Oh well, I guess that's because I failed Earth Geography!"
They both began to slink away. The Canadian Prime minister them and yelled. "Hey! Who's gonna pay for that door? And my Carpeting!"
Starscream shrugged. "I don't know. All good Questions. Well, bye!" He dashed out the door.
---
R&R!